Chapter 5

Hogan’s POV

As I walked in the middle of the forest, the sound of shattered glass emphasized the leaves being crunched under my feet.

Tonight, I will go and report the border security situation to Philip, the Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack.

I always travel alone on the way to Philip’s house. But tonight, I felt lonelier than before.

The forest has dark shadows of the voluminous trees and puzzled bushes. When I looked up, I saw the moon in the sky. It was so beautiful, a headlifter and an enchanter. 

But the beautiful moon, which was the core of life for werewolves like me, wasn’t enough to ease my sorrow.

In times like this, I remembered certain people, who were huge parts of my life. Yet guilt, disappointment, and hatred filled the void of our histories.  

The longing to see them again was like a bitter pill that was hard to swallow. Mainly because I was the one to blame for it.

'It was my fault.'

My friends died because of my curse. This loneliness and deep hatred to myself was my punishment. 

Yet, I couldn't end my miserable life because I vowed to my foster father, Dave. 

["Hogan. Please protect Philip and the Blood Moon Pack. This is my last wish before dying, my dear son."] 

My feet stopped after I recalled Dave's dying wish. 

It is selfish for me to live. 

But it is also a sin to die. 

Clenching my fists, I told myself to forget useless thoughts and focus on my job. 

'Werewolves don’t break their promises. Werewolves must fulfill their vows,' 

I chanted these words like a spell until I arrived in front of Alpha’s house. 

When I walked in, I saw the Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack sitting on the sofa in the living room.

Our eyes met, but I lowered mine the next second.

“Greetings to the Alpha of the Blood Moon.”

I knelt on my right knee and put my arm on my left.

“Oh, Hogan. You are here. No need for a formal introduction. Stand up.”

At Philip’s permission, I stood up and looked back into his eyes. 

The man with a friendly countenance and gentle voice is the Blood Moon Pack’s Alpha, Philip.  He is Dave’s son and the person I must protect.

“I came here to report about the security situation around the border. Three rogues tried to enter the territory, but I dealt with them. You don’t need to worry. The pack is safe.”

Silence gnawed the place. When Philip stood up, his steps resonated. 

He stopped in front of me.

“Your report is always short and direct," he murmured in a low voice. "But the meaning is still the same. YOU DEALT WITH IT.”

Something flickers through Philip’s eyes, so quickly there’s no time for me to read it precisely.

Why does he look annoyed even if I gave him the good news?

I looked into his eyes which resembled Dave's. His expression while looking at me was always peculiar as if he was hiding behind smoke and mirrors. 

I wanted to believe that he is only like that because of my curse.

“You did great as usual, Hogan. The pack owed you a lot,” Philip said and smiled.

“I am only doing my job,” I replied. “Besides, you are generous enough to keep a rogue like me around the borderline.”

“If not only because of your curse, you are welcome to come in and out whenever you like. Unfortunately, you were born with something that will kill everyone precious to you.”

My heart twisted. A great sense of weariness swept over me, sucking my energy with it as I recalled the people who died because of my curse.

Genin.

Ishakan.

Blain.

Their names strangled my throat, but I kept the tears with me. I always believe I have no right to cry over their deaths.

I turned to Philip, planning to say that I was done with my report now so I will go back to my cabin. But the sudden shift of Philip’s expression caught me.

He looked at my eyes, turning his cruel face with a malicious grin. There was wit and disdain behind his beaming lips and sharp eyes which I couldn’t pass.

“What’s wrong? Why are you smiling at me like that?” I asked him.

My question seemed to strike him as he burst into laughter.

“Well, I couldn’t help but feel excited.” He placed his hands on my shoulder and looked sympathetically at me. “I prepared a gift for you Hogan.”

A gift for the cursed rogue who was barely kicked out because everyone hated him.

It was suspicious that Philip would prepare a gift for someone like me.

“I was planning to surprise you. But I don’t want to skip the part when I can see your reaction.”

“I can’t quite follow. Please tell me what it is,” I demanded.

Philip pulled his hand off my shoulder and smiled.

“I delivered your mate to your cabin.”

My eyes grew bigger and my heart skipped a beat.

I wasn’t sure which part shocked me the most. Was it the fact that I have a mate now? Or because Philip sent the girl despite my situation?

"We found her from the Black Lake Pack. Her name is Elizabeth. I heard she's pretty and..."

“Philip!” I called his name in an unusually loud voice, cutting his nonchalant words. 

 I felt so mad hearing this from him when he never asked for my permission.

Moreover...

"Why did you do that? The girl will die if she stays with me!”

He brought the girl into my cabin even when he knew about my curse. 

“I don’t care that much about the girl,” Philip uttered, which gave me a bitter taste at the tip of my tongue. “I only think about you, Hogan. You’d been punishing yourself for years. It’s lonely to be alone.”

My hands, which were behind my back, opened and closed several times. It was frustrating to deny something so obvious, and yet the other person acts as if he doesn’t care a bit.

If this isn’t Philip, I am not sure what I might do to appease my anger.

“Now, go back. Your mate will be scared if she wakes up alone.”

Philip didn’t need to tell me this.

As soon as I heard his grand surprise, I was ready to go back to my cabin as soon as possible.  I didn’t even say a proper goodbye to the Alpha because I had to fix the matter with my mate first.

After running in the dept of the forest, I arrived back in my cabin.

Standing in front of the door, something sweet and pungent smell reached my nose. I scrunched.

‘Is this my mate’s scent?’

Filled with mixed sadness and disappointment, I walked inside. When I went in front of the bedroom, the smell became even more vivid.

Creak.

The old door opened with a creak.

Inside the dark room where the moonlight shone, a thin woman was lying on my bed.

Her long gray hair scattered beautifully on the bed. She has pale skin that can match the brightness of the moon. When I saw her thin body, it punched the mute button on my thoughts.

She looked like she might break into two if I held her.

‘What kind of pack treated her like that?’  

Even in the dim light, I saw traces of bruises and physical abuse all over her body.

My wolf pitied her, thinking that this woman had an unhappy life. But that’s all.

I walked closer, carefully, trying not to wake her up.

In the close gap, I was more convinced that she has a pretty face and a part of me was mesmerized by her beauty.  

‘However, this woman isn’t my mate.’

I felt so disappointed for getting excited for a short time, only to find that Philip fooled me.

I stood moveless, staring at the beautiful girl that had no connection with my wolf.

I thought I would feel nothing. But when I saw her move, I was anxious.

Her eyelids moved and soon, she slowly opened her eyes.

“Hmmmm,” she groaned and sat up while wincing.

She looked around the room, rubbing her eyes. When she met my gaze, she crawled back and hugged herself as if she was in self-defense mode.

Her green eyes dilated, and her dry lips detached. “W-Who are you? W-Where am I?”

Her face instantly crumpled as she peered straight at me.

I, who barely had someone to talk to, opened my lips and introduced myself.

“My name is Hogan.”

Her mouth hung loose.

“You are in the Blood Moon Pack.”

She stiffened.

It didn’t take her long before she pointed at me and shouted, “B-Blood Moon P-Pack? And you are… H-Hogan?! Then, you are the cursed wolf! Aren’t you?!”

My hands flinched at my side.

She isn’t my mate.

But when she called me like that, my heart sank in sorrow.