CHAPTER 2

Walking into the courtyard felt like walking into a death sentence.

It was a long time since she saw her family gathered.

Ok.

Maybe not so long.

They all put aside whatsoever they might be doing to have breakfast every fortnight.

It was a tradition her father started after Sara’s death and it seemed like the family was about to break apart.

Not that it did much in mending the gap in communication, seeing as conversation was usually limited during their breakfast. Much of the talking was usually done by her brothers and father but at least, the tradition kept their family together and relatively sane.

Scar felt her father’s piercing grey eyes as she entered the room, eyes she had inherited.

She did not have to look up to know it, she felt it just like she felt every breath, every sigh and every regret and condemnations in their heart as she moved closer to them.

Alan stood up and smiled at her, drawing back a chair for her. But she did not bother returning his smile. Neither did she acknowledge the beaming devil of a younger brother she had.

Seath practically had stars and hearts dancing in his eyes when she looked at him momentarily.

She hated seeing that.

It reminded her of a time she had the same look whenever she looked at Sara.

She made a beeline for the chair without acknowledging anyone in the room, at the same time avoiding any eye contact.

From beneath her eyes, she could see the still look in her mother’s eyes.

The soul in her had died with Sara and had died all over again when she gave birth to a wolf instead of a witch two years later.

Seath was as deprived of motherly love as her but the boy seemed to thrive in spite of it.

“Good morning Scarlett. You woke up quite late,” he said calmly.

Her father finally spoke in the tense silence.

She nodded her head towards him in acknowledgement but gave no explanation or excuse or apology.

She owed no one none of that. And it didn’t matter anyway.

She knew as much as anyone else in the family that Alexander Shaw was trying to reconnect the bond they once had but she knew he would never get past the guilt to actually get to know her again. She knew how much she reminded him of her sister. She was a walking evidence of his failure as not just an Alpha protecting a member of his clan but as a father who could not protect his cub.

And she was not ready to help him see past that because she herself could not live past it.

“Did you sleep well?,” Seath asked her with a worried look she did not like.

He knew about her nightmares, just like Alan.

He had found out pretty early when he used to sneak into her room, wanting to snuggle next to her at night.

Many a time, he had been the one to shake her out of the gripping coldness of the darkest shadows of her heart. He had been the one she gripped tightly and wept on his little shoulders. He had been the one to see her at her worst. After her breakdowns, she promptly pushed him beyond the walls she had erected around her heart. She did not deserve his love and she had hated seeing the dejected look that entered his eyes each time she did that.

But that never stopped Seath. He had made it his life ambition to always be there after every nightmare.

Again, a love she did not deserve, a love she deeply reciprocated but would never admit. Could never admit.

And she had hated every moment of it. Because in her own weak way, she had tainted her brother’s childhood. She was one of the reasons he grew faster than his age. Because no one except Alan, had actually been there to show him love. And Alan wasn’t exactly the most emotional being.

“I bet she did, seeing as she was reliant to part with the sheets this morning,” Alan replied gently when she refused to acknowledge Seath’s question.

He gave a curt nod, the worry leaving his eyes to be replaced by his ever beaming smile.

Scar almost smiled whenever she saw it. It seemed like his coping mechanism in his dysfunctional family.

Her father gave a signal and the servants started bringing in the platters for breakfast. Scar filled her plate generously.

Even though she was living in a tunnel of self loathing and guilt, she always had a good appetite, and it was obvious in her extra curvy shape.

At first, it had started as a way to get a reaction out of her mother. When her body had started changing, she had caught her mother giving her a hard look a number of times during their breakfasts together when she filled her plate to the brim.

Then she had kept on doing it, eating and eating until she could eat no more, waiting for her mother to scream at her like she used to when she was little and she tried to be mischievous with her.

But over time, even that hard look had disappeared, like she gave up too early on her daughter’s gluttony, like everything else in her life.

Then and thereafter, Scar continued to eat like a glutton in spite of it. She loved the food. Their cook had been with the family as long as should remember and to her, she made the best meals. It was the only thing that did not change since Sara’s death and Scar appreciated that one constant factor in her life.

“The Mcshane clan will be visiting later today,” her father stated tersely.

Scar continued with her meal, tuning out of the conversation because she automatically believed her father was addressing the statement to her brother.

“I want you to be present Scarlett,” she heard him saying and she finally looked away from her food towards him with many questions in her grey eyes.

Why did he want her present? She had never been present whenever they had guests in the castle. It was almost like the clan kept her hidden, probably because of what happened with Sara.

And why would her presence be required when the Mcshane clan was visiting? He was her father’s old friend and he was more of family than friend. There was no big deal about his visit or was she mistaken?

Like he could hear the tires turning in her head, he replied, “He would be coming with his eldest son. I want you to meet him.”

She expected him to explain further but he stopped. And she did not fail to see the identical frigid and cold protective look that entered Alan and Seath’s eyes.

Even her cold mother seem to have gone colder in her seat.

“Why?,” everyone chorused, including her mother, drawing everyone’s attention to her mouth.

For the first time in a very long time, Scar noticed her mother still felt something.

Alexander Shaw cleared his throat uneasily, doing his best not to show he was affected by the theee pair of baby blues and grey eyes. “Scarlett is twenty and it is time I started forming strong alliances. The Lauchair clan is getting bolder everyday, coming into our land to steal and kill and rape,” her father said with pain in his eyes, “I need people to fight with us. I need to protect my people.”

“The Mcshane clan would fight with us if we so wish. We do not need to marry Scar off for their alliance. "

"Okay You have it father,” Alan said calmly despite the storm in his eyes.

“He is just a friend. He could decide to turn against me if the right incentive presents itself. I need a guarantee that he would always side with the clan no matter what.”

“And that guarantee has to be a child?,” Eleanor asked quietly.

Her father turned to her mother with an almost apologetic look, like he was about to say he’s sorry for his decision but they all knew he was too proud and rigid for that.

Instead, he gave her a terse nod.

And with a muttered apology, she rose up and left the courtyard in an elegant hurry, even before her brothers and father could get out of their seats.

The awkward silence after was unbearable. Scar lost her appetite and instead, started staring around the courtyard. Her gaze swept across the black, towering columns surrounding the courtyard like graceful soldiers, to the open sky where everything seem so calm. The cloud seemed s to be moving so slowly, oblivious to the storm around her.

Her gaze came down to accidentally focus on Seath. She stared back at him like he was staring at her with a worried smile on his lips. She took in his angelic features, so much identical to Alan’s and her heart broke thinking of all the chaos he had to face as soon as he was born.

His look pierced her soul, reached to the yarning space in her heart and for the first time, she returned his smile with one of her own, albeit a sad one.

And she almost laughed at his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets in shock.