When I finally woke up, my throat was killing me. I was sure there were bruises there and I guess it was my own fault.
I used words and sarcasm when I'm under pressure. It's a natural reflex to conversations I didn't want to have and it was my way of protecting myself from the world around me.
The only people I had ever spoken to were my family. They were the only ones who really understood me and actually knew what it was like to be in my head. They helped me when I had no one and I hated that they were gone.
I hated that I couldn't just speak to them and ask for them advice. I hated that they weren't just round the corner from me so that they could tell me what was the right thing to do, tell me that what I had planned was the wrong thing to be doing because it would make me just as bad as they were. In fact, I hated that they were dead and I was alone in the world.
The only person I actually had was my mate and I didn't want anything to do with him right now. I couldn't just jump into his arm and allow him to comfort me, not when I hated everything to do with his existence.
"Ah. I see you're awake." I looked over to see Jayson was sitting in the corner of the room with a smirk on his face.
"Apparently," I muttered.
"Do I need to remind you who's in charge again?" Jayson continued to smirk. I had a response on the tip of my tongue but I held it back. I was an idiot, not going to deny that, but I knew when to stop and I also knew it was pointless pissing Jayson off anymore.
"No. I'll answer any questions you have." I sighed in defeat as I raised my hand to my neck in a lame attempt to sooth the pain which was raging through my muscles.
"You know, considering you're the reason most of Blake's family is dead, he seems pretty insistent that you be released and allowed to live in our pack," Jayson spoke.
You can't avoid him forever. He is going to claim you eventually. My wolf's voice chimed and all I could do was sigh at the thought. It was all well and good hating him right now, but if he spends any more time around me, it's only going to become a thousand times worse to continue hating him.
Are you really going to go through with your plan? Are you really going to seek your revenge now, knowing Blake could end up dead? For the time being it shouldn't be too hard. He just needs to make sure he keeps his distance, though even I know he's not going to do that and he's only going to fight until I submit.
"Perhaps you should speak to him about that. I don't know what's going through his head," I replied calmly.
"You are a rogue who killed. I mean, you didn't even kill to defend yourself, you killed for fun," Jayson said. He moved so that his hands were resting on the table and he was leaning forward a little more, his eyes never leaving mine as he spoke.
"There's a pack of rogues on the western border. They are planning to attack in the early hours of tomorrow morning," I said without so much of a thought. I didn't really want to die and I didn't want anything to interfere with the plans I had put in motion.
"I have patrols covering every single border. They haven't spotted anything."Jayson raised an eyebrow at me.
"They are hidden. There are around 300 of them and they want nothing but your head. I have no reason to really tell you this other than I don't feel like dying today. Well, I'm already metaphorically dead, I don't want to be literally dead," I found myself explaining. I was actually explaining myself to a man who had tried to kill me because of my sarcasm.
This was the first time I had willingly offered an explanation to any Alpha. Every other Alpha had been left with no choice but to torture me in order to obtain the information they wanted, but that usually took them at least a month to get anything from me which they could actually use.
I had a pretty high pain threshold and could easily go for weeks before anything actually effected my body. I just gave them what they wanted after a month in return they gave me what I needed, which was their full support when the time came.
"Why are you rogue?" Jayson asked me.
"My pack were slaughtered when I was eighteen. I was happy, just living my life with my family, but that was all taken away from me in one night..." I paused as I brought my head up so that I was looking at Jayson who had now taken on a far more informal position. He was leaning against the back of the chair with his arms folded across his chest, his eyes looking like they were trying to detect some hint of a lie in my words. "The life of a rogue was the only option I wanted. I didn't want to start another life so I went at it alone and for the last ten years I have done what I needed to do to get by."
"How many different Alphas have you encountered?"
Enough to know your ass is going to be kicked when the time comes. And more than enough to know the name of every single person who hates you for some reason or another. So that was pretty much every Alpha from this side of the land to the other.
"Enough," I settled on.
"Blake wants to see you. He wants to know that I haven't hurt you," Jayson changed the topic without so much as a second thought.
"I don't want to see him. Just tell him you didn't touch me and he has nothing to worry about," I muttered.
"I doubt he will believe me. He did this," he turned his head to show me the three claw marks which cut deep into his neck, "when I refused to stop strangling you."
