Kit stared at her mother, her mouth agape, for almost as long as it had taken Rona to speak in the first place. It wasn’t until Zora cleared her throat that Kit was able to look away. Trying to determine what sort of problem it might be, and what sort of remedy they might provide, made her even nervous. She’d already been anxious at the idea that the elderly physician would be performing her Proem in less than two days. Now, that didn’t seem to be the case.
Zora’s tone was more empathetic. “It seems the physician’s age prevents him from performing the ceremony, child.” She tipped her head to the side and gave Kit a moment to ponder how that could be. “As you may remember, he had difficulties at the last Proem Ceremony, that of your cousin, Isla.”
Of course, Isla had told her how she’d felt next to nothing during the ceremony and how it had been during her Exploration that the true discomfort she’d been expecting had come to pass. Kit nodded her head.
“We have discussed the possibilities of having the physician perform the ceremony using something else, some other device, but the law clearly states that the Proem must be completed by a male’s member. It cannot be a substitute device.” Rona seemed exasperated.
Not wanting to let her naïveté embarrass her, Kit pondered exactly what her mother was saying, though she wasn’t exactly clear. She kept her lips closed and her ears wide open.
“We thought perhaps another man could be chosen to perform it, some sort of a lottery,” Zora continued.
“But I know my daughter well enough to understand that solution would not be a wise decision. You would become fascinated with that man, and that is not what the Proem is about. Remember, this is a medical procedure. It is a ceremonial removing of the barrier inside a woman’s body, that which separates her childhood from adulthood, and symbolizes a passing into a phase when she deserves to be completely pleasured in whatever ways she desires.”
That much Kit understood in its entirety. She nodded again.
“We have thought of a possible solution, but it is an involved process, and it may not be wholly lawful.” It was the first time Nill had spoken, and her gentle voice was a comfort to Kit in her overwhelmed state.
“We propose that it be a member of your guard, chosen in secret such that no one will know precisely who he is. He shall perform the Proem Ceremony under the direction of Mikali, and then you shall never be aware of who served you in such a capacity, thus preventing you from developing any unnecessary emotional attachment to him.” Her mother presented her with the solution as if she were stating a medical diagnosis, and Kit raised both eyebrows, trying to determine exactly how what she described might be done.
Zora spread her long white gown around her knees and took a deep breath. “We would ask any members of your guard who may be interested to present themselves to the physician to ensure they are disease free and clear of any ailments that might prevent them from performing the ceremony.”
“Since they are all inspected regularly, Mikali would know if any were of questionable health,” Nill continued.
“Then, the physician would randomly choose twenty of those who volunteered, assuming there maybe more than that. Those twenty would all be blindfolded and covered so that no one may know who they are, not even the physician. He would then arbitrarily select one of them to perform the ceremony while the rest wait within an area where it would be impossible to tell who had been selected. Once the procedure was over, the only person who would know who performed the Proem would be the man himself. We will ensure that he understands, should he speak a word to anyone, he will lose his head.” The queen seemed satisfied with her explanation, but Kit still had several questions.
She reflected on what the council members and her mother had stated for a moment before drawing in a deep breath and asking, “May I make inquiry?”
“Of course,” Zora said at the same time her mother said, “That’s not necessary.”
“Rona, dear, allow the child to speak,” Zora pressed, gently. “She is frightened, can’t you see?”
“There’s simply nothing to be frightened of,” the queen protested. “It’s easy enough. You shall lie there while he enters you, and then the ceremony is over. Once your Clearing is complete, you may lay with whomever you choose for the next three years before your Choosing begins. What is there to fear?”
“Forgive me, Mother,” Kit replied, clearing her throat and running her hands down the length of her skirt again. “I was only going to ask how Mikali would assist. Would the guard be blindfolded during the ceremony? Wouldn’t he need to see?”
The ladies considered the second question quietly before Rona shrugged her perfectly straight shoulders beneath her dark gown and said, “I suppose we could make it so that he could see if necessary, but his face would need to remain completely covered.”
“And you do not think I know the members of my guard well enough to recognize who he is?” Kit’s mind flickered through the familiar faces, the ones who accompanied her through the hall, watched over her while she was in the garden or the library. What would it be like to know that one of them had been inside of her, and he was the only one who knew? Would she constantly question who it might be? Would he slip up and give himself away?
