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Arc 2: In Memoriam (Part 7)
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 2: In Memoriam (Part 8)
It’s difficult to describe the scent of one’s Sire. This is a problem that all vampires have, not just myself. To a vampire, the smell of Sire is just that: Sire. It’s authority and trust and command and home all wrapped into one. I don’t know why it comes as a surprise to me. It’s quite literally impossible for Canus to have not encountered me as a human, considering he was the one who replaced my mortality with his blood. But still, it’s strange. The distribution of this scent doesn’t indicate a mere visit, a get-to-know-each-other before immortality is imparted. Obviously, this must be where it happened. This must be the last place I set my human eyes upon. But Canus’s scent suffuses this space, strongly and evenly, as if he lingered here for an extended period of time. So why? Why did he stay around so long? I wander into the bedroom. The bed has been made, and the wardrobe is empty, as expected. There are no other scents of creatures beyond myself (as both vampire and human) a
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 2: In Memoriam (Part 9)
I leave the flat the same way I got in—by the kitchen window, which I reinstall on my way out. Next, I use sorcery to obscure myself and run the entire way from Slough to Egham so I can break into the humanities department at Royal Holloway. I’m cutting the time a little close, since it’s already almost two o’clock, which leaves me about four hours to track down James Cantrell’s office, top up on blood, and return to Canus’s estate in Hackney. The campus is much like any college campus, I imagine, all grey roads and red brick buildings. There’s an antique sort of feel to it, and I recognise the shapes of some of the buildings from the photos posted online over a year ago, when I was still a classics student named Aura attending university here. I desperately want to read the letters from James Cantrell, but I’m also afraid. There’s a trepidation there, a sense of tragedy that feels a little like standing on a bridge made of glass. I resolve, as I walk through the darkened corridors
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Interlude II: A Prologue
The man had an ageless air about him, one that made it difficult to tell if he was in his late twenties or his early fifties. His colouring was drab—mousy hair and dark grey eyes, but his features were fine. Too fine, maybe, to be hidden by a thin scruff and old-fashioned glasses. He dressed in a cosy way, all argyle and tweed, but he sat like a Grecian ruin, elegant and straight and seeming to have endured unblemished for aeons. Aura’s academic advisor had told her that he was a very approachable man, this Dr. Chantrell. She hadn’t believed her then, and she didn’t believe her now. There weren’t many other choices, however. James Chantrell, PhD, was relatively new to the college, and thus he was the only lecturer with an opening for a seminar leader in his intro to Latin class. Aura was still an undergrad, but she was in her final year and top of her class to boot, and she really, really needed this job. ‘Dr. Chantrell?’ she said, more meekly than she would have preferred. ‘I hope I
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 3: All That Glisters (Part 1)
‘You weren’t human,’ I accuse. Canus’s mortal face is still floating before my eyes, an uncanny contrast to the face I see blinking wearily at me from his favourite chaise. I throw the letters at him, not caring that a corner of the beautifully carved box they’re in knocks into the arm of his seat before he catches it. ‘James Chantrell,’ I add. ‘You weren’t human.’ This brings him up very short. He sits upright and stares down at the box. ‘Go on,’ I say. ‘They’re yours more than mine.’ He doesn’t open it. ‘You asked me if I remembered anything, but I didn’t. You remembered, though, didn’t you? Or you wouldn’t have asked. Or you wouldn’t have found me again and turned me.’ I’m throwing out shots in the dark at this point. I don’t know what happened, and I’m not sure I want to know. I didn’t finish reading the letters last night, nor did I even try to look at the email conversation. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just sat down in my bed and stayed like that until this morning, when I
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 3: All That Glisters (Part 2)
Canus looks back at me as the door shuts behind Scintilla and Margaret. We both wait, tense as their footsteps fade into the distance. Out of pride more than anything else, I want Canus to go first, to explain himself to me. He’s calm, however, lounging back as if we didn’t start the evening off with me barging into his rooms to demand answers from him. Eventually, I break. I start with something innocuous, but relevant enough, given how my wrist is still marred with a semicircle of drying blood stains. ‘Can you not drink from humans? Is that why you do this to us?’ I know the answer, of course, but I want to hear his excuses again. Surviving on mortals weakens me, he’d said the first time I mustered up the courage to ask him this question. The curse of our bloodline burdens me more than most. His tone had left no room for further questioning. His answer is different this time: ‘I could, for a time, but often not without killing them. As my newborn vigour left me, however, human blo
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 3: All That Glisters (Part 3)
‘The bloodline curse,’ I whisper in wonder. The blight of my otherwise perfect unlife, yet, if I’m to understand Canus correctly, an unavoidable side effect of its very perfection. Other vampiric bloodlines aren’t as strong as the royal line, but they also don’t suffer our curse. And it’s all because they’ve been using dhampirs to strengthen the bloodline. Canus is both the progeny of the Prince of London and his biological son! It’s all starting to come together. ‘Yes,’ Canus says, nodding. ‘For our line, the weakness manifests as a curse upon our ability to feed, but it’s more complicated than that.’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, take my grandfather for example, who, according to my father, had only been limited to feeding from men. Then, you have my father and his siblings. My father is limited to feeding from mortal nobility. The Prince of Birmingham, meanwhile, is limited to feeding from artists, and the Prince of Manchester is limited to feeding from those born out of wedlock.’
