JENNASo, iyon nga, nagpatuloy ang hapunan. Hindi pa man nangangalahati si Topher sa kanyang kare-kare order ay nagsipag-order na ng beer at cocktails ang iba. I asked for a Smirnoff at gumaya si Topher. I knew, Valerie and Jasmine noted this, too. Pero bukod naman dito ay nakikipagkuwentuhan siya sa iba. Sinasagot niya ang interested na tanong ng mga ito tungkol sa exhibit. Most of them were surprised to find out he regularly had his paintings on private and semi-private exhibits once or twice a year. Topher wasn’t very forthcoming about this part of his life ever since. Ngayon lang.Tapos na si Topher sa pagkain at dumating na rin sa mesa ang in-order nitong dalawang Hoisin pizza para sa gusto pang magtagal doon at uminom noong mahina ko siyang tinanong kung babalik pa siya sa mga kaibigan niya.“Yes. Medyo marami pang gagawin. But let me know when you’re going and I’ll come back and drive you home.”Hindi ko dinala ang car ko kaninang umaga kasi magkasabay kaming pumasok… I meant h
JennaVALENTINE’S DAY.I wouldn’t miss Topher’s exhibit in the world.So, after carefully dressing myself up for him, I drove to where he was going to do his exhibit with his artist friends. And the venue was packed with art enthusiasts and curious folks. I had a special invitation, though, and I was so excited to see Topher’s work on display and quite apprehensive about our two paintings together. Syempre, nakamata rin ako sa paligid ko. Baka kasi totohanin ng mga katrabaho kong dumalo at magkita-kita kami kung saan ayokong makasama sila.Nang maging pamilyar sa akin ang ilang paintings, alam kong nakarating na ako sa spot kung saan naroroon ang mga gawa ni Topher. Mas maraming tao roon at alam kong hindi lang dahil magaling siya kundi dahil isa siya sa mga featured painters. Kahit hindi masyadong alam sa work ang kanyang isa pang karera ay marami siyang followers sa art world.Hinahanap ko siya nang pasimple. Oo, alam na ng mga katrabaho namin ang tungkol sa amin pero hindi pa kam
Jenna“Mommy?! Anong ginagawa mo rito?” nagawa kong masambit matapos ang ilang sandali habang tinatago na sobra akong dismayado. What the hell was she doing here?Sa halip na sumagot agad ay niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa magkabilang pisngi. “I came here as soon as I heard na may exhibit ang boyfriend mo.” Pagkatapos ay tiningnan niya ako nang may paninisi sa mukha. “Do I have to learn this from your uncle, Jenna. I wanna let it go but Claud said he’s a really good painter and I wanna see his work. And I love them! I bought a couple. Is it true he’s a really good boy, as well. You did good, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!”Tumikhim ako para lang makasingit sa kanyang litanya, lalo’t nakakatawag na ng pansin ang mga sinasabi niya sa mga nasa malapit. She seemed so happy she hadn’t realized she was being so loud. “Ahm, thank you, mom. Sinong kasama mo? Did you come alone? How did you know to come here?”“With your aunt and uncle and a friend, whom I would like to introduce to you a b
JENNAI HEARD the noise before I saw them.The unmistakable sound of sex. I knew at once whose male grunts I was hearing. Kasi hindi maaaring hindi ko makilala ang tinig ng sarili kong boyfriend, o ang mga ungol niya at timbre ng boses kapag aroused siya. Sa kabila nang hindi pa kami kahit kailan nakakapag-sex, nakakalabas pa rin kami and we’ve made out. Kondisyon ko iyon, na only when I was ready for serious commitment – like engagement commitment – would I sleep with him.So, Keith was fucking somebody inside his office, on the day I have decided I was ready to have sex with him.And it wasn’t me.This was totally unexpected. I never expected he would be like this. Akala ko napaka-understanding niya. Akala ko napakabait niya at napakahinahon kapag umuurong sa mas mainit na naming mga tagpuan, iyong kung hindi ako tutulak ay may mangyayari na sa amin.Akala ko iba siya. Akala ko talaga nakatagpo na ako ng matino at disenteng lalaki. I’m such a moron pagdating sa pagbo-boyfriend…
