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IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN HER

Author: Kairal.K
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56
LANDON

It feels like coming up for a breath of fresh air when you finally look and acknowledge the parts of you that you have hidden and avoided for so long.

Seeing Storm break down, fall apart, and admit that Xaver broke her, broke me.

I have been the same.

For anyone to go through that, and still walk like she is, while still carrying so much pain, it take a lot of strength. She made me realize that I have been self-centered, and selfish.

Dinner last night was great, we talked for hours, having a light heartwarming conversation to bring her back into the fold.

It was great but she said to us that it will take her some time, to fully understand her mind, because of what has happened to her in the last months.

And I need to move on, and that’s what I am trying to do today. I take a walk to the waterfall, that’s within walking distance of the compound.

I have missed my mother and my two sisters. They were everything to me. their deaths fucked me up, but I found that light that w
Kairal.K

song to listen to while reading this: love me like you do- ellie goulding

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  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   I LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG

    DEAN Magdaline is helping me make her best dessert. She is the grandmother we have never had, but now that she is here, I feel like I never want her to ever leave. “you do love her,” she says as she instructs me on how to mix. “she is my all, I cannot live without her,” I respond, as I whisk the flour. “you don’t show others how much it means to you that she accepts you all, why do you hide that part of yourself? The caring and soft side?” I stop and look at her, but she is facing the garden. Can she read minds? “I don’t like talking about feelings with my brothers,” I shrug as I get back to my task. “you don’t?” she asks with a smirk and I shake my head laughing. “no. but the only person I have been able to share myself with like that is Storm. My brothers and I all have a role, we get things done. We didn’t grow up in an environment that allows us to express how we feel or be vulnerable,” I admit as my whisking gets rougher. “but you can with her,” she says and I nod. “We h

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   I'M INTO IT

    KYLEWe are taking her back home.I would rather we never went back but then again, who we are doesn't allow us to chuck our responsibilities and move away.That doesn't mean that what we are about to walk back into is going to be torture.We are going to be recognized as the new alphas and that means we get to make adjustments and change the rules that were set by our fathers, rules that have been awful and slowly destroying our community.We are finally going to change the wolf world community, all that we set to do long ago.The storm is packing and I am in her room, seated, watching her.“you could help you know?” she throws a shirt on my face and I grab in, inhaling her scent.“It's much fun watching you,” I reply as I lean on the pillows.“do you think we are going to get credit scores for all the time we have missed in school?”I raise my eyebrow in wonder. She is thinking about school and is probably worried about it.“well, we can get the credit scores without having to do th

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   SEE YOU LATER

    STORMLeaving Magdalene is the hardest to do.I knew wasn’t going to live here forever, but that doesn’t stop the tears flow from my eyes.“I will miss you so much,” I tell her as I try not to ugly cry on her shoulder.“I will miss you too but this isn’t goodbye,” she smoothes my hair and I nod, looking at my feet. I don’t want to look at her and think I am not going to see her again.She has been walking me through that.“It's an I will see you later then,” I repeat what she told me earlier.“yes,” she smiles. “and the boys are with you. if they don’t treat you right I will know and come kick their assets.”I can't help but laugh and we pull in for a hug once again.“Okay. I will see you later,” I bid her goodbye, trying my hardest to let her go and I finally do. Cole is waiting for me and he takes my hand as we walk toward the car.“she is going to be coming to Ridgewood in a few weeks,” he tells me as he helps me inside the car.“I know, I have just grown so close to her.”The boys

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   FIRST DAY AFTER SUMMER BREAK DAY (PART 1)

