Chapter 1: Back to nineteen

“Trina… Trina…” The sound of a familiar call gently roused me from my slumber. Slowly, I opened my eyes, immediately greeted by the glare of bright light outside, causing me to squint. Despite the discomfort, I still saw what was around.

The sky had transformed into a clear expanse of blue, adorned with white clouds that drifted like tufts of cotton candy. I felt the sun on my skin and the breeze kissing my skin. This surreal scene was entirely out of place for what should have been the heart of a bone-chilling winter.

The realization of this stark anomaly jolted me upright, triggering an immediate onset of a pounding headache. Closing my eyes tightly, I cradled my head to alleviate the discomfort.

“Trina… Trina… Are you alright?” The voice, unmistakably familiar and tinged with anxiety, called out once again. I felt soft hands rubbing my temples.

“Lucy?” I blurted out a name that was all too familiar to me.

“I’m here, milady. Are you alright?” Lucy’s voice carried reassurance as her fingers continued their soothing dance on my temples.

“Lucy… I…”

Wait... What?

In an instant, I lifted my head, and there she was, Lucy, before me. Lucy, who had died trying to hold David off so I could escape the pack house.

Her gaze met mine, and her face immediately became confused, probably because my expression was so weird. I guess it was a blend of astonishment, confusion, and a touch of panic.

Yet, there was no time to decipher this surreal scene or the intricacies of her expression. Without thinking, I leaned in, my hands reaching for her cheeks, drawing her face toward mine.

I studied Lucy’s face extremely cautiously. The brown hair that habitually adorned a tidy ponytail, the chestnut eyes that always held a gentle and bashful gaze. I even traced the freckles that adorned the bridge of her nose.

But it was not enough.

My palms moved against her cheeks, prompting her perplexed utterance. Until my hands could honestly feel her smooth skin and body heat, I sighed in relief, “Lucy, you’re alive...”

“What?” Surprise laced Lucy’s voice. My evil hands, her words somewhat muffled. She said, while trying to escape my evil hand, “Are you alright, Trina? Did you have a bad dream? Or have you succumbed to heatstroke? Well, perhaps both. Your gaze… What’s wrong?”

My gaze absorbed all of her vivid movements into my brain. They revived my nerves. Oh my god, Lucy… still alive.

“Oh my Goddess, Trina, you’re crying,” Lucy exclaimed, taken aback. It was only then that I recognized the warm trails that tears had carved down my cheeks. Their saltiness lingered on my lips.

“Do I...?” My voice faltered, a mere whimper. I hugged Lily tightly, letting go of my throat to allow my cry to escape.

My Goddess, I had thought I lost everything. I tightened my embrace and rediscovered a sense of security.

Only now did I comprehend the depth of my dread, of the paralyzing fear that had gripped me in that bone-chilling snow. The terror of facing a lonely demise, the agony that could assail both body and spirit—its haunting specter still clung to me.

My strangeness confused her, but she was also softened when she saw my tears.

“It’s okay, Trina. It’s over,” I felt her warm hands on my back. She patted me and comforted me with her soft voice.

My tears had subsided, and my fear had diminished, replaced by a surge of regret. If my foolish beliefs hadn’t blinded me, she wouldn’t have died. Even when traitors came to me, I should have left and let Lucy stay.

I rested my head on her shoulder, the scent of the roses that grew beneath the window of my room making me feel safe.

I let go of her as my emotions calmed down.

Lucy was still alive, but what about the others? My papy, my mommy, Evelyn, and the others. Where were they? What was happening? Was this heaven?

But then I sneered—how was I supposed to go to heaven after all I’d done?

I sat up straight again and looked around, but there was nothing but big and towering old trees.

I quickly realized where I was; it was the Black Eye Forest, the forest that surrounded our pack. The forest was covered with verdant foliage, the songs of birds mingling with the rustling sound of small animals walking on dry leaves. It contrasted with the desolation of the harsh winter I had just experienced.

“Lucy, tell me, where is everyone?” I stood up and hurriedly asked Lucy.

“Where is everyone? What do you mean?” Lucy stood up, brushing dirt and grass from her dress, her voice impatient. “So, what’s wrong with you? Did something happen in your dream?”

“I…” My gaze fell to the top of Lucy’s head, realizing something odd, I exclaimed in surprise, “Lucy, you’re shorter?”

Immediately, she looked up at me and frowned, “Shorter? What do you mean? I was only 16 and I would be even taller. Be careful, you are already 19 years old and soon you won’t be able to grow. Take care of yourself.”

With that, she used a lovely small comb to tidy her chocolate brown hair.

“Wait, nineteen?” I wondered under my breath. Confused by the unfolding events, small sparks ignited within my heart.

Lucy glanced at me as if my question were silly, “Hurry up! We have to get back to the pack at once or we’ll be late. I don’t want to let Alpha down.”

Lucy walked towards my pack. Her bare feet trampled the grass of the forest so slowly that her ponytail didn’t even vibrate. Unmistakably, she was my Lucy.

“My heart beat faster, a very special idea came to mind. But first, I needed to confirm my idea. I needed to calm down. I touched my left chest, feeling the strong beating of my heart. Inhaled deeply, I exhaled slowly, steadied my heartbeat, then chased after her.

I walked side by side with Lucy. It was an experience entirely unprecedented. In my previous life, I was always in a hurry, always overwhelmed by everything around me that always left her behind.

Drawing a profound breath, the moist aroma of dew-kissed leaves intermingling with the tang of sunlight and wind gave me a feeling of nostalgia.

Took light steps, I felt the softness of the moist soil and soft grass with the soles of my feet. My left hand reached out, grazing older adults trunks of trees, letting their rough scrape touch my soft palm.

I let go of my keen senses, letting them wander through the foliage, down to the ground. I could even hear underground water, which would flow into the wells of my pack. The smell of the forest after the rain hit my nose, soothing my previously tense nerves.

It had been too long since I last walked around and enjoyed the atmosphere of the Black Eye Forest.

Black Eye was an enormous tropical forest and a rich, mysterious ecosystem. The danger and death of the forest made surviving in it a tough challenge. Therefore, it was a solid natural defense layer of our pack, the Blue Camellia pack.

But it was also a natural cage for our pack. Our knowledge of it had not yet allowed us to be free in this forest. Usually, with the knowledge they were taught about the forest, the members could only be free within a 2,500 square kilometer radius of the pack’s center.

So the members of the pack had no knowledge of what was going on out there. Books about the outside world were all outdated. The only thing that made them useful was when the novelists in the pack needed references for the setting of their stories. But not many of us were really curious about what we would see when we got out of this forest.

Because we loved our lives more than all the frivolous things out there.

Soon, the pack appeared in front of us. Gazing at the towering wall enveloped in the tendrils of Vernalis tree vines, my eyes welled with moisture.