I walk up each morning as the sun rises now. I don’t need an alarm clock. It happens naturally. I leave my shades open, the sun touches me, and I feel refreshed.In the past few months, I’ve rarely felt sleepy because I listen to my body. I eat when I’m hungry, drink when I’m thirsty, sleep when I’m tired, and I’ve fallen into a sort of rhythm. I’m naturally in tune with the world around me, and it’s the best feeling.“I feel like my power has really grown here,” I say, as I join Zade in the garden. Work in the garden started for me a few days after I got here. Zade told me that if I wanted to eat, I needed to help grow and catch the food. So, now I stand in the rich dirt. I pick the plump produce, feel it weigh heavy in my hands.“I think there’s something about truly being one with the world that has given it the space to grow,” I continue. “And I mean my body as well as my magic. Everything about me feels better, more alive, and more useful.”“I’ve noticed the change in you as
It seems like everything else comes easier to me. I have block, attack, use magic, I can do all the things. But working through my anger is more difficult. Getting past the hurt of what happened with Gavin is tougher.“I don’t understand why I have to do this before I get my shield,” I say, slumped on the ground in the rock garden. “It’s not fair.”“What about it isn’t fair?” Zade asks, never one to just accept what I say.“Well, I’ll never have to face the alpha,” I reply. “Not ever again. He’s dead. So, my anger over that doesn’t matter. I can desire revenge against him. I’ll never get it.”“But what about your anger towards others?” Zade reminds me. “There are other people you wish to get revenge on, is there not?”My cheeks turn red under this accusation. It’s true, but how does he know it’s true? I tried to keep that side from him. He was never supposed to know that I still desire revenge like that. I know he wouldn’t approve of it if he did know.“You can’t keep things from
I think of Nicole every single day. I haven’t stopped thinking about her since the day we met. But finding Lizzie’s mate has been impossible. I guess I just can’t do it since I’m not here. There’s no way of knowing who he is. There’s no way to get her to release me.So, I stay on my own. I do still have family I could go to. I have aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who I miss. But it’s too dangerous to go to them, so I found a new hut on the countryside and I stay here.As I start a fire for the night, I’m reminded of my old cabin and all the memories Nicole and I made in it. I miss the cabin. I miss the memories. It had become my home and I loved it. But mostly, I miss her.Nicole. I want to see her again more than anything. But I know that if I go to her, I’ll be putting her at risk. So, I can’t. I must stay away from her and hope she’s doing well. I hope she’s making progress on her quest.If only I could make more progress on mine. I’m sure she’s doing amazing, and tha
In the end, it comes down to what I think Nicole would want. I respect her so much as a person, that I know I’d have to let her decide. Would she rather be safe? Or would she rather have the chance to be with me? As her mate, I have to know the right answer. We naturally know each other better than anyone else could. I can think with her mind. She’s within my heart.Furthermore, I spent enough time with her to know her. I know how strong she is, feisty, passionate, and loving. I know how much she wants to be with me. I know how much I want to be with her.“I’m sorry,” I say. “I would do anything to keep the people I love safe. Almost anything anyway. But I won’t give up my mate.“I just hope that you see that this isn’t the right way to be with someone. You should want someone to be with you just because you blackmailed them into doing so. You shouldn’t wield your magic over someone you claim to love.“You should want to be with someone who is with you of their own freewill. So
I wait at the temple for a few days for Zade to return. He doesn’t though. I think I knew once I saw he was gone that he wasn’t coming back. That’s a little terrifying. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. I feel like I’ve come far. But I know there’s so much more to learn. I learned that from Zade. There’s always more to learn. I want him to teach me forever.But my time here is over. I can probably rest here for as long as I want. I could probably wait for another person to come along and be their mentor.Maybe I’ll do that someday. I can foresee Caleb and I coming back here, leaving in peace, mentoring people and dealing with the upkeep of the temple.For now though, I have a mission. I need to get answers. I need to figure out where I’m from, who I am, and where I’m supposed to go from here.I do feel like I have important things to do. I have these power for a reason. I’m supposed to use it. I’m supposed to wield it wisely. I think there’s something I must change.I need to
Killing people affects me more than before. I guess that’s the tradeoff for having such power. When I’m in tune with the life around me, I mourn that life when it’s gone. I see beyond monsters and see the souls within.They were going to kill me though. And if they’re going to kill me I have every right to kill them. Even Zade didn’t disagree with that.So, I make sure nature wasn’t impacted too greatly. Then, I take time to bury the bodies. It makes me lose some progress. I know I’m losing at least a day over this fight, but I can’t just leave their corpses lying in the forest like this. Maybe that’s what I would do before, but not now. Now, I dig a hole for each of them. I bury them near each other. Then, I continue on my journey.Though it has taken me extra time, I do feel good about my decision. It seems more natural this way. I get to keep a bit of my soul too.By the time I near my old pack, I feel like maybe I can get the answers I need without all the bloodshed. That’s w
I never thought I’d be doing this, but I know I have to do it. I have to keep Nicole safe. I have to get revenge.This isn’t the kind of person I am, but it’s the kind of person I have to be for her. I’ll be anything I need to be for her. I’ll be anything she needs.It’s not always easy navigating the forest while blind. But I’ve learned how to adjust. My sense of smell, touch, and hearing have become stronger since they’re exclusively what I use to navigate this world with.So, I rely on them as I run. I tear through the trees, using Nicole as my inspiration. I can do this. I can fix this for her.I suspect the next place Lizzie will go is to Nicole. But I’m not too sure where Nicole is. Though I have my guesses.The thing is, I don’t think I exactly need to know where she is. There’s something between us that’s stronger than all other barriers. It helps us. It drives me forward.It’s a strange connection. And I’m not sure if I’m making this up or not. But it’s all I have to hel
I know Nicole is close by, so I follow that sense. And slowly, I make my way around the pack’s territory. Wolves are patrolling the area. Everyone seems on edge. I know something has already happened here, so it’s going to be more difficult to infiltrate it. Still, I get the sense that Nicole needs me. I have this feeling that she’s not safe. And I have to trust that instinct. I have to do what I can to keep her safe.A wolf walks by me and I freeze in the shadows. He’s so close that he could reach out and engage me in a fight easily. But I don’t want to fight. I just want to find her. So, I hide and he disappears into the night. Then, I keep looking until finally, I come across a silver cage. My heart breaks as I see Nicole crying in it.I want to go right to her. I want to reassure her that everything will be okay; I will get her out of this mess. But I have to be careful. I have to be cunning.Instead of going right to her, I scan the area. She’s locked in this cage, and th