Amelia Forbes
Everyday, my hatred for Jason Davenport burned brighter. I had so many thoughts in my mind toward him. Thoughts, ideas, that were sure to inflict pain if gotten a chance to be carried out—slam his head into a wall severally, kick him in the nuts as often as I could, but to mention a few. After all, it was only deserving.
I mean, as if the humiliation I'd passed through this morning in the cafeteria, because of him, was not enough, he went on to treat me like an absolute piece of worthless junk when we met up behind the school after classes, grabbing me by the collar of Adrian's jacket, as if I was some sort of guy he had issues with, and thumping my forehead because he got a B in his history homework, very much forgetting that I was human too and could make mistakes once in a while.
Thereafter, he ordered me to sit at the bleachers, under the sun and guard his stuff. To make matters worse, I had a headache, stemming from the bowl Kimberly had thrown at me during lunch. I actually grew dizzy sitting under the sun with a pounding head. Luckily, the practice ended just before things could get out of hand.
Adrian offered me a ride back. It was one of those days, I guess, when he wasn't rushing off to somewhere, like he normally did, after practice.
I'd been walking down the paved road outside the school, hoping to hail a taxi with the little change I had on me when his blue Ford rolled up beside me.
"Hey," he said to me, as his window slid down.
"Hi," I blushed, slightly embarrassed that I still had his jacket on, a favor from my mortal enemy's friend.
"You're on your way home, right?" He hooked an eyebrow.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Okay, I'll drop you off? If you want?" He shrugged.
"Um, okay, I guess," I said. It wasn't like it was the first time he