[--Esmarie Cruz--]After Kaiser took his meds, I noticed a change immediately. He seemed to slip into a docile, almost hollow version of himself as if the medication had dulled every sharp edge of his being. I couldn't help but assume the second medication—whatever it was—had something to do with depression. God knows, Kaiser needed it. Hell, we all probably did at this point.I helped him to his feet, guiding him down the hall to his bedroom. His movements were sluggish, almost mechanical like he was following my lead without being fully present. When I tucked him into bed, he didn’t drift off immediately. His eyes, empty and distant, shifted between me and the ceiling above. It was unnerving, to see him so vacant. Kaiser was always intense, even when he wasn’t talking, there was always this storm brewing behind his gaze. But now? Now he was just…gone.Fuck, meds scare me. Everything scares me.Eventually, his breathing evened out, and he fell asleep. I stood there for a moment longe
[--Esmarie Cruz--]Martha lingered in the kitchen with me, her hands moving with the easy grace of someone who had done this a thousand times, and yet there was something undeniably warm about her presence. She chopped, stirred, and mixed with calm precision, her eyes occasionally darting up to meet mine, offering a small, encouraging smile. The kitchen filled with the comforting aromas of spices, garlic, and simmering herbs, each scent like a balm, bringing a sense of grounding that I so desperately needed. I tried to focus on the task, on slicing vegetables and stirring the broth just right, letting the familiar rhythm of cooking distract me, if only for a moment.As we worked, the conversation was light, almost aimless. Martha told me a story about her sister’s garden, about the lavender and rosemary she had planted, and how they flourished under her care. I smiled, trying to picture it—the delicate rows of purple blossoms, the strong scent of herbs wafting in the air. For a short
[--Kaiser Volkov--]I’m drowning in darkness, held in its vice-like grip, a weight pressing in from all sides. The air is thick and heavy, each breath a struggle that brings only more despair instead of relief. It’s as though I’m caught in some endless, inky void, with shadows clawing at me, pulling me deeper, binding me tighter. I can hear voices, distant and distorted, like whispers floating through the fog, just beyond reach. I try to make out their words, but they slip away like sand through my fingers, leaving only fragments—broken, mocking echoes that tear through my mind.My head pulses with a dull ache, a rhythm that matches the frantic beating of my heart, which pounds hard enough that I can feel it reverberating through every cell, every nerve. It’s a familiar pain, an old hurt I thought I’d buried, one I thought I’d left far behind. But here it is again, rising up from the depths like some vengeful ghost, and I can’t escape it. I was doing better. I’d convinced myself I was
[--Kaiser Volkov--]Esmarie is in my bed.My mind stumbles over that fact as I feel her body pressed against mine, soft and warm, her breath steady and peaceful. Her head is tucked into my chest, her hair brushing my neck. I’m not used to this—not used to waking up with someone like this. Someone in my bedroom. I keep it as a safe space for myself, and myself alone. It’s too close, too intimate, and my heart pounds faster in my chest, betraying me. I don’t even remember falling asleep, much less how we ended up here like this. My arms are wrapped around her, holding her tightly as if my subconscious has been craving this closeness. But why? Why are we here, together, like this?I try to shake her gently, just enough to startle her awake. I need her to wake up because if she wakes up, then maybe this strange sense of comfort I’m feeling will break. Maybe reality will snap back into place. But she only mumbles something incoherent and shifts, snuggling deeper into my chest, her fingers
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I’m startled awake by the sound of groaning, small wails breaking through the quiet of the night. At first, my instinct is to think it’s one of the twins—maybe one of them stirred from a bad dream, or they’re hungry—but it’s not them. My maternal instincts kick in, and I’m halfway out of bed before I realize it’s not coming from the nursery downstairs.It’s Kaiser.His muffled, strained sounds send a jolt of panic through me. He’s somewhere in the room, his voice low and ragged, like he’s fighting off some invisible demon. I fumble in the dark, trying to make sense of what’s happening. Then I hear something else—a small thud. Something shattered.My heart races, adrenaline kicking in. Without thinking, I rush to the ground, finding him crouched beside the bed, knees drawn to his chest. His phone is shattered into pieces on the floor. What the hell happened?“Kaiser!” I reach for him instinctively, wanting to comfort him, to pull him into my arms and figure out what’
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I reached around Kaiser for his phone, my fingers trembling slightly as I grasped it from the shattered pieces on the floor. It was my final attempt to get him to snap back to normal. The screen—thank god—was still working, though cracks spider-webbed across it, distorting the image. My heart raced as I unlocked it, praying that what I was about to do would give him the reassurance he needed. Kaiser was spiraling, trapped in his mind, and I had to pull him out of that dark place.Carefully, I navigated through his contacts until I found the name: Will. Kaiser's beta. The man he swore was real, even as the doubts clawed at him. I called the number, holding Kaiser close, his body shaking against mine as he mumbled incoherently, lost in his fear and self-doubt.The phone rang. Once, twice. My breath caught in my throat as I waited, praying that this would help, that hearing Will’s voice would pull him back from the edge.On the third ring, a voice answered—steady, calm