“We will make sure he is unrecognizable.” The queen seemed confident in her resolve. “And Mikali would simply ensure the ceremony is performed properly.”
“Would the guard be exposed to the crowd? Or would he only reveal himself beneath the sheets?” Kit wondered
“What difference does it make?” Clearly the queen was growing exasperated with her daughter now.
“I should think a lesser number of guards would wish to take part if they were about to expose themselves to the entire Royal Court,” she argued. “Also, would Mikali exclude those who are already wed?” She knew there were at least a few members of her guard who had wives, and she couldn’t imagine having one of them perform the ceremony.
“Fine, he does not need to be exposed. That can happen beneath the sheets. And yes, of course, no married men will be involved.” Rona answered quickly.
That would leave forty or so gentlemen who may be eligible. Would even half of them step forward? She had no idea. Since it was her understanding that most men did not receive the same sort of pleasure from sexual relations as women did, she feared none of them would want the duty. Of course, this was not a sexual act, she reminded herself. It was simply a medical procedure….
“We are settled then,” Rona said, dismissively. “This is how it shall be done. I shall sign a decree. And then… we shall set about finding a healthier physician. After all, you do have younger cousins who will require the procedure someday. I hope that you will also have a daughter in the coming years. It shouldn’t do for her to also be afflicted with this unconventional method.”
The fact that her mother found their solution so distasteful made Kit wonder if this was the right answer or not, but there was nothing she could do to change it now. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss with me, Mother?”
“No, that is all,” Rona replied and gave her daughter a dismissive nod.
Kit rose, a few questions lingering in her mind that she dared not ask now that her mother had given her leave. The rest of the council, even those who had not spoken, gave her reassuring smiles as the princess curtsied to her mother and then backed to the door. The guards beyond opened it so that she could make her way through without turning her back to her mother.
In the hall, Galter and the other guard waited for her. She knew the doors were thick, but she thought perhaps they had some idea what was discussed as they would not look directly at her, and their cheeks were slightly pinked. She looked at each of them again and then redirected her eyes to the long marble hall in front of her. Could she in good conscious walk alongside her guards knowing that one of them knew her so intimately? She had no idea how she might do such a thing, but she would have to discover a way to put it out of her mind as she had little control over any of it, like most aspects of her life. Once her mother had made up her mind, there was no going back. Kit wondered what would be worse—the guard or the physician--and decided that either choice was horrid.
The celebration for Katrinetta’s eighteenth birthday was the most elaborate affair she’d ever witnessed. Despite her mother’s inability to otherwise show any sort of fondness for her daughter, she had seen that every last detail of both the dinner and the ball that followed were of the utmost regality in both luxury and lavishness.The dinner had consisted of sixteen courses, including Kit’s favorite, a roasted lamb chop that was the head chef’s specialty, though Kit could hardly take more than a few bites by the time the eighth course was served. Likewise, her favorite chocolate mousse had nearly gone untasted. By the time the dancing began, she was quite certain her elegant blue gown, adorned with thousands of sapphires in various sizes, would burst at the seams, and she was considering ducking away for a few moments so that one of her ladies could loosen her corset.That wouldn’t do, however, so she tried to take more shallow brea
Kit seemed to be enjoying herself. Whether or not that made him happy, Eli wasn’t sure, but he supposed it was better than watching her spend the entire night standing in a corner, shaking like a leaf, or cowering from her mother. The queen, on the other hand, had a heavy eye, and too often it bore down on him, despite the fact that he hadn’t so much as approached the princess the entire duration of the dinner or the ball.He had to admit, it was difficult for him to pull his eyes away from her, though. Part of it was because it was his duty to keep her safe, but mostly it was because she was so exquisite. Kit had always been lovely, delicate like a flower or the wings of a butterfly. Her porcelain skin was smooth as satin, and her dark hair and lashes shined in even the dimmest light. Her sparkling blue eyes had a way of making a person feel completely at ease, be it a friend or a stranger, and when they fell on him, he felt like the most important person in the
