LIAI spent the entire night awake, my mind refusing to settle as hours crawled by up until the first ray of sunlight bled into the sky. My mind circled relentlessly around the possibility that Nikolai might have a girlfriend. Nikolai doesn't strike me as the type to casually save a number with love emojis, so the only logical conclusion I can draw is that the person means something more to him—likely his girlfriend. At first, a heavy wave of disappointment settled in my chest. But as the reality set in, the disappointment morphed into a hot wave of embarrassment. I cringed hard at the thought of how I put him in an awkward position, fishing for compliments when he clearly seemed disinterested in my ridiculous dress-up game—a game I now regret with every fiber of my being. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly be more embarrassing, I proved myself wrong by doing something much worse than before.Someone, shoot me, please, put me out of my misery.Honestly, it is quite believable t
NIKOLAI It's my first day at work and I'm already pissed off. I'm barely restraining the urge to go back and plant a fist squarely in Gareth's face as I trail behind Lia into the office. If it were to be only me, I certainly would take the shot at Gareth, but Lia's there, and she is my employer, so I have to act civil. Everything I do reflects on her, at least in here. This is why I despise office work. I can't just pull out a gun and clock someone in the head just because I feel like or they piss me off. There is too many rules and regulations, it's very annoying. This job is already shaping to be a nightmare, and it's only day one. The redhead secretary moves with quick steps, circling around me as if I'm not there, before handling a tablet to Lia, her face tight. "You need to see this." Lia reluctantly takes the tablet and as her eyes set on the glowing screen, they widen. The color drains from her face, leaving her pale, and her fingers grip the tablet so tightly that her
LIAI grip the armrests, trying to compose myself as a voice fills the vast boardroom, announcing Gareth as the acting CEO. My inside churn, driving in the reality of each word. The board members have unanimously voted Gareth in for the main time due to the controversies surrounding me presently. The board members have shown their reluctance to appoint me as the CEO of ROQ, and the articles about me has been the perfect excuse to push me out. For a month, Gareth will be in charge. Then they will vote again. I want to laugh about the absurdity of it all. Apparently the board members are allowed to vote out a CEO deemed incompetent indefinitely. So it doesn't matter if my father passed the company to me, I can get it taken away from me forever.I stay seated as the sound of chairs scraping against the floor grates on my already frayed nerves. The board members of ROQ begin to file out, their murmurs blending into a distant hum. I don't trust my legs to not betray me and make me stu
LIA With a defeated heart, I watch Nikolai walk out, leaving an unsettling silence that seems to fill every corner. Begrudgingly, I stand to my feet and trudge to my room. I first take a long, hot shower before heading to the kitchen to make dinner. By 9pm, dinner is ready, but Nikolai is still nowhere to be found. At 10pm, I'm already anxious, wanting to call him and demand his whereabouts. But then that will be out of line as we don't have any special relationship, so I think better of it. At 11pm, my panic has taken over, twisting my gut. Just as I'm about to lose my mind, the front door creaks open. Relief floods through me as I spring to my feet, hurrying across the large foyer. "Nikolai, is that you?" I call out, not caring about the anticipation that bleeds into my voice. "Yes." My heart jumps to my throat at the sight of Nikolai. Bruises darken his knuckles and a nasty black eye is forming. "What happened?" I rush to him, taking his hand without thinking. "H
LIAI have kept to the promise I made yesterday. Every interaction between Nikolai and me has been strictly professional. We only exchanged a brief greeting when we saw each other this morning. Neither of us acknowledged whatever the hell happened yesterday—not that it hasn't consumed my thoughts all night. When he suggested making breakfast, I turned it down, though it hurt my heart. As much as it was a friendly gesture to him, I would latch onto it and twist it into something much more. And I don't want that. Not when I'm trying to build boundaries between us. We're currently in the car, and the silence between us is heavy. I'm sitting in the backseat, and I have caught Nikolai glancing at me three times now. Maybe he's wondering why I'm acting so distant. Or maybe not. Maybe he doesn't think about me at all. Maybe I don't matter to him outside of work. Maybe I'm the least among the things he cares for. Yet here I am with my thoughts spiraling around him, unable to shake him away
NIKOLAI Warmth unfurled in my chest when Lia said she trusted me with her life and secrets. I know she means it in a professional sense, but fuck if I'm not on cloud nine. This morning has been insanely awkward between us since the moment we set our eyes on each other this morning. It's almost like she's deliberately keeping her distance, but I can't be so sure about it. So I decide not to push her on it. The rest of day drags into an endless string meetings. I was so bored out of my mind, I want to gnaw my eyes out. My ears feel like they might start bleeding from the constant droning of voices. But at least, there is a silver lining to it. I get to watch Lia, stealing glances whenever I can and, seeing her speak, I especially like how her gaze finds me whenever it seems she's losing her composure like I'm her anchor in the sea of chaos. I want to tell her so much that she's a natural leader. She won't believe me, but it's the truth. She is just two days in and she's already fou