"Look, Alpha, I am your prisoner and I don't want to be treated any other way. That means no visitors, regardless of whether they are my mate," I replied in the hope that he would get the message. I didn't want to see Blake and no amount of guilt tripping was going to change that.
I could sense that my wolf was pissed with me, but I was the one in control right now and while I was in control, I wasn't going to allow Blake anywhere near me.
"At least tell me your name. Don't you think he has the right to know that?" Jayson asked me, until he asked that question, I had totally forgotten that I hadn't given them my name. No one knew my name, they only knew I was a rogue to be feared.
"It's for the best he knows nothing since I don't plan on accepting him anytime soon." I sighed, my gaze never leaving that of Jasyon as he continued to study me and process the answers I was giving him.
"You know he's outside this room right?" Jayson asked. As wolves we had extremely sensitive hearing so that meant Blake had probably just heard what I told Jayson about not accepting him, which meant there was going to be a whole load of shit for Jayson to deal with.
"I didn't but thanks for telling me," and there she was. The defensive sarcastic bitch who would say anything to get a rise out of the man sitting in front of her.
"I think we are done here for the day. I will have Jackson take you to your cell and we will resume this chat tomorrow. I do, after all, have one hell of a pissed off Beta to deal with," Jayson spoke. I could tell that he was unimpressed as he walked out of the room, fastening the buttons on his suit jacket as he went.
When he opened the door, I could hear shouting and banging, though I wasnt sure who either was actually coming from. I could only assume that the people were doing what they could to calm Blake down after he had shifted into his wolf.
You need to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I don't need to do anything. I just need to sleep and I need to prepare, neither of which involve Blake and his emotions right now.
I looked over to the door to see Jackson standing there. Just as Jayson had been, he was wearing an impressive looking suit, only his was a navy blue with a black shirt and red tie while Jayson had been in a grey suit and white shirt without the tie.
"Did you really have to reject Blake to the Alpha?" Jackson asked emotionlessly.
"I didn't actually reject him. I just said I wasn't ready to accept that he was my mate. There's the difference between the two."
"Come with me." Jackson ignored my comment, and beckoned for me to follow him from the room, which I did without question. When we stepped out of the room there was blood everywhere and two of the guards were pretty much dead in the corner of the room.
I looked around in shock. I couldn't believe that Blake had done that just because he assumed I had rejected him.
I mean, to actually reject him, I would have to do it to his face. I would than have to say the words I, Ellie Pierce, reject Blake Jackson, Beta of the Moon Shadow pack, as my mate. An then he would have to accept that I had rejected him; something I couldn't see happening even if I did reject him.
"That's another two deaths on your conscience. Daniel and Peter were two of our best guards," Jackson's cold tone filled the corridor. I just added that to the eighty lives I had already taken and continued to follow him.
We walked past several empty cells before reaching the one where I was going to be spending the night. There was a bed in the corner, a plate of dinner on the table with a glass of orange juice beside it and a copy of 'The Scarlett Letter' on the edge of the bed. There was even a game of Jenga on the bedside table.
I was in awe of the cell. It looked more like a mini bedroom than it did a cell. It was definitely nothing like what I was used to, I was used to being chained to the wall over night with silver chains and being left to starve for a couple of days.
Jackson then removed the handcuffs and my wolf was immediately grateful for the release. I even managed to smile at myself because I was finally able to move my hands after tey had been bound together for however many hours it was.
"Blake pretty much demanded that you be given this cell. He said if the Alpha wasn't going to release you, the least he could do was ensure his mate had a proper meal and a good nights' sleep," Jackson finally spoke as he pushed my into the cell before locking it.
"Tell him I said thanks," I muttered while walking over to my bed and taking a seat.
"You will also find some clean clothes in the drawers there. Another Blake thing," Jackson added.
I opened the drawer and there were four pairs of jeans in the top one, vest tops galore in the second one and underwear in the third. I even noticed the new shoes which were lying beside the bed.
As Jackson went to walk away, I managed to stop him before he could leave. "I haven't rejected Blake because I can't bring myself to do it, I know it's not the right thing to do. But, right now, I can't accept him either."
"You know, I don't actually think you're a bad person. You don't seem like the sort of person who kills for fun which means you killed our men for a reason, not just because you felt like doing so," Jackson surprised me when those words came out of his mouth.
