05| Virgin Mary

LACY

"Hopeless! This is hopeless!" I whined, attempting to fit into one of the many dresses Macy owned.

I hadn't been home since the day I called the engagement off. I've been trying to ignore my mother's phone calls and messages but she made it so difficult.

"Squeeze your fat ass into something!" Macy demanded as she fought the zipper of the dress, struggling to close it, "Who asked you to be so curvy? Damn you, woman!"

Macy was as thin as a stick. If the wind blew strong enough I could have probably tied a string to her and flown her as a kite. However, her beauty made her fit to be a supermodel. She never thought she would meet the grade, her self confidence lacked in that way but I could see what she couldn't. I could see the beautiful, strong woman she had become over the years.

"You think anyone in church would notice if I only zipped the dress halfway up?" She backed away, crossing her arms over her chest.

I turned around placing my hands on the full curves of my hips. I loved my body and its hourglass figure. I looked sexy in anything I wore and even sexier when I wore nothing at all. What can I say? I was blessed with a naturally curvy body but I've never put it to use before.

Hard to believe right?

Macy always called me virgin Mary because I always chickened out. I had never felt comfortable with anyone or trusted anyone to give myself, to entrust my body, to fully immerse myself and indulge myself in that kind of pleasure.

That was until I met Lucifer and sex was all that I could think about.

This was pure lust and for some reason I loved it.

"Yes, they would notice!" I furrowed my eyebrows at her and pouted like a five year old who wasn't getting her way and truth be told, I wasn't.

"Nobody told you to cut your hair so short," with that, she rolled her eyes and threw me one last dress to try on.

It looked bigger than the others she had handed me. Why didn't she lead with this dress? It looked amazing as well and when I tried it on it fitted like a charm.

It was a strapless dress with a deep sweetheart neckline. The dress was simple. It was black, knee length with full lace over an under layer of satan. It looked elegant and made me feel like a woman. A real woman. It had a silk belt hugging the material of the dress to my waist, shaping my hourglass figure effortlessly.

Macy stood behind me as she oh so carefully tied a neat bow at the back. I stood there gawking at myself in the mirror. The dress was graceful which was the complete opposite of me. Its simplicity made it extravagant. It showcased the best part of my body, my breasts and it represented my name, Lacy Black.

"Happy birthday fat ass," Macy sarcastically murmured.

Then, like a hammer to my brain, it dawned upon me the reason the dress fitted so well.

"I guess it's a good thing I never wrapped the thing. What a waste of my precious time that would have been," she faked a yawn with a bored expression plastered on her dainty face.

I turned around and wrapped my arms around Macy's neck, "Thank you, I love it!"

"Oh shush, don't start crying now. You can give me my gift on our birthday, I don't mind."

I smiled and nodded in understanding.

In a few minutes, I would be facing the music, my father I mean. Unfortunately for me, every Sunday morning was Sunday mass and my parents along with Macy's parents attended the same church. It was the one time in my father's life where he would put his status aside for the sake of his beliefs. I actually commended him on that because knowing the type of man my father was it must have been hard to associate himself with people below him.

I'd also have to face Brian. The best way to describe Brian would be like a little parasite that just wouldn't leave you alone. My father and Brian's father did some business together back in the day and lost contact after that. When Mr. Larson joined the church, father was thrilled to catch up and was even more thrilled that he had found a suitable match for me because apparently, I couldn't choose a life partner myself. I felt father was being quite orthodox but I kept my mouth shut and did as I was told because the man was handsome.

Handsome on the outside at least!

Inside he was a monster. A cold creature that fed of the pain and suffering he caused you. He was the type of man who treated you like a queen but then cheated on you. He was the type that would become a torturous psychopath when things didn't go his way. He was the type to raise his hand to a woman just because she didn't bow down and grovel at his feet.

I was done with it. I was done with it all!

Father never believed me when I complained and always said I was making an excuse to get out of this. Mother would simply console me and then tell me to watch my tongue around Brian. 'Prevention is better than cure' she said.

But I knew my worth and I was worth much more than the way Brian treated me. I wasn't about to let someone else run my life whilst I sat back like I had no choice.

I was not weak like they all thought I was and it was time I proved it.

I should have left him after the first time he degraded me to the extent I felt like nothing just because I caught him cheating. That should have been enough for me to leave. But the urge to make my father proud made me stay. My whole life my father looked at me with disapproval and I thought staying and doing what he wanted would make him look at me as his actual daughter for once.

But now I've just stopped caring. I just wanted to do me, think about me, make me happy and somehow everyone just needed to accept that.

Sometimes, I wished that aunt Coral and uncle B were my parents. They were understanding and loved me for me. They were the only ones who actually wanted the best for me and didn't have any selfish motives behind everything they did.

