V. The Dream and the Discerner

As what Raeya expected, Jin was always waiting.

They were both standing on the white void, just like earlier when Raeya was about to be eaten. This power of his was something–a true gift of the Shore that only he possessed. There were others who could also open this dimension but that was all they could do. Jin was the only known one who could use it as a different solid space and include other people.

"You okay now?" Jin asked.

Raeya smiled slightly and nodded. To think that he still worried about her just as a true friend would after all these years, Raeya was feeling unworthy. He had been that way since they were kids. He was her original protector, assigned to her by tradition, the ancients, and the clan. She wasn’t sure how the selection process was, but one factor was because they were close in age. Jin was just a year older than her. His physique might have changed but his attitude never did.

Until now, even in her sleep, he always found ways to communicate. Sweet.

"Yeah, I told you so. Ryder did come."

"Late."

"But at least he came... for me."

But her tone was not so convincing. Raeya knew it herself. She was just saying that out of defense. In reality, Ryder should have come earlier if he really wanted to and he didn’t. He did come but with his existing position, he looked like a boss that was late in his own meeting that he had strictly set. 

Jin sighed and looked at her sentimentally with his blue eyes. His look pierced through her, reaching for her heart. It was as if his eyes were trying to find something that wasn't there. It made her wince, knowing that he still cared.

"As long as you're fine, maybe I'll stop blaming Ryder. For now."

"Good to hear that."

Jin looked like a proper grown-up already. When they were younger, he was always fully covered with his white robes which were the traditional clothes of the Quohora family. But as they grew older, he had discarded his long clothings and started to dress normally---shirts in place of sheers, shoes in place of sandals, and the like. But he still kept his hair long and fashioned it in a way that made him look like a neat delinquent.

Their families go way back as far as history could recall. During the First Age, the Shore did its job of letting energy flow freely into the planet. As the guardian of the humans, it was in-charge of protecting everything whether it was living or not. Imagine blue and green auras everywhere, that was what our land looked before, their elders would often tell. They said that even though natural disasters plaqued the planet, the Shore always restored things.

Until a disaster came that shook the Shore itself--a calamity that it couldn't reverse because it was made by man, not by nature.

For centuries, the Shadows ran the planet and made people suffer. Since the Shore couldn't do anything about it, it decided to open up to the humans, the only ones who could clean the mess that they made.

One family was chosen--the Rigiddin.

Raeya was privileged to be born into a family that could naturally access the Shore, unlike others who need training. But the Rigiddins couldn't have made it this far if not for the Quohoras who always served as their right-hands. Over time, the Shore granted the Quohora family natural access to its power also because of the contract that they made. The Rigiddin and the Quohora was the first Khenealm contract–a contract that has been passed on to many generations until Raeya broke it.

Raeya could feel that things would get awkward if all they did was smile and stare at each other.

"Uhm, Jin, how are things at the castle? Is my brother– the chief, I mean, well?"

Jin did his habit of inserting his hands in his pockets when he was weighing a situation. Because of that, she already knew that something was up. Why would Jin hesitate to tell her?

Her brother had a thing for quickly making friends with outsiders. Because of that, he was a constant target of the other mountain clans who didn’t approve of him accepting foreign guests. Their enemies always make it seem like he was forming secret alliances with the outside world when in reality, they were just jealous. They could only badmouth him from afar because Raius Rigiddin was someone people don’t directly attack. 

But if something major happened, they should have informed Raeya.

"The chieftain is well,” Jin’s reply eased her overthinking. “Your sister Richi is also doing fine as the Rakasha at Rokohorta Academy. It’s your younger brother that you need to worry about. He is showing signs of manhood, you know, the usual revellings of a youth."

Raeya raised one of her eyebrows. Usual revellings? Since when did becoming undisciplined become common in the Rigiddin household?

"What do you mean by 'revellings'? As far as I know, Rex is not the type to cause trouble. I hope he's getting spanked."

Jin chuckled a little---his blue eyes amused. It was his usual expression whenever he dealt with guests at the castle. Raeya saw him do it many times especially when the visitors tried to sweet talk the chief. Jin would smirk and laugh lightly like he knew every little secret they had, earning his place to be the chief's faithful right hand and his title known throughout Khenealm as the Discerner. And why he was amused at her question, Raeya didn't understand. 

Did she get it wrong?

"Chill. It's nothing serious. Rex just wants to explore more and wants to fight on the battlefield. He's on his first road."

"Huh?" Raeya pressed.

"Every boy goes through that path. At one point in our lives, we dream to be wild and we want to feel the wind blow in our direction. It's a critical moment, especially for him since he's a Rigiddin. But as you know, the chieftain is restraining him because of his power. It's normal, really."

She had a vague idea of what Jin really meant. According to the elders, it was Rex who was born with the strongest Shore power among the four of them. Because of that, he rarely got sick and when he did, it was always gone in an instant. He was the total opposite of Raeya who was born with a weak body. Rex was already an adventurer ever since. If her brother was setting boundaries around him, it would be natural for him to retaliate.

"But the revellings you mentioned...?"

"Oh that. At first, he started talking back harshly against the elders so he was sent to the wilderness to learn his place. And he did. But after a couple of weeks, he suddenly burned the forest surrounding the castle and he was forced to plant two hundred Bon saplings."

Raeya let out a sigh. Usual revellings of a youth, eh? She did some of them, too. It was a normal stage of everyone’s lives.

"Chief Raius just ignored all of these at first and let the council deal with him. But when Rex suddenly didn't come home for three nights without any reason, well, it was the last straw. The chief lost his temper."

Oh, was what Raeya could manage to think. She didn't have to ask Jin what punishment the chief gave to Rex. The chief was her very own brother, so she knew how scary he was under his usual mask of calmness. Especially at home.