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My blatant emotional manipulation works on Canus. He stops pacing and looks back at me with a stricken expression. ‘I don’t—I mean—no, you’re right. It’s not fair to keep it from you.’ He breathes in, then exhales in something akin to a long sigh, but it’s not the sigh that I’m used to. It’s not disappointed or exasperated, but instead tremulous. Almost like if he’s afraid. ‘Alright, it’s like this. As a newborn, my curse was centred on, ah—’ He winces. ‘Sorry, there’s just no other way to phrase it: I was more or less limited to virgins—purity in a very archaic sense of the word. I still am, sort of, but the curse worsened when I stopped being a newborn.’ I already knew this, more or less, but still I feel the un-vampire urge to blush. I swallow down my embarrassment and ask, ‘And how did it worsen?’ ‘Now, I am limited to those who are dependent upon me.’ A pause, then I start, ‘How does that even…’ relate? He grimaces. ‘I can’t be certain, of course, but I think the logic might
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 3: All That Glisters (Part 5)
Canus’s head snaps back to face mine. His eyes, bright silver and burning, peers into my avoidant gaze. ‘What do you mean?’ he asks. ‘I know we were… together, sort of.’ I bite my lip. I was about to say in love, but it seemed a bit presumptuous. I keep our gazes locked and set my shoulders back, faking assurance that I don’t feel. ‘But I also know that the letters stopped at some point. I figured, if you broke things off between us, and if I didn’t want to remember the embarrassment, then maybe, before you turned me, maybe I asked you to let me forget.’ It’s all speculation, and I grow increasingly uncertain as I try to fill in the gaps of what might have happened. And there’s also that last email conversation Aura had with James. It didn’t seem like she’d been very receptive to his calls. That must have annoyed him. I don’t remember ever seeing anyone tell Canus ‘no’. ‘Favilla,’ he says eventually. ‘Please rest assured that, even if it had been an option, I would have never wante
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‘Please, my lady, there’s no one else!’Strangely enough, the man pleading to me from outside the reception chamber sounds completely mortal. He must have been a thrall at some point, but he can’t be any longer, not with that level of emotion to his voice.‘Simon, let him approach.’Simon gives me a look that speaks volumes of my presumed softness, which I pretend to ignore. To him, this is the first time that I've held court as Canus’s representative, but I’ve done it before, a time or two, back during my first life. It takes a moment, but Simon eventually unbars the door, letting in the human. Only two other petitioners are in the room, and though they seem annoyed, they also make no move to protest as I skip over their non-queue.As the human approaches, I realise that he’s somewhat familiar. I’ve seen him before. At court? No—he looked younger back then, barely more than a teenager, and he’d been immortal when we met, barely more than a newborn and stuck fast to his master, a dark
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Canus and I don’t bother going in the front door. Instead, we peek around to the back. Only when we see a ghastly hole in the ground in the cemetery, raw soil overturned atop the lawn where Katy’s grave must have been, do we continue on inside.The halls are unlit and tranquil, but Canus doesn’t hesitate as he takes the winding turns that lead him to a suite of rooms that I don’t remember ever noticing before. It’s in an entire different section of the estate than the wing where Scintilla and I were assigned rooms. It’s been somewhat hastily refurbished, the must of decades of neglect mixing in with the sharp smell of self-assembly furniture.The door has been left ajar, and Canus and I slip in the small reception area just as Scintilla slips out of what must be Katy’s bedroom.‘Sire,’ she whispers, head bowed.I catch her gaze when she looks up and flash her a supportive smile. She doesn’t return it, but something about her bearing softens just the slightest.Canus jerks his chin tow
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The last thing Canus remembers is the sheer devastation of it all—the bitterness that had seeped into his very core, the pain and regret in her eyes, the purity of her confusion as he gave her his last order. And then there was pain. And then there was nothing. Then, quite suddenly, there was something. There was rain, each droplet splashing down against the roof in a familiar arrhythmic patter, banging against window panes in similar fashion. There was the silken slide of his shirt against his skin, the press of firm cushions against his back. He was slowly lifting out of his trance. He’s always been slow to wake in the evenings, just like he’d been slow to wake from sleep as a mortal. He makes use of his grogginess well, however. Letting it dissipate as he collected his thoughts. Meditation, as he learned from a pair of old acquaintances—mystics of a rare western school of Buddhism—was an invaluable tool in the life of an immortal. It was a habit that he’d practised since long
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The car swerves—that’s how startled Canus is by my question. When he regains control of it again, his fingers are tight around the leather of his steering wheel.‘Come again?’ he says. ‘I could have sworn that you said—’‘That Annia is convinced that I’m to be the Starlight Queen? Yes, I did. She saw me eavesdropping on Chryseus and didn’t report it to him, as far as I can tell. Lady Chalcea seems to trust her, too.’It’s not until the last sentence that Canus seems to relax a little. I grin to myself. For all that he calls her a spoiled brat, Canus still trusts his sister’s judgement.‘She was the one who took me to the shrine and told me who the Starlight Queen was supposed to be,’ I continue. ‘That is, after I accidentally lost my temper at her.’It feels so easy to tell Canus the truth, like some great burden is being lifted from my shoulders. I once imagined myself to be a practised hand at secrecy, but that was when I still had Scintilla or Chryseus in which to confide. I hadn’t