LIA I force myself to walk away from Nikolai so that I don't blurt out questions eating away my inside. I don't understand why he keeps doing this to me. Why can't he just let me set boundaries between us for the sake of my sanity? His gaze sears into the back of my head as I cross the living room. The moment I'm out of the view, rounding the corner, my legs give out and I stagger against the nearest wall as I release a frustrated sigh. It's utterly stupid to feel this wave of longing every time Nikolai takes a call from his girlfriend. As if I could ever stand a chance with him even if he were single. He is hot and handsome and so freaking huge while I'm just... painfully ordinary and very average looking. My shoulders slump as I start to make my way to my room. I have a whole lot of things that should occupy my mind, a lot to achieve like ensuring the success of the new project, winning over the board of directors, securing the CEO position of ROQ, finding a lead as regards
NIKOLAI"Why are you doing this again?" I ask, my voice laced with exasperation as I watch the two girls saunter away toward the bar."For an exclusive invitation," Xander mutters under his breath even though the girls are out of earshot.I let out an amused, if slightly pained, groan. I can tell this is so much torture for Xander as much as it is for me. The girls have been insufferable since the moment we arrived, and I’m not even exaggerating. The first one acts like a child, constantly comparing her hand to mine and reminding me every five seconds how ridiculously huge I am, while she’s so 'petite'. It’s irritating, to say the least.The other one, well, even I’m at a loss for words to describe her. But Xander’s the one bearing the brunt of it. My annoyance is obvious, while Xander’s keeping up his charming facade that I fear will slip any moment from now.It pains me to sit here, but I already made a promise to Xan."I'm starting to think it isn't worth it anymore," Xander mutter
NIKOLAIThe phone trembles in my hand, and I clench it so hard my knuckles ache as I fight the urge to hurl it across the room. My pulse drums loud and fast in my ears, each beat stoking the frustration, the doubt, and the guilt.Yes, I’m going to tell Lia I’m quitting. But not tonight. Not after everything that has happened. And not because I care about her more than Hannah.Screw Xander for even saying that. Screw him for daring to throw that accusation in my face. As if everything I’ve done, and every decision I’ve made haven’t been for my sister. Every damn sacrifice, how I live my life has been for my sister’s sake. Every time I think of doing something, the first thing that crosses my mind is how it’ll impact her.Everything has been heavily influenced by my sister—.Right. That isn’t entirely true. I have made a decision solely for me before. Just once I made a decision, and I didn’t think about my sister, but my selfish self. Accepting the job from Lia was the only time I wasn
NIKOLAISigning the contract with Lia was a selfish decision. I knew from the start that the pay wouldn’t cover my sister’s hospital bills, but I still went for the job. Now I’m paying the price for that decision.For the past one week, I’ve taken on some of the most dangerous jobs I’ve ever accepted. The kind of jobs that put me inches away from death. Jobs that used to give me a thrill and make me feel alive in some twisted way. But now, I can’t say the same anymore. Because the thrill no longer fuels me, rather it unsettles me. Every time I’m on the edge of life and death, I find myself hesitating. The adrenaline I used to love now feels more like a sick twist in my gut and it makes me want to turn and run, to protect myself.My sister makes me feel fearless. For her I’m ready to face anything, come hell, or high water. But it’s different when it comes to Lia. She makes me want to back down and avoid risks. Because every time I think about facing something that could end me, there’s
LIAPanic kicks in, pressing me forward until I burst into the kitchen. Relief washes over me as I see him, right there.Nikolai’s changed out of his soaked clothes, though his hair still glistens with drops of water, the dark strands occasionally sending a bead sliding down his neck. He's wearing those low-rise pants that hug his hips, and a fitted tee stretched over his frame, showing just enough… no. I shake my head and dart my eyes away. This isn’t the time to be ogling him; I’m here to confront him.When I shift my gaze back towards him, he’s looking at me over his shoulder, and the tiniest smile pulls at his lips before he looks away, or not… I’m just imagining things. Nikolai isn’t smiling at me.“Feel better?” His voice pulls me back to the moment as he turns fully, his eyes skimming over me with that subtle, unreadable appraisal.“Yes,” I answer and sneezes immediately, disproving my answer.“Clearly not.” He stops right in front of me, holding out a steaming cup. The space
LIAThe words I’ve kept buried seem to boil up inside of me. Words of hurt, longing, heartache that has twisted itself deep, when even I can barely reach it. I want to scream at him. I want to demand answers, force him to tell me why he disappeared, why he left me here to be mad with worry, clawing through days that stretched endlessly without him.But as he stands there, with softened face and eyes weighed with something unsaid, looking at me like he hasn’t shattered my world, like he hasn’t been gone for a week without a trace, like I wasn’t shell of myself because of his absence, like I haven’t been teetering on the edge, the words slip away. Every line I rehearsed in the mirror all vanish. My voice fades under the weight of his gaze and his silence.Tears spill over before I can stop them, mingling with the rain that lashes down, soaking me to the bone. The chill seeps into my skin, but the burn of his stare holds me still, locked in place.The world feels muffled, just the sound
LIAGetting ready for work doesn’t take long, and in no time, I’m pulling into the parking lot of ROQ.Kate is already at the entrance with her attention laser-focused on the tablet in her hand until she spots me. She and I have met in the middle ground and have agreed that she won’t jump in step beside and scare the living daylights out of me, she stays in my line of sight.As I approach, her eyes shift past me, darting through the lot. She doesn’t have to tell me who she’s looking for. I feel the same, though I doubt it runs deep for herFinally, her gaze snaps back to me, and with a quiet nod, she says, “Good morning, ma’am.”I nod in acknowledgment, too weighed down to respond.“Have you been able to reach him?” she asks. I shake my head, trying to hide how much I’m affected by Nikolai’s absence. But Kate’s eyes narrow, noticing more than I wish she would.“I wonder where Grumpy is.”I halt abruptly in my steps, making Kate tilt her head slightly toward me. “Is something wrong?”