He was the first person who had ever really looked close enough to see that there was a reason for what I did, he was the first person to se that there was more than a killer to who I was, but I knew I couldn't trust him with the reason why.
"My name... It's Ellie. But tell Blake he can call me El," I said in what almost sounded like defeat as I revealed my name Jackson, mostly because my name had been my best kept secret and it had been the one thing no one could ever get from me.
Now I was giving it up to a man who I was supposed to hate because he was the enemy, instead I wanted his friendship and I wanted him to see the real me. The real Ellie Pierce who has hidden behind masks and stories for the last ten years.
"I'll be back tomorrow, Ellie. Tomorrow it will be interrogating you because the Alpha is busy and Blake will need a couple of days to calm down before he's ready to face you again."
"Good. Because I'm still not ready to face him either."
I couldn't stop pacing up and down. All my thoughts were consumed by the woman on the other side of the door, the woman who was in the room with the man who would have been successful in killing her had I not stopped him. I had never felt anger like I did in that moment. The only thing on my mind was murdering Jayson. Murdering the man who was my best friend and had been there for me through all the shit my father had put me through; I was prepared to murder my Alpha because he dared to touch my mate. At twenty-five, I never thought I would find my mate. I had pretty much accepted that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone while everyone else around me found their happiness. Jayson had found his mate the moment he turned nineteen and, at twenty, Jackson still has time to find his without too much worry. Unlike my father, who seemed to think having a mate was pointless, I actually wanted to f
Sleep last night refused to come. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't will myself to want to to fall asleep and forget the memories of yesterday. Instead, I spent the entire night pacing my cell, wondering whether I was making the right choices or not.I had seven different Alphas who had given me their support, who had promised me that they would fight with me when the appropriate time came to take down the Moon Shadow pack. One night here thoigh and I was already questioning what I had actually gotten myself in for.I knew they needed to pay and I wanted my revenge for the death of my entire family, but waging war against an entire pack probably wasn't the right way to actually go about it, not when innocent people were going to pay the price of someone else's mistake.Women and children would die. The blood of innocent men would be shed. Families would be destroyed. And I would have to live with that, I would have
I almost regretted saying the words the moment I had said them, but it was too late to take them back now and the truth was out there. Jackson knew the reason I wasn't ready to accept Blake and I am sure he was going to report that back to him when he was done here.I could see the wheels in his head turning as he put everything together in his mind. Jackson didn't seem like an idiot, in fact he came across as someone who was highly intelligent and clearly knew what he was doing, but I am sure he was forming his own opinions on what I had told him.In fact, he was probably waiting for the right moment to tell me that I was being childish and that it was time for me to grow the hell up. He was going to tell that Blake was nothing to do with what his father did and that I shouldn't blame him, that I should just give him a chance.But it wasn't that simple for someone like me. I couldn't simply trust someone b
I had been in this place a week now and every singe day had been the same. I would be put in my cell at night with a decent meal as Blake had demanded and the following morning Jackson would come to speak to me for two hours each morning, before I was thrown back in the cells again.I hadn't seen or spoken to Blake again, but Jackson always told me that Blake said hello and three days after our conversation, Blake told Jackson that he understood why I couldn't accept him and that he didn't blame me for my reasons.Today was no different, other than the fact Jayson was also in the interrogation room with Jackson, only he didn't look as scary as he did when we first met a week ago. In fact, for a man who had to run an entire pack, he looked pretty relaxed today and I was sure there was something else going on."If it isn't the Big Bad Alpha. I was wondering when I would be seeing you again," I actually laughed as I sat down opposite Jayson and Jackson
If there is one thing I hate more than anything it's people who lie. I will never understand people who lie because the truth always comes out in the end and then everyone hates you for lying in the first place. I had spent an entire week with Ellie. We had actually become pretty good friends with each other in that short amount of time so to know she was lying to me actually hurt like a bitch. I told her she could trust me, but it would seem she's still struggling to understand that concept even though I have done nothing to show her otherwise. At twenty I am younger than both Jayson and Blake. They have lived for almost six years longer than I have but even they admit that I have more sense than the both of them combined. I'm the one who brings normality and stability to our friendship, Blake brings the humour and witty comments while Jayson brings the moodiness and serious amount of arrogance which goes with being an Alpha. &n
I walked out of the dungeon without making so much as a sound, I even mind linked with the guards to tell them that they needed to shut the door silently. They followed through with the instruction without question, knowing that something serious had happened. I was going through a whirlwind of emotions as I made my way to the pack house. This was too much to deal with in one day, Ellie being a traitor, only she wasn't really a traitor because she was trying to stop her past from catching up with her now. The rogue wasn't actually a rogue and was set to be the future Alpha of a pack, so the only thing actually keeping her in that cell was the fact every single bar had been coated with silver. She could transform into her wolf in the cell but she wouldn't be able to escape from the cell.