[--Kaiser Volkov--]When I awoke a few hours later, I kind of hoped last night had been nothing but a bad dream. It wasn’t. Esmarie was in my bed reading a book on how to raise alpha twins. I felt a bit sad for her. She’d taken care of me through the night, and likely her twins as well. I also feel sweaty and gross, and I cried in front of her. Geezus, what am i a loser?Crying in front of her, freaking out over medication... I am not insane... or at least I wasn’t until I snapped. Just like Jacob said, I’m spiraling.I turned to lay on my back.“Oh you’re up, how are you feeling?”“Like crap. What happened to the AC?”“It went off in the middle of the night. I think the power is out in the whole house. I brought the twins up.” she pointed to the side of the room closest to her and I saw the twin alphas drooling in their crib.“The power line must have tripped off. Someone will turn it back on in three hours. I can get the backup generator working.”“Okay, do you need me to-”“No, it’
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I won’t blame Kaiser for anything besides his obvious fear of getting better. It isn’t really a fear from what I can see; it seems like he just doesn’t believe he can get better. Being diagnosed as schizophrenic at the young age of nine must have been terrifying. What kind of friend was I at that time, that I didn’t notice my best friend was suffering—that he felt he couldn’t share with me?“You’re not crazy, but Kaiser, ignoring your problems is a terrible tactic. You’re doing yourself a lot of harm. I believed you, you know?”His hooded gaze shifts. “What?”“I believed you. When you were crying, I started to think that my being here caused your walls to crack. Then I realized even more that this isn’t on me, Kaiser. You don’t want help.”“Come with me.” He tugs me, and I’m prepared to argue that he’s being a jackass, but he doesn’t give me a chance. I’m taken to his office, and my mind immediately goes to the yellow package I saw yesterday when I was cleaning his
[--Kaiser Volkov--]I'm not entirely sure when Esmarie and I rounded off our conversation and made our way back into the house, but we did. It felt like one of those surreal moments where the world fades into the background, and for once, everything just clicks. I couldn’t stop replaying her words in my head, letting them wash over me like a balm to wounds I didn’t even realize were still open. The thought of being allowed to have a relationship with her—being given that chance—made something in my chest tighten in a way I wasn’t used to.It was all part of my grand scheme to seduce her, and it worked out well.Tch. Part of me wanted to punch the air, another part wanted to groan because I could practically hear my wolf laughing at me. There wasn’t some master plan to seduce her. I hadn’t been sitting around with a blueprint labeled Operation Win Esmarie’s Heart—but here I was, somehow making progress despite myself. Despite the universe actively choosing to expose all of my darkest
[--Esmarie Cruz--]After the festivities of the evening, watching the vibrant fireworks and basking under the serene glow of the blue moon, Kaiser drove us back home. The ride was a quiet one, the kind of silence that feels natural after a long and eventful day. I felt a sense of peace, mixed with exhaustion and a tinge of happiness. The twins were snug in their car seats, their soft breaths barely audible but enough to remind me of their comforting presence. Kaiser seemed at ease as he drove, his usual stern features softened by what I could only describe as contentment.There wasn’t much to say between us, and the silence stretched comfortably. I found myself lost in the hum of the car’s engine, my thoughts wandering back to the festival. The glow of the moon, the music, the laughter of the crowd—all of it replayed in my mind like a pleasant daydream. Every now and then, I would glance at Kaiser, trying to decipher his thoughts, but his focus remained on the road, his expression unr
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I sat at Martha's booth, working alongside her and spending the majority of the day helping to feed people. It wasn’t something I had expected to enjoy, but as the hours went by, I found myself actually looking forward to it. The rhythm of chopping, stirring, and serving felt comforting in a way I hadn't anticipated. The people who stopped by were all so kind, and their smiles after tasting the food made it all the more rewarding. Each compliment was like a small victory, and by the time the afternoon began to fade, I was proud of what we had accomplished. The booth was buzzing with energy, the air filled with the mingling scents of freshly cooked dishes. But underneath the pleasant hum of conversation and laughter, there was an underlying current of nervous excitement in me. The twilight ceremony was only a few hours away.I was both nervous and excited. It was my first time experiencing the twilight ceremony. The anticipation, the magic of it all, stirred somethin
