Chapter 5

Sleep last night refused to come. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't will myself to want to to fall asleep and forget the memories of yesterday. Instead, I spent the entire night pacing my cell, wondering whether I was making the right choices or not.

I had seven different Alphas who had given me their support, who had promised me that they would fight with me when the appropriate time came to take down the Moon Shadow pack. One night here thoigh and I was already questioning what I had actually gotten myself in for.

I knew they needed to pay and I wanted my revenge for the death of my entire family, but waging war against an entire pack probably wasn't the right way to actually go about it, not when innocent people were going to pay the price of someone else's mistake.

Women and children would die. The blood of innocent men would be shed. Families would be destroyed. And I would have to live with that, I would have to live with the fact all those innocent deaths were on my conscience.

Perhaps enlisting the help of seven different packs was a little extreme now that I think about it but, when I was captured by each of them and tortured, I was young and pissed off. I recruited the seventh Alpha, Alpha James of the Midnight pack, when I was twenty - I was a busy person and I wasted no time in seeking the revenge I wanted.

Of the seven Alphas, James was definitely the most ruthless and once I told him of my plan to destory the Moon Shadow pack, he was only too happy to get himself involved with my plan. The plan was actually simple now that I think about it.

The seven packs would surround the entire territory of Moon Shadow and I would, having gotten myself captured, given the order to attack when they were at their most vulnerable. The seven packs would then attack, killing anyone who stood in their path or dared to speak out against them. They would make their way towards the pack house where the seven Alphas, led by myself, would confront Jayson.

We would demand that he relinquish all power thus becoming a rogue and leaving what remained of his pack in my power. I would then dissolve the pack, offering those who were still alive the chance to join one of the seven packs who had helped with the invasion. If they refused then they would become a rogue.

There wasn't anything too difficult about the entire plan, apart from the nagging sensation I was getting in the back of my mind which was telling me I needed to call off the attack before it was too late. Or at least warn Jayson of what I had planned.

I was reminded of where I was when I heard the sound of locks and doors. Today was just going to be another one of those times where I sat in a room for six hours while Jackson did his best to get answers out of me, answers I simply couldn't give him because I still didn't know what the hell I wanted.

"How did you sleep?" Jackson's voice echoed down the hall.

"I didn't," I muttered. I knew I was going to be irritable because I hadn't slept which was probably going to land me in the shit but, right now, I just didn't give a damn.

"Answer our questions and you could be living in the pack house in a couple of days. Spending the night in a proper bed, in a proper room with proper food," Jackson laughed and I couldn't tell whether he was being serious or whether he was just joking around, but either way I wasn't in the mood for it.

If I ever got out of here going rogue again was the only option. I had spent ten years fending for myself and I wasn't looking to jump back into a pack, not even for the sake of my mate.

"The forest floor sounds like a better option right now," I said quickly. It was all well and good giving me a bed, but I was used to sleeping on floors or in trees, sleeping in a bed was a foreign concept for myself.

"Don't let Blake hear you say that," Jackson laughed and I decided that he was just a naturally happy person when Jayson wasn't around to tell him what the hell to do.

"Oh. How silly of me. I must remember that my mate is a Beta and I should therefore be nothing but kind and polite just to make sure I don't piss him off. Oh thank you, Great One," I stated sarcastically, pretending that I was bowing down to the man on the other side of the cell.

I heard a low chuckle fill the room as he unlocked the cell and indicated that I was to follow him, which I did without question or fight. Even if I did fight, I already knew that I wouldn't get too far before I was caught again and then death was a given if I did that.

I may have been an idiot but I wasn't a total idiot. I did know when to behave myself, even if I did act like an immature brat who was used to getting her own way in life.

"You ever thought of being a stand-up comedian? I think you could pull it off," Jackson laughed and I was surprised my his casual attitude. He wasn't even getting pissed off with me, he was humouring me and joining in with my comments.

Perhaps you have misjudged the pack and the people in it. You could be about to make the worst mistake of your life. Perhaps I could have done, but Jackson is one person, there is no telling what the rest of them are like.

"I tried it. Turns out I am better at killing than I am at being funny," I shrugged as I followed Jackson into the same room I had been in yesterday, the only differences being I wasn't in handcuffs and my chair was actually opposite Jackson at the table rather than hidden in the corner of the room.

"Blake likes your name by the way. He wouldn't stop muttering it to himself last night or this morning. I am pretty sure Jayson was close to murdering him," Jackson laughed again and even I managed to smile at the comment.

At least I had done something to ease the pain I caused him yesterday by telling him I wasn't ready to accept him. Well, I didn't actually tell him, I told Jayson that I wasn't going to be accepting him and he overheard the conversation.

