TOPHERI TRIED not to listen to rumors. Pero hindi maiwasan. Pinag-uusapan siya kahit saan.Sinasabi nilang nagbago na si Jenna. She was all over the place, flirting with anyone who would flirt back. Mula noong bumalik siya sa office, laman na siya ng parties kahit hindi naman siya palalabas before. She went out with friends, wearing hot clothes and stilettos, having a great time with girl friends and male admirers. They were fascinated with the new Jenna. Somehow, her actions didn’t shame her. Kasi maganda. Kasi sexy. And single. And she could move, and dance. And she just came out of a rather stupid relationship. She deserved it.Kasi spontaneous, nakakadala ang mga halakhak niya. Nakakainggit kasi hindi kayang gawin nang iba ang ganoon. Pero masayang kasama. Nakakawala ng problema.She’d become notoriously famous.She didn’t care what people think now. But sometimes, she looked lonely. Sabi.Minsan daw natutulala pa rin. Kapag naririnig ko iyon, natutulala rin ako.I sent h
TOPHERI KISSED her–hard–because I missed kissing her and I wanted her to know.I kissed her the best way that I know because I wanted all other kisses from other men gone from her memory. She kissed me back as hard and as hotly. I pushed her with my body towards the door and she knew why because it was her hand that reached for the knob behind her to lock it. Sabi ko na nga ba. Para sa aming dalawa, walang halfway-halfway. She wanted me, too. As in now.But I was me, stupid me. At napaungol ako pero kailangan kong gawin ang sunod. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tumingin ako sa kanya hanggang napilitan siyang magmulat ng kanyang mga mata.“Yes,” she replied before I even asked the question.“Oh, Jenna…” paiyak kong tugon dahil sa sobrang relief. We still synched, she and I. As I reached for the hem of her short dress, she was unbuckling my belt.“Topher, who still wears belts?” reklamo niya.Natawa ako habang nakasubsob sa kanyang dibdib. I was right. She was wearing a strapless bra. I
JENNAI AM so much in trouble.It had been a full three hours since I parted with Topher. I still didn’t know what happened, because we just didn’t fuck inside that office – thank you very much. Kasi, kung iyon lang iyon, bakit ayoko nang tumuloy sa date ko tonight?I lied to Topher. Or, it was a half lie. Totoong nasa parehong dinner si Uncle Markus, pero hindi sila lang kundi ang date na in-arrange ni Auntie Claudine para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napahiya pa akong umamin kahit alam ko namang nakakarating sa kanya ang pagpa-party ko at ibang mga kabulastugang pinaggagagawa ko nitong nakaraang mga araw. If only canceling wouldn’t make Auntie Claudine think that me and Topher had a secret relationship ay nagkansela na ako talaga.Ganito kasi ang nangyari. Iyong pagkukunwari namin ni Topher sa kanyang Mommy at stepfather at Maxine na iyon bilang magkasintahan, nagkaroon ng consequence. His mother asked questions and it reached my Auntie’s ear. Ipinaliwanag ko sa dalawa
JENNA“I INVITED him, actually,” paliwanag ni Auntie Claud nang maupo na rin si Topher at sa pagitan pa nila ni Greg, err, Glenn. “I also invited another girl pero Portia couldn’t make it. Akala ko nga hindi makakarating itong si Topher,” sabi pa niya. “’Buti na lang kahit busy ang sched mo you made it!”Portia? Sinong Portia? “You’re setting us all up for a blind date, Auntie?” hindi ko napigilang itanong. Hindi ako makapaniwala na gusto niyang i-blind date pati si Topher!Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. At nag-init ang mga pisngi ko. Napalakas at napataas ang boses ko.Nanatili ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Auntie Claud. “Why, yes! Binata si Christopher, single… as well as you, Greg and Portia, my dear. Why not?”“Hi!” breathless na bati nang isang pambabaeng boses.I don’t believe it, bwisit kong naisip. Akala ko ba hindi makakarating?“Portia!” excited na walang mintis na sambit ni Auntie Claud.“Iha,” gracious namang sabi ni Uncle Markus. This time, siya ang tumayo para mag-request n