If there weren't any silver bars between the bitch next to me and myself, I definitely would have given a shot at attempting to kill her. Sure, it would have been futile because she has Alpha genes and I am rogue, but I would have given it my best shot and done as much damage as possible. I didn't want to upset Jackson or put myself back in Jayson's bad books, but I also couldn't open my mouth to tell them the truth. I would rather they died in battle, protecting their pack from my idiocy, than have them murdered for my idiocy. Either way, they were probably going to end up dead and it was going to be my fault that they were dead. It was my fault that an entire pack were going to be murdered and there was nothing I could to stop it from happening. For the last two hours I had attempted to sleep but, every single time I closed
"A rogue Alpha, huh? Never heard of that before," I heard Jackson laugh from beside me as he finally caught up with me. "My entire pack was murdered so I didn't ever have the need to really become an Alpha. I just stayed as I was and suppressed the Alpha somewhere within me," I replied. "Explains how you were able to kill all the people you did though. You unknowingly used your Alpha strength," Jackson laughed and I just shrugged at his comment. I didn't really want to think about those men because that meant I would have to think of their mates and they weren't really people I wanted to think about right now. "Don't tell anyone else. I am happy being just a normal wolf. I don't ever want to be an Alpha." I sighed and it was true. The moment someone gave me a pack, my
MAXWELL I didn't even realize the room had fallen silent, until I looked across at the stage to see my mother was now standing up there with Uncle Luca one side of her and Jackson the other. Michael was at the back with Shantel standing in front on him, his arms wrapped around her waist, with Aurora on his left and his twin sisters, Kailyn and Trinity who were fourteen and looked exactly like their mother to the point that it would have been difficult to tell who the twins were and who Aurora was if she had aged at the same rate as a werewolf, standing on his left — it's a shame that Daniel wasn't here. I did actually miss him and hope that he would make an appearance, but I guess he was either happy with his mate or he was still searching for her. Uncle Link was off to the side of the stage with his arm wrapped around Aunt Jamie, who actually was in her thirties but still had the face of a teenager, while Uncle Link must have been in his late fifties by now but looked just as good
MAXWELL "Ah, Maxwell, my man, you ready for what's about to happen?" Michael grinned as he threw his arm around my shoulder. I am pretty sure he was more excited about tonight then I was, then again, he was about to become Beta in place of my mum's best friend, so I guess he had good reason to be in the mood that he was. "Don't call me my man, I've told you about that before," I chuckled. Despite there being an eight year age gap between Michael and myself, I actually got on better with him than I did with Daniel, because of the amount of time he had spent looking after me when I was younger; I became quite attached to him when I was six and he started looking after us every Saturday night so my parents could have some time alone. Nicole was close to Abby, but that wasn't surprising given that they were practically the same age, but it got to the point where the two of them were inseparable. You would never find one without the o
"This is Blake, my mate, and these are Maxwell and Nicole. I guess I should formally welcome you to Darkness." I pointed between Blake and the twins in turn, still watching her face in an effort to gage her reaction, but there was nothing and I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing; I would like to think that it's a good thing and that she knows she's got nothing to worry about. I wasn't going to be a problem for her, not when I had Blake, and I didn't think that she was going to be a problem for me either, not when she had Luca and was going to have fun with three kids by the looks of things. "Hi. I'm Daniel and I like Lego. I am daddy's favourite and he loves me more than he loves Michael, that's Michael by the way, and I'm going to be four next month. Daddy told me that I'm going to be a big boy and-" "Daniel. Calm down." Luca chuckled as he picked his son up and held him on his hip. Daniel wrapped his arms around his father's neck, kissing him on the cheek, wh
ELLIE "How do you think they're going to turn out?" I rocked Maxwell in my arms, Blake had a sleeping Nicole in his own and the boys were having a competition to see who could colour without going outside of the lines; it had been a rather peaceful afternoon and I think that had something to do with the fact Luca wasn't around. As much as I loved him, he was bringing the whole mood down with his constant snapping and unnecessary arguments with either myself or one of the boys, and I knew that's because he was such a stubborn pig who didn't want to get what was rightfully his; he wanted to do the right thing and let her go. But, what was the right thing for her, wasn't the right thing for him and it was beginning to show. I didn't mean to interfere, and I sure as hell didn't expect him to shout at me, but someone needed to point the idiot in the right direction otherwise he never would have done anything about his mate. He would h