LIAI haven’t heard from Nikolai in a week, and it feels like my world’s been stuck on pause. Scratch that—life hasn’t just paused. It’s slowed to a dull, gray crawl.The day he disappeared, I sensed something was wrong. I tried to get through to him every way I knew how. I called him more times than I can count, sent message after message. Eventually, his line stopped going through, so I left voicemails, each one more desperate than the last. But I got nothing. Not a single reply.Even though my project has been moving faster, and my week has been busier than ever, Nikolai is still there, at the back of my mind. He’s everywhere I look, his presence in every corner of my apartment.I water his flowers religiously, telling myself he’ll be back. After all, our contract still has four months left. Nikolai is responsible—he’d never just leave without finishing what he started. Yet, with each day that passes, I’ve been forced to make up new excuses for why he hasn’t called, why he hasn’t c
NIKOLAI“I don’t repeat myself,” I groan out.She lowers the can and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, her expression unbothered. “I’m waiting until Hannah wakes up. I want to see her.”“You won’t be seeing her when she wakes up. Leave.” My voice is flat, final. But Blake, as always, presses on.“And why’s that?” She tosses the empty can into a nearby bin with a loud clatter and crosses her arms.“Because I said so.”She coughs out a rough scoff. “It’s been ages since I saw her. I miss her. So, I’m seeing her whether you like it or not.” “And then leave again?” My voice comes out as a bitter hiss, laced with disdain. I shake my head slowly. “I’m not putting Hannah that emotional stress again.” The thought of watching her disappointment is unbearable; having to explain, once more, why one of her favorite people is walking away with no real reason. There’s a reason it’s only me and Xander in her life now.Blake’s jaw clenches. “Don’t act like I left by choice. I had no other op
NIKOLAII don’t how I managed to ride my bike from the apartment to the hospital, but I did. In a blur of speeding through intersections, narrowly missing cars, and racing against dread. But somehow, I’m here, breathless and disheveled as I burst through the sliding doors of the hospital. The sterile smell of antiseptics stings my nostrils, but I barely register it, the frantic drumming in my chest drowning everything.A flash of someone in scrubs brushing past me jolts me back into the moment, and I nearly collide with him. "Watch it!” I snap, already halfway down the corridor, not waiting to hear his indignant mutter behind me.The air grows thick as I approach Hannah’s room, every step heavier than the last. My heart is pounding, and as I reach for the door handle, the simple act of pushing it open feels like an eternity.Nausea rolls over me when I’m greeted with eerie emptiness and no sign of Hannah. No. No. This can’t be happening. This can’t fucking be real. Hannah can’t be—n
NIKOLAI“What’s it?” I say with a raised brow.“Did… I do something wrong?” Her voice is quiet, her fingers fidgeting at her side.“No.”She swallows hard and her throat bobs.“Then why?”“Why what?”“Why have you been acting strange?” each word drops slowly, almost as if she’s afraid of what my answer might be. “Like I did something to piss you off.”I almost scoff. Lia couldn’t piss me off even if she tried, but I’m not about to say that to her face.“You didn’t piss me off,” I say simply, folding my arms.Her gaze drops for a moment before she meets my eyes again, her expression tinged with worry. “I... I know I did some embarrassing things yesterday. One thing in particular that’s probably pissed you off.”My brow furrows. I can’t think of anything Lia could have done to irritate me when she was drunk, but now that she mentioned it, I’m curious. “Which is?"She draws in a shaky breath and squeezes her eyes shut briefly as the words tumble out. “I’m sorry for... for asking you to h