JENNAKUMABOG ang dibdib ko nang makita kong may kotseng nakaparada sa labas ng gate ng bahay ko noong makarating ako roon.It really was almost impossible to believe he could get here before me because I left the parking lot of the restaurant with him still inside the place but… he must have driven here like crazy.He’s coming out of the car.Topher.He looked mad.Uh-oh.Pinarada ko ang kotse ko sa unahan ng kanya sa tabi ng kalsada. Noong bumaba ako, nasa tabi na siya ng kotse.“Did you kiss him?”“Hah! Did you think I’ll have time—”Nahaklit ako sa kanya.And he was kissing me bad. It was rough and angry and bruising. But I was just happy he was there. And then I was happy he was angry. I didn’t think my kind and gentle Topher could be like this. And it’s…Hot.Umangat ang ulo niya. “Did you kiss him?”“No,” parang mabait na tupa kong reply.“Is there anyone else in the house?”“Noone.”“Let’s go inside.”“The cars—”“Inside, baby.”Oh my God, natunaw yata ang matres ko!We were
JENNA“MAS masarap ito, ano? Tikman mo,” ani Sandra habang nilalagay sa bibig ko ang piraso ng binalatang hipon mula sa kanyang plato. Nasa isang resto bar kami at may cocktails at seafood sa mesa. Sa halip na umuwi, doon kami nag-dinner at nag-relax paglabas namin sa trabaho. It was a Friday night and it would be a lax day tomorrow. Pwedeng pumasok ng late o hindi pumasok since katatapos lang namin sa isang project kaya nga kami narito. Nagse-celebrate ang team namin.Hindi namin kasama si Topher. Last weekend na kasi ito bago ang Valentine’s Day Exhibit kaya busy siya kasama ng kanyang mga artist friends. Sini-set nila ang media hall na gagamitin sa isang mall dito sa BGC para sa event.Baka nga hindi ko siya makita buong weekend.Habang nginunguya ko ang hipon na sinubo ni Sandra, nakikinig ako sa mga usapan sa paligid ng mesa. I actually was just busying myself while I waited for a message from my… what do I call him now? Boyfriend ko na ba siya?Parang ganoon na nga yata. Pinig
JENNASo, iyon nga, nagpatuloy ang hapunan. Hindi pa man nangangalahati si Topher sa kanyang kare-kare order ay nagsipag-order na ng beer at cocktails ang iba. I asked for a Smirnoff at gumaya si Topher. I knew, Valerie and Jasmine noted this, too. Pero bukod naman dito ay nakikipagkuwentuhan siya sa iba. Sinasagot niya ang interested na tanong ng mga ito tungkol sa exhibit. Most of them were surprised to find out he regularly had his paintings on private and semi-private exhibits once or twice a year. Topher wasn’t very forthcoming about this part of his life ever since. Ngayon lang.Tapos na si Topher sa pagkain at dumating na rin sa mesa ang in-order nitong dalawang Hoisin pizza para sa gusto pang magtagal doon at uminom noong mahina ko siyang tinanong kung babalik pa siya sa mga kaibigan niya.“Yes. Medyo marami pang gagawin. But let me know when you’re going and I’ll come back and drive you home.”Hindi ko dinala ang car ko kaninang umaga kasi magkasabay kaming pumasok… I meant h
JennaVALENTINE’S DAY.I wouldn’t miss Topher’s exhibit in the world.So, after carefully dressing myself up for him, I drove to where he was going to do his exhibit with his artist friends. And the venue was packed with art enthusiasts and curious folks. I had a special invitation, though, and I was so excited to see Topher’s work on display and quite apprehensive about our two paintings together. Syempre, nakamata rin ako sa paligid ko. Baka kasi totohanin ng mga katrabaho kong dumalo at magkita-kita kami kung saan ayokong makasama sila.Nang maging pamilyar sa akin ang ilang paintings, alam kong nakarating na ako sa spot kung saan naroroon ang mga gawa ni Topher. Mas maraming tao roon at alam kong hindi lang dahil magaling siya kundi dahil isa siya sa mga featured painters. Kahit hindi masyadong alam sa work ang kanyang isa pang karera ay marami siyang followers sa art world.Hinahanap ko siya nang pasimple. Oo, alam na ng mga katrabaho namin ang tungkol sa amin pero hindi pa kam