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‘I love you, too, Favilla. Always have, always will,’ he says. It’s as gentle as I’ve come to expect of him, as steadfast and sincere as I could ever wish for. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, and then, as one, we say, ‘I’m sorry.’ We both pause, then open our mouths, then close them upon seeing our actions mirrored in one another. ‘You first,’ I say when I open my mouth again. ‘You have nothing to be sorry about,’ he says. ‘I do,’ I insist. ‘I’m sorry I did that to you. I didn’t mean to. You were never supposed to be the one to find me. I was—’ I pause, realising that it might not necessarily be the best path to follow. I start again: ‘I mean, I know I’m not Aura any longer, that she was the one who made the decision, that she was probably very ill and in a very bad place mentally, but I still feel responsible, somehow, for putting you through that. Please, let me apologise for that, at least.’ He seems to consider it for a moment, but then he nods, mind made up. ‘
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‘It was grandad’s, you know. An antique, though I suppose not quite so antique as you.’ It had a smooth handle worn down by three generations of use, and it kept its edge remarkably well considering it went about a dozen years without anyone bothering to check on it.‘I did keep it, yes,’ Canus confesses.‘It’s pretty, isn’t it?’ I remember how its silver blade flashed in the dim and flickering candlelight. Looking back, I recognise how silly it was to put a tealight in the sink to see by. My thought process had been that, even if some strange happenstance knocked it over, I’d at least be certain that it wouldn’t catch the entire block on fire. I could have used proper lights, I suppose, but I was loath to waste electricity if it was going to be ages before anyone found me. If I were to die, I could at least help spare the planet from a similar fate.At first there was nothing, and then it hurt so much that I could barely slash my other wrist as well. Shortly thereafter, the cold came
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 4: Those Left Behind (Part 10)
Not much has changed since I last visited less than two months ago. The scent of my human self is worked into every corner, overlaid by a strange sense of corruption. I briefly seat myself on the back of the settee, looking around the cramped space. As Canus mentioned, the kitchen table is missing from its place. Otherwise, the cabinets are all shut, and all the flat surfaces are empty safe for the thinnest layer of dust—no humans, no dead skin cells, no new dust being generated.I grimace and stand up. Walking into the bedroom, I see empty air where previously were the scattered personal effects that Canus had originally deemed too sensitive for me to see. They, of course, are hidden away in my study back at the estate, and, as loath as I am to agree with Canus, I still have yet to page through them properly.‘A bit of a let-down,’ I comment. ‘I thought you said I’d remember something.’Canus says, practically into my ear, ‘Don’t pretend you don’t know where I need you to go.’I jump
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 4: Those Left Behind (Part 9)
With my new revelation, tracking down three more victims and feeding Canus in between hunting is relatively trivial. It puts a new spin on the act, however. The pain that I derive from Canus’s feeding is no less than before, but now it comes with a sense of vindication. Now, every time he pulls away and licks my blood from his lips, I see the hidden emotions dwelling in their depths—guilt and desire. Suddenly, I feel bad for him. I even feel the barest twinge of sympathy for Chryseus. The two of them have been hit the worst by the bloodline curse, enough so that they’ve been forced to feed on their progeny. What’s more, I suddenly understand that they must hate it, that they must hate seeing the source of their guilt every day, to feed from us time and time again. ‘It’s always like this, isn’t it?’ I ask after I come back from my last victim, healed and more fully sated than I’ve ever been. ‘The guilt?’ Very carefully, Chryseus nods. ‘That’s the real curse, I think. My Father likes
Reborn to Love: A Vampire's Fate Arc 4: Those Left Behind (Part 8)
All thoughts of sustenance escape me. I stand, frozen, watching the bright glint of luminescence that is my mark slip further and further down the corridor before turning in the direction of the tearoom. The bleached white walls and linoleum flooring are dark without her presence, but I don’t even care. I’m remembering back to a conversation I had with Chryseus. It doesn’t count, I said, laughing. Your progeny are all older than me. Then I’ll ask Father for another progeny, Chryseus replied, a glint in his eyes. It’s been decades since my last. He’ll accept. It won’t be the same, I insisted. You wouldn’t get to see them as a child. We can adopt a mortal baby, then. If we ask Father for special permission, I’m sure he’ll agree, especially if we raise it as a witch. If the baby is raised as non-human, then the secrecy laws won’t apply. Okay, I said, heart in my throat. Alright. I once considered it to be the moment I fell in love with him. ‘Favilla?’ Canus asks. I blink. There’s
