Saturday after Thanksgiving, Durango, Colorado...
Milli and Camille were eating pretzels as they walked through the mall behind Willow and Gracie. The girls were taking turns pushing Emily’s stroller and sipping frappes. The 12-year-olds squealed happily and pushed the stroller into a store filled with plushies and candy. In moments, they were hovering over Emily who just yawned as they waved colorful stuffed toys at her.
“She looked at this one.”
“No, she didn’t, she looked at mine.”
“She likes the red and orange one.”
“No. The blue and light blue.”
“She likes the firefish, Gracie!”
“She likes the dolphin, Willow.”
They were getting louder and louder, and Emily had scrunched up her face.
“Girls! Babies at that age don’t see colors well, it’s about contrasting colors, find something black and white,” Camille scolded. Shaking her head as they stalked off mumbling about penguins an
Milli sat in her car, snowflakes swirled against the glass as she waited for the light to turn green. She watched them dancing, carefree like the fireflies of the summer, and couldn’t stop the tears from running down her cheeks. The only reason her hands weren’t shaking because she was gripping the steering wheel so tightly it turned her knuckles white. She was trying to keep it together until she got home from her obstetrician appointment. The doctor had come all the way back on a Monday to see another high-risk patient and to give Milli some devastating news rather than wait for her appointment on Thursday. * * * Last Thursday... The nurse took all her vitals and had her put a half-gown over her breasts and baby bump. A cart with a portable ultrasound was wheeled in. The obstetrician, an older man with thinning hair and jovial voice, asked Milli a myriad of questions, then if she had any concerns before th
Elizabeth struggled to rise so Lloyd helped her as Milli carried a crying Emily and the carrier toward them. “The doctor said we will know next Thursday if Emily got it from Edgar too. The genetic testing takes three days.” The doctor had followed Milli out, “Ms. Haywood, we really need to talk about your procedure.” “Dr. Barrows, I’m not having an abortion! I’m Catholic!” Milli snarled at him. “But you could die if you get sepsis, he isn’t really alive.” The doctor argued. “You have to consider your health for Emily’s sake. You don’t need to worry; she won’t have this.” Milli snarled at the doctor's suggestion, “You get Emily’s DNA sorted, and then I’ll worry about myself. I will see you Thursday. I’m ready to go.” Milli huffed at Lloyd and Elizabeth. “Fine, Ms. Haywood but if you have any cramping at all, fever, nausea, feeling faint, you call 9-1-1 and come straight in.” The doctor looked seriously at Lloyd and Elizabeth. “Keep an eye on he
As Milli iced the gingerbread cookies Aunt Elizabeth had volun-told her to make, she struggled with the pain. It had only been a little over a month since her world went to heck in a cake box. She had spent two days decorating gingerbread cookies. Camille had asked for help from the Women’s Auxiliary since the diving coach wasn’t much of a baker and the dive team needed a fundraiser for the Winter Carnival and were assigned the cakewalk and bake sale booths. Every cookie brought back a memory of home Milli didn’t want to remember, and she ruined half of what she baked before she found her groove. She decorated the traditional cookies with red, blue, or green scarves and hats, then added white dots or stripes or zigzags. It had been an exercise in frustration at first, but Milli knew she needed the cookies to succeed if she wanted to build her reputation before her bakery opened someday. A hard knock on the door had her peeking at a sleeping Emily as she passed. A pretty blon
Milli carefully arranged the iced shortbread cookies the Church Ladies’ Auxiliary had ordered for the evening service on several large trays. She had made almost two hundred more than needed to make sure the twelve hundred she brought tonight were perfect. Mrs. Wallace and Mrs. McConnell had oohed and awwed over the blue and white iced stars. Each cookie covered in two colors of flares, swirls, dots, and loops; this filigree work had taken a long time. The six-pointed stars looked more like abstract snowflakes or quilted ornaments than cookies. They were art, her art, but they were also an offering, each made with a prayer for her son while she ignored the inevitable. Truthfully, Milli was grateful for the work to keep her mind off the fact that Charlie’s monitor was now beeping more and more frequently. Any time his heartbeat became erratic, it beeped. Milli knew what was coming, and refused to admit it, or her fears. She may hate Edgar, but she wanted Charlie to live. The
At 12:05 AM on December 26th, the doctor cut a thin line across Milli’s stomach. The nurse cleaned and wrapped Charlie quickly before placing him on Milli’s chest. Milli didn’t feel the rest of the procedure, she only remembered the priest blessing her child before giving him last rites. She remembered Jackson saying, “Charlie is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.” As he took pictures of Milli holding her baby. Milli ran her fingers over Charlie’s tiny perfect face in the quiet room, marveling at how much he looked like a mixture of Edgar and herself. “He looks like both of us.” Her baby never cried, never took a breath, but he would live in her heart forever. Dorine helped Aunt Elizabeth come in. She said softly, “He’s so handsome.” Aunt Elizabeth nodded in agreement, “I’m certain he will give Marni nothing but trouble in the afterlife. Look at that bit of mischief in his smile, oh yes, he’s an ornery one, a little troll just like you.”
