Chapter 21

For both Xander and Isabella, the first few days at the cabin were a welcome change. They made breakfast together, took long walks in the snow-covered forest, and woke up to the gentle glow of the early light streaming through the trees. These were simple, peaceful rituals that occupied their time. The outer world seemed to have paused for a spell, allowing them to concentrate solely on one another.

However, getting better wasn't as simple as running away to a charming cottage. The mere fact that they were separated from their everyday lives did not make the rifts in their relationship go away. There were still whispered words, unsolved problems, and anxieties that neither of them knew how to confront under the surface.

They sat by the fireplace once again one evening after a peaceful meal, the flames creating flickering shadows on the walls. The once-comfortable stillness suddenly felt oppressive, even suffocating.

"Is this sufficient in your opinion?" Isabella broke the silence with a quiet question.

Xander raised his head from the book he was feigning to read. "What do you mean?"

She gestured around the room and added, "This... this time away." "Do you believe it will be sufficient to fix us?"

Xander's brow furrowed as he scowled. "I'm not sure. But isn't it a beginning?

Isabella let out a sigh as the burden of all they hadn't discussed weighed heavily on her. "Xander, we can't just act like everything will be alright just because we're here. We haven't even discussed what transpired. Concerning... us.

Xander leaned forward confidently, resting his elbows firmly on his knees. He put his book aside and closed it. "Isabella, what do you want me to say? Do you want an apology? Do you want to hear that I regret everything? Because I do. But saying that doesn’t change the facts."

A lump appeared in Isabella's neck. "Xander, I don't want an apology. All I want is honesty. I want to know if we're only postponing the inevitable or if we're actually attempting to resolve this.

Heavy and terrible, her words lingered in the space between them. Xander tightened his jaw as he looked at his hands. He preferred action over words, so it was hard for him to have conversations that required transparency and vulnerability.

At last, he murmured in a quiet voice, "I'm trying." "I want us to work, so I'm trying. I desire you.

His remarks made Isabella's heart hurt, yet she still felt uncertain and guarded in some way. "Xander, wanting me does not equate to being prepared to resolve this. We cannot just return to the previous state of affairs. Too much has occurred.

She briefly noticed the glimmer of anguish beneath Xander's normally composed demeanour as their eyes locked. "I understand. However, I'm prepared to go to any lengths. Isabella, I don't want to lose you.

She felt her own barriers begin to come down as something within of her was broken by the vulnerability in his words. Hearing Xander acknowledge his dread of losing her weakened her resolve, which she had been clinging to for so long.

She said in a barely audible whisper, "I don't want to lose you either." However, we must be honest with one another. No more acting like you don't want to have these difficult talks.

With a steady stare, Xander nodded. "I am capable of doing it. I'll give it a go.

They sat together in a precarious quiet for the remainder of the evening, both of them aware that although they had made a little progress, much more remained.

The Following Day: Facing the Past

The calm of the cabin appeared to descend over them once more the next morning, but a tension was boiling under the surface. It seemed as though the previous night's chat had unlocked a door that would never be closed. Both of them were aware that it was time to address the more serious problems that had been brewing between them.

Xander proposed that they take a stroll down one of the woodland paths that meandered through the trees behind the cabin after breakfast. Isabella consented, thinking that the beauty of nature and the fresh air would help them feel less intimidated by the necessary discourse.

Isabella couldn't get rid of the uneasiness that had descended upon her as they strolled in quiet, their footfall crunching gently in the snow. She was aware that they needed to communicate, but she was also apprehensive about what would be revealed and worried that addressing their issues head-on might make everything worse rather than better.

After what seemed like an age, Xander finally said something.

His voice was calm as he asked, "Do you recall when we first met?"

Startled by the question, Isabella gave him a quick glance. "I certainly do."

Xander smiled ruefully and remarked, "I was such a mess back then." "I had no idea who I was or what I desired. However, you were always so confident in yourself. So assured.

The remembrance made Isabella's heart hurt. "Xander, I wasn't as certain as you believe. I was just adept at concealing my fears.

He turned to her and stopped moving. "I assume that both of us were concealing something, weren't we?"

Isabella's throat constricted as she nodded. "I believe that contributed to the breakdown. We never truly reveal our true selves to one another.

Xander extended his arm and took her hand tenderly. Isabella, I don't want to conceal any longer. I want to tell you the truth. even when it's challenging.

Her pulse thumping, she glanced up at him. Then tell me the truth immediately. What caused our relationship to deteriorate?

While he sought for the proper words, Xander paused and tightened his hold on her hand. "I believe... I was terrified. I was scared of how much I relied on you and how much I needed you. I've always been in charge, so that frightened me. But I felt exposed with you. And I pushed you away rather than confront that.

His comments caused Isabella's chest to constrict. Although she had always suspected that Xander's fear of showing his vulnerability was the cause of their issues, it felt even more genuine once she heard him acknowledge it out.

"I also shoved you away," she said. "I didn't realise how much you were hurting since I was so preoccupied with keeping myself safe. I believed I could make everything better if I simply hung on tight enough. However, I was smothering us by doing it without realising it.

The weight of their words hung in the cold air as they stood in the snowy forest. For the first time in ages, thaey truly saw each other, imperfections and all.

Xander's voice shook with emotion as he stated, "I want to avoid making the same mistakes again."" Isabella, I want us to work. But if we continue to cling to the past, we will be unable to do it.

Isabella brushed away the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes. "I also don't want to cling to the past. I want to go on. However, it will require time.

Xander's eyes softened as he nodded. "I understand. I'm happy to invest that time if we work together on this.

For the first time in a long time, Isabella felt hopeful. This was a beginning, but it wouldn't solve all their problems. And perhaps—just possibly—that was sufficient.

Isabella came to the realisation that the road to recovery would not be simple as they strolled through the woodland. There would be more challenging discussions as well as more uncertain and frightening situations. However, she felt that they were both really dedicated to make things work for the first time in a long time.

And that gave her hope for the future more than anything else.