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YOU CAN'T BE A MUSE AND BE HAPPY TOO
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD ALL ROADS THAT LEAD ME TO YOU ARE AS INTEGRAL TO ME AS ARTERIES
STORMIt’s the beeping sound that I notice at first. I hear a shushed conversation then a door locks. I open my eyes, and I already know that what happened, what I was hoping in all of my heart to be a dream, is not a dream at all.I am in a white room, and I know I am in the hospital. My leg is suspended in front of me, my hand is in a cast, and my other one is in bandages.I feel tears cascading down my face. I am alone. and I am in this incredibly powerful pain, but it's not physical. It's in my heart. I feel my body shaking as I try to stifle my sob but I can't.I miss them, oh god I miss them so much. I want to be with them, I wish they were here with me but I feel like they are miles away from me. I didn't know if I can live like this.The door opens and I don’t even bother hiding that I am crying or the deep sadness that’s etched on my face. a woman with white hair and a man get in the room and she immediately looks worried.“you are awake, honey what's wrong, you are crying,”
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD NOBODY SAID IT WOULD LAST FOREVER, BUT THAT DIDN'T MEAN WE WOULDN'T TRY
DEANIt started slowly.First, it was the headaches and then it was followed by him feeling like his bones were breaking like he was transitioning without meaning to.And now he is barely awake.Cole has been suffering and we don’t know what to do. ever since last week, I can only assume she has been getting further and further away and that’s why Cole is getting ill.He is getting sick from being apart from her. we haven’t started feeling the effects, and we don’t know if we can feel the effects, but I am worried. We are always on the road, after we held a funeral for Xaver, we couldn’t leave his body lying like that.We laid him to rest with his friends, our fathers.That was yesterday. It was a grim day. we stood there silent, only in attendance as we looked at the gravestones of our fathers and we didn’t feel a damn thing.That’s when I started thinking that maybe we are monsters. That maybe after all they wanted us to be we dud become them, only with a touch of something more. We
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD MAGDALINE THE ORACLE ELDER
STORM“I have been waiting for you.”“Who are you?”“Magdaline.”“wha- what do you mean you have been waiting for me? is this your place?”“you don’t seem well. Perhaps we can talk more inside, come.”The woman walks past me and opens the door, leaving it open as she gets in and I am stranded at the threshold, wondering if I would be nuts if I truly got in. I don’t know this strange woman, what if she is an enemy?”“I assure you I am not your enemy, storm. Now get inside and lie down on the couch. We need to get that awful thing around you that’s blocking your healing.”I swallow hard and I step inside, the door closing behind me. she can read minds, I wonder what else she can do if I dare argue with her. So I lie on the couch, my eyes roving around the place. It's warm, has lots of natural light, and is very spacious.“you have a beautiful place,” I say as I lie there, my breathing settling and my body feeling grateful I am lying down.“mmh. So, you took quite some time getting here.
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD YOU BRING ME TO MY KNEES WITH YOUR KNIFE IN MY HEART, AND YET ALL I SEE IS YOU
COLE I was calling on her. My hand was reaching out for hers but I couldn’t find hers … her fingers weren’t touching mine. she wasn’t here with me, she wasn’t near me and that was killing me. Literally. I could feel my brother's worries. I could feel their despair and I could feel the way they were scared for the first time in our lives. They didn’t have to, I knew that she didn’t want us to be, she didn’t mean to make us this way. That’s why when I felt the wall, the barrier that was keeping me away from her fall away, I exhaled. That’s when I felt like I could breathe again, but I still didn’t have the energy to tell the boys that she was free, that we could talk to her. I could feel her energy flow to me, like a balm to my tight muscles, like a breath of fresh air, cool and so nice I signed. Kyle touched my sweaty hot skin and then told the boys that I was cooling down. They had stopped to try to find a way to find her. I could hear all they said, I just didn’t have the ener
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE
STORM“you have been through a lot, you should rest.”I can feel my own body begging me to sleep. I haven’t slept well, I don’t think I have rested, and right now I am on the brink of falling apart here on this couch.“I prepared a room for you, I will show you,” Magdaline starts to walk and I I don’t move from the couch.Truth is, it's all coming to me now. I have killed Xaver, I am no longer running, looking over my shoulder and I have buried all the monsters from the past.My past.‘I don’t think I will sleep even if I go there,” I admit quietly.She shuffles back to the seat near me and sits down.“you have been through a lot,” she repeats and I nod, smiling sadly.“you see everything, I am sure you have a recollection of my past week or so. I can't exactly sleep, because … the nightmares keep getting to me,” I shrug.“you did what you have wanted to do after all these years.”At the cost of my heart, I didn’t know it was capable of anything but pumping blood in my veins.“And yet
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD AN ALPHA HE WAS
STORM“is there anything else that I don't know that might have …”I can't even bring myself to speak. It would be … useless because I can't change the past.“Nothing, only about the relationship you had with your mother. I guess that’s why you were quick to help her even as she used you to gain what she wanted.”I jump from the couch. “she didn’t use me! She cared about me and our reconnection, I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that!”Magdaline sips her tea calmly like I am not throwing a fit in the middle of her living room.“I can't spring everything on you, you are fragile your mind is weak right now. you are sleep deprived and you are heartbroken. We will talk more later.”“I don’t- I am not good with authoritarian figures. So don’t try to tell me what to do.”“your attitude reminds me of your father. You are like him in many ways you don’t realize.”That shuts me up and I sit down. Ever since my father died, it was like the memory of him, his existence died along with him,
