Chapter 2

Tank

I see Lug Nut come out of the playroom where I know Lilly and the twins are. She always goes in there when she watches the twins here. I don’t normally pay attention because the brothers go in there to say hi to the boys. He is picking her up tonight? Is he taking her out? Like a date? Lug Nut doesn’t date and neither does Lilly. It isn’t club-related I would know. I can’t stand when some of my brothers or prospects touch her. I want to rip their arms off for putting their hands on her.  You are probably wondering why I give a shit. It’s because  I know every move Lilly makes. Most of the time whether I want to or not.  Most people around here think I can’t stand the girl and I keep it that way. But it is furthest from the truth. When I rescued Lilly all those months ago as soon as I had her in my arms it just felt right. Like that was where she belonged. I got close to her the first couple of months she was here. And that is where I fuck up. I started getting feelings for the girl. Feelings I shouldn’t be having. She is barely eighteen at the time, still healing from what the Reapers did. I’m ten years older than her. I’m not a good man. I have killed for my club. I fight. I drink. I fuck around. I’m a hardass biker with a bad attitude on a good day. I shouldn’t be feeling anything for her. I’m not good for her. Lilly is everything good in this world. I am not. So I backed off from her. I stopped talking to her because when I heard her voice my dick would stand at attention. Hell, I can’t be in the same room as her without the fucker wanting to get close to her. So I leave. She got the hint and now avoids me at all cost.  I have even agreed with some of the bunnies that she shouldn’t be here. Lilly doesn’t belong here. Not because of anything she has done. Lilly is too good for this place.

You would think that would be enough to get her out of my mind. No such fucking luck. I close my eyes and there she is. She is everywhere. From the way, she smells like vanilla to her laugh. Most guys have no problem looking at Lilly. With her waist-length hair that reminds me of corn silk that I want to run my fingers through. To her light caramel eyes that make you feel like she can see into your soul. And her body. Damn. She wears clothes that are way too big for her but I know she has a killer body under them. Thick thighs and hips. An ass made for my big hands to grab ahold of. And her tits christ I know she is hiding at least c’s under those baggy shirts. Fuck, my dick is like a steel pipe in my jeans just thinking about her.

 I have tried everything I can think of to get her out of my head. I drank nightly until I blacked out. I fucked bunnies on a nightly basis trying to get rid of Lilly. But to get off I have to picture Lilly. I have gone as far as bad-mouthing her with the bunnies.  I have sat back and watched the bunnies harass her and even hit her.  I didn’t intervene or do anything to stop it even though I should. I just let it happen. I notice the hurt and pain I saw in Lilly’s eyes every time damn near killed me.  I had to get her out of my head.

Did any of that work? No. All it did was make me feel like shit. And make Lilly and my brothers think I’m disgusted by her. I couldn’t stand her. I wanted her out of the club. None of it was the truth but it kept Lilly away from me so no matter how bad it made me feel it was for the best. Lilly deserves someone better than me. Someone who won’t bring darkness to her light. I feel like shit for treating her like this but it’s the way it has to be. Though it is also costing me my brother's respect.

Lug Nut

I get Lilly to the garage that the guys and I practice in.  When I told her the guys I wanted to introduce her to are in a band I told her the truth. We play every Thursday night at a bar on the edge of town. I led her inside with my hand firmly on the small of her back. I can feel her nervousness whether it be from letting me down or from singing in front of people I’m not sure about. I know she won’t let me down. Even if the guys don’t like her she still won’t let me down. She tried, that is all I can ask for. I don’t think it is going to be a problem. I know my guys are going to love her.

The guys all greet me when I get in. “ Guys, there is someone I want you to meet.” I made sure Lilly was standing in front of me while the guys gathered around. “ This is Lilly.” She gives a shy wave. I point to the guys starting from left going right. “ Lilly, this is Rick, drummer.” He shakes her hand. “ Steve, bass guitar. Dez, keyboard. Neil, rock vocals. Connor, eclectic guitar. And you know me. I do some country vocals.” When I tell her that her eyes snap at me. I know she wants to say something but doesn’t. “ Guys, I brought Lilly today because I think you need to hear her. She has some amazing vocals I think we could use. And I’m told she is pretty good at playing the guitar.” Neil says “ Oh yea. Let’s hear you.” Lilly looks unsure. “ It’s ok. Lilly just imagine you are giving the twins a private concert.” She nods “ Ok. What do you want to hear?” “ Anything you are comfortable with,” I told her. I can see the uncertainty in her eyes but she powers through by first taking a deep breath then closing her eyes. It takes her a minute before she starts with ‘Stay’ by Sugarland. 