Soon after I got dressed, Uncle B drove us all to church. I sat in church with Macy and her parents. I could spot father, mother and my two brothers a couple of rows in front of us. Generally, we would have all been seated together but I could tell that Macy's parents' chose not to so I could have some breathing room.

Sean and Dean, my spawn of the devil brothers, seemed to be bickering amongst themselves about something. It was rather adorable and yet amusing to watch the little eight year olds fight and taunt each other. So carefree and innocent. No worries, no stress, no problems.

Sometimes, I wished I could just go back to being a kid. Maybe just for a day. If I could go back in time, I would never say the words 'I wish I were older' or 'I wish I were an adult'. What I would have done is enjoy the carefree life of a child.

And then I saw him. Sitting next to my father. His broad shoulders moved up and down as if he were laughing at something my father had said.

How dare he! Both my father and him should have sunk along with the titanic.

How could these two men sit and share a joke as if they weren't planning to ruin my entire life? How could they be so hypocritical in church? I couldn't help but hope and pray that they got struck down by lighting for being such unworthy creatures.

Right now, I wished I happened to be best buds with Thor or even pikachu! At this point, I was desperate and getting pissed off fast.

I breathed in deeply, closed my eyes and prayed for patience or for enough energy and strength to bash the fuckers head in but preferably patience.

Then he turned around, stared me dead in the eye with his blue raw eyes. There was a glint in them. Something in them said "I've got you now. There's nowhere to run".

But I didn't want to run. My patience was wearing thin fast and I didn't care where I was all I wanted to do was stomp over there and knee him in the nut sack.

The Lord would understand, right?

My eyes left his anchoring stare and roamed across his face. His appearance made me cringe. Lucifer had really done a number on him.

Brian's left eye was a bluish purple and swollen to an extent he could barely keep it open. His lips had stitches from it being lacerated by the force of Lucifer's anger fueled blows. His nose looked as if it had been broken and then snapped back into position.

All of the damage was done to the left side of his face. Lucifer must have been right handed for sure and by the looks of things he was strong too.

I would bet everything I owned that Brian only came to church today so he could tell everyone how his fiancé was such a bitch and got him beaten up for no reason. It was all a game to him and I'd be damned if I let him win by using that sympathy card.

Church ended quicker than I had anticipated, everyone shook hands and greeted one another before diving into never ending conversations about business, the service or plain old gossip.

Macy and I stood next to aunt Coral as she spoke to the old lady who always handed us toffees as children. That's where Macy got her love for toffee from and that's where I got my hatred for it. The staff was way too sticky and when I was around eleven it got stuck to my tooth and pulled the entire thing out.

I cupped my cheek remembering the horrifying incident that made me never want to touch the nasty stuff again. I wasn't risking another tooth.

"Your girls have grown so big. They don't look anything alike," the old lady said. I vividly remembered her name as Ms. Jenson.

Why would I look anything like Macy? Coral and my mother were identical twins but Macy and I had different fathers. Of course, we looked different.

I chucked it off to the woman's old age and the fact she didn't remember that my parents were two completely different people.

I felt an eery presence behind me and a shadow cast over me. A broad shadow that wasn't that much taller than me.

"Nowhere to run, where's your hero when you need him?" Brian hissed into my ear from behind, soft enough for only me to hear. His nose grazed the tip of my ear causing me to wince.

I spun around as anger coursed through my veins and fueled my every action. I didn't need a hero to save me and I wasn't thinking about running either. If he wanted to play dirty I was going to show him that I could too.

He rolled his bottom lip between his teeth sinking his teeth into it. A smug, cynical smirk spread across his mangled up face.

I cocked my head up at him, "Your face looks better than it did before. You should thank my hero!" I sarcastically beamed mustering one helluva fake smile.

He took a threatening step toward me. His face tangled in anger. He opened his mouth to say something but was stopped when a man, the height of Brian, gently squeezed his shoulder as to remind Brian of his surroundings. Brian's face immediately changed as if the exchange we just had hadn't occurred at all.

"Brian, son, have you and my daughter sorted everything out?" My father asked, shooting me a side glare.

I rolled my eyes and huffed in annoyance but stayed silent, not wanting my anger to allow me to blurt something I would regret later on.

"Everything will happen as planned," Brian nodded staring at me for approval.

"No!" I pushed my hands against his chest, shoving him with all my might but he didn't even flinch in the slightest. "There's no wedding and that's final!" I declared harshly in a whisper making sure not to cause a scene.

Wouldn't want to ruin father's reputation amongst the people here now would we?

"Don't be difficult Lacy!" My father reprimanded, furrowing his eyebrows at me in what looked like annoyance, anger, and disappointment all in one.

