Chapter 4: Tears and goodbyes

Aliaria’s Point of View

I was in shock. This wasn’t happening. Silver poisoning didn’t kill so fast, even I knew that. I couldn’t move. Immediately the machines went off, beeping so loudly and fast, the place was flooded with healers. I was in the way but I was petrified. This couldn’t be happening. I was seeing Ethan slowly lose his life but in the back of my mind, I was seeing my father too. Dad’s death was from a war injury. He was already weak from getting older but he wouldn’t listen when I told him to sit out that battle. He was stabbed in the heart and before his super healing could kick in, he was gone too. I had watched my father die and now, I was going to watch my mate. This couldn’t be happening to me. I don’t deserve this.

When the reality dawned on me, I let out all my emotions the only way I knew how. I screamed till I was hoarse and I pushed aside the healers. They were working too slow. I knew basic information about healing and if I could just get his heart to start pumping again everything will be fine. A few of the apprentices managed to pull me off of Ethan. I was screaming and thrashing around but they were strong. They pulled me out of his ward. There was no use anymore. He was gone. I sit in silence, the weight of the grief to much to express. Ow do I explain to the kids? I just told them he was stuck at work. Now, they would never see their father again. My wolf had gone silent too. The shock of losing her mate overwhelming her.

I sit still, still not quite processing the turmoil of emotions raging in my mind. I don’t know how long I sit there but the chief Healer comes out with an exhausted look on her face. Her facial expression confirmed what I knew in my heart. He was gone. She pats my shoulder comfortingly. I just looked at her with glazed over eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” She says. I’m glad she doesn’t say anymore, understanding that I needed quiet in this moment. She leaves, seeing as I was unresponsive. Soon, Rand comes into the clinic, his expression wild. He had just lost his best friend. However, when he sees me his expression dissolves into one of pity and concern. He gathered me into his arms and pulls me up to my feet.

“Come on. Let’s go home.” He says and I let him take me to the car. When we get home, the kids are asleep so I just curl up and sleep. Again, sleep is the most underrated form of therapy. I woke up feeling better in a way. The heaviness wasn’t totally gone but it was reduced. I could hear the chatter of the children already. That means I overslept. Even though I didn’t want to, I got up and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I was shocked to see that they were already having breakfast at the table. I greet each of them, kissing then I their cheek.

“Mum, we made you breakfast.” Alyssa says excitedly pushing forward some eggs. I didn’t have the appetite to eat but I took a bite. It was really good, which is unlikely. As expected, Rand walks out of the kitchen so calmly. I greet him and mouth my appreciation. He had no idea how much he had helped me today. We eat silently and soon, Chase asks for his daddy. I look at the expectant face of all my children. This is so hard but I couldn’t put it off anymore. I take a deep breath before I speak.

“Ljstem to me, your daddy is not coming back. I’m sorry but daddy is gone forever.” I explain and they all came to hug me. I doubt that Chase fully understood the gravity of the situation but the older ones did. I gathered them into my arms and they cried. Chase cried because others were crying. Their tears moved me to tears too and we cried together. We needed it. For now, helping my children out of grief was the best. I told Rand to make the official announcement that Ethan was dead. It was clearly murder and an attack from an enemy pack but for now, it wasn’t important. I just had to guide the pack and my children through this loss. I stayed with the children till the evening when Ethan’s parents arrived. With the around, I could leave the children for a bit. I go to the office to try to put things in order.

As if they were waiting on me, immediately I got to the office, the Sages arrived too to have a meeting. I was so exhausted that I didn’t want to deal with them right now. However, they’re Sages and I can’t just ignore them. We all go to the conference room. They blabbed on and in about something ad all I could think was that my mate was gone. Someone called on me to check if I was listening but I didn’t even reply. The oldest of the Sages, finally cleared his throat. I sit upright to pretend like I was listening.

“Well, we have agreed that the pack is in safe hands with you. Typically, in such cases, there is usually a duel to determine the next alpha but we have agreed that you are the perfect fit, alpha Aliaria.” He says finally. I’m so flattered that they believe so much in me. Well, it was not what I was expecting to hear though. Either ways, it was good news. We went on to discuss what Ethan’s funeral would look like. We decided he was one of the good ones so decided to give him a befitting traditional werewolf funeral.

Time flew past and soon, it was Saturday. The first time I saw Ethan, I almost ran away. He was so different from the one I knew. He was ashy and he just looked lifeless with a black hole around his chest. That was the highest proof that it was murder. The silver was concentrated around his heart suggesting it was stabbed in direct in the area.

Right now though, the oldest Sage was offering a dirge before we sent him off. His coffin was already in the water and it was just to light it up. Holding my children close I let the torch on the coffin and life it into the water in the boat. Goodbye Ethan. One by one we leave for our homes, to begin a life without Ethan Wilder. I will avenge his death even if it kills me.