NIKOLAI When I applied for the waiter's job hired for Leo Rodriguez's memorial, I told myself it was because of the pay—it wasn't. Deep down, it was because of the daughter of the deceased—may his soul rest in perfect peace. I had been curious about Lia, and seeing her on TV hadn't helped. Each broadcast only made my curiosity about her welfare grow, and her stiff, controlled appearance made me want to see her more, even though I had no reason to. So here I am, taking up a job I don't necessarily need, carrying a goddamn tray because I want to see Lia for myself. My eyes have been on her since the moment she arrived in a mid-length black dress, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulder. She has a smile on her face–a fake smile that not many people notice, but I do. It looks like she is barely keeping herself together. I watch her interact with a few people before entering into a small room by the corner with her brother. My eyes are currently boring into the door when she
LIA Even as I fought for my life inside the bathroom, my thoughts were about him, barging in like a knight in shining armor and saving me from my self-destruction, just like he did in Leavenworth. Even when I felt a hand on my lower back, I wished it was him because that would be the only way I would survive. Being attached to someone who probably considers me a stranger is alarming, but my mind works in a way that even I don't understand. And it's been fixated on Grumpy ever since he left. All he did was do his job by saving my life. But I can't stop thinking about him, wanting him with me because the last time I knew comfort was with him, though my life was in danger then. So anytime I need a moment of solace, my mind always goes to the short moment I spent with him. My hands stay wrapped around Grumpy's waist throughout the drive. It was for the best that I left the memorial. I couldn't go back in and face Gareth after what happened between us. What Gareth was mad about wasn't
LIA It's been one week and I'm still stuck in the garden with Grumpy and me. I can't stop thinking about how he gently patted my back while I cried my heart out on his chest. How even though he didn't say a word to me, his presence was very comforting. It isn't a memory that should linger in my mind. It's probably what decent and kind people do, but I'm not used to it, which perfectly explains my fixation. I am not used to even the bare minimum. Before we departed, I contemplated asking for his name and his phone number, but I didn't want to seem desperate or overstep when he was merely being nice so, I thought against it and just thanked him. I probably will never see him again. The first, and second encounters were coincidences but it is very unlikely for a third to happen. I have also made up my mind to hand over ROQ to Gareth. Frankly, I don't feel as much guilt as I thought I would. If anyone deserves to lead the company, it's Gareth. The sound of my flip-flops echoes on t
LIA I have been in a state of disarray, unable to think about anything else ever since I got that message. A never-ending storm of questions floods my thoughts with no answers in sight. The only concrete detail I have is the Rolex wristwatch the man wore—a rare, limited edition I recognize. This information is useless if I can't identify the man in question. I'm going crazy out of my mind and confused. My day drifts by in its usual monotony. I have my much-needed coffee, replay the video over and over again until my head hurts, and take a shower that does little to clear the fog from my mind. Then I head downstairs and eat the most distasteful breakfast ever—cereal—while I mull over the video again. Just as I'm about to head out to meet the anonymous sender, I get a call from Uncle Stanley. Twenty minutes later, I find myself in the worn booth of a bakery, sitting across from Uncle Stanley. The memory of coming here with Uncle Stanley as a child sits at the back of my mind, vivi
NIKOLAI After I watched her cry her heart out right in front of me, there was no way I could just let go of her, so bugging her phone was the most appropriate way to keep touch without spooking her. Honestly, I am just worried about her. Anyone would be. Seeing a beautiful woman cry so intensely for an hour would make anyone want to check on her, no? Now, I'm starting to think maybe that wasn't the best way to keep in touch with her because the tracker hasn't moved for a week. My foot taps rhythmically against the floor as I fixate on the tracker showing Lia’s location on my phone. "Do you have a girlfriend?" Hannah's voice breaks through my concentration from the hospital bed. Her eyes are glued on the signed book of her favorite author that Xan got for her yesterday. "No." Her gaze flickers to my phone and back. "Then why did you keep staring at your phone?" "I'm not." I shove my phone into my pocket with more force than necessary. Hannah notices and raises an eyebrow,
LIA Several minutes after the shootout, I still tremble uncontrollably against Nikolai's back. Though he is riding the bike at a steady speed, the wind lashes on my skin like a whip, forcing its way into my lungs and choking me. Each time I try to close my eyes against the stinging air, the vision of bullets tearing into Liam's body haunts me, so I keep them open, letting tears trace a path down my cheeks. I have never been this close to losing my life before. Even when Grumpy pushed me off a two-story building in Leavenworth, I didn't feel the same terror as in the cafe. It felt as though it was my final moment as if I was taking my last breath. I don't know how I managed to crawl through the shards of glass on the floor and out of the cafe. I don't even know how I survived the shootout, but one thing I'm certain of is that if it wasn't for Grumpy, I wouldn't be alive now. If Grumpy hadn't been at the right place and time, I'd be dead. The thought sends a cold dread through me.
