When dinner was ready, I gathered up all the courage I had within to face Toma even if I was too embarassed. I sort of lost my appetite from feeling too embarassed, but I still ate some of the sushi Toma made for us.
"Hey, uhm…" Toma suddenly spoke, looking like he's hesitating to tell me something. "…about uh, earlier."
"Y-Yeah?" Damn, is he really going to bring that up?
"Oh uh, I just wanted to say I'm s-sorry... sorry for making you feel uncomfortable." He looked down and had his left hand at the back of his neck. "I realized that I was too much from doing all that stuff to you just because you're my boyfriend now…"
"…"
"I-I swear I won't do things like that again. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything bad!" My body moved by itself and I just witnessed myself hugging Toma.
I felt sorry the instant he told me how sorry he was for what he did this morning. I really do
After classes, Toma wanted to bring me at some place. Even though there was a lot of work needed to be finished, I tagged along because he really wanted to be with me there. When we got at th3 place he was talking about, I find it really awesome since it has the view of the whole city."Woah, you can see everything from here." Looking at the view felt great. I could feel the fresh breeze on my face and I pretty much expect that my hair is already ruined by the wind."I know, right? This place looks great!""Yeah. Thanks for bringing me here." I told him."…that's nothing, I really wanted to bring you here anyway and, I kind of want to tell you something."Not that I wasn't expecting this, I'm just not very surprised of him suddenly saying that after bringing me at a place like this. I just grew curious of what he had to say. "What is it?"Toma takes me left hand and brought out a ri
As soon as we got back to our room, neither of us were uttering a word. All I could do was stare at Toma's back as he mind his own business. What he said earlier really bothered me, and I think that I'm still not quite prepared to do it with a guy… but it's not just any guy. It's Toma.When he got inside the bedroom, I was lost in my thoughts and unconsciously followed him there. As he noticed that I was behind him, I pushed him to the wall which made him looked so shock. "Y-Yuji? What are you…""Do you think I can really make you feel good?" I asked him.His face turned bright red. Even though he was taller, he felt so small as I held his wrists. Was it because he was slimmer than I am? "A-Are you… I… Y-Yuji!" He was so flustered that he couldn't form a proper sentence.I let go of his other wrist and had the hair on his face put aside, I wanted to get a clear view of his face. "I always wondered ever since… who's
We had a rough morning when we woke up, it was kinda awkward too since something happened between the two of us last night. As I sat at the side of the bed, Toma noticed some bruises on my back. "You've got a lot of bruises here… I guess I was too hard on your back." That was probably the cause of him digging his nails on my back from last night."It's fine. I think I was too hard on you as well, uhm, can y-you get up?" I asked.Toma looked embarassed about answering, but he still did. "Y-Yeah. I think I'm going to skip today.""Ah, I'm sorry about that." And I should remind myself not to do this kind of thing withToma during weekdays. I'm surely going to lend him all my notes and stuff. "It's alright. I'll just lay here and try to get some more sleep, heh.""Okay, but after I get back, you'll have to study all the notes I'm going to write for you." I told him, hoping he wouldn't slack off 'til later.
