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49. Mistakes
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Wondering if the heartache will ever go away, Lili tried everythig to free her mind of TJ Finnegan, but it wasn't working. She was truly miserable.
She was numb to the world around her and she desperately wanted him back but she was just to scared to give it another chance. She felt that she was protecting herself and wasn't willing to risk her safety for her happiness.
So life went on and she was slowly dying on the inside.
She couldn't concentrate and she was way behind on her next book.
The words were just stuck inside of her brain.
She would sit down and write, erase and rewrite, never accomplishing anything of value.
For the thousandth time, she picked up the phone and put it down. She wanted to call Anders to get Finn's new phone number but she always hung up before she actually called.
She knew that she would at least need to reach out to him
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Protecting My Heart 50. Letting Go
Raw emotions! Finn was barely able to process that Lili was standing here in front of him, wearing her engagement ring and shaking like a leaf. Was this a dream? Bounding three steps forward, he hugged her and without thinking, his lips touched hers. As he felt her yield to him, he let his passion take over. Pulling away, he looked into her eyes and whispered, "You're real!" She laughed before saying, "Yes, I am a real. I am a real fool and was too scared to listen to my heart." "You're here now, that's all that matters." He brushed her lips with his again and looked around for Drake, who was nowhere to be found. "Let's go downstairs to my room and we can talk there in private." Holding out his hand, she took it and they walked silently down to his little room. They sat together on the couch and Lili placed her head on his shoulder. Finally all of the emotion
Protecting My Heart 51. Exploring Together
Some moments are just magic.The way your body and mind react to the scenes around you.Finn felt like he was living in a fantasy world as he held her hand and they walked into the restaurant. The building was historical but the inside was truly amazing for their romanctic day out.They were sitting on a bench for two with a small round table. The half wall, on Lili's right had the most beautiful arraingement of victorian style flowers in cream colors. To his left, the fireplace was roaring and the sounds of the room melted away.The only thing that Finn noticed was Lili's smile, every strand of hair, her eyes, the tip of her nose. He was drinking it all in because she was intoxicating to him.So yes, the moment was magical and he never wanted it to end.Fortuanately, he had his phone back and he asked the waitress to take a picture of them. He might no
Protecting My Heart 52. The Jyllian Factor
Figuring the only way to get to Finn was through Drake, Jyllian managed to get herself arrested on Monday night. She made sure to wear her shortest skirt and a sheer top that didn't leave anything to the imagination. Rumor had it, Finn met Drake a few nights a week to work as a mentor at the station.She was determined that their lives were going to intersect! So she set her master plan into action. As the officer dragged her into the station she insisted that she needed to speak with Drake. She made such a ruckus that Drake finally popped out of his office to calm her down. "Jyllian, you need to lower your tone and your attitude. I can always add some extra charges to today's list. Your choice." She kept squirming, trying to break free but it was no use. She was too high to really pull away. Mumbling her words, she exclaimed, "I want to talk with Finn! Why won't he call me? I know he
Protecting My Heart 53. Stranger in the House
Panicking that she had nothing appropriate to wear to dinner with his parents, Finn finally gave in and took Lili to King of Prussia to go shopping and he grumbled, "Lili, if you cannot find anything in this place, we are not going anywhere else. No excuses. This place has everything!" She was shocked as they walked in from the carpark at the enormity of the mall and the fact that they needed a map to get around the place. It might very well take days to find each other if they got lost. They held hands as they wandered through various stores and about two hours in, she found the perfect winter dress and black boots for their evening with his parents. He watched from where he was standing, as the look on her face changed and she walked over to him quickly, asking "Finn, what the hell are you planning to wear tonight? You cannot go to a fancy steakhouse in a cowboy outfit! That just won't do." Oh, he was in tro
Protecting My Heart 54. A Winter’s Night
The shower was running as Finn entered his room and he heard Lili singing as her voice floated through the air. He paused for a moment, thankful for the little things and prayed to that distant God, that he wouldn't be so distant anymore. Her question snapped him out of his daydreaming and he popped his head in and asked, "Sorry, can you repeat?" "Ugh! You're just pretending that you can't hear me! Getting a free show!" She teased as she wrapped the bath towel around her little frame. "I can look!" Finn defended himself, while Lili rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I asked if you heard about the blizzard out west. We might not get back tomorrow. I was thinking, if we can't, let's just travel around until the weather clears. Anywhere but here or there!" Finn loved her innocence and he suggested, "Let's fly to San Diego for a few days and feel the sun's warmth against our skin." "Hmmm! Perfect! But now, put on you
