My Saturday morning feels like shit. Drinking too much last night was the greatest regret of my life. I found Toma laughing at me because of my bad drinking habits. "Dude, didn't we both swear not to drink too much anymore?"
"That was my b-bad, I forgot." I feel like my headache's going to kill me right now.
"Want me to buy you some pills for your hangover?"
"Mmm, yes please."
"Okay, I'll be right back." After Toma got out, I had a nasty feeling in my stomach that made me threw up in the bathroom. And now that I smell like puke, I had no choice but to clean myself. I couldn't wash myself properly so I just got myself wet on the shower, thankfully it got the horrible smell off.
When I got out of the bathroom, Toma got back in time as well. "Yuji, I got your pil-waaah!" As soon as he laid his eyes on me, he turns red and looks away.
I had one of my eyebrow raised on him. "The fuck you
When I got to the class, the first thing I wanted to do was to ask Xia for her reason for not attending the party. Now that I got a good look at her, she looked pale and bothered. "Are you alright?""Oh, uh yeah." She didn't even noticed I got in the class. Xia must be thinking too deeply."Hey, aren't you going to tell me why you didn't come last Friday?"She forced a smile on her face. "I was just sick."I placed my forehead on hers so I can check her temperature. "You seem fine now." Her pale face suddenly turns red and she pushes me away."Dummy! I'm fine now!""But you don't look good right now." I told her.She placed her fingertips at her temples to massage it and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I still feel sick somehow but I'll get better later." She said.I took off my jacket and gave it to her. "Here, you need it more than I do."
I wasn't able to meet up with Xia after classes. I tried to contact her but she won't answer. As I got back to my dorm, I found Toma was already there and playing some video games again. "Hey!" He greeted.I wasn't in a good mood so I just ignored his annoying happy face and stared at my phone, waiting for Xia's reply."…is there something wrong Yuji?""It's none of your business. Go back playing your games."He pouts and even pried more. "Oh come on dude, you can tell me anything."I let out a groan and laid myself down on Toma's bed while still holding on my phone. "Xia's been acting weird differently this morning.""Mmhmm, and?" He lays down beside me, taking a peek on my phone."And she said she couldn't attend the party because she was sick.""Oh.""She still look sick today, and I'm getting worried.""Why?"
"Huuu… it hurts." Toma cried. He got a black eye from my punch yesterday. I feel bad for him, but that wouldn't even happen if he wasn't so stupid."Don't be such a baby.""I'll stop if you take responsibility for this." He points at his eye."Like hell I will, you deserve that well."He frowns at my response. Once I got everything ready, I was good to go to school. And when I was about to get out of the room, Toma catches up with me. "Wait! Don't forget about me.""This violates the rules of our three month distancing agreement, you should let me go first." I reminded him."Huh? Are you really still going on about that? You didn't even set up rules for that agreement.""Don't you have common sense? You know what distancing is, right? So stop following me.""Hmph, whatever." It worries me that there's only a month left to this agreement, and Toma ha
I went straight back to my dorm after that talk. I don't want to ask her reasons why because I feel like it'll hurt me more. But the moment she said those words kept repeating on my mind, and it's making me feel crazy."We should break up."But why did she looked like that? The moment she said those words with a ver cold tone, I could see it in her eyes that she didn't want it to happen either. Though things still ended up that way.Then I started to tell myself that I won't cry just because of a stupid break up. Our relationship wasn't so serious anyway, and I know myself that relationships made on a whim can end in a whim… just like my relationship with Xia.…why though?Why do I feel so bothered by it? Why can't I talk without having my voice shaking? Why can't I stop thinking about her? Why does it feels so tight in my chest?As I closed my eyes, all I could see was Xia. And all
