3. He Who Remembers

“No… of course not,” I said abruptly, my breathing was uneven. I can’t believe he just asked me that. I didn’t expect that he would even think about it, or that he would care.

I took one step away from him. “Let’s just get over it. It’s nothing now. If you’re just concerned if you got me pregnant, then I tell you that you didn’t, okay?”

He just looked at me, stared at my expression as if he wants to decipher my thoughts.

“I need to go,” I said and walked past him as calmly and fast as I could.

I was thankful enough that he didn’t try to stop me. I’m so nervous now that I’m afraid I would slip and say something foolish. There’s no room for mistakes when It comes to Jacques. He’s my most precious here in the world. I don’t know what I would do if his life gets ruined because of me.

I went straight to Jacques’ room when I went home. It’s past nine and he’s already asleep. I looked at him and I sighed when noticed his similarities with his father.

Jacques is a smart kid. When he was younger, he knew that the family he has isn’t the same as others. He once asked where his father was, and why he wasn’t with us. I don’t want to lie to him and make him hope for something that is impossible to happen, so I told him that his father can’t be with us. I don’t know how he thinks about it, but I guess in his age, he understands that we only have each other. Maybe in the future when he’s older I’d be able to tell him the whole truth and make him understand what really the situation is.

I want to give him a whole family eventually. When the time comes, I’d like to marry someone who’s willing to father Jacques. But this is not the time for that yet. Maybe in a few years if ever I would meet someone.

I went to work early the following morning. Rachel and Monique were busy talking when I arrived and they tried to join me to the conversation, but my mind is flying somewhere else.

I admit, I’m still worried about Ethan. I don’t know if I convinced him or not, but I’m sure he won’t dig deeper on that, right? What will he get anyway? As if we had a relationship back when it happened, and as if he’s desperate for a child. For sure there are tons of women out there willing enough to give him one. There’s no need to delve into a past that only happened by accident.

“Seem on a deep thought, aren’t we?”

I snapped out of my reverie and looked at Jake who’s now sitting beside me.

“I don’t think you have a problem in your finances, but the look in your face seems like you’ve lost a big bet, or that you have a big debt to pay.”

I shook my head and smiled a little. Jake is just about my age and close to probably all of the girls in our department including myself. He’s playful but really observant.

“Just thinking about some trivial things.”

“Sure,” he nodded with a doubting smirk in his face before going back to his table.

I sighed and started working my ass off. I will get nothing from overthinking so I’d rather just do something valuable than think of so many what ifs.

However, despite how I’m trying so hard to focus, I can’t get over my thoughts. I never regretted having Jacques. But of all people, why did I have to sleep with Ethan? He is the last man on earth I’d want to be intimate with. And remembering fragments of that night doesn’t help.

That time, I was one of the interns sent to join a conference in a hotel. When the conference was done, our team went for a dinner and had some drinks until most of us were drunk. I don’t have high alcohol tolerance as I don’t usually drink, and just a few cocktails did the magic. So to escape from the embarrassment of passing out there, I told them I’d go to the bathroom but the truth is I went to go upstairs, to the rooftop, hoping that some fresh air could help me sober up.

I couldn’t remember what exactly happened, but I do remember seeing someone else in the rooftop. There was a man. He was looking at the city lights, one hand holding onto the railings while the other has a bottle of expensive alcohol. Just by looking at his back, he looked decent enough with his suit and slacks, so I didn’t feel like there was danger for me. The hotel was high-end and he must be one of those high-profiled people who has business there or something.

I didn’t mind the man and went to the railings, probably two meters away from him. From the sides of my eyes, I saw his head turned to me. I looked back at him out of instinct.

He sure was handsome, but his face didn’t get to me at first. Seconds later, I realized that he looked like my boss, Ethan Ambrose. But that isn’t possible. Mr. Ferrer said at the dinner that Mr. Ambrose was in Dubai for a business trip. Maybe this man just resembled him, or maybe its because I’m drunk that I’m seeing things.

“I don’t need a company.” His voice was utterly cold as he said that.

I was confused though. “Pardon?”

He stared at me, and that was when I noticed he has electric blue eyes. But at that moment, the way he looked at me resembled the lightless sky above us. Incredibly dark.

“I said l don’t need a company, so leave.”

When I finally realized what he meant, I was shocked. Offended, even. And I guess because of alcohol in my system, I didn’t have the patience to filter the words that went through my mouth.

“Why are you asking me to leave? And you don’t want a company? Sure. I’m not here to accompany you. Didn’t you see? I’ve set a distance so I won’t disturb you. You looked at me and I just returned the gaze. Why do you have to be so rude? Is this your property? Even if that’s the case, I’m a guest. You have no right to do that.”

“How can I be sure that you’re not one of those paparazzi desperate for a shot?”

Now that got me more confused.

“Paparazzi? And desperate? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you anyway? Are you an actor, model or some huge personality? Because honestly, I don’t even know you. I don’t have cameras with me, I don’t even have my phone.”

I shook my head in disappointment and went farther from him. I understand that he’s handsome and he’s probably in show business, but did he need to be that rude? He could have asked me to leave nicely if he was suspecting me. For a rich man, he has such a poor character. Shame on him.

A few minutes passed and both us stayed silent. I didn’t even glance at him again. As if I would see him clearly though. My sight was already a bit blurry because of my dizziness. I really shouldn’t have drunk too much for my tolerance.

And then the next thing happened…

I just found myself kissing that rude man, which led to something sinister. And I don’t really understand. I remember being so mad at him, and he also didn’t like my presence there. So how come we slept together? And how come he remembers everything?