Starting Afresh

Flashback: The night Cara found out she was pregnant...

By the time he was done, Cara had her mouth wide open, staring at him with pure dread as she reconsidered if waiting for the raging man in front of her was the right choice.

Adonis exhaled heavily, then he looked down at her, and all traces of anger dispersed.

His gaze showed everything and more. 

He had decided to heal and bare himself before her. He was letting her know that this was it for him. Love might be a difficult emotion for him, but he was willing to try; he wasn't going to run away anymore. They didn't need access to an end to have a new beginning, but it was what they both wanted.

A month to heal.

A month to grow.

A month to start afresh.

He was letting her know that she wouldn't wait too long. 

Maybe it was worth it after all. Their relationship was one of a kind. They were doing everything backwards, but she didn't care. As long as it helped them grow. 

She wasn't going to let him down again. It was time to put the lingering voice on the back bench.

Her lips curled in a smile.

"So we're starting afresh now? No more secrets or lies?"

It was just for a millisecond, but she saw his stoic expression crack. Cara raised an eyebrow at him.

"Adonis, no more secrets, right?"

He turned away.

"It doesn't matter. It's not really a secret."

"Oh no, you don't! Not after berating me and hurling various words just because I wanted you dead when I hated you. You had better start speaking." She pinned him with an intent stare.

Adonis blinked.

"You wanted me dead?" 

"Obviously, why do you think I worked with Carlo, but we're past that! It's your turn now. Spit it out."

He rose to his full height, giving her a hard look, trying to look menacing. Cara eyed him with a look that said, 'Really?'

"That doesn't work on me anymore. Speak, now."

Caught in the act, he smirked then sighed in resignation. Luca's words about loving her the right way crossed his mind, and he felt the guilt weigh him down.

It was a weird feeling.

To feel guilt for anything he had done, that is. To Adonis, his ways were always right, but somehow, his rules never applied to Cara.

This is what loving someone is all about.

A voice piped up in his head.

He bit down on his lower lip, pulling on a resolved expression as he took Cara's hand in his, leading her to the bed. 

It was better he had her sitted for what she was about to hear.

"There's something you need to know. I'll understand if you get mad and want to leave, but hear me out completely."

She threw him a sceptical look, nodding in encouragement, and he announced.

"Your father wasn't your biological father."

****

Adonis watched Cara take in all the information he had just divulged. Compared to his expectations, she was taking it well.

He squeezed her hand in his tightly, giving her much-needed support.

"I..." she croaked. "I don't know what to say. Honestly, I'm confused." A sob racked through her. "Do you think there's something wrong with me? Why does it seem like only bad things happen? But they were such loving and caring parents. I never felt unwanted. Why would they do that to me?" She cried.

He helplessly watched. He didn't have answers to her questions, and her tears were making him awkward.

How was he to comfort her? What was he to say?

"Who are my birth parents?" She choked out between tears.

"I'm yet to find out. For some reason, all information from before the time he took you in had been cleared."

Cara wiped her wet cheeks.

"What they did to me was very bad and unreasonable, but I don't think I can hate my parents. Especially my mother. It might have been a show and may be because of their gains, yet I never felt it." She eyed Adonis. 

"You, on the other hand, took decisions into your hands and killed the only person I could've gotten closure from. You had planned to use me from the very start?" 

Adonis waved her off.

"Look on the bright side; I didn't have to make use of that plan. Antonio made it easier." 

"Are you seriously trying to comfort me right now?"

He gave her a tired look.

"Is it working?" 

"No!" Cara cried out. "You killing my father shouldn't have been an option."

"He was a bastard!" 

"My bastard to kill, not yours." She argued. "You need to work on your people skills. You're not always in charge of every decision. People's lives have value." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from him.

"Maybe the month break was needed. I don't think I want to see you right now." 

His lips pulled into a thin line as he rose to his feet.

"I could've decided not to say a word, but I did knowing you might not approve of my ways. I am not like the men out there. The things I do may not be pretty in your sight, but I do them for my family. To protect the people I love—I'll do it to protect you. If I get to live that day again, I'll do it all over. The only different thing is that I'll do it myself because he hurt the one I love." 

Each statement he made caused Cara to feel like she was asking for too much, but was she?

"But it doesn't have to be that way..." she whispered. "It's all you've ever known, and I can't just ask you to change overnight, but I also can't get rid of the guilt within me. He might've been a bastard, but I'm not one. I just think that the decision should've been mine to make."

She had decided to love a mafia man. She knew of his ways before she fell for him.

So why was she hurting now?

Adonis may not have gone about it the right way, but that was the only way he knew how to. She coukd make him know that there are better ways to get things done that what he's accustomed to.

Just like how he did... now it was her turn to let go. 

He made a move to leave, but she held him back by the hand.

"If I'm going to be with you, I want to be able to make my own choices. I do not want to be controlled. I know it's in your nature, but can we find common ground?"

Her sad eyes pierced into his empty ones.

"We've decided to start all over. We can also put this behind us." 

Adonis felt his heart squeeze in his chest.

He didn't think he could abandon his identity for love; yes, he wanted to submit, but letting go of everything he believed in just to keep Cara by his side was too much. At least to him.

He couldn't do it.

But she wasn't asking for that.

Cara's words caused something to stir up within him. She wasn't asking him to change who he was. All she wanted was a compromise. 

Who was he to say no? 

He forcefully pulled her up into a tight embrace, tucking his head between her small nape.

"I love you." 

At this point, space or not, he'd be damned if he let this woman slip away from him.

Cara let out a small laugh as she wrapped her hand around him.

"I still haven't forgiven you. I want to know who my real parents are."

He hugged her tighter.

"Ogni tuo desiderio è un ordine, Cara. Ogni tuo desiderio è un ordine. (Your wish is my command, Cara. Your wish is my command.)"