Jenna“Mommy?! Anong ginagawa mo rito?” nagawa kong masambit matapos ang ilang sandali habang tinatago na sobra akong dismayado. What the hell was she doing here?Sa halip na sumagot agad ay niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa magkabilang pisngi. “I came here as soon as I heard na may exhibit ang boyfriend mo.” Pagkatapos ay tiningnan niya ako nang may paninisi sa mukha. “Do I have to learn this from your uncle, Jenna. I wanna let it go but Claud said he’s a really good painter and I wanna see his work. And I love them! I bought a couple. Is it true he’s a really good boy, as well. You did good, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!”Tumikhim ako para lang makasingit sa kanyang litanya, lalo’t nakakatawag na ng pansin ang mga sinasabi niya sa mga nasa malapit. She seemed so happy she hadn’t realized she was being so loud. “Ahm, thank you, mom. Sinong kasama mo? Did you come alone? How did you know to come here?”“With your aunt and uncle and a friend, whom I would like to introduce to you a b
JennaVALENTINE’S DAY.I wouldn’t miss Topher’s exhibit in the world.So, after carefully dressing myself up for him, I drove to where he was going to do his exhibit with his artist friends. And the venue was packed with art enthusiasts and curious folks. I had a special invitation, though, and I was so excited to see Topher’s work on display and quite apprehensive about our two paintings together. Syempre, nakamata rin ako sa paligid ko. Baka kasi totohanin ng mga katrabaho kong dumalo at magkita-kita kami kung saan ayokong makasama sila.Nang maging pamilyar sa akin ang ilang paintings, alam kong nakarating na ako sa spot kung saan naroroon ang mga gawa ni Topher. Mas maraming tao roon at alam kong hindi lang dahil magaling siya kundi dahil isa siya sa mga featured painters. Kahit hindi masyadong alam sa work ang kanyang isa pang karera ay marami siyang followers sa art world.Hinahanap ko siya nang pasimple. Oo, alam na ng mga katrabaho namin ang tungkol sa amin pero hindi pa kam
JENNASo, iyon nga, nagpatuloy ang hapunan. Hindi pa man nangangalahati si Topher sa kanyang kare-kare order ay nagsipag-order na ng beer at cocktails ang iba. I asked for a Smirnoff at gumaya si Topher. I knew, Valerie and Jasmine noted this, too. Pero bukod naman dito ay nakikipagkuwentuhan siya sa iba. Sinasagot niya ang interested na tanong ng mga ito tungkol sa exhibit. Most of them were surprised to find out he regularly had his paintings on private and semi-private exhibits once or twice a year. Topher wasn’t very forthcoming about this part of his life ever since. Ngayon lang.Tapos na si Topher sa pagkain at dumating na rin sa mesa ang in-order nitong dalawang Hoisin pizza para sa gusto pang magtagal doon at uminom noong mahina ko siyang tinanong kung babalik pa siya sa mga kaibigan niya.“Yes. Medyo marami pang gagawin. But let me know when you’re going and I’ll come back and drive you home.”Hindi ko dinala ang car ko kaninang umaga kasi magkasabay kaming pumasok… I meant h
JENNA“MAS masarap ito, ano? Tikman mo,” ani Sandra habang nilalagay sa bibig ko ang piraso ng binalatang hipon mula sa kanyang plato. Nasa isang resto bar kami at may cocktails at seafood sa mesa. Sa halip na umuwi, doon kami nag-dinner at nag-relax paglabas namin sa trabaho. It was a Friday night and it would be a lax day tomorrow. Pwedeng pumasok ng late o hindi pumasok since katatapos lang namin sa isang project kaya nga kami narito. Nagse-celebrate ang team namin.Hindi namin kasama si Topher. Last weekend na kasi ito bago ang Valentine’s Day Exhibit kaya busy siya kasama ng kanyang mga artist friends. Sini-set nila ang media hall na gagamitin sa isang mall dito sa BGC para sa event.Baka nga hindi ko siya makita buong weekend.Habang nginunguya ko ang hipon na sinubo ni Sandra, nakikinig ako sa mga usapan sa paligid ng mesa. I actually was just busying myself while I waited for a message from my… what do I call him now? Boyfriend ko na ba siya?Parang ganoon na nga yata. Pinig
JENNAKUMABOG ang dibdib ko nang makita kong may kotseng nakaparada sa labas ng gate ng bahay ko noong makarating ako roon.It really was almost impossible to believe he could get here before me because I left the parking lot of the restaurant with him still inside the place but… he must have driven here like crazy.He’s coming out of the car.Topher.He looked mad.Uh-oh.Pinarada ko ang kotse ko sa unahan ng kanya sa tabi ng kalsada. Noong bumaba ako, nasa tabi na siya ng kotse.“Did you kiss him?”“Hah! Did you think I’ll have time—”Nahaklit ako sa kanya.And he was kissing me bad. It was rough and angry and bruising. But I was just happy he was there. And then I was happy he was angry. I didn’t think my kind and gentle Topher could be like this. And it’s…Hot.Umangat ang ulo niya. “Did you kiss him?”“No,” parang mabait na tupa kong reply.“Is there anyone else in the house?”“Noone.”“Let’s go inside.”“The cars—”“Inside, baby.”Oh my God, natunaw yata ang matres ko!We were