"I think this is Rex' first time to witness the chief's wrath as a brother. So maybe it's a good thing for him, too."

That was all Raeya could say. If she was still in the castle and Rex would run to her for help, she wouldn't even dare to. She would just watch Rex be 'tortured'. That's what people would normally call it but in their household, it was called 'retribution'---the Rigiddin style of disciplining.

No matter how much you will hate me, this is all for your benefit. Life is not a fairy tale where every mistake can still have a happy ending but life is a battlefield where any acts of foolishness could send you to the grave, were her brother’s words.

She clearly remembered them when she once received retribution from him, too. What could have been Rex' reaction?

"Hey, what's wrong? You're suddenly looking too pale."

Raeya shook her head. How many years had already passed. She could not let herself be chained. She had already broken free of that thanks to Ryder. It's no use being afraid of something that doesn't exist anymore.

But when she tried to shift her eyes away to distract herself, a cold touch crept up to her skin. She felt a shiver, like an invisible snake was slowly coiling itself around her shoulders. Raeya tried to work her mind for a conversation but she suddenly had a hard time breathing. She felt cramped inside like some part of her was suffocating. Raeya tried to focus on Jin that was speaking in front of her, but somehow, she couldn't hear. His lips were just moving. He was asking something like 'What's wrong?'

And then, that scene struck her.

Raeya opened her mouth and stammered something. A knot of dread unrolled inside of her and slowly spread to her nerves, paralyzing her. One moment she could still see Jin but the next she couldn't feel him anymore. The white void was getting darker like layers of reality were being unfolded in front of her.

It was just for a second or two but it was enough for Raeya to remember it all. Everything--- the creaking chains, the bloody altar, the feast, and the Hall of Hamad the Headhunter...

Just as she was about to enter into the darkness, Jin gently placed his hand on her shoulder and the memory vanished in a blink of an eye.

"Raeya, you're holding it again."

Raeya's eyes grew big. She looked at herself and true enough, her hand was on her chest. The place where she was stabbed...She immediately withdrew her hand.

"I---I'm sorry. I just... I remembered..."

"I know. Retribution, right?"

Raeya flinched at the word. Even if it was only by a little, it was clear that she was still affected. She remembered the time when she committed her 'mistake' in running away with Ryder. Their parents died when they were seven and her brother's instruction was to wait for her time to take revenge but she was fresh from grief. 

So when she discovered that she and Ryder both had power, she immediately decided to fight and Ryder promised to help her. She was young and didn't fully understand what she was doing so she was also surprised when lights started to envelope both of them on that fateful night–a clear sign that the Shore honored their words. She didn't realize back then that she had broken a tradition by just making a promise to Ryder.

The price of her ignorance was of course, retribution. She accepted it because she knew that nothing could recompense for the tradition that she just broke. Her brother only intended for her to be locked in one of the gates of the Shore. However, something messed with the chants and she was transported to the dark side of the Shore where every kind of evil thing was restored. It was there where she met with a supposed-to-bed dead murderer. She was thrown into the hall of Hamad, the headhunter.

Now, dread filled her in frustration to know that she hasn't totally moved on. She gripped Jin's clothes. It wasn’t entirely her fault, nor of her brother. 

The Shore was described by the priests as ‘the special dimension with a thousand doors’. The doors were divided into two categories–black and white. Although they weren’t literal doors, the Shore had its own places where it would store whatever it was that it was absorbing, whether it was good or bad. The hall of Hamad the Headhunter, based on the books, was a famous door where the Shore placed criminals.

According to the chief, he never intended to put Raeya there. He was just about to send her to a more subtle place where the souls of the first Rigiddins rested for her to ask for forgiveness that she broke the tradition. But in his anger, he opened the wrong door.

"Please don't ever mention this to the chief. I don't want him of all people to know that I still... I'm still..."

Desperation was clear in her voice. Jin was taken aback by her reaction. He hadn't expected her to be this shaken just by that word.

"It's okay. Rest assured, this will not reach the chief's ears. For now, just sleep and replenish your strength. I’ve kept you in this dream for long enough. ."

But Raeya tightened her grip. She didn't want their conversation to end. 

I'm pretty shaken up, Jin. This is where I need you the most, she thought.

Upon realizing her thoughts, guilt invaded her nerves. All feelings of wanting to be comforted disappeared. Raeya loosened her grip, until she let go.

Just because he cared doesn’t mean that she had the right to use him as a crying shoulder whenever she wanted when she had never reciprocated the same energy.

Although Raeya knew that Jin was not that same silly boy years ago who confessed his love to her in the most awkward way, she knew that she couldn’t just take advantage of his kindness towards her.

"Thanks as always. Goodnight, Jin. Tell my brother I'm wishing for his good fortune in the castle. And to Rex, tell him I'll be visiting."

Jin’s eyes sparkled with amusement. He should be. Raeya hadn't visited ever since the last war. Having her back at the village would mean a lot to the people even if it's just for a short time. The main Rigiddin family was never completed ever since Raeya was living inside the city and Richi went to Rokohorta Academy. They deserve some reunion.

"Understood. I'll also tell him about your situation here. How Shadows are on the move again. Be careful in your missions. Even our team is having a tough time dealing with them. They’re not the same brainless Shadows that we fought before. They seem to have a new breed now." His look was serious for a while at the mention of the Shadows.

 Raeya clenched her fists but Jin, realizing that he had set a serious atmosphere, Jin immediately smiled at her.

"Well then, see you around, Raeya."

And once again, the white started to dissipate with Jin, leaving Raeya saddened to realize that she was better off sleeping and talking with Jin rather than waking up to reality with Ryder.