    STORMI am standing in front of the mirror, looking t my reflection. The skirt length is above the knees, the shirt and the blazer I am wearing, seeing not so bad, I look good, despite it being the school uniform. I am wearing one of my boots, with a short heel, ankle length.I look great.I am going to nail this first day at school after a long break.We had gotten out of going to school right before everyone went for a summer break, and now that it's opening, it all feels like we were in a different period. I never thought my summer break I would be held captive ad tortured, and then I would escape then I would be saved and along those lines meet my long-lost grandmother.Yeah, my break seems like something straight from a movie, a horror movie. To think I will be going back to that school like nothing happened is bizarre.“you look gorgeous, I almost don’t want us to go now that I have seen you,” Dean pops in the doorways and I turn t look at him.“I am glad you like it,” I say as

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   FIRST DAY AFTER SUMMER BREAK (PART 2)

    STORMI walk into the class and everyone is quiet.So far, I don’t know what they are saying about us, or if they know anything.One of the stressors was the gossip that would be circulating once we got back in here, and now it is about to hit me full blast. Lucky for me, Landon is with me, holding my hand.The ones in front of us as we pass to go seat at the back avoid looking at us but I can feel the turning when we pass by them.“This is ridiculous,” I mutter and Landon squeezes my hand. we find seats and I exhale, not daring to look up.“They are looking at you because you are so beautiful, trust me. they can't fathom it,” Landon tells me and I know the ones around us hear it beau they sit straighter.“I am glad you are with me,” I tell him and he pecks my cheek.That’s when a girl, tall, with long luscious blonde hair walks- no, struts in like she owns the place. And behind her, four dudes, equally as beautiful as her and hot I am stunned a little, follow her.They all walk in at

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   IF ITS NOT YOU, ITS NO ONE

    STORM It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be in class right now, probably taking notes but instead … I am tied in this bed, my writs in cuffs that each is linked to my ankles, and Dean is towering above me, blindfolding me. “do you want us to have a safe word?” he asks me as he secures the satin fold properly around my closed eyes. “no, if I don’t feel okay, you will feel it immediately,” I say as I bite my lip. I feel so exposed and very open but it's… in a good way. “I am aware of you,” I softly feel his lips on mine. “I will not miss a thing that you feel and then I will know how to make that experience ten times better.” Kinky sex as wolves who are bonded in mystical ways makes the experience even ten times hotter. I have been lost in my head for a while and I needed this to completely let go, and the dean read my mind like it was his. I can feel his bare skin on mine, as his fingers start to slowly caress my throat, down to my shoulder blades. “you are ve

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   ALPHAS AND BETAS

    COLE Dean gets in the car adjusting the cuffs of his leather jacket, wearing a smirk. “What?” I ask as I fire up the lambo and speed off. “none of your business,” he grunts. “so, what do you think they are going to say?” “they are old croons who have been led by my father's iron fist for decades. I assume they will expect the same ruthlessness,” I say as we turn to a corner, the tires screeching as I propel forward. “We don’t have to do the way things were done by our fathers, we can be open about that, make sure they know it’s a new era so new ways of ruling.” “They are not going to accept it at first, so I think we should wisely do this,” I say as I frown. The meeting with the pack leaders is making me want to punch someone in the throat. I would rather be with Storm, it's bad enough that since we came here I haven’t spent a lot of time with her. “let's see how this goes,” I grimly say as we pull in at one of the leader’s estates. We are yet to decide where we want to live a

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   FINDING MY IDENTITY

    LANDONThey are rubbing me off in the wrong way.The girl is too bubbly and looks like a Barbie doll. And the weird thing is that they are all looking alike. All five of them. storm is napping in my lap as we sun gaze in the field. It's lunch break.“Baby, I think we are about to have company,” I nudge her and she sleepily opens her eyes.I want to kill them for ruining this moment for me, with her.“Hey! We saw you and since we are new here, decided to join you, do you mind?” the girl asks all too loudly.“yes, now get lost,” I snap and Strom looks at me with wide eyes.“no we don’t mind, sit,” she tells the girl and she smiles at her.I look over and see the boys seated a few feet from us. “why isn’t your group joining you?”“Oh,” she pretends to be shy. Can she be any more fake? “they haven’t properly introduced me to you all, so this is me here asking you if we can invite you all to our house party. We just came to Ridgewood and we want to meet its alphas.”“oh, a party, I like th