JENNA MY NAME is Jenna. My parents were decently wealthy before my daddy died in a tragic car accident when I was twelve, so me and my Mom were left to the guardianship of my Uncle Markus, who is filthy rich.I worked – believe me, I do. I finished a degree in Interior Design, and I consulted with my uncle’s marketing people regarding set designs sa mga commercial ads na ginagawa ng mga ito para sa mga products at ibang businesses. I also designed sets for movies and TV shows in indie films here and abroad bilang hobby na nae-enjoy ko. Nakikipag-collaborate ako sa mga kaibigan kong nagtatrabaho sa foreign movie outfits. I loved it that I could go anytime. Kasi nga, rich kid, so I could afford working on what I loved doing. But in fairness to me, I only do this when I have time. I respect commitments and I would never accept any project I knew I couldn’t finish on schedule.I’m a nerd.I am turned-introvert and don’t normally go anywhere if I didn’t have to. The only reason I at
JENNAUNTI-UNTI AKONG nagmulat ng mga mata. But even before I did that, alam kong hubad ako sa ilalim ng kumot. Naisip ko, with my brain feeling detached from my body, shit happens when you allow yourself to get drunk alone in a bar. But I didn’t think it could happen to me.I couldn’t even cry. Sobrang katangahan na ito. Sobra na!But in the next moment, I realized I wasn’t completely naked. Suot ko pa ang bra ko at panties. Sinilip ko ang ilalim ng kumot para makasiguro, at totoo. And then I smelled soap. Sa buhok ko. Sa balikat ko. Sa mukha ko.I remembered puking before I passed out. Pagkatapos niyon… ni hindi ko na maalala kung anong nangyari. But I did remember strong hands around me before I completely lost it. I remembered leaning on a strong chest. I remembered smelling a certain male cologne that seemed somehow familiar and comforting. I remembered a pleasant but clearly worried voice calling my name… Kilala ako.Sino? Kanino?Ngayong alam ko nang hindi ako namolestiy
TOPHERSHE’S NOT angry. Thank God!Nag-alala ako, but I didn’t think she would be unreasonable. Lahat nang nakakilala kay Jenna Diana Lee sa office, gusto siya kasi hindi siya mahirap kausapin o abutin sa kabila ng koneksyon niya sa ultimate boss naming lahat. Nakakailang nga lang ang kanyang yaman pero once you started really talking to her, she wasn’t unfriendly or suplada. On the other hand, her uncle was one of the coolest men I’d ever met. The fruit did not fall too far from the tree, I see. Pero kinabahan pa rin ako na mag-isip siya nang masama kapag nagising siyang hubad. It was touch and go there, and only after I’d escaped the room did I think of this. Hindi ko na lang talaga kayang pumasok uli sa loob.Hindi ako tsismoso, but I’d heard snippets about her story from the others in the office whenever I went there to submit my work or there’s a commission to finish. Mukhang hindi lang isang beses muntik nang maloko si Jenna nang kung sinong nagpapanggap na in love sa kan
JENNAI WAS not surprised to find out I enjoyed Topher’s company. Nakita ko agad na pareho kaming mahiyain, asiwa sa simula at maingat, pero walang komplikasyon sa katawan kapag kaharap ang isang kasundo. At magkasundo kami, and so obviously. Matapos ang unang mga sandali nang pagkaasiwa at pakiramdaman ay biglang ang daldal na lang namin. Knowledgeable kami sa parehong mga subjects at tumatawa kami sa parehong mga jokes. Nakukuha namin agad ang sinasabi nang isa’t isa, iyong klase na pwede kong simulan ang sentence at tatapusin niya. It was amazing. I wished we’d become friends much sooner. I really did. Sinabi ko pa iyon sa kanya. He was as wistful.Tinulungan ko siyang mag-ready ng hapag-kainan pagkatapos kong mag-shower at isuot uli ang damit kong fresh from the washer. Nag-init pa nga ang mga pisngi ko nang maisip kong bagong bago ang suot kong sexy underwear, lacy and sheer and black. Unless he was undressing me with his head turned away, imposibleng hindi niya nakita ang
Jenna“Mommy?! Anong ginagawa mo rito?” nagawa kong masambit matapos ang ilang sandali habang tinatago na sobra akong dismayado. What the hell was she doing here?Sa halip na sumagot agad ay niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa magkabilang pisngi. “I came here as soon as I heard na may exhibit ang boyfriend mo.” Pagkatapos ay tiningnan niya ako nang may paninisi sa mukha. “Do I have to learn this from your uncle, Jenna. I wanna let it go but Claud said he’s a really good painter and I wanna see his work. And I love them! I bought a couple. Is it true he’s a really good boy, as well. You did good, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!”Tumikhim ako para lang makasingit sa kanyang litanya, lalo’t nakakatawag na ng pansin ang mga sinasabi niya sa mga nasa malapit. She seemed so happy she hadn’t realized she was being so loud. “Ahm, thank you, mom. Sinong kasama mo? Did you come alone? How did you know to come here?”“With your aunt and uncle and a friend, whom I would like to introduce to you a b