Protecting My Heart 55. The Coldest Month
Another winter storm and Finn and Lili were stuck in the house together. Not that they were complaining about being alone! No interruptions! No uninvited visitors! For both of them, life finally started to feel normal. She was back to writing daily and Finn was working out at the ranch or was doing paperwork at the house on snow days. Today was a paperwork kind of day and he was buried in numbers when Lili bound in. He was glad for this distraction as she whispered in his ear. He stop what he was doing upon registering the news. He turned and kissed the tip of her nose and said, "Hmmm! Best get married before we start a family anyways. It just means that we can keep on trying my love." He knew that she was disappointed that she wasn't pregnant but they were getting married in April so he wasn't in a rush to start their family. "I know but just the thought was so th
Protecting My Heart 56. Forgiveness Without Conditions
The next day the winter winds were whipping up again and it looked like another storm might be heading their way. Lili wasn't in the mood to write so they took the snowmobiles out and headed over to Russ and Reese's house. The exileration of flying across the frozen fields was amazing as they were bundled underneath their winter layers. The ride was amazing and Lili teased, "It's like going over the hills and through the woods to Grandma's house, we go!" Finn laughed at her silliness and to hell with the cold attitude. It felt amazing as they raced along for the short ride to Russ and Reese's house. Someone by the name of Finn, might just have done a few cirlces in the snow and maybe a figure 8. He felt like a little kid as they raced along. Parking the snowmobiles, they took off a few layers before they walked in and scared everyone. Finn said, "Here's hoping Russ doesn't pile on more work
Protecting My Heart 57. The Wedding Dress
Spring was around the corner. Along with wedding bells and ... dress shopping with her friends. Lili looked amazing as she stood all in white as Reese and Stacey watched her in the mirror. "Wow! This is so ridiculous. That dress is nicer than the other one." Stacey blurted out. Reese chimed in, "Well, unless you prefer the first one she tried on." "I don't know. This is so hard. I only didn't like two of the dresses so far." Lili whined. This was her seventh dress and the decision was just getting harder to make. "Nothing stands out as special." she was starting to whine and get frustrated. She was a ball of confusion and finally Reese opined, "Lili, you are beautiful and the important thing is that Finn will love you on that day no matter what you are wearing." "Oh, I know but pictures last forever!" They all laughed at the face that she made
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Protecting My Heart 79. Epilogue
"Jordan and Stephen! Give that back to your sister right now!" Lili scolded as they walked through the amusement park. Morgan, who was just three years old, was crying because the boys took her stuffed bear that Finn just won for her at the cheesy boardwalk clown game. Finn scooped her up and calmed her tears as Lili talked to the boys for the fifth time this afternoon. Drake and Claire walked over with Gia and Max who were pinching each other when their parents were not looking. Drake asked, "Has anyone seen Anders and his crew?" "Yeah, they went to the first aid hut to get Leah's hand cleaned. She fell when Justin pushed her." "Well, I think that after three days of this, we just need a little R&R back at the house and maybe some time around the pool," Claire said matter of factly. "Oh, Claire! Yes, that is just what we all need!" Lili sighed at the thought of relaxing
Protecting My Heart 78. Accident or Sabotage
The guests all watched in horror as the crystal chandelier above the grand ballroom started to sway violently. A deafening crack filled the room as wires snapped one by one and sparks flew around the ceiling. Someone yelled, "Look out!" And another screamed, "Get out of the way!" as loud as they could over the music. The band realized what was going on and as calmly as possible told the guests to get off of the dance floor and move to safety. Chaos won the day as the chandelier suddenly fell about a foot closer to the ground. The snapping of the wires contunued until it finally let loose in a freefall crashing to the ground. Guests that had scurried to the sides of the room started to scream in fear as crystals projectiled around the room. The chandelier was one thing, but then they smelled a thick acrid smoke that permeated the room. Many of the guests started to panic an
Protecting My Heart 77. Down the Aisle
Lili rolled over and reached for Finn, but he wasn't there. His side of the bed was cold as she felt the sheets. She felt like a piece of her was missing since he was always there to snuggle in the morning before they started their day. But today was different. She would be in his arms tomorrow morning! After the rehersal dinner, he went to stay at Anders so that they would not see each other before the wedding and Stacy stayed in their guest bedroom. Lili just stayed still and let her mind run through all of the tasks of the day. So much to do before 2 pm. Would she get it all done? Oh the nerves of a bride. Her wedding day! She was so excited and couldn't believe that she was marrying this man, her Finn and then they were taking off to Europe for a few weeks. Praying to herself that this day would be filled with happy memories and no stress from family or foes prete