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD MAYBE ONE MORE TIME
STORMBeing ambitious, ruthless, deceptive, keeping a smile on my face with hate in my heart, Be a cold calculating monster, is what I lived by.Until them.They are monsters who showed me, love. The monsters who showed me there is more in this life other than hate and pain, blood and war. They made me believe that a monster like me can belong. That I can find salvation.They took me in and loved me. they made me part of their pack. After walking as a lone wolf for a long time.I never cared if I got hurt before, it was only skin, and it could regenerate. If a bone broke, it could fix itself. I would heal. I was living in auto mode, as I sought the blood of those who wronged me.I never thought that my heart would be hurting. I never thought it could hurt like this and the pain was them. The boys whose families I destroyed without a second thought.Why is letting them go so hard? They are in my dreams, in my waking moments, they are in my head all the time, their faces filtering throu
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD NO ONE KEEPS THEIR PROMISE TO ME
LANDON “Do you know where we are going?”Forest surrounds us and there is no road to mark that where we are following Cole’s direction that there is direction.“I feel her like a thread tugging me to go this way. I think we should go on,” he says and I nod, jaw clenched.I am a nervous wreck. I don’t know what to expect. I know she is okay, as Cole seems to be doing so much better and he says that she is okay as well.“Hey, you okay?” Dean squeezes my shoulder and I look up at him. Kyle is driving as Cole tells him where to turn.“no,” o admit as I look at my brother. “we don’t know if she wants to see us, but we are finding her. we do know if she wants us to save her, which is what we are going to do.”“what about you? how do you feel knowing that you will be seeing her, possibly today?” he asks me and I sigh, looking at my palms.“I have no idea. I have been strung on the fact that I thought she had died, which made me feel like I was being robbed of my very breathe,” I say as I sh
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ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD THE ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD
STORM Landon and I have been on the road for a week now and right now, we are on our way back home. It's so early, and I am quiet in my seat as I look outside the window as he drives. My whole life changed when I met them, and I cannot take it back, every single of them. I don’t regret any of it. I have decided to go home knowing that there is always going to be darkness in me, it's there to stay, and the best part of it is, I have found boys who want to join in on my darkness. They have shared theirs and invited me into theirs. It's my time to let them in and invite them on in mine. For great love, you must go through the pain. To have all that you desire, you must sacrifice. Pain and love go hand in hand, for you cannot love if you don’t feel the pain of it, it goes together. You cannot know what you have until you have lost it all. And that’s what I realized during my break. I did what I had to do, even went away for a minute from my love to know how true that statement was.
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD YOU AND I, TILL THE DAY WE DIE
STORM The bar around ends up being a biker's bar, with several bikers packed at the front. I shouldn’t, it's rowdy, and if I am guessing, when they see me alone some will try to hit on me taking me for a fragile little thing that has ended up where she isn’t supposed to. Even before I let that thought to sink in, I am already opening the door, the little bell at the top of the door chiming, and the whole bar goes quiet, all eyes turning towards me. I pause, taking it all in and all the people in. Burly men, tattoos covering their skins heavily, leather jackets and studs on some, a few girls on their laps, and they all look mean and menacing. I proceed to walk towards the tabletop counter where a woman bartender is watching me. everyone is watching me and after I sit down, when they realize I am not going away, they resume their talking. “what will you have?” she asks as she wipes a glass with the towel. “something that will make sure I have a good time tonight,” I reply as I hol
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD FEMME FATALE ERA
STORMDemons - Hayley Kiyoko is blasting off my speakers as I speed past cars on the highway. Singing along as I beat the steering wheel, wind in my hair as I come from a kill that left me freshly rejuvenated.It should worry me a great deal that the only thing that’s making me feel alive again is killing, but that thought only makes me laugh.I mean, who am I to deny who I am? Maybe it was destined for me to finally embrace this dark side of me without painting it to be a burden, like a means to an end to my purpose.I have no purpose now, other than to feel me again and love me.That’s a good purpose, I didn’t think I was all about self-love and all, I think to myself as I look at my blood-caked nails.I need to find a place to sleep in tonight, perhaps eat human food, cook of course, and sleep. Then tomorrow I do the same thing, I have a long list of people to unalive.I find a motel and check in, and I thank the gods for the showerhead, which has a fairly decent water pressure.I
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD I WON'T MISS YOU