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  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   THE ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD

    STORM Landon and I have been on the road for a week now and right now, we are on our way back home. It's so early, and I am quiet in my seat as I look outside the window as he drives. My whole life changed when I met them, and I cannot take it back, every single of them. I don’t regret any of it. I have decided to go home knowing that there is always going to be darkness in me, it's there to stay, and the best part of it is, I have found boys who want to join in on my darkness. They have shared theirs and invited me into theirs. It's my time to let them in and invite them on in mine. For great love, you must go through the pain. To have all that you desire, you must sacrifice. Pain and love go hand in hand, for you cannot love if you don’t feel the pain of it, it goes together. You cannot know what you have until you have lost it all. And that’s what I realized during my break. I did what I had to do, even went away for a minute from my love to know how true that statement was.

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   YOU AND I, TILL THE DAY WE DIE

    STORM The bar around ends up being a biker's bar, with several bikers packed at the front. I shouldn’t, it's rowdy, and if I am guessing, when they see me alone some will try to hit on me taking me for a fragile little thing that has ended up where she isn’t supposed to. Even before I let that thought to sink in, I am already opening the door, the little bell at the top of the door chiming, and the whole bar goes quiet, all eyes turning towards me. I pause, taking it all in and all the people in. Burly men, tattoos covering their skins heavily, leather jackets and studs on some, a few girls on their laps, and they all look mean and menacing. I proceed to walk towards the tabletop counter where a woman bartender is watching me. everyone is watching me and after I sit down, when they realize I am not going away, they resume their talking. “what will you have?” she asks as she wipes a glass with the towel. “something that will make sure I have a good time tonight,” I reply as I hol

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   FEMME FATALE ERA

    STORMDemons - Hayley Kiyoko is blasting off my speakers as I speed past cars on the highway. Singing along as I beat the steering wheel, wind in my hair as I come from a kill that left me freshly rejuvenated.It should worry me a great deal that the only thing that’s making me feel alive again is killing, but that thought only makes me laugh.I mean, who am I to deny who I am? Maybe it was destined for me to finally embrace this dark side of me without painting it to be a burden, like a means to an end to my purpose.I have no purpose now, other than to feel me again and love me.That’s a good purpose, I didn’t think I was all about self-love and all, I think to myself as I look at my blood-caked nails.I need to find a place to sleep in tonight, perhaps eat human food, cook of course, and sleep. Then tomorrow I do the same thing, I have a long list of people to unalive.I find a motel and check in, and I thank the gods for the showerhead, which has a fairly decent water pressure.I

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   I WON'T MISS YOU

    STORMI never thought it could happen, but it is.I am standing by my Impala, looking at Ridgewood one last time before I speed away and I feel like I am leaving my soul and heart behind.This could be one of the things I will ever regret doing. I can't seem to remember why I am doing this because it hurts so much, but it's all for the better.I wipe away the tear sliding down my cheek and get in my car, revving the engine and speeding away.Back on the road again, alone, leaving all that I have ever wanted behind.I open my compartment glove and I find my old burner phone. I flip it open and find the number I am looking for.“hey Stevie, I need a job.”“Long time Cherry, where are you?”I am heading north, can you find me something worth my while?”“anything for you, but aren’t you rusty? Rumour has it-““Are you sending me the coordinates to a good hunt or not? I didn’t take you for a gossip.”“All I am saying is, now you are not as incognito as before, be careful out there.”“I did