LUCA I didn't even need to think about where I was going because my feet seemed to take me there on their own, they knew where we were going and they wanted to get their quicker than I was anticipating; it was almost like they were more excited than I was to get what belonged to us. My wolf hadn't stopped dancing around my head and he continued to let out both howls and yips of happiness in the back of my head. It always made things so much easier knowing that you had the support of your wolf, not that I ever doubted his reappearance once we got to finally meet our mate properly, but he had been unnervingly quiet since I decided that I wasn't going to go after the girl who was made for me.I wasn't even going to lie, I was still shocked that I had been given a second chance, I was even more shocked that it had happened as quickly as this; it had barely been a week since I rejected Charlotte and I was already being given another ch
LUCA "So, let me get this straight, you want to break my mate up with her boyfriend by pretending that you've been sleeping with him?" I asked Ellie. I know that she was only trying to help me but I didn't want her to ruin someone else's relationship just for the sake of my own happiness. She was my best friend and I know that she just wanted the best for me but I refused to let her do something she would live to regret in the end, especially when she came to live in the pack with me and Ellie had to face her every single day knowing what she had done. "You got it," Ellie grinned proudly. "Yeah. That's not going to happen," I told her without breaking eye contact and I noticed Blake nodding in agreement with me from the corner of my eye. I knew that he wasn't happy with the plan from the expression which he had been wearing and the look of murder which was in his eye as she spoke about anothe
I was luckier than same people. I may have lost both sets of my parents but I had a mate who loved me unconditionally and would do absolutely anything for me even if he was a jealous pig at times and overreacted whenever someone got a little too close to me. I had a brother who had always been my rock and had helped me through more things as a child than anyone had done. And I had three others who were practically like brothers anyway, I loved them like they were and I didn't want to lose any of them again because of something as stupid as me not wanting to ask for help. I had my children. I finally understood what it was to love something so much that you would kill anyone who dared to hurt them and I really understood what a mother's love was, I understand how a child could become the centre of someone's universe and how everyone could seem insignificant in comparison to your own child. I would die before I let anyone touch the twins again and I would fight
ELLIE I watched out the corner of my eye as Luca left the room. I don't know why Jamie opened her mouth and thought it was acceptable to comment on his skills as a father but she was in the wrong and she didn't have the right to make a comment. Luca did his best for those boys. He tried to put them before himself and, when Charlotte didn't want anything to do with either of them, he was there to make sure they had the love and the care they deserved. He wasn't the perfect father, I don't think there was a thing such as the perfect father, but he wasn't terrible and he didn't deserve the comments which Jamie made. She didn't know what he had been through. She didn't know the fights he had to endure just to make sure those boys never felt like they weren't wanted. She didn't even understand the pain he was in after finding out that they weren't really his children because his mate got he
LUCA I turned to see Michael staring at me with something in his eyes. He wasn't an idiot so he knew there was more to the story than he was being told, I knew I would have to tell him the truth at some point but it could wait a little longer before I did that. I would have to do it with a clear head and when I could explain it to Michael properly. "Are you sure you're alright dad?" Michael asked. "I'll be fine. And I'm sorry if you think I'm dumping you on people all the time. I don't mean to, I just, I don't know how to deal with all of this," I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. "You're trying your best and I know that. You've always done the best for both me and Daniel, even when mum gave up with the both of us, you were still there and you have always been there. I love you dad and, when I am older, I want to be the same sort of man you are because you're nothing but selfless," Michael shocked me by wrapping h