Toma ran out of the room trying to hold back the tears that were trying to reveal his true feelings. And when he was finally able to hide himself well, he shed his tears continuously."Damn it, damn it!" Seeing Yuji so sad and depressed about his break up that it hurts like hell for him. He didn't see it coming. Toma was confident that Yuji will shrug this short term relationship since it didn't look so serious.Toma always thought that Yuji was only fooling around with Xia, and with his discovery of Yuji's sincere feelings, the picture of Yuji and Xia together haunts and scares him.Even though he's greatly hurt, he reminded himself that his plan isn't finished yet. "…right, this is still the beginning." There will come a day that Yuji will no longer look at other girls, and only look at Toma.He thinks that to motivate himself and uplift his mood. Then he brings out his phone to listen to Yuji's voice. He had a re
Toma suddenly disappeared out of my sight when classes were over. I tried searching for him only to have my eyes stumble upon the sight of Xia talking to the guy I've seen with Toma last time. I immediately hid myself nearby and happen to hear their conversation."I don't know, I… I just." Xia's voice was trembling."I'm really sorry about before. After some time I realize that I'm still inlove with you." What the, is he Xia's ex-boyfriend or something?"Haven't we agreed not to see each other ever again!""Come on Xia, I really love you.""Stop forcing yourself on me!" I wanted to interfere so badly so I can drag her away from that man until the guy said something that shocked me."Fine, I won't force you but you have to let me see my son. You've been receiving support but you never let me see him anymore.""That was part of the agreement!-" I couldn't listen any l
Toma bought an ice cream bucket and brought out some games when we got back to the dorm. He's really pulling out a great effort to make me feel better. When I got to wash up and feel refreshed, there wasn't anything blocking me from talking anymore."…thanks." I told him. I'm a little embarassed to make him go through all of this.He just smiled at me while giving me a spoon. "Hey, this is the least I can do for you. I mean, you've been looking out for me since we were kids so I got to do this.""Right. I'm just not used to this, I'm supposed to be the responsible one.""You're still the responsible one though. You just happen to have your heart broken and made yourself like this.""Y-Yeah." Then I got a spoon full of ice cream and stuffed my mouth.Then he just laughs at me and pinched my nose like I'm some little kid. It pisses me a bit how he's acting like an older brother. "You
Toma helped me a lot to make things better for me. I really appreciated how he would always show and give me things that can uplift my mood. Though these days, I'm not so bothered with seeing Xia anymore.Processing her past and being in a relationship with her recently suddenly feels like it's no big deal anymore. Still I get the unfair and disgusted feeling towards her when I'm in a bad mood, so I just distract myself whenever I get those thoughts.I was having lunch alone at the cafeteria which I didn't mind at all, sometimes I'd like to be alone rather than filling my memories with Toma's face everyday. "…hey Yuji!" Hino suddenly greeted me. It's been a while since we got to talk."Yo.""You mind if I sit here?""Sure, be my guest."As he sat, we began to catch up and talk about some school stuff. Nothing interesting at all-"You guys broke up!?" He was so surprised to hear it.
By the time the man finally left, mom even gave me loads of money so I could stay away from her. It was then I decided to cut ties with her. I was done dealing with her… "It was a mistake to stay here. I'm leaving." I never should've come back. "W-Wait!" Before mom could stop me, I quickly got to my room and brought all my stuff with me. "Toma, please! Please hear me out!" "…IT'S TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY! Don't even think that I'll ever forgive you." I told her while I was running down the stairs. She just kept pulling my stuff to make it more difficult to leave. "No, Toma! I can't—" "Don't stop me!" I glared at her, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again."