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   THE CEREMONY

    KYLE It’s a rainy gloomy day. It must be matching with my moods and those around me as we all await our bride to walk up to us. The ceremony is being held outdoors, the planners had thought that the day would be sunny and warm, but the rain has started and hasn’t stopped since an hour ago. I don’t mind, as I know this is not exactly how I wanted us to do this so here we are. “why did she not choose the other location that was offered?” Dean asks me quietly as we stand at the front of the huge tent serving as our shelter. They still managed to pull it off with the lowers, it would look magical was it not for the bitterness and bad taste in my mouth about this day. “doesn't matter, we are not here to party, we are just a means to an end for her to leave us,” I respond to him. “Can we all stop doing this? It's already in motion so let's get this over with,” Landon mutters. None of us have been in good shape or moods since last week when she said that she wanted to leave and the o

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   THE ICE QUEEN

    STORMI find myself at Magdaline’s new house's doorstep.I press the doorbell before I think myself out of this.“come in honey,” she opens the door and waves me in I can feel all the walls drop down and I whimper as she pulls me into an embrace.“I have messed up everything,” I cry as she holds me.She soothes me and takes me to the couch. There is a young girl in the house who has been helping her and she brings me some tea and then leaves.“you have been through so much baby,” she says ss he pushes hair off my face.“I'm so tired,” I whisper as I curl on the couch, head on her lap.“I know,” she validates me. I go ahead and tell her all that has happened and she cries with me, and I feel so sleepy.“I don’t know if they will ever forgive me, but I need to get away.”“There is only one way that you can go away and they remain here unaffected by your absence.”“I will do it, anything. I need to fix myself and maybe one day we will be together again,” I tell her meaning every word.“y

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   DO RIGHT BY US

    STORM“so you have been feeling this? all of you?” I ask them and their grim faces tell me everything.“Baby, you shut us down every step we take to help you,” Kyle approaches me and I take a step back.“I don’t want your help,” I tell him and he looks like I have slapped him.I don’t mean to o this, but I don’t think I can stop.“you have been drowning and we have been here asking you how to help you and you have said no. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to save you,” Landon speaks to me gently.“I don’t want to be saved, no one can save me,” I say. I can feel tears scrolling down my face.“why are you doing this?” Dean asks, his voice hurt.I exhale, steeling myself. “because none of you understand.”“Help us then understand you, we love you so much, too much to let you be this way,” Kyle approaches me once again and I let him come close to me. “let us in, please.”I want to give in so much, but it's going to be the same. It's going to feel like it has been for a while now.

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY

    STORMMy whole being is cold. My insides are wound tight. I am aware of things that are happening, I can feel everything and I wish I wasn’t.Because tonight is the night all my fears have come true. I have been wishing my life was different for weeks now and tonight, the universe has said yes to them.I just lost my babies, and I know it's all,y doing. It doesn’t matter what they all say or try to tell me, this is my doing. They felt my hesitation, my longing for a different life and they have left me.You know what's stupid, it’s the fact that every time I felt like I was a clown, not being true to the rest of them I would talk to them and confide my true feelings to them.They wouldn’t judge me, they were inside me and they knew what was going on. They had come to be my partners in this ridiculously high life, and now they are gone.To be honest, I feel betrayed. They were here, and now they are gone. It's my fault, and yet a part of me thought that they would never leave.I am so

  • ROYALS OF RIDGEWOOD   ALONE IN THE NIGHT

    DEANI feel the pain laced through our bond.We have never cried before, but I can feel us all crying. storm has gone quiet, save for the double breathing she is experiencing. Kyle stands up as I take her in my arms straight to the tub.She isn’t even opening her eyes, her face is on my neck, holding on tight. The whole penthouse is quiet as we prepare a bath for her and I start to take off her clothes.She doesn’t let me.“let me get you cleaned up,” I ask her and she shakes her head no.“I need to be alone right now,” she says and I look at the others who all feel like the last thing she needs is to be alone.“Okay,” I say and start getting outside. The boys are hesitant to get out but we finally let her have the space and once the door is locked behind us, I can hear the soft cries.“fuck,” Cole sits outside the door head in his hands.“what the fuck happened?” I ask Landon quietly as I start to realize what has just happened. Storm just miscarried.“We were talking, she had an up

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