Protecting My Heart 76. Just One More Day Until Forever
"Come on! We are going to be late." Finn gripped as he stood in the doorway trying to get Lili to walk out the door. He sighed as she slipped past him and he teased, "Are you going to be late to your own wedding tomorrow or is this a plan to ease the tensions when you don't show up?" Lili smacked his arm and walked to the other side of the truck, refusing to answer his brazen foolishness. "Get in!" she yelled as she taunted him with a seductive kiss that she blew in his direction. "Caught it!" he laughed as he hopped in and started the truck. They drove in silence for a few minutes when he asked, "Are you nervous about tomorrow? Any regrets, because now is the time to bail on me when no one is around." "TJ! Are you trying to get rid of me?" she looked at him cross as she folded her arms across her chest. "No, I am serious Lili. I come with my own baggage and I just want to make sure that you
Protecting My Heart 74. Final Preparations
Lili heard the horn blaring and she grabbed her purse and rushed out the door.Stacey was laughing at her friend's frantic pace. She could see the worry all over Lili's sweet little face. Her red hair, flowing in the wind as she raced to the car and jumped into the passenger side.She looked at Stacey with wild eyes as she thought to herself, 'just two more weeks until the wedding and they we are off to the fitting. Always in a hurry these days!'"Calm down. Finn is already totally in love with you and your little one on the way.""Stacey, I know. It's just, well everything. The reading of the will, Claire and Drake, the wedding, my brother, and on and on and on." Lili exhaled as she l
Protecting My Heart 73. The Reading of the Will
All dressed in black. Lili hated wearing black but she was supposed to be in mourning to the rest of the outside world. So, she gave in to customs to pretend that she cared about her father and she was dressed in black from head to toe. Finn on the other hand, loved the dress that she was wearing. The way it showed off her figure and her legs. She had her hair up in a professional looking bun and he noticed her neck. Oh, it drove him insane to know that they were walking out of the house in less than 5 minutes to go the reading of the will and he had other things on his mind, like taking that dress off of her. Did she know what she was doing to him?
Protecting My Heart 72. Free
Waking up at 4 am, Lili got out of bed and crept downstairs and sat at her desk and started to write. The words flowed freely as she poured her heart out. She had just started a new book and she was free from worrying about ... well just about everything. For the first time in her life she was free of the torture that she endured on behalf of her family. She was free! No more demands on who she dated or where she lived. No more legal letters telling her to not write anymore. No more controlling parental guidance. Her father would not be missed and she knew that was an awful thought but her family really was very dysfunctional. Extremely. Lili was so intent on writing that she didn't hear Finn as he walked in and leaned against the doorway. Just watching. His eyes sparkled at he watched his little lilipad typing away as she was lost in her own lit
Protecting My Heart 71. The Art of Letting Go
Anders read the letter and the news shocked Finn. "You're pregnant?" Finn asked again. Lili looked up in to his eyes and softly replied, "Yes, but this isn't how I planned on telling you. I had plans, special plans. Not like this." All of that special nonsense didn't matter to Finn. That wasn't him anyways. Finn forgot Anders was their and kissed her sweet lips and whispered in her ear, "My beautiful little Lili James is going to give me a beautiful lille baby. What's better than that?" Finn felt the magic of the moment and was in his own world with Lili when Anders cleared his throat. Letting Lili go, he looked at Anders and sheepishly said, "Forgot you were here." "Let's grab some coffee in the kitchen and talk through the events of today." Lili looked from Anders to Finn with curiosity. She was so thrilled with Finn's reaction to the baby news that she forgot abo
Protecting My Heart 70. Almost
Two weeks had passed and Finn felt like a piece of him was missing. Drake had always been there, even when he arrested Finn, he supported him when he had been at his lowest. Lili was standing there in the kitchen and knew what was eating him alive and she decided that she needed to do something about it. She put down the dish towel and walked over to him and boldly stated, "I am going to see my father in jail and finish this, for good." "What? You can't do that!" Finn said as he voice cracked. He was not letting her go to see her creepy father. The guy was a miserable man with nothing but hatred flowing through his viens. No wait, even worse than that...vindictiveness ran so deep that he spewed nothing but hate. Lili gave him her puppy dog eyes and walked over to him and said, "Listen, he can't hurt me in jail but he can try to continuously surprise us with one hate filled plot after another and one of them mi