"Say, I sort of remember that you mentioned to me before that you used to be in a drama club when you were a high school student. Was that true?" He asked.The question reminded me of a grim past that I wanted to forget, but I didn't want to feel down just because of it. So I tried to answer it without thinking about the past too much. "Yeah… I used to love acting. I really liked to perform on stage before.""Really? What made you quit?""I uhh, I really can't talk about that." I told him."Oh, okay." He said, smiling. "I wish you joined our drama club too. It must be nice performing with you on stage.""Hahaha, I'm not really that great at acting though.""Well, that won't really matter since you'll learn to perform better if you keep on practicing.""T-That might be true." I started to feel a bit hazy. Being reminded of the past isn't really good for me… it wasn't
I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Glancing at my back, Tomakawa was there."Woaaah, you really look cool Yuji! Just like a real prince!" He looked really thrilled seeing me in this costume I'm wearing, though it annoyed me again with his two-syllabus-nickname."Again with calling me 'Yuji' huh? You're so lazy at calling me with my whole last name, that applies to other people as well." I told him.He chuckled. "Come on, it saves time if I'm calling people with short nicknames.""Yeah right. And fyi, I'm not a prince. I'm playing as Romeo in this play. It's Romeo and Juliet.""Hahaha I should be Juliet then." He said casually, surely he jested... right?"Weirdo. Then your fan girls will go crazy seeing you acting and crossdressing on stage."He pouted like he was really disappointed. "Man, it's really hard being popular.""As if! All you do is be yo
While the curtain closes as a sign of the end of the play, I could hear the audience starting to applause. It made me smile that the play is finally over. "It's done…" I muttered to myself.There's still the final bow of all the actors of the play, but Osumu rushed to my side to tell me something important. She looked so worried about something. "Yujiro, your dad.""W-What did he said?""Your dad said you need to rush to the hospital." In an instant, the image of my mother flashed in my mind. Without a second thought, I began to ran out of the school. Not even changing my costume. I suddenly regret the choice of becoming a part of the play, but… I believed in my mothers' words.The time I hesitated to take part in the play, I asked for her advise and she told me: "Wasn't it your dream to be an actor? You really loved to act on stage, so you should go and do it. I believe in you, Naozumi. And don't worry about me, I'll be fine."She acted strong infront
"…ji! Yujiro!" Toma's voice woke me up.And as I opened my eyes, I saw that we're already back at our room. I could feel my wet cheeks and that my body is already trembling. Toma looked really worried and pulled me closer to his chest. Was he holding me this whole time while I fainted?"I'm sorry for being loud, but I'm just too worried about you. You were shaking, and, and you started crying in your sleep.""It's alright, I was having a nightmare." I told him. Now that I'm with him, I felt a little relaxed."What made you be like that? It's been years since I last saw you act like that.""Well, I happen to have a little chat with Yuu earlier… he's actually a part of the drama club too and… he kinda triggered me to remember the past, again.""That's why we avoid him now, don't we?! You should really stop talking to that jerk." Toma looked pissed as he advised me that."But he wasn't even doing anything wrong, I'm the one with the problem… an
I decided to spend the weekend indoors. Going outside feels tiring at the moment and my boyfriend, Toma, completely agrees with me. "…so, do you want to do it all day or something?" He suddenly asked."PERVERT!" My hands threw the first thing I could grab at him. I bet that's what made him want to stay indoors with me today."Hahaha, I was kidding! Geez! I was actually going to do a bit of my unfinished homework yesterday, so I'll be at a corner studying." He told me.It kind of left me confused for a moment... shrugging off those thoughts, I'll just use my day off to relax since I'm done with all the work.Throwing myself on the bed, I closed my eyes so I could go back to sleep. But the littlest sounds prevents me from doing so.sfx: scratch, scratch*I looked at Toma who was scribbling notes at the corner of the room. He looked really serious at finishing his work, and he also looked like his having difficulties. I sighed at the sight of him, it
By the time the man finally left, mom even gave me loads of money so I could stay away from her. It was then I decided to cut ties with her. I was done dealing with her… "It was a mistake to stay here. I'm leaving." I never should've come back. "W-Wait!" Before mom could stop me, I quickly got to my room and brought all my stuff with me. "Toma, please! Please hear me out!" "…IT'S TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY! Don't even think that I'll ever forgive you." I told her while I was running down the stairs. She just kept pulling my stuff to make it more difficult to leave. "No, Toma! I can't—" "Don't stop me!" I glared at her, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again."