STORMI never thought it could happen, but it is.I am standing by my Impala, looking at Ridgewood one last time before I speed away and I feel like I am leaving my soul and heart behind.This could be one of the things I will ever regret doing. I can't seem to remember why I am doing this because it hurts so much, but it's all for the better.I wipe away the tear sliding down my cheek and get in my car, revving the engine and speeding away.Back on the road again, alone, leaving all that I have ever wanted behind.I open my compartment glove and I find my old burner phone. I flip it open and find the number I am looking for.“hey Stevie, I need a job.”“Long time Cherry, where are you?”I am heading north, can you find me something worth my while?”“anything for you, but aren’t you rusty? Rumour has it-““Are you sending me the coordinates to a good hunt or not? I didn’t take you for a gossip.”“All I am saying is, now you are not as incognito as before, be careful out there.”“I did
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD THE CEREMONY
KYLE It’s a rainy gloomy day. It must be matching with my moods and those around me as we all await our bride to walk up to us. The ceremony is being held outdoors, the planners had thought that the day would be sunny and warm, but the rain has started and hasn’t stopped since an hour ago. I don’t mind, as I know this is not exactly how I wanted us to do this so here we are. “why did she not choose the other location that was offered?” Dean asks me quietly as we stand at the front of the huge tent serving as our shelter. They still managed to pull it off with the lowers, it would look magical was it not for the bitterness and bad taste in my mouth about this day. “doesn't matter, we are not here to party, we are just a means to an end for her to leave us,” I respond to him. “Can we all stop doing this? It's already in motion so let's get this over with,” Landon mutters. None of us have been in good shape or moods since last week when she said that she wanted to leave and the o
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD THE ICE QUEEN
STORMI find myself at Magdaline’s new house's doorstep.I press the doorbell before I think myself out of this.“come in honey,” she opens the door and waves me in I can feel all the walls drop down and I whimper as she pulls me into an embrace.“I have messed up everything,” I cry as she holds me.She soothes me and takes me to the couch. There is a young girl in the house who has been helping her and she brings me some tea and then leaves.“you have been through so much baby,” she says ss he pushes hair off my face.“I'm so tired,” I whisper as I curl on the couch, head on her lap.“I know,” she validates me. I go ahead and tell her all that has happened and she cries with me, and I feel so sleepy.“I don’t know if they will ever forgive me, but I need to get away.”“There is only one way that you can go away and they remain here unaffected by your absence.”“I will do it, anything. I need to fix myself and maybe one day we will be together again,” I tell her meaning every word.“y
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD DO RIGHT BY US
STORM“so you have been feeling this? all of you?” I ask them and their grim faces tell me everything.“Baby, you shut us down every step we take to help you,” Kyle approaches me and I take a step back.“I don’t want your help,” I tell him and he looks like I have slapped him.I don’t mean to o this, but I don’t think I can stop.“you have been drowning and we have been here asking you how to help you and you have said no. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to save you,” Landon speaks to me gently.“I don’t want to be saved, no one can save me,” I say. I can feel tears scrolling down my face.“why are you doing this?” Dean asks, his voice hurt.I exhale, steeling myself. “because none of you understand.”“Help us then understand you, we love you so much, too much to let you be this way,” Kyle approaches me once again and I let him come close to me. “let us in, please.”I want to give in so much, but it's going to be the same. It's going to feel like it has been for a while now.
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY
STORMMy whole being is cold. My insides are wound tight. I am aware of things that are happening, I can feel everything and I wish I wasn’t.Because tonight is the night all my fears have come true. I have been wishing my life was different for weeks now and tonight, the universe has said yes to them.I just lost my babies, and I know it's all,y doing. It doesn’t matter what they all say or try to tell me, this is my doing. They felt my hesitation, my longing for a different life and they have left me.You know what's stupid, it’s the fact that every time I felt like I was a clown, not being true to the rest of them I would talk to them and confide my true feelings to them.They wouldn’t judge me, they were inside me and they knew what was going on. They had come to be my partners in this ridiculously high life, and now they are gone.To be honest, I feel betrayed. They were here, and now they are gone. It's my fault, and yet a part of me thought that they would never leave.I am so
ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD ALONE IN THE NIGHT
DEANI feel the pain laced through our bond.We have never cried before, but I can feel us all crying. storm has gone quiet, save for the double breathing she is experiencing. Kyle stands up as I take her in my arms straight to the tub.She isn’t even opening her eyes, her face is on my neck, holding on tight. The whole penthouse is quiet as we prepare a bath for her and I start to take off her clothes.She doesn’t let me.“let me get you cleaned up,” I ask her and she shakes her head no.“I need to be alone right now,” she says and I look at the others who all feel like the last thing she needs is to be alone.“Okay,” I say and start getting outside. The boys are hesitant to get out but we finally let her have the space and once the door is locked behind us, I can hear the soft cries.“fuck,” Cole sits outside the door head in his hands.“what the fuck happened?” I ask Landon quietly as I start to realize what has just happened. Storm just miscarried.“We were talking, she had an up
