Carolina"That's unbelievably fucked up," Olivia says.She's on speaker as I sit in my room, drawing at the little desk in the corner. I'm putting the finishing touches on a pencil sketch of a tortoise, which I promised Brandon I would teach him to draw. I just finished filling Olivia in on the situation with my mother."You're telling me," I groan, shading the tortoise's pupils. "She's a mess. The whole situation is a mess.""I don't know why, but I thought she might give up after the last time."Olivia has been my friend long enough to know the entire sordid history between me and my mother. She's been there on other occasions when my mom tried to contact me, and she's been my shoulder to cry on when everything fell apart. It's nice, not having to explain myself to her."I know," I agree. "But she never does, does she?""Guess not. But you were right to try to keep those walls up. Your mom doesn't deserve to be in your life, and it's for the best if you keep her at a distance.""Yea
CarolinaMy mother is quiet for a moment, but it's a dangerous kind of quiet, the calm before the storm. I can see the anger building in the paleness of her face, the way the tops of her cheeks redden. I brace myself for the onslaught.And, like a hurricane, she explodes. "Fuck you, Carolina! You little brat! I gave birth to you! You're my child!""I'm not your property," I say, but my voice is too quiet, lost in the face of her fury."You owe me!""Excuse me," says Evans. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder, and at once, a sense of peace sparks inside of me.I'd forgotten he was there. I'm not alone in this."Who the fuck are you?" my mother demands, rudely jutting her chin out at Evans."I am someone who's here to support Carolina," Evans says. He speaks with a coolness that seems to cancel out her fire, measured and careful, but every bit as dangerous. "Someone with the resources that she lacks, despite your assumptions about her financial situation."My mother's face twitches. "
CarolinaWe climb back into the car, and Evans peels out of the parking lot, leaving the park—and my mother, wherever she is—behind. He drives into the heart of the city, and neither of us says much as we go. I take the drive to try to compose myself so that my face isn't red from crying once we arrive at the restaurant.To my surprise, he pulls up outside of an awning with a valet booth. He gets out of the car and hands the keys to a young man in a crimson suit, who takes it away."Evans," I say to him as we stand on the curb, watching the car. "Are you sure you—""Yes."He answers before I even finish asking the question, and it makes me smile despite my tumultuous emotions. He lays a gentle hand on my upper arm and gestures to the front doors, which are gilded and have large glass panes. This place seems considerably more upscale than anywhere I would have taken myself to dinner—or even than the restaurant where I used to work.Once inside, he approaches the host, who is as smartly
Carolina"I got into painting while I was in foster care as a teen," I admit. "I had a bit of a rough time. Most people do, I guess. It's not a great way to grow up." I sigh, leaning back in my chair and avoiding Evans's gaze."So it was an outlet for you?""More than just an outlet. It saved my life.""I didn't know you felt that deeply about it," Evans says."Art is more than just a hobby," I tell him. "Ask any artist. There's something deeply personal about almost everything you make. It's soothing to work with paints, and it feels good to work with your hands, but beyond that, a painting is like a window into someone's soul."Evans nods, listening intently, his dark blue eyes like a painting themselves—full of layered meaning that I wish I could read as easily as I could interpret artwork in a museum."I thought about being an artist when I went to college." I take another delicate, careful sip of wine. "My school had a studio art program. I took some classes, and ultimately decid
EvansThe look on Carolina's face makes my chest tighten, but at the same time, it soothes something inside me.I've never told this story in full to anyone, as far as I can remember. Declan and Reed both know all of the details, but I've never bared my soul this way, not even to them. It's affecting, to let someone in like this—to show them the real me—and to see them look at me this way.With tenderness, and heat, and an emotional understanding that makes me want to admit even more. To tell her everything about myself, everything I can think of, and wait to hear everything about her.I'm not at all surprised when Carolina leans over and kisses me. When she starts to pull back, I cup my hand around the back of her neck, keeping her there for another kiss.By the time we finally break apart, she's flushed, her breathing hot and quick."Maybe we should get out of here," she whispers.I hum, as if in deliberation, then say, "No, I don't think so."Her brow furrows in confusion. "No?""I
EvansI grip her delicate hand with my larger one and lead her toward the hallway. She glances over her shoulder one last time as we duck into the single occupancy bathroom at the end of the hall.The low ambient noises of the restaurant fade away as I pull the door shut, sliding the lock into place. Carolina's dark hair spills over one shoulder as she tilts her head up to meet my gaze, anticipation burning in her eyes."I can't deny you anything when you look at me like that," I breathe roughly.Then I cuff my hand over her hip and back her into the wall.A low gasp escapes her mouth as she grips the lapels of my suit, pulling me closer with the same desperation that's feeding my movements. My mouth crashes down on hers, tasting the flavor of wine on her lips. Her tongue meets mine, and a low moan rumbles in my throat."Fuck, angel. You drive me crazy," I rasp, finally wrenching my mouth away from hers so that I can devour more of her. My lips trail along her jaw and down her neck, m
