I can’t think of anyone it could be with Aiden except Tim. I feel a rush of anger at his presumption. He’s stolen my role. It is my place to lead my Mate there. Did he think that I wouldn’t? That’s Tim, though. No patience, unless it’s for horses.
I can’t just go back to my bed, not now. I find my slippers and a dressing-gown, and tiptoe down to the kitchen. There is a piece of paper with my name on it, lying on the kitchen table. I’m sure of what it will say before I even unfold it, but the last two words catch my breath. I don’t think either of us have said those words aloud yet, not to each other.
I sink into a chair, the paper in my hands. My mind is no longer in the room. It is out at the valley where the other half of my whole is facing his future.
It was dawn, the second time I stood in the mouth of the valley. I was clutching Toby’s hand, trying to lend him courage. We hadn’t t
“Aiden!” Sarah’s scream knifes through the air, the caves throwing the sound back in a chorus of loss. “Aiden!” “Sarah, you can’t go in there. You mustn’t!” “Let go of me.” There’s the smack of flesh on flesh. “Let me go. Aiden!” “Sarah, stop!” “Aiden!” The lamps are dark and cold, but she throws herself blindly into the cave mouth, eyes too blinded with tears to see even as the flames flicker to life. Her scream is no word at all now, just a wail as she runs. I catch her. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I’m here.” The sense of her fills me, overwhelming grief abruptly replaced by an equally vast tide of relief and joy. “Aiden,” she says again, her hands seeking me out in the darkness. “I couldn’t feel you any more. You weren’t there. You’d gone. Oh, God, I’m a mess. I’m so glad you’re safe. Are you okay? Are you… you don’t feel hurt. What are you wearing?” “I’m not hurt. Come on. Let’s get back to where there’s more light. Y
I allow myself to be ever so slightly smug about it when Tony also gives Tim a reaming over having taken Aiden off to the valley. Most of the attention is on Aiden, though, and he is embarrassed and a little shy about that. Regardless of the rights and wrongs of who should or should not have done what, the outcome of Aiden’s success is that nobody doubts him any more. He is enfolded into the family, and any further questions are for understanding, not for proof of his intentions. The kids don’t have nearly long enough with their new brother to satisfy them before they are packed off to school, from their point of view. From the adult’s side of things, it is plenty long enough to be watching the twins with hawk-like eyes, to be sure neither of them try to use Aiden’s new tokens. He asks, rather hesitantly, if he might leave his sword and shield here at Blackmarsh, because he doesn’t think the security at his apartment is good enough. The rest of us all look at each other, and
The Laws and traditions have guided werewolves for hundreds of years. Anyone raised with them has generations of experience to help them make decisions, if things aren’t easy or obvious. If I were a proper werewolf, my father would say, then I’d already be calling myself Alpha of Blackmarsh, and I’d be meeting the visitors as ruler on my own Territory. My Luna would be by my side, lending her feminine touch to negotiations. “The Alpha guides minds and the Luna guides hearts,” my mother always said. With the constant wars, it was more like the Alpha being an iron fist and the Luna being a velvet glove to make it less painful to obey. If I was a proper werewolf I wouldn’t have a human Mate, who hasn’t a clue about werewolf traditions but has very firm views about the position of females in society. I have a short walk to try and persuade her to take the role I think will work best here. “They’re werewolves, they’ll have expectations about our roles,” I tell her, trying
“Um… we thought… you could be our Alpha?” I know right away that Zac’s question is not one Aiden wants to hear, and so I speak up. “I’m sorry, I know this is a difficult situation for you, but we both of us have responsibilities in London at the moment.” Being the sympathetic one is not something that comes easily to me, although the wash of gratitude and pride I can feel from Aiden makes me feel twenty feet tall. Next time, if there is a next time, he can be the good cop. “The vampire problem is more than just Walther Sutcliffe,” Aiden adds. “I need to be hunting more than one of them down, not spending all my time here. Don’t worry, I’m not the best fighter Blackmarsh has. There won’t be any shortage of protection.” “Can’t we just tell people Aiden’s our Alpha, to stop Robert and the others coming back, ‘til we can find someone strong enough?” pipes up the talkative teenager, and the pleased reaction I’ve been sensing from Aiden a
I should feel happy that things at Blackmarsh have been sorted out with Badger’s Den. I should at least feel relieved. I should feel proud that I’ve proved myself to Sarah’s family. Family present and past. Instead I feed numb. Numb, and tired. Blackmarsh has reminded me that I can never go home. Because they believe I’m dead, I’m cut off from Shining Water, an Exile even though I wasn’t made one in the usual way. It has to be that way, or someone would realise that I’m still alive. It hurts that I can’t even feel the loss of the mental connection, because it’s one I never had. I can punish others by taking away from them something that I never had. They asked me to be Alpha. They. Asked me. To be their Alpha. I almost laughed in their faces. I almost cried. I can never be Alpha, not a proper one. How could I? I had to keep my feelings buried, and come up with an excuse that wasn’t ‘hey, guys, thanks, but actually I’m a freak and not a proper werewolf at all
Waking up with my head on Aiden’s shoulder is not quite enough to compensate for the back-ache and cricked neck I have as a result of sleeping so long in the car. The journey has taken far longer than it should have done, because of motorway closures following an accident. It leaves us no time now to talk. Maybe our kiss would have become something more, but Aiden will be late for class. I make him promise to sleep at his place tonight, so he gets some proper rest.Hughes drives me on home after dropping Aiden off. I’m not sleepy any more, and the rumbling of the car is the sort of white noise that’s good for thinking. I feel as if I have had no time to draw breath since before the polo match, and I know, at some point, that I will have to have a good talking-to with myself.I have always been one to think before acting. Instincts are primitive things, not well suited to the complexities of modern human life. We are predisposed to believe things that
The room beyond the door’s pretty much the same as everywhere else I’ve seen in the building, except, right away, I notice that there’s no windows. The only way out is the door I came in by. Mr Tail-coat Guy’s probably waiting right outside it. There’s a fireplace laid for a fire, but this one is not lit, and in front of it two men are standing. I look more closely, and change that to two male vampires. One of them is blonde, a sportswear model type. The other is naturally darker skinned, because I don’t think vampires get sun-tans, and looks like a boxer. Neither of them can be Cavendish, unless he’s bleached his hair since Sarah met him. Both are in bland suits. Probably bodyguards. There’s a few chairs around the room, more well-stuffed, spindly-legged armchairs that look shabby and expensive at the same time. The rug in front of the floor is… I sniff… yes, the rug is an actual tiger skin. The heads of a dozen stags stare down accusingly at me from the walls. Ther
This is the National Gallery, I think. I can’t remember why we decided to come. Aiden’s hand is warm in mine as we wander through the corridors. Brian never did hold hands in public. Cartoon sketches fill every ornate and gilded frame, splashy and incomplete. Around the next corner should be the portrait gallery. When we turn to look, every painting is Cavendish, spray-painted onto the walls. “It’s okay,” Aiden says. “He knows you’re mine now. You’ll be safe. Look, do you like them? I painted them myself.” Cavendish’s eyes are everywhere, staring at me. I remember those eyes, looking through me, snaring my mind and my heart with their gaze. I wait for them to draw my soul out and bind me to him, to entice me to dance willingly to his whims and into his arms. I hate myself for the longing I feel, for wanting the freedom of giving myself up completely into the will of another. It feels as if I have walked through a cold shower when nothing happens. The eyes are