Despite the warning glare from the queen, who turned her head fully in their direction now, Eli began to lead the princess around the dance floor. The smile on Kit’s face made it all worth it, even if he would get quite the tongue lashing from the queen later—or perhaps an actual lashing. She had threatened as much before.“This is much more like it,” Kit said next to his ear as he held her close. “None of those other gentlemen have any idea how to dance.”“None of them?” he asked, breathing in the warm scent of honey and lavender, an aroma he’d come to associate with Kit long ago.“Not a single one.” She looked up into his eyes, and he caught a twinkle there. For a moment, she looked more at ease than she had been in as long as he could remember, certainly since before the announcement of her Proem. But then, as if thoughts of the ceremony also filled her mind, the spark that was there faded, and
Kit leaned back against the cold stone wall that protected her from a drop off of over a hundred feet. The barrier reached past her waist, so he was certain she was safe, but he moved toward her anyway, just to be sure, and also because he simply couldn’t stay away from her any longer.“Even after the Proem is over,” Kit began, her eyes downcast, as if she were simply thinking aloud, “I’ll begin my Exploration. And I’m not sure… that is to say, it might be difficult to proposition a man, to invite him to pleasure me. Especially one I do not know.”“I should think it would be easier with the ones you do not know.” He knew his own words did him a disservice, but at the same time, he couldn’t imagine being with her and not getting to keep her. He felt that he’d rather never know what it was like to lay with her than to do so and then quietly slip away as she fell into the embrace of dozens of other m
Kit sat on the low stool in front of the mirror in her chambers as her ladies worked on her hair. Already dressed in the simple white gown she would wear for her Proem Ceremony in less than an hour, she tried not to look at her own reflection or look down at what she was wearing as it served as a reminder of where she would be headed next, and she would just as soon be going anywhere else.Her ladies had both assured her there was nothing to fear and even thought the council’s idea of having one of her guards perform the ceremony rather than the feeble physician was a good one. “He will likely be more capable,” Isla had offered in her meek voice.“He will likely be more fulfilling,” Avinia had joked, and both of her cousins had giggled, though Kit had not. She had reminded them that this was a medical procedure, not a pleasuring, and they both assured her that they were aware; they were only teasing.But there was nothing humorous a
The queen stepped forward so that she was standing at the end of the aisle. Kit continued to make her way in that direction. Avinia and Isla were nudging her forward, the guards staying out in the hallway.Once she somehow managed to reach the front of the room and found herself standing next to her mother, the queen began to say a few words, reminding those in assembly of how important this ceremony was and what it meant to their realm that the heir to the throne would be embarking on a journey to find her mate, which would in turn allow her to create an heir. Kit heard very little of it, however, as she stood with her face frozen in a half-smile, half-grimace she could not control and thought about the table behind her.“For the goddesses and our realm, I call upon you now, Katrinetta Ronatta, Princess of All the Lands East of the Galacial Mountains and Princess of the Provinces South of the Compazional Sea, to fulfill your duty as the heiress to the throne. No
Sunlight infiltrated Kit’s chambers as one of her ladies flung the curtains open, and the princess groaned in protest. She’d stayed up far too late the night before, dancing, drinking wine, and carrying on like a silly girl with her friends at the festival that followed her Proem Ceremony, and now that morning was here, her head ached, and she’d rather bury her face back beneath the downy pillows of her bed than acknowledge the day’s arrival.“Katrinetta,” Avinia’s voice beckoned as her shoulder was shaken, gently at first, and then a bit more violently. “Open your eyes. You need to get up!”Kit couldn’t think of a single reason in the world why she would need to get out of bed. She hadn’t slept well these past several weeks in anticipation of the ceremony, and now that it was over, she longed to make up for all of that lost time. But Avinia was insistent, so Kit opened one eye and looked at her incredul
Aeros, Eli’s horse, who was standing a few feet away, whinnied impatiently. Eli glanced behind him and saw the other two soldiers shifting uncomfortably. Kit assumed they were told to be gone by a certain time or to arrive by a certain hour, and she was delaying them. She caught her breath and fought tears, glancing over her shoulder at Galter and the other man, a tall, agile looking fellow with red hair she couldn’t name.“Listen, Kit, I need to go. But perhaps it’s for the better. We both know….” He paused, looking into her eyes, and she knew what the end of that sentence would be. There was no need for him to say it. They both knew it was never meant to be. Her mother would fight it at every turn, and even if he were to stay for her Exploration, he’d never be part of her Choosing. Kit would even go so far as to say, if he stood a chance at being selected as his province’s Representative, her mother would find some way to man