Nobody ever knows about it.I kept that very dark secret of mine all to myself. I can't even bother myself to tell my mom about what happened to me, I know she won't give a shit about it. And so, everything that I ever experienced from that man was written down on a journal. That was the only way I could vent all the stress and anger I had.While she was still on a relationship with that man, I would always hide from him so he won't be able to lay a finger on me. But there were times that he would sneak in my room just to make me suffer for his disgusting pleasure. He would often leave with a threat so I wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.I was really scared… no one was ever there for me. But instead of letting myself suffer even more, I try to make myself distracted when I'm out of the house.Y
We moved into a new neighborhood when I was at the age of eight. That's when I met Yuji, the guy who became my best friend… the guy who I came to like. And the one who I fell for.He became the person who I would run to whenever I'm at my worst. Yuji would always welcome me at his house, both his parents treating me like I was a part of their family. I really loved his company, it lets me feel all the things I lacked on my own family."Tomakawa, don't your parents worry if you spend the night here without telling them?" Auntie asked.I shook my head and gave my brightest smile. "They won't. Mommy said it's okay if it's at my best friend's house." It was a lie, and I was not guilty one bit. I don't really want to go home that night."Hmm, alright then."A
When I was about five years old, I can remember how my parents would argue all the time. It eventually led to physical violence, and sometimes I get hurt as well. It was really scary for a child to experience something like that from his own parents.If I remember well, the one who's most at fault for all the arguments was mom. Dad would always come home late and drunk, then mom will start to complain. They argue, fight, and mess up the house."Stop telling me what to do, woman!""I told you a million times already, haven't I?! Stop getting yourself drunk whenever you go home!""Shut up and lock yourself in a room. Seeing your face ruins my mood!""Why, you!… you should be the one locking yourself in a room! You're a wretched mess!"&nb
Since I was kicked out of school, the only place I can stay at was at my mother's house. It sickens me to go back there but I have no other choice. "Hm. And what do you think you're doing here?" Mom asked. Just when I arrived, I didn't expect to see her outside the house to water the plants. Usually, she fools with every man she brings home most of the time. "I'll be here for a few days, I'll leave as soon as I find another place to stay at." "Heh, I heard you were kicked out of school." "None of your business." I just ignored her comments and got inside the house. Seeing this place only reminded me of the past I always wished to forget. Every room, every corner… it was all too disturbing for me. After opening the lock on my room, it was just like how
That was it.Everything is over.I no longer have anything to do with him. When I got back from the hospital, I learned that Yuji's father had storm at my place and took all of Yuji's belonging. They said he'll transfer his son onto another school because of me, though he had never mentioned to the faculty the reasons. But rumors seem to have already spread because of Yuu."How disgusting! The school should expel him.""Is it really that guy?!""I heard he was sexually assaulting his roommate, that's why the father of the victim took away his son.""That fag is a scum!"Many people kept whispering behind my back as I walk on the hallways. I couldn't care less about what they s
As the sun rises, Toma immediately went to the hospital for Yuji. He hopes to see him conscious when he arrives, though it was unfortunate that he found Yuji still sleeping. He also discovered something worse, his worries on Yuji has double.Toma quickly calls for help and as the doctor arrived, things were explained to him. "…we have seen this through our observation on the patient last night. These tiny red spots you see on his skin is called petechiea. It's a symptom for many diseases. We're currently testing from which disease it comes from.""How come I was not told about this!? I—" the doctor cuts him off before he could throw a fit."We have already informed his father sir. We thought you must have been informed through him."Toma was stunned to know that Yuji's father didn't told hi
"…Yuji." Toma muttered while he was sitting on a chair near Yuji's bed. When Yuji was admitted to the hospital, he stayed beside him the whole time after he settled things with Yuu at the police station. He also informed Yuji's dad about the situation because he needed extra hands on this.Toma can't keep his eyes off Yuji's broken hands. It pains him to see that it was wrapped in thick bandages because the doctor told him that every bone in his hands were broken into bits. This would mean that Yuji won't be able to use his hands anymore, he can imagine how devastated Yuji will be when he finds out about his hand.'That damn Yuu. I'll get him for this.' He suddenly wished he beaten up Yuu just as bad as how Yuji was beaten—no, he wanted to double the pain, because aside from Yuji he was also hurt to see the one he love like this.Th
Toma was greatly bothered when Yuji got to the campus earlier than him. It made him doubt that Yuji might have been troubled by something, and it annoyed the hell out of him that he can't figure what it was."Haa. I lost interest attending first class." He muttered.And so he spent most of his time laying on his bed, reminiscing about the cheerful times he had with Yuji. Now that Yuji's gone to school, he never felt this lonely before. He tries to find comfort in every memory he shared with Yuji.When he got bored of it, he decided to have lunch at his favorite restaurant. But on his way there, he encountered a familiar face, though he wasn't noticed by this other fellow. It was Yuu. One of his acquaintances, though he was mostly ignored by Yuu because he seemed more interested in Yuji."Wait…" b