EvansAlmost before she finishes speaking, I pull out and then slam back in, rocking her forward with the force of my thrust. Her fingers, which were flat against the wall, curl as a soft noise pours from her lips, and the sight and sound of her is almost more than I can take.She really is like a drug.And fuck it all, I'm already so damn addicted that I don't know how I lived without the high of this for all those years before she came into my life."Oh god," she whimpers as I set a hard, fast pace. "Oh god, Evans, please. Fuck. Fuck!""Shh," I remind her when her voice starts to rise again on the last word. "We need to be quiet, remember? Or do you want the whole restaurant to know you're in here begging for my cock? Because I'll be honest, I kind of do."I chuckle darkly as I say the last bit, and Carolina clenches around me in response. I can tell the thought of it turns her on, just like it does to me—although I already know that if anyone even looks at her askance when we leave
EvansAfter we leave the restroom, I head back to the table to pay the bill. I pull Carolina's jacket over her shoulders, enjoying her small, satisfied smile.In the car on the way home, we sit in comfortable silence together. I have trouble keeping my eyes on the road. All I want to do is watch her as she stares out of the window, a dreamy look in her eyes.As soon as we step through the front door, Brandon comes running into the hallway. "You have to see what we made!" he says breathlessly.Indulgently, Carolina and I follow him back into the living room, where Kerry is sitting on the floor, surrounded by a winding maze of toy train tracks. She looks up a little sheepishly, grimacing."Oh, wow," Carolina says with a laugh. "You guys were busy, huh?"Kerry gets to her feet and carefully picks her way through the train tracks, doing her best not to step on any of them. "We sure were.""It's all of the trains for a whole city!" Brandon crows, triumphant. "What do you think?""I love it
CarolinaFor a few seconds, I'm silent, in shock. Then the tears start, and I'm powerless to stop them. "Of course," I manage to choke out, a feeling of weightless elation filling my heart. I feel as though I might drift straight out of this Ferris wheel, up into the sky. "Of course I will."Evans smiles, pressing a kiss to my lips over Brandon's head."Yes!" Brandon shouts, delighted, and Evans and I break apart. I smile at Brandon through my happy tears."What's up, bud?""You're getting married to each other!" Brandon exclaims, beaming. "This is the best birthday ever!" Then he frowns abruptly, noticing my expression. "Why are you crying? Are you sad?""No," I assure him. "Sometimes, people cry when they're very, very happy."The Ferris wheel lurches back into motion, and I feel Evans's hand on my shoulder, his fingertips brushing my neck.As we near the ground, I peer down at the crowd, my eyes widening when I recognize a few familiar faces. "Wait—Evans, is that Olivia?""I invite
Carolina"Go easy on the cotton candy," I chide Brandon, whose lips are sticky and purple from the confection. "That stuff is gonna make you feel sick.""But it's my birthday!""I know," I say, "but you don't want to be sick on your birthday, do you? After all, you haven't ridden the roller coaster yet."He frowns, considering this, his gaze straying to the kiddie roller coaster across the fairway. Then he shrugs, conceding the point. "Okay," he says. "Everyone else can share the rest of mine."He hands the remaining candy floss over to one of his friends, Jazz, who eagerly tears off a chunk and passes it to the next child.I smile, stepping back to stand beside Evans. Brandon wanted to invite his entire class back to the amusement park for his birthday—a huge fling that would've been immensely difficult if it weren't for the presence of some of the other parents, extra watchful eyes on the kids."We should go on the roller coaster next," Brandon says, trying to cajole his friends. "W
EvansAfter I finish, Carolina is silent for so long that it terrifies me.I just unloaded my entire heart to her, but for the first time in my life, I'm not sure if I said the right thing. I'm not sure if there's anything else I should say, or if another word might only make things worse.I've always known how to handle myself in any situation, always prided myself on being able to manage whatever came my way. But as I gaze at Carolina, desperately wanting her to believe me, all of that confidence slips away.There are tears in the corners of her eyes. Did I just make her cry? Is she upset? Did I just fuck up again?I open my mouth, not sure what else is going to come out—probably a babbling mess of nonsense, to be honest—but before I can stammer a single word, Carolina leans up to kiss me.We stay there for a few moments, locked in a deep kiss. All I can think about is how soft her lips are against mine, the scent of her floral shampoo that I sought in the sheets of my empty bed for