JennaVALENTINE’S DAY.I wouldn’t miss Topher’s exhibit in the world.So, after carefully dressing myself up for him, I drove to where he was going to do his exhibit with his artist friends. And the venue was packed with art enthusiasts and curious folks. I had a special invitation, though, and I was so excited to see Topher’s work on display and quite apprehensive about our two paintings together. Syempre, nakamata rin ako sa paligid ko. Baka kasi totohanin ng mga katrabaho kong dumalo at magkita-kita kami kung saan ayokong makasama sila.Nang maging pamilyar sa akin ang ilang paintings, alam kong nakarating na ako sa spot kung saan naroroon ang mga gawa ni Topher. Mas maraming tao roon at alam kong hindi lang dahil magaling siya kundi dahil isa siya sa mga featured painters. Kahit hindi masyadong alam sa work ang kanyang isa pang karera ay marami siyang followers sa art world.Hinahanap ko siya nang pasimple. Oo, alam na ng mga katrabaho namin ang tungkol sa amin pero hindi pa kam
JENNASo, iyon nga, nagpatuloy ang hapunan. Hindi pa man nangangalahati si Topher sa kanyang kare-kare order ay nagsipag-order na ng beer at cocktails ang iba. I asked for a Smirnoff at gumaya si Topher. I knew, Valerie and Jasmine noted this, too. Pero bukod naman dito ay nakikipagkuwentuhan siya sa iba. Sinasagot niya ang interested na tanong ng mga ito tungkol sa exhibit. Most of them were surprised to find out he regularly had his paintings on private and semi-private exhibits once or twice a year. Topher wasn’t very forthcoming about this part of his life ever since. Ngayon lang.Tapos na si Topher sa pagkain at dumating na rin sa mesa ang in-order nitong dalawang Hoisin pizza para sa gusto pang magtagal doon at uminom noong mahina ko siyang tinanong kung babalik pa siya sa mga kaibigan niya.“Yes. Medyo marami pang gagawin. But let me know when you’re going and I’ll come back and drive you home.”Hindi ko dinala ang car ko kaninang umaga kasi magkasabay kaming pumasok… I meant h
JENNA“MAS masarap ito, ano? Tikman mo,” ani Sandra habang nilalagay sa bibig ko ang piraso ng binalatang hipon mula sa kanyang plato. Nasa isang resto bar kami at may cocktails at seafood sa mesa. Sa halip na umuwi, doon kami nag-dinner at nag-relax paglabas namin sa trabaho. It was a Friday night and it would be a lax day tomorrow. Pwedeng pumasok ng late o hindi pumasok since katatapos lang namin sa isang project kaya nga kami narito. Nagse-celebrate ang team namin.Hindi namin kasama si Topher. Last weekend na kasi ito bago ang Valentine’s Day Exhibit kaya busy siya kasama ng kanyang mga artist friends. Sini-set nila ang media hall na gagamitin sa isang mall dito sa BGC para sa event.Baka nga hindi ko siya makita buong weekend.Habang nginunguya ko ang hipon na sinubo ni Sandra, nakikinig ako sa mga usapan sa paligid ng mesa. I actually was just busying myself while I waited for a message from my… what do I call him now? Boyfriend ko na ba siya?Parang ganoon na nga yata. Pinig
JENNAKUMABOG ang dibdib ko nang makita kong may kotseng nakaparada sa labas ng gate ng bahay ko noong makarating ako roon.It really was almost impossible to believe he could get here before me because I left the parking lot of the restaurant with him still inside the place but… he must have driven here like crazy.He’s coming out of the car.Topher.He looked mad.Uh-oh.Pinarada ko ang kotse ko sa unahan ng kanya sa tabi ng kalsada. Noong bumaba ako, nasa tabi na siya ng kotse.“Did you kiss him?”“Hah! Did you think I’ll have time—”Nahaklit ako sa kanya.And he was kissing me bad. It was rough and angry and bruising. But I was just happy he was there. And then I was happy he was angry. I didn’t think my kind and gentle Topher could be like this. And it’s…Hot.Umangat ang ulo niya. “Did you kiss him?”“No,” parang mabait na tupa kong reply.“Is there anyone else in the house?”“Noone.”“Let’s go inside.”“The cars—”“Inside, baby.”Oh my God, natunaw yata ang matres ko!We were