Still, I wasn't a heartless bitch all the time and my name was the least Blake deserved from me. It wasn't much but it was something and that something clearly meant a lot to him; it was that which made me smile to myself.

"Ah. But your infamous Alpha wouldn't touch my mate," I found myself smirking across the table at Jackson. The man was easy to talk to, I will give him that one, and he definitely knew how to handle me far better than both Jayson and Blake combined.

"How can you be so sure of that Ellie?" Jackson replied, his smirk matching my own.

"Because, Jackson, if he was to murder my mate, he would have one seriously fucked off she-wolf on his hands," I managed to laugh and, for the first time since I arrived in the place yesterday, I saw a genuine smile on Jackson's face.

No one had smiled at me. I had just managed to piss two people off and land myself in a decent cell for the night, but no one had smiled at me or even laughed with me in the way Jackson did. I didn't want to like him but he was making it damn near impossible for me to hate him.

"I am sure he could deal with your wolf," Jackson replied, moving so that he was leaning against the back of the chair with his arms folded across his chest.

"Jayson can't even handle me in my human form. How do you expect him to cope with my wolf?" I raised my eyebrow at the serious question, mimicking his actions as I lent back against my chair and moved my arms across my chest.

"Hm. Good point," Jackson looked amused as he thought of all the things which could happen if Jayson was to take on my wolf right after murdering Blake.

I might not be ready for Blake right now. My wolf on the other hand, if anything were to happen to him, then she would be more than ready to hurt whichever fool was stupid enough to touch him. Even if that person happened to be the Alpha, I wouldn't want to be in my wolf's path as she took her revenge.

"Why are you being so nice to me Jackson? Yesterday you were dragging me through the forest and giving me a look which could kill for not accepting Blake," I asked. I felt I had the right to be suspicious of his actions, unless he had bi-polar, and then it would explain everything.

"Jayson and Blake may not be able to see it but I saw it the first time we met in the forest. The Ellie which you're showing us clearly isn't the real you and you are hiding yourself behind the sarcasm and blunt remarks. But, as I said yesterday, I don't think you're a bad person," Jackson smiled.

"I killed eighty of your best fighters. I am the reason two of your guards are dead. Hell, I am the reason most of Blake's family are dead. So, tell me, how am I not a bad person?"

"Firstly, the only two members of his family Blake actually give a damn about are still alive, you have done him a favour by murdering the rest. Truth be told, Blake's family were all cruel and heartless, death was the best thing for them," Jackson shrugged and I could feel the emotional battle within me.

I hated him because of how he was and I didn't want to accept him, knowing there was a chance he could be just like the man who murdered my entire family. But, at the same time, I now felt bad for him.

I had always assumed he had had it easy. He seemed like the type of person who always got what he wanted when he was younger, the type of person who didn't have to ask to get what he wanted from life. It would seem I had misjudged him and it was true what they say.

You should never judge a book by its cover. You should always read the inside to get to know the outside; a lesson which my mother taught me from a very young age.

"Which two members does he still have?" I asked and, strangely, I was actually interested in knowing who they were.

"His younger sister, Jamie, she's seventeen and has relied on Blake since he was eighteen and she was ten. I think you'll love her when you meet her, she could challenge you in sarcasm and sassiness," Jackson paused as he let out a quick laugh, a slight smile forming as I thought of Blake protecting his younger sister. It was kind of sweet and reminded me of my own brother. "And there's his older brother, Lex. At twenty-nine he's already rejected his mate and has probably slept with more than half the females in the pack. But he loves Jamie and Blake, so he will do anything to ensure they're both safe."

"I had a brother. Link. He would have been thirty-one today," I pretty much whispered as I subtlety wiped the tears away from my eyes, refusing to let myself be seen as weak in front of this man.

"See, I knew there was a heart in there somewhere. It's just being shielded by a stone wall which is going to take a whole lot of trust and love for someone to be able to break through it."

It kind of scared me how quickly Jackson had figured out the sort of person I was and that he could see the mask I had been successfully wearing for the last ten years. I didn't want him to know that I did know how to fell, I was just deciding that I didn't want to feel.

"Secondly, like I told you yesterday, there has to be a reason you killed our men. You don't seem like the type to murder for fun. Heck, I don't think you look like the murdering type at all, but there is obviously a reason for your actions," Jackson sighed and I contemplated what I could tell him. I didn't want to tell him anything but, while I was awake last night, I had stupidly convinced myself that I was going to tell whoever interrogated me one thing a day they could pass onto Blake.

I am sure this one was going to be bad idea, but I suppose now was far better than later. At least I had control over it right now.

"The reason I can't accept Blake is because his father is the reason my family are dead. It was his father who intiated the attack on my pack and he made sure there were no survivors."