Cornell Rowling and Heith found Edgar passed out in his apartment. His company credit card had informed them he bought a round-trip ticket to Las Vegas late on the 26th. But instead of returning the 29th on his scheduled flight, Edgar had bought a first-class ticket back to Dallas the evening of the 28th and then paid cab fare after charging nearly a thousand dollars at a liquor store. He had not talked to anyone in the family since Christmas Day. Empty tequila bottles littered each of the rooms, it smelled like something had died. Edgar mumbled incoherently as they carried him into the bathroom and put him in the giant tub, soiled clothes and all. As Heith’s father filled the tub around his inebriated nephew, Heith looked for the reason behind Edgar's bizarre behavior while he filled a trash bag with empty bottles. Edgar had taken Marni’s death hard, but this was a whole new level of self-destruction. Something black and shiny caught his attention. Heith tapped Edga
Four days after Christmas, Dallas... After two weeks of helping the last of her father’s miners quit Rowling Enterprises, Jean Lasater arrived back in Dallas to see her doctors. They said the same thing they did at every other appointment and always before she had politely listened, but this time, she stood up and walked out without a word. She wanted to go home to die but she didn’t have a home any longer. She had sold her parents’ house years ago, so she drove to the spartan upscale apartment where she had lived for almost a decade. Looking around, she didn’t have photos or paintings, nothing lovely decorated her dwelling; she didn’t even have a Christmas tree. Her home was as lonely as her but it’s not time to think about that. There was little time left and she needed to be quick with her actions. Thinking about the next move, she went to her answering machine and pushed the play button, waiting to hear the messages that filled in.
Jean Lasater stood tall and proud in her shimmery red dress. “This gentleman is going to make sure that you and your family pay for the suffering you have caused.”The man in the gray suit introduced himself and announced, “Colleen Rowling, I am Special Agent Whitman with the Texas State Attorney General’s Office and you are under arrest for murder, attempted murder, extortion, embezzlement, fraud, tax evasion, stock manipulation, and… oh hell... we’ll be standing here for an hour if I have to name all of the charges. You have the right to remain silent...” He rattled off her Miranda rights.Heith and Chloe rushed to the stage as their family, friends and business partners backed away.“What is going on here?” Heith demanded.“Jean, why are you doing this? Mom’s your best friend,” Chloe gasped in shock.“Heith, you deserve this after what happened to Marni and Milli Hayw
The Sequel: Wild Anemone is coming soon. Hello friends,I'm Mama Magie Ward. A farm mom and author who started writing as part of my stroke recovery.We walk together in the penumbra, a space of partial illumination between the shadow and the light.Mine are stories about and for those who face overcoming or succumbing.Reality turned to fiction as a coping mechanism. There will be triggers for survivors. Some of the beginnings, middles and endings are not what I would wish on anyone. But sadly, these are the truths many have to overcome. We are all sisters and brothers; we have choices in a world that teaches us we are objects. You are not alone.I encourage you to seek healing if you need it.There is always the choice... Be Better, not bitter.Thank you for considering my scribbles. Be Blessed.F******khttps://www.f******k.com/authormmwardI****thttps://www.i****t.com/penumbraminetwitter
Superintendent Patrick had asked Milli for her number again at Ben Wallace’s funeral. Milli had been frozen in place for a moment with Emily on her hip, looking for Aunt Elizabeth. She had handed over one of the Wild Anemones business cards without hesitation and agreed to make 1000 simple vanilla cupcakes and a specialty cake for a raffle.It had taken her two days of baking in her oversized double oven, in the oven of the single bedroom cottages and the oven in the Anemone. Running between the four buildings in the wind and snow was annoying and cold. Now, she had only to decorate the last of them and deliver them today.While her mixers hummed, making more buttercream frosting, Milli rolled out fondant and stamp-cut hearts out of the sheets. Each heart made her think of Lloyd’s tattoo. She groaned in her head; she liked him a lot, but obviously, the feeling wasn’t mutual. He made her feel things she didn’t understand, things different from wh
Lloyd’s soul ached like when he had lost his Uncle Ray, and worse than the times they had lost men in combat. It ached because the man they were gathered to say goodbye to meant as much to him as his grandfather and great-uncle. Ben had been a fixture in the community for his whole life and he had died as a hero in Lloyd’s book. He didn’t look anywhere except at the clear sky above the minister’s head. He didn’t hear the words the minister said, and the words of Amazing Grace, and Sweet By and By, came out without a thought as he sang the hymns. He saluted when they played Taps for Ben who had served with distinction and earned several medals including the Navy Cross. Afterward, he watched Tonia pretending to be distraught, and Tim doing his best to ignore her and pay attention to Tiana. He wasn’t surprised when they all went inside to have a memorial meal together, but Tonia had left. Milli was offering cake to the Wallace family when Molly squeezed his ar