JENNA“I INVITED him, actually,” paliwanag ni Auntie Claud nang maupo na rin si Topher at sa pagitan pa nila ni Greg, err, Glenn. “I also invited another girl pero Portia couldn’t make it. Akala ko nga hindi makakarating itong si Topher,” sabi pa niya. “’Buti na lang kahit busy ang sched mo you made it!”Portia? Sinong Portia? “You’re setting us all up for a blind date, Auntie?” hindi ko napigilang itanong. Hindi ako makapaniwala na gusto niyang i-blind date pati si Topher!Napatingin silang lahat sa akin. At nag-init ang mga pisngi ko. Napalakas at napataas ang boses ko.Nanatili ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Auntie Claud. “Why, yes! Binata si Christopher, single… as well as you, Greg and Portia, my dear. Why not?”“Hi!” breathless na bati nang isang pambabaeng boses.I don’t believe it, bwisit kong naisip. Akala ko ba hindi makakarating?“Portia!” excited na walang mintis na sambit ni Auntie Claud.“Iha,” gracious namang sabi ni Uncle Markus. This time, siya ang tumayo para mag-request n
JENNAI AM so much in trouble.It had been a full three hours since I parted with Topher. I still didn’t know what happened, because we just didn’t fuck inside that office – thank you very much. Kasi, kung iyon lang iyon, bakit ayoko nang tumuloy sa date ko tonight?I lied to Topher. Or, it was a half lie. Totoong nasa parehong dinner si Uncle Markus, pero hindi sila lang kundi ang date na in-arrange ni Auntie Claudine para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napahiya pa akong umamin kahit alam ko namang nakakarating sa kanya ang pagpa-party ko at ibang mga kabulastugang pinaggagagawa ko nitong nakaraang mga araw. If only canceling wouldn’t make Auntie Claudine think that me and Topher had a secret relationship ay nagkansela na ako talaga.Ganito kasi ang nangyari. Iyong pagkukunwari namin ni Topher sa kanyang Mommy at stepfather at Maxine na iyon bilang magkasintahan, nagkaroon ng consequence. His mother asked questions and it reached my Auntie’s ear. Ipinaliwanag ko sa dalawa
TOPHERI KISSED her–hard–because I missed kissing her and I wanted her to know.I kissed her the best way that I know because I wanted all other kisses from other men gone from her memory. She kissed me back as hard and as hotly. I pushed her with my body towards the door and she knew why because it was her hand that reached for the knob behind her to lock it. Sabi ko na nga ba. Para sa aming dalawa, walang halfway-halfway. She wanted me, too. As in now.But I was me, stupid me. At napaungol ako pero kailangan kong gawin ang sunod. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tumingin ako sa kanya hanggang napilitan siyang magmulat ng kanyang mga mata.“Yes,” she replied before I even asked the question.“Oh, Jenna…” paiyak kong tugon dahil sa sobrang relief. We still synched, she and I. As I reached for the hem of her short dress, she was unbuckling my belt.“Topher, who still wears belts?” reklamo niya.Natawa ako habang nakasubsob sa kanyang dibdib. I was right. She was wearing a strapless bra. I
TOPHERI TRIED not to listen to rumors. Pero hindi maiwasan. Pinag-uusapan siya kahit saan.Sinasabi nilang nagbago na si Jenna. She was all over the place, flirting with anyone who would flirt back. Mula noong bumalik siya sa office, laman na siya ng parties kahit hindi naman siya palalabas before. She went out with friends, wearing hot clothes and stilettos, having a great time with girl friends and male admirers. They were fascinated with the new Jenna. Somehow, her actions didn’t shame her. Kasi maganda. Kasi sexy. And single. And she could move, and dance. And she just came out of a rather stupid relationship. She deserved it.Kasi spontaneous, nakakadala ang mga halakhak niya. Nakakainggit kasi hindi kayang gawin nang iba ang ganoon. Pero masayang kasama. Nakakawala ng problema.She’d become notoriously famous.She didn’t care what people think now. But sometimes, she looked lonely. Sabi.Minsan daw natutulala pa rin. Kapag naririnig ko iyon, natutulala rin ako.I sent h