Nobody ever knows about it.I kept that very dark secret of mine all to myself. I can't even bother myself to tell my mom about what happened to me, I know she won't give a shit about it. And so, everything that I ever experienced from that man was written down on a journal. That was the only way I could vent all the stress and anger I had.While she was still on a relationship with that man, I would always hide from him so he won't be able to lay a finger on me. But there were times that he would sneak in my room just to make me suffer for his disgusting pleasure. He would often leave with a threat so I wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.I was really scared… no one was ever there for me. But instead of letting myself suffer even more, I try to make myself distracted when I'm out of the house.Y
We moved into a new neighborhood when I was at the age of eight. That's when I met Yuji, the guy who became my best friend… the guy who I came to like. And the one who I fell for.He became the person who I would run to whenever I'm at my worst. Yuji would always welcome me at his house, both his parents treating me like I was a part of their family. I really loved his company, it lets me feel all the things I lacked on my own family."Tomakawa, don't your parents worry if you spend the night here without telling them?" Auntie asked.I shook my head and gave my brightest smile. "They won't. Mommy said it's okay if it's at my best friend's house." It was a lie, and I was not guilty one bit. I don't really want to go home that night."Hmm, alright then."A
When I was about five years old, I can remember how my parents would argue all the time. It eventually led to physical violence, and sometimes I get hurt as well. It was really scary for a child to experience something like that from his own parents.If I remember well, the one who's most at fault for all the arguments was mom. Dad would always come home late and drunk, then mom will start to complain. They argue, fight, and mess up the house."Stop telling me what to do, woman!""I told you a million times already, haven't I?! Stop getting yourself drunk whenever you go home!""Shut up and lock yourself in a room. Seeing your face ruins my mood!""Why, you!… you should be the one locking yourself in a room! You're a wretched mess!"&nb
Since I was kicked out of school, the only place I can stay at was at my mother's house. It sickens me to go back there but I have no other choice. "Hm. And what do you think you're doing here?" Mom asked. Just when I arrived, I didn't expect to see her outside the house to water the plants. Usually, she fools with every man she brings home most of the time. "I'll be here for a few days, I'll leave as soon as I find another place to stay at." "Heh, I heard you were kicked out of school." "None of your business." I just ignored her comments and got inside the house. Seeing this place only reminded me of the past I always wished to forget. Every room, every corner… it was all too disturbing for me. After opening the lock on my room, it was just like how
That was it.Everything is over.I no longer have anything to do with him. When I got back from the hospital, I learned that Yuji's father had storm at my place and took all of Yuji's belonging. They said he'll transfer his son onto another school because of me, though he had never mentioned to the faculty the reasons. But rumors seem to have already spread because of Yuu."How disgusting! The school should expel him.""Is it really that guy?!""I heard he was sexually assaulting his roommate, that's why the father of the victim took away his son.""That fag is a scum!"Many people kept whispering behind my back as I walk on the hallways. I couldn't care less about what they s
As the sun rises, Toma immediately went to the hospital for Yuji. He hopes to see him conscious when he arrives, though it was unfortunate that he found Yuji still sleeping. He also discovered something worse, his worries on Yuji has double.Toma quickly calls for help and as the doctor arrived, things were explained to him. "…we have seen this through our observation on the patient last night. These tiny red spots you see on his skin is called petechiea. It's a symptom for many diseases. We're currently testing from which disease it comes from.""How come I was not told about this!? I—" the doctor cuts him off before he could throw a fit."We have already informed his father sir. We thought you must have been informed through him."Toma was stunned to know that Yuji's father didn't told hi
"…Yuji." Toma muttered while he was sitting on a chair near Yuji's bed. When Yuji was admitted to the hospital, he stayed beside him the whole time after he settled things with Yuu at the police station. He also informed Yuji's dad about the situation because he needed extra hands on this.Toma can't keep his eyes off Yuji's broken hands. It pains him to see that it was wrapped in thick bandages because the doctor told him that every bone in his hands were broken into bits. This would mean that Yuji won't be able to use his hands anymore, he can imagine how devastated Yuji will be when he finds out about his hand.'That damn Yuu. I'll get him for this.' He suddenly wished he beaten up Yuu just as bad as how Yuji was beaten—no, he wanted to double the pain, because aside from Yuji he was also hurt to see the one he love like this.Th
Toma was greatly bothered when Yuji got to the campus earlier than him. It made him doubt that Yuji might have been troubled by something, and it annoyed the hell out of him that he can't figure what it was."Haa. I lost interest attending first class." He muttered.And so he spent most of his time laying on his bed, reminiscing about the cheerful times he had with Yuji. Now that Yuji's gone to school, he never felt this lonely before. He tries to find comfort in every memory he shared with Yuji.When he got bored of it, he decided to have lunch at his favorite restaurant. But on his way there, he encountered a familiar face, though he wasn't noticed by this other fellow. It was Yuu. One of his acquaintances, though he was mostly ignored by Yuu because he seemed more interested in Yuji."Wait…" b