LIA "Shhh," I wince. As warm tea sloshes over the rim, Grumpy catches it in time with his fast reflexes before it tips over. "Oh my god," I say at the mess I almost caused. "I'm so sorry. I am really sorry." "Your hands," is what Grumpy says after he sets the mug down. I stretch my palms out to him. He grabs my hands by the wrists. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" "I—" I start, then pause, taking in a breath. My mind was in so much torture, that I became numb to physical pain. Until now. Grumpy's face is taut as he reaches down to the center table, pulling an ointment tube out. Holding both of my hands in one grip, he unscrews the lid of the tube and squeezes out a small amount of cream. "It will hurt a bit," he warns. My body jumps when the cool cream makes contact with my bruised skin. I drag my teeth over my lips to stifle my cry of pain. "You good?" A strangled "Uh huh" escapes my lips. As he applies the ointment, his thumb moves in slow, soothing ci
LIA The soft morning sun kisses Nikolai's skin, turning it into a rich, golden tan as he tends to the flower garden in the backyard...yes, I said that right. He currently has a watering can in his hand as he sprays water across the flowers. For a moment, I thought this was a figment of my imagination, but the crunch of gravel beneath my feet, the slosh of water, and the scent of damp soil indicate that it isn't. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing corded arms, and a pair of shorts hug his muscular thighs. In equal disbelief and delight, I stand for a full minute, watching him work fluidly, before snapping out of my trance. "You are watering flowers," I say matter-of-factly as if the sight in front of me isn't proof enough. Everything feels real, but this moment feels surreal. It's like I'm in an alternate reality. He responds with a low rumble, "Yes." "Why?" A hint of incredulity escapes through my voice before I can rein it in. I correct myself quickly, "I mean, you don't
NIKOLAIThe phone trembles in my hand, and I clench it so hard my knuckles ache as I fight the urge to hurl it across the room. My pulse drums loud and fast in my ears, each beat stoking the frustration, the doubt, and the guilt.Yes, I’m going to tell Lia I’m quitting. But not tonight. Not after everything that has happened. And not because I care about her more than Hannah.Screw Xander for even saying that. Screw him for daring to throw that accusation in my face. As if everything I’ve done, and every decision I’ve made haven’t been for my sister. Every damn sacrifice, how I live my life has been for my sister’s sake. Every time I think of doing something, the first thing that crosses my mind is how it’ll impact her.Everything has been heavily influenced by my sister—.Right. That isn’t entirely true. I have made a decision solely for me before. Just once I made a decision, and I didn’t think about my sister, but my selfish self. Accepting the job from Lia was the only time I wasn
NIKOLAISigning the contract with Lia was a selfish decision. I knew from the start that the pay wouldn’t cover my sister’s hospital bills, but I still went for the job. Now I’m paying the price for that decision.For the past one week, I’ve taken on some of the most dangerous jobs I’ve ever accepted. The kind of jobs that put me inches away from death. Jobs that used to give me a thrill and make me feel alive in some twisted way. But now, I can’t say the same anymore. Because the thrill no longer fuels me, rather it unsettles me. Every time I’m on the edge of life and death, I find myself hesitating. The adrenaline I used to love now feels more like a sick twist in my gut and it makes me want to turn and run, to protect myself.My sister makes me feel fearless. For her I’m ready to face anything, come hell, or high water. But it’s different when it comes to Lia. She makes me want to back down and avoid risks. Because every time I think about facing something that could end me, there’s
LIAPanic kicks in, pressing me forward until I burst into the kitchen. Relief washes over me as I see him, right there.Nikolai’s changed out of his soaked clothes, though his hair still glistens with drops of water, the dark strands occasionally sending a bead sliding down his neck. He's wearing those low-rise pants that hug his hips, and a fitted tee stretched over his frame, showing just enough… no. I shake my head and dart my eyes away. This isn’t the time to be ogling him; I’m here to confront him.When I shift my gaze back towards him, he’s looking at me over his shoulder, and the tiniest smile pulls at his lips before he looks away, or not… I’m just imagining things. Nikolai isn’t smiling at me.“Feel better?” His voice pulls me back to the moment as he turns fully, his eyes skimming over me with that subtle, unreadable appraisal.“Yes,” I answer and sneezes immediately, disproving my answer.“Clearly not.” He stops right in front of me, holding out a steaming cup. The space
LIAThe words I’ve kept buried seem to boil up inside of me. Words of hurt, longing, heartache that has twisted itself deep, when even I can barely reach it. I want to scream at him. I want to demand answers, force him to tell me why he disappeared, why he left me here to be mad with worry, clawing through days that stretched endlessly without him.But as he stands there, with softened face and eyes weighed with something unsaid, looking at me like he hasn’t shattered my world, like he hasn’t been gone for a week without a trace, like I wasn’t shell of myself because of his absence, like I haven’t been teetering on the edge, the words slip away. Every line I rehearsed in the mirror all vanish. My voice fades under the weight of his gaze and his silence.Tears spill over before I can stop them, mingling with the rain that lashes down, soaking me to the bone. The chill seeps into my skin, but the burn of his stare holds me still, locked in place.The world feels muffled, just the sound
LIAGetting ready for work doesn’t take long, and in no time, I’m pulling into the parking lot of ROQ.Kate is already at the entrance with her attention laser-focused on the tablet in her hand until she spots me. She and I have met in the middle ground and have agreed that she won’t jump in step beside and scare the living daylights out of me, she stays in my line of sight.As I approach, her eyes shift past me, darting through the lot. She doesn’t have to tell me who she’s looking for. I feel the same, though I doubt it runs deep for herFinally, her gaze snaps back to me, and with a quiet nod, she says, “Good morning, ma’am.”I nod in acknowledgment, too weighed down to respond.“Have you been able to reach him?” she asks. I shake my head, trying to hide how much I’m affected by Nikolai’s absence. But Kate’s eyes narrow, noticing more than I wish she would.“I wonder where Grumpy is.”I halt abruptly in my steps, making Kate tilt her head slightly toward me. “Is something wrong?”