[--Esmarie Cruz--]The next morning, I woke up nestled in Kaiser’s arms. The sensation was disorienting—unfamiliar yet oddly comforting. My first instinct was to pull away, but a part of me hesitated, feeling a strange sense of safety I hadn’t expected. The light filtered through the curtains, bathing the room in soft hues, and I could feel his slow, steady breathing as he stirred awake beside me. His eyes fluttered open, meeting mine briefly before we both groaned in unison. It wasn’t irritation or frustration; it was more of an unspoken agreement to set aside whatever had happened the night before. Without exchanging a single word, we moved apart, a mutual understanding that today would start fresh as if yesterday’s events were a story meant to be rewritten.I slipped out of the blanket- not sure where it came from, the chill of the morning air hitting my skin, and began to stretch the stiffness from my body. Kaiser rolled onto his back, running a hand through his tousled hair, befo
[--Kaiser Volkov--]After Esmarie sobbed into my arms, her body trembling as if her emotions had drained every ounce of strength she had left, I let her stay there, holding her tightly. My shirt was damp from her tears, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to let go, not yet. She needed this moment, and, truth be told, so did I. There’s something about seeing someone you care about break down in front of you that makes you want to fight the entire world to make it right.She said some words to me, but it didn’t really feel like we were speaking about it. She had been focused on me rather than what I had revealed. God, I consider my luck turning. If not, there’s no reason for her to be in my arms instead of across the street screaming bloody murder at me.Once her breathing evened out and her sobs softened, I hesitated before speaking. I knew what I had to say would only add to the storm swirling in her mind, but I couldn’t keep it from her. Not now. Not when I was trying so damn hard to p
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I dropped to my knees, the weight of everything hitting me all at once. My legs buckled beneath me as if they couldn't support the burden of the truth Kaiser had just revealed. I clutched at his arms, fingers trembling as they gripped the fabric of his shirt. My chest heaved with ragged breaths, and I fought to keep the overwhelming emotions from spilling out all at once."I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. The words cracked as they left his lips, soft and almost hesitant. He didn’t move to embrace me right away, though I could feel the tension in his arms. His restraint was deliberate, his way of giving me the space I might need to process this. It was so him, but not him at the same time. Sometimes careful careful, sometimes he thinks of me first. And yet, his quietness only made it harder. It made me feel annoyed at myself for not being more pissed off at him.What is this weakness of an emotion?I shook as waves of emotion rolled through me—a
[--Esmarie Cruz--]I didn’t think it was possible for things in my life to go from bad to worse. I honestly didn’t think that was possible.There are a million things I expected to hear from Kaiser in my lifetime, but none of them were the words that just came out of his mouth. My breath caught, and before I knew it, tears streamed down my face, silent but unrelenting. Throughout my years with the Darkwood family, I’d been told that my mother had abandoned me. That she’d disappeared because she wanted nothing to do with me. Barry made sure I believed that. He’d drilled it into my mind that she was cruel and only loved herself and money, that she’d walked away without looking back.While most of that was true, turns out that he’s not just a sadistic bastard but he’s a lying bitch who had always wanted to keep me trapped.Now, hearing the truth—that Kaiser was the one who killed her because they made him do it—it shattered me. Completely. My chest ached, and I could barely see through m
[--Kaiser Volkov--]I drove to Martha's house late in the night, almost midnight, exhaustion clinging to me like a second skin. My bones ached from the day's relentless grind, and my mind was teetering between shutting down and spiraling out of control. As I pulled into the driveway, I spotted the faint glow of the living room lights through the curtains. It didn’t surprise me to find Esmarie awake, sitting on the floor with her twins, who were transfixed by whatever cartoon Martha had queued up on the TV. Their big, drooling smiles and bubbling laughter were a stark contrast to how drained I felt. It was oddly comforting—just for a moment, anyway.Martha’s house always smelled the same: a blend of lavender air freshener and whatever was baking in her oven earlier that day. Which might have been nothing since she cooked at my house. Her place always smells like there’s a new meal in the oven waiting to be brought out.Tonight, it smelled faintly of cinnamon. I stood in the doorway, wat
[--Kaiser Volkov--]I met up with the assassin I’d hired after sending Esmarie home with Martha. The meeting was held in a secluded alley just outside the pack, the kind of place where shadows seemed to linger a little longer and the air always smelled faintly of damp concrete and regret. The man, tall and broad-shouldered, wore a plain black jacket and a hood that obscured most of his face. Not that it mattered—we didn’t need formalities, not in this line of work.When he approached, he didn’t say a word, and neither did I. We both understood the weight of unspoken agreements. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a thick envelope, holding it out with a steady hand. I nodded as I took it from him, a brief acknowledgment passing between us. No gratitude, no farewells. Just business. He turned on his heel and disappeared down the darkened alley, his steps quiet but deliberate.Wolves like him kill for cash—efficient, detached, and dangerous. He wasn’t the type to do favors, but our