"Difficult? You don't want me to be difficult!" my voice louder than I expected, laced with venomous anger, "You don't want me to be difficult because you are too bothered with keeping yourself happy. You don't even care if the people around you are happy or not. As long as they are doing your bidding why should you give a flying fuck right?"

"You watch your language and tone with me, young lady," My father rebuked, raising a finger to my face.

Without allowing myself to think I grabbed his finger forcefully, daring him to continue. "I don't want to hear you and your excuses. I'm sick of it and I'm sick of you. You should be ashamed of yourself!" With that, I turned on my heel and walked away taking each step quicker than the last until I got to a point where it looked as if I was speed walking.

I'm sure my ass swayed from side to side and I'm positive that it looked sexy as hell because it earned me a good few whistles.

I paused for a second and stepped out of the heels Macy had let me borrow. Sometimes it was a good thing that at least our shoe sizes matched.

Macy shot me a knowing look as I began my barefoot sprint to get the hell out of there.

I didn't want to run but I couldn't stay knowing that I was outnumbered. I didn't know where I was running to but the destination wasn't important.

I wanted to stop thinking of the traitor I called a father so I focused on the rapid pace of my heartbeat. It felt as if my heart had been doing loop di loops in my chest but not the happy kind. It was the kind that was depressing and caused an unwanted pang in my chest. I focused on my breathing which fastened and deepened to cope with my sudden adrenaline boost. I focused on the feel on the cement floor underneath my feet as they repeatedly slapped the sidewalk. It caused a slight sting each time my feet hit the ground. That sting motivated, pushed and urged me to go further, faster, stronger.

I felt something hot trickle down my cheeks. I hadn't realised I was crying.

But why was I crying? I wasn't weak, I was just unfortunate.

The hot, salty fluid that leaked out of my eyes didn't prove anything besides the fact that I was only human and that I felt immense pain knowing that my father sided with a man who would kill me if he was given the option.

I ran. And ran. And ran.

~~~

I was stupid to run all the way into town barefoot with no money to buy a new pair of shoes so I found myself lurking outside Malik's coffee shop.

I never stepped foot inside when I caught a glimpse of Lucifer standing at the cash register. A part of me didn't care what he thought but another part, a stronger part of me didn't want him to think that I was either stalking him or that I was perfectly insane and walking aimlessly, barefoot in the streets of Cali. I still had some pride at least.

But what was I thinking coming here? I couldn't stand outside the shop forever.

Somehow, in a strange way, I felt drawn to him. As if there was a magnetic attraction between us that pulled me to him no matter how much I repelled.

That's a lie! You never once tried to repel!

My subconscious was a traitor too. Perfect!

You couldn't blame me though. He was so gorgeous that it made my mouth water. So manly in his stature. So confident about himself. Every girl in that coffee shop couldn't help but gawk at his everything. He was hot.

And this is just lust!

What if it wasn't?

Of course, it is. All you think about is how he would look butt ass naked or how he would look fucking you!

No, that wasn't true! I wanted to get to know him and his dark secrets that he seemed to conceal so well behind those bottle green eyes of his.

Really? What if you don't like what you find out?

Dammit! I shook the thought straight out of my head. When did I start arguing with myself and overthinking?

This was his fault! All his fault!

Before I met Lucifer I never felt so unsure about something. He made me do things that I usually would never do.

I couldn't help but join the rest of the girls inside the coffee shop gawking at his masculinity. Except, I stood at a safe distance outside staring, watching and maybe even waiting.

Maybe I wanted him to see me. Maybe I wanted to catch his attention because I needed the company. He made me forget. He undoubtedly, without even trying, was my oh so perfect distraction to the world's catastrophes over my puny excuse of a life.

Unknowingly he kept drawing me in. If he was the bait I would surely be the catch without a single drop of hesitation. There were plenty of fish in the sea but he was a shark and I wanted that shark so badly. He could devour me any day and I wasn't only talking about physically. He could devour my soul and drown me in his.

I couldn't explain why I felt this way and I didn't care for an explanation either. All I wanted to do was absorb his presence and immerse myself in those cold, hard eyes of his. I didn't need to say a single word and neither did he. His eyes said enough for me.

My eyes followed his every movement. I watched him intensely as he walked from the cash register over to Malik. Malik said something to him in what looked like a hushed tone. I watched Lucifer nod his head once and smirk mischievously as he walked to the entrance of the coffee shop. I couldn't peel my eyes off him. I didn't want to peel my eyes off him.

I gulped down fresh air as Lucifer's tall, dark presence mesmerized me into what I could only describe as a trance. His eyes bored into mine, captivating me, paired with his blank, expressionless face.