The wind raged through the trees above him. Lloyd was about to call out when he heard the whistle from the overgrowth under a large cedar, it was a place sheltered from the oncoming storm. Lloyd pushed away the overgrowth of limbs and fallen branches, there he saw Beau was leaning against the trunk, the whistle in his mouth. He seemed asleep; he inhaled slowly and blew a loud blast. Ben was lying next to him, his shoulder ripped open, his skin ashen. Lloyd knew Ben was dead. Ben’s coat was draped over Beau’s legs. Lloyd crawled in, “Beau, I’m here.” Lloyd lifted the bloody coat off his friend’s leg. It was a mangled mess. A belt was tightened above his knee. Lloyd had seen a wound like this before. The driver in an APV ahead of him had suffered the same injury when they ran over an IED, he hadn’t made it. Lloyd knew that the tourniquet would cost Beau his leg, but it may have saved his life. “Hang on, Beau. I am going to get you out of here.” Lloyd cr
When they got back to Pagosa County, Lloyd drove to the Ridgeline Ranch as he promised. Milli got out in the starting snow and was shocked when Camille’s girls rushed out, looking scared. “Girls, where is everyone?” Lloyd demanded seeing the scared girls and led them inside. “We don’t know, Deputy McConnell. Mom and Gramma Dorine rode out to look for Grandpa Ben and Beau when Cajun and Poncho came home alone.” Willow’s chin trembled as Gracie added further, “Mom thinks something bad happened...” and her tears started to fall. Lloyd instantly knew something bad had happened and called his grandfather about bringing the horses and everyone on hand from the Rocking M over to Ridgeline Ranch. They needed to start a manhunt before the weather got worse and someone died. Milli shifted nervously, holding Emily close. “Is that really a thing here? To ride out looking for a bear?” She looked confused and terrified as she asked Lloyd, “Why would they go looking
Milli was up before dawn. Peeking in Lloyd’s room, she saw sprawled out on the bed in his boxers. Empty bottles from the mini-bar covered the night table. On one shoulder was a military tattoo, and in the center of his chest was a heart with a lettered ribbon. ‘ANTONIA’ was written there. It looked like an old tattoo, one that had spent years over his heart. She scowled as he rolled over onto his side, exposing his back. He was covered in scars and a few had come from bullets. She had grown up in the Vegas ghetto until she was 6, then had a close friend who was a cop and another who was a cop’s son, so she knew what those wounds looked like when they healed. She was glad Lloyd was out of the military and working in a county as small as Pagosa. His life was safe now, but his spirit was another story. Tonia had crippled it. Sitting by the bed, a plan quickly formed in her mind, Milli logged into the hotel’s wi-fi. She found the shop she was looking for in minutes and snapped a
The next morning, they headed to the slopes without talking any more about their past. Milli fell down as much as she skied but she always got back up. Lloyd showed her a better way to turn and stop. He feared for her bodily safety. Between her lack of skill, absence of fear, and need for speed, he worried she would break something. By afternoon, they were talking in their suite after showering while waiting on room service for an early dinner. The adrenaline from the day on the slopes hadn’t worn off yet. “Whoever taught you how to ski was trying to get you maimed or killed,” Lloyd huffed. “Well, he was from Texas,” Milli answered, laughing at his stormy expression. “A Texan?!? Really?” He seemed disgusted. “You let a Texan teach you how to ski?!?” “Yep. He taught me to ski in Tahoe, California, in April.” She grinned at his reaction. “Seriously? A Texan taught you to ski in California?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Yep.” She popped
Milli wondered if Lloyd had talked to anyone about all the drama Tonia had caused in his life. She had seen men fall into Marni’s orbit and stay there for years; some ended up losing their marriages. “I promised to come back for her… I got home from Bootcamp a day early to surprise her and my family. I thought I was home alone, then I heard them upstairs. I just stood there at the door, watching my cousin screwing my girlfriend. I must have made a sound because they stopped. Both said they were sorry, and I punched Tim square in the nose. I hit him and didn’t stop. Tonia was screaming at me to leave him alone. When she said that she was having his baby, I froze.” His hands tightened on the wheel. “Tim got up and hugged Tonia, said he was going to marry her. He begged me to forgive him and said it had just happened. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like the time we were screwing around, and I fell off the barn, but this time it wasn’t my ribs that were broken,
Milli laughed malevolently to herself as she drove straight to City Hall and parked on the side in front of the Sheriff’s Offices. “Hello Ms. Ruby, I need to talk to the sheriff about borrowing your nephew,” Milli began handing the woman a box of carrot cake muffins. She saw Lloyd standing in the office with Sheriff Tanner; they both walked out seeing Milli. Ruby smiled up at her and winked. “Can I help you, Ms. Haywood?” Sheriff Tanner asked in a concerned voice. “Actually, you can, Sheriff,” Milli smiled wickedly and held out a box of pastries to each man, “I came to offer you cake-mail in an attempt to get a favor from you concerning your deputy.” Sheriff Tanner grinned handsomely as he lifted the lid to the box. “I’m listening.” Milli could almost hear Marni’s ‘hello, cowboy’ to Tank as Milli winked at Lloyd. “I am sure you heard about my little trade at the Bingo game last night.” “No,” Lloyd said firmly, holding