LIAI haven’t heard from Nikolai in a week, and it feels like my world’s been stuck on pause. Scratch that—life hasn’t just paused. It’s slowed to a dull, gray crawl.The day he disappeared, I sensed something was wrong. I tried to get through to him every way I knew how. I called him more times than I can count, sent message after message. Eventually, his line stopped going through, so I left voicemails, each one more desperate than the last. But I got nothing. Not a single reply.Even though my project has been moving faster, and my week has been busier than ever, Nikolai is still there, at the back of my mind. He’s everywhere I look, his presence in every corner of my apartment.I water his flowers religiously, telling myself he’ll be back. After all, our contract still has four months left. Nikolai is responsible—he’d never just leave without finishing what he started. Yet, with each day that passes, I’ve been forced to make up new excuses for why he hasn’t called, why he hasn’t c
NIKOLAI“I don’t repeat myself,” I groan out.She lowers the can and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, her expression unbothered. “I’m waiting until Hannah wakes up. I want to see her.”“You won’t be seeing her when she wakes up. Leave.” My voice is flat, final. But Blake, as always, presses on.“And why’s that?” She tosses the empty can into a nearby bin with a loud clatter and crosses her arms.“Because I said so.”She coughs out a rough scoff. “It’s been ages since I saw her. I miss her. So, I’m seeing her whether you like it or not.” “And then leave again?” My voice comes out as a bitter hiss, laced with disdain. I shake my head slowly. “I’m not putting Hannah that emotional stress again.” The thought of watching her disappointment is unbearable; having to explain, once more, why one of her favorite people is walking away with no real reason. There’s a reason it’s only me and Xander in her life now.Blake’s jaw clenches. “Don’t act like I left by choice. I had no other op
NIKOLAII don’t how I managed to ride my bike from the apartment to the hospital, but I did. In a blur of speeding through intersections, narrowly missing cars, and racing against dread. But somehow, I’m here, breathless and disheveled as I burst through the sliding doors of the hospital. The sterile smell of antiseptics stings my nostrils, but I barely register it, the frantic drumming in my chest drowning everything.A flash of someone in scrubs brushing past me jolts me back into the moment, and I nearly collide with him. "Watch it!” I snap, already halfway down the corridor, not waiting to hear his indignant mutter behind me.The air grows thick as I approach Hannah’s room, every step heavier than the last. My heart is pounding, and as I reach for the door handle, the simple act of pushing it open feels like an eternity.Nausea rolls over me when I’m greeted with eerie emptiness and no sign of Hannah. No. No. This can’t be happening. This can’t fucking be real. Hannah can’t be—n
NIKOLAI“What’s it?” I say with a raised brow.“Did… I do something wrong?” Her voice is quiet, her fingers fidgeting at her side.“No.”She swallows hard and her throat bobs.“Then why?”“Why what?”“Why have you been acting strange?” each word drops slowly, almost as if she’s afraid of what my answer might be. “Like I did something to piss you off.”I almost scoff. Lia couldn’t piss me off even if she tried, but I’m not about to say that to her face.“You didn’t piss me off,” I say simply, folding my arms.Her gaze drops for a moment before she meets my eyes again, her expression tinged with worry. “I... I know I did some embarrassing things yesterday. One thing in particular that’s probably pissed you off.”My brow furrows. I can’t think of anything Lia could have done to irritate me when she was drunk, but now that she mentioned it, I’m curious. “Which is?"She draws in a shaky breath and squeezes her eyes shut briefly as the words tumble out. “I’m sorry for... for asking you to h