JENNA“I INVITED him, actually,” paliwanag ni Auntie Claud nang maupo na rin si Topher at sa pagitan pa nila ni Greg, err, Glenn. “I also invited another girl pero Portia couldn’t make it. Akala ko nga hindi makakarating itong si Topher,” sabi pa niya. “’Buti na lang kahit busy ang sched mo you made it!”Portia? Sinong Portia? “You’re setting us all up for a blind date, Auntie?” hindi ko napigilang itanong. Hindi ako makapaniwala na gusto niyang i-blind date pati si Topher!Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. At nag-init ang mga pisngi ko. Napalakas at napataas ang boses ko.Nanatili ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Auntie Claud. “Why, yes! Binata si Christopher, single… as well as you, Greg and Portia, my dear. Why not?”“Hi!” breathless na bati nang isang pambabaeng boses.I don’t believe it, bwisit kong naisip. Akala ko ba hindi makakarating?“Portia!” excited na walang mintis na sambit ni Auntie Claud.“Iha,” gracious namang sabi ni Uncle Markus. This time, siya ang tumayo para mag-request n
JENNAI AM so much in trouble.It had been a full three hours since I parted with Topher. I still didn’t know what happened, because we just didn’t fuck inside that office – thank you very much. Kasi, kung iyon lang iyon, bakit ayoko nang tumuloy sa date ko tonight?I lied to Topher. Or, it was a half lie. Totoong nasa parehong dinner si Uncle Markus, pero hindi sila lang kundi ang date na in-arrange ni Auntie Claudine para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napahiya pa akong umamin kahit alam ko namang nakakarating sa kanya ang pagpa-party ko at ibang mga kabulastugang pinaggagagawa ko nitong nakaraang mga araw. If only canceling wouldn’t make Auntie Claudine think that me and Topher had a secret relationship ay nagkansela na ako talaga.Ganito kasi ang nangyari. Iyong pagkukunwari namin ni Topher sa kanyang Mommy at stepfather at Maxine na iyon bilang magkasintahan, nagkaroon ng consequence. His mother asked questions and it reached my Auntie’s ear. Ipinaliwanag ko sa dalawa
TOPHERI KISSED her–hard–because I missed kissing her and I wanted her to know.I kissed her the best way that I know because I wanted all other kisses from other men gone from her memory. She kissed me back as hard and as hotly. I pushed her with my body towards the door and she knew why because it was her hand that reached for the knob behind her to lock it. Sabi ko na nga ba. Para sa aming dalawa, walang halfway-halfway. She wanted me, too. As in now.But I was me, stupid me. At napaungol ako pero kailangan kong gawin ang sunod. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tumingin ako sa kanya hanggang napilitan siyang magmulat ng kanyang mga mata.“Yes,” she replied before I even asked the question.“Oh, Jenna…” paiyak kong tugon dahil sa sobrang relief. We still synched, she and I. As I reached for the hem of her short dress, she was unbuckling my belt.“Topher, who still wears belts?” reklamo niya.Natawa ako habang nakasubsob sa kanyang dibdib. I was right. She was wearing a strapless bra. I
TOPHERI TRIED not to listen to rumors. Pero hindi maiwasan. Pinag-uusapan siya kahit saan.Sinasabi nilang nagbago na si Jenna. She was all over the place, flirting with anyone who would flirt back. Mula noong bumalik siya sa office, laman na siya ng parties kahit hindi naman siya palalabas before. She went out with friends, wearing hot clothes and stilettos, having a great time with girl friends and male admirers. They were fascinated with the new Jenna. Somehow, her actions didn’t shame her. Kasi maganda. Kasi sexy. And single. And she could move, and dance. And she just came out of a rather stupid relationship. She deserved it.Kasi spontaneous, nakakadala ang mga halakhak niya. Nakakainggit kasi hindi kayang gawin nang iba ang ganoon. Pero masayang kasama. Nakakawala ng problema.She’d become notoriously famous.She didn’t care what people think now. But sometimes, she looked lonely. Sabi.Minsan daw natutulala pa rin. Kapag naririnig ko iyon, natutulala rin ako.I sent h