CarolinaIt's a long drive, all the way from Evans's place up to the Bronx. With each passing minute, I grow more confused, until finally, Evans pulls into a tree-lined asphalt drive, dappled with sunlight.I don't know what destination I was expecting, but whatever it was, it wasn't this. We're at Woodlawn Cemetery.Evans drives slowly through the wrought iron gates, then up the winding access road, in silence. I turn to him, frowning."Evans—""Almost there," he says.He stops the car beneath the sweeping branches of a massive maple, then steps out, gesturing for me to do the same. I hesitate for a few moments, watching as he crosses the street and approaches a simple, granite headstone.Finally, my curiosity gets the better of me. I climb out of the car and approach him. He turns to face me."I wanted to take you to meet my sister," he says. He's smiling, but there's something sad in the depths of his eyes. "I thought that the most important ladies in my life should get the chance
CarolinaOutside of Evans's ceiling-high windows, there's a flawless view of the winding branches of the oak tree in the backyard. I wake to the sound of a bird, sitting on the branch, chirping a morning tune.I'm nestled into Evans's arms, and that feels... good. Warm. Right. He's still asleep; the bird hasn't woken him. I spend a few seconds dwelling on the blissful feeling, the pleasant soreness in my muscles, as I watch the chickadee hop around on the branch and finally take flight.As soon as it vanishes out of sight, the reality of everything starts to sink in, and I bite my lip as a knot forms in my stomach.Shit. What did I just do?This was a huge mistake. The wound of our breakup was finally starting to heal over, enough that we could have a nice dinner without any awkwardness and with minimal hurt.And now, after this, I've definitely just reopened it, to its fullest extent.It's just going to get harder and harder every time I let myself have a taste. I can't let this cycl
CarolinaEvans trails his mouth over my neck and shoulders, teeth scraping my skin as I hook my legs around his waist, both of us desperate for the other."So fucking perfect." His voice is muffled against my skin, as if he can't bear to pull away long enough to speak. "You taste so good, Carolina. Every inch of you. I need you so goddamn badly."His hands move to the waistband of my pants, working the button and zipper down, and I rock from side to side a little, lifting my hips enough for him to slide them off. He takes my panties with them, and I hiss out a breath as the cool marble meets my bare skin."I need to be inside you," Evans groans, nearly ripping my pants off my legs as I desperately kick off my shoes. The heat between us is like an inferno, and I swear the rest of my clothes are about to burn to ash just from touching my skin. "Can I...?""Yes!" It's a breathless gasp, and I nod, reaching for his pants too.He's still wearing his shirt, and so am I, but I hardly even ca
CarolinaA rush of memories hits me as I walk down the second-floor hallway, especially as I walk past the room I lived in while I worked here. Unable to help my curiosity, I pause outside the door, leaning in to survey my old living space.It's almost empty. The bed is made, but it looks like it hasn't been touched since I was here. It's a little depressing, so I move on quickly.Brandon, in his room, has already put on his pajamas with lightning speed. He's crawling into bed as I enter."Story, story, story!" he chants, an eager grin on his face."Ah, ah," I say. "What are you forgetting?"Brandon frowns for a moment, unsure; then realization dawns on him. He climbs back out of bed and goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Only once he's back do I settle on the side of his bed, racking my brains for a story.Eventually, I spin a tale about our two betta fish meeting in a stream and becoming friends. Given what I know about betta fish, this is a pretty fanciful story—if Gill and
CarolinaWe all head up to the registers together, and once everything is paid for, I pause by the door awkwardly, glancing back at Brandon and Evans."Well, it was really nice to run into the two of you," I begin, expecting to ungracefully part ways."You should come have dinner with us!" Brandon bursts out loudly—he's having an energetic day.I cringe internally, glancing over at Evans. "Um, I don't know if that's a good idea, kiddo.""But it would be so fun!" Brandon cries.Evans nods, his eyes warm as he meets my gaze. His voice is sincere as he says, "Please. You should join us."Whatever I was expecting Evans to say, it wasn't that. I open my mouth to refuse, then close it, considering. It couldn't hurt to just go over for dinner. In fact, it might help with the heartache I've been feeling—a reminder that time moves on, or something."Okay, sure," I say hesitantly. "I didn't have anything to do this evening, anyway."Rather than taking the subway back to my place, I get into the
CarolinaThere are at least fifteen different brands of fish food at the pet store, which makes shopping for my still-unnamed betta fish way more difficult than it needs to be.It's a low maintenance creature, so I don't know what could possibly necessitate all of these different brands. One promises shinier scales, and the other claims to promote healthier fins. I shake my head, weighing one option in each hand.Finally, I decide to make the choice at random. If I picked wrong, my unnamed fish will just have to cope with subpar pellets.I toss the box into my shopping basket and continue down the aisle. I have to pick out a new filter for his little tank, then I'll be on my way.As I round the corner into the next aisle, I almost run straight into someone. I stumble back, startled, and drop my basket. The box of fish food slides across the floor."S-sorry," I stammer, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment."No worries," says a familiar voice.I freeze with my hand halfway to the fish