When she starts singing I watch the other guys for their reactions. When she gets to the second line in the song Neil picks up his acoustic and plays along with her. Looking at their faces I know I was right. Dez and Conner’s jaws are on the floor. They are blown away just like I was when I first heard her in the playroom. Hell, she is even better now. I can feel her putting much more into it than she did when she was goofing off. When she finishes the song no one says anything for a minute. I don’t think they know what to say. There is no way to describe what we just heard. 

Finally, Neil says “ Lug says you play guitar. Show us what you got.” Lilly shuffles from foot to foot. “Oh, I haven’t played in a while.” “ Just pick a guitar and give it a shot. What is it going to hurt?” Niel says. Lilly looks at me for approval. I haven’t heard her play yet and am curious so I  nod. She walks over to Connor and timidly asks if she can use his. He helps her strap it on and make sure it is plugged in. Then gives her some space. Just like before she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Her hands are shaking when she moves her fingers across the strings. She plays the first few chords but that's all it takes before she flows into a riff from ``You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi. This time Rick gets on the drums to play along with her. Damn, she is good. She doesn’t miss a cord or timing. Lilly and Rick just flow together like they have been playing for years. It’s amazing to watch. 

When Lilly stops playing she gives the guitar back to Connor and thanks to him for letting her play. She walks back over to me. She is looking around nervously waiting for someone to say anything to her. I can tell she is expecting the worst. But I want to try one more thing before I say anything to her. “ Lilly, I’m going to sing something. If you know it, I want you to sing along with me.” I started singing ‘Easy” by Rascal Flatts. It is done as a duet and I want to see if we can work together. I watch her while I sing my part. She is tapping the beat out with her fingers on her legs and tapping her foot. When it gets to the part I’m hoping she will sing. Lilly doesn’t let me down. She doesn’t miss a beat. And when we sing at the same time she is right along with me. Our voices blend in harmony with each other. With one difference. Lilly doesn’t keep her eyes closed this time. She is looking right at me. And the smile she has. Wow. I have seen her smile before. Lots of times in fact. But this has the whole room lighting up. It is a smile of pure joy. That is until the song ends. Then she looks at the floor again. I need to check one more thing. “ Lilly, I need to try to sing with Neil. I want to see where your range is.” She nods. Looking at Neil she says “ You lead it out.” Neil chooses a Peter Cetera song ‘ The Next Time I Fall.’  They execute it flawlessly. There is no one she isn’t compatible with.  

After a minute of silence, I look at my bandmates. I know they are thinking about how to add her to our group. I guess the silence was too much for Lilly because she says “ Remember your promise, Lug Nut.” I know the promise that I wouldn’t be mad if the meeting went bad. I walk over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “ Lilly, look at me.” When she looks up I tell her “ I could never be mad at you. You are amazing. I think we are just taking in everything. For someone so small you have a powerful voice. And to think it has been hiding in plain sight for almost a year.” “ And your fingers flew across the strings. Strings I didn’t think you could even reach with your tiny hands.” Conner says. Neil comes up “ Lilly, you. I don’t even know where to start. Wow. Just wow. I’m pretty sure I speak for all of us when I ask. Would you like to join our band? We could really use you. No, we need you. We play in a honkey donk bar for about fifty or so people. But with you.We could pack the place.`` 

“ I don’t know. I never sang in front of anyone before. Unless you count my high school music teacher. What if I’m awful?”  Dez feels the need to speak up “ Lilly, you being awful is not going to be a problem. I don’t think you can be bad if you try.” Lilly looks at me. She holds my gaze for a minute. I know she is looking for something. If we are speaking the truth. If the offer is real. Or if I’m ok with her joining. Hell yes, I want her in. The only thing she could do for our band makes us better. Whatever she is looking for she finds it because after a minute she smiles at me and says “ Yes, I would like to join you guys. Thank you.” 

I lift her up and spin her around “ No, Lilly. Thank you.” Now that we have that settled we inform her about practice dates. We tell her about the bar we play at. We will go tomorrow and talk to Harris, the owner of the bar so he won’t have a problem letting Lilly in since she is under age. She won’t be drinking or partying. Just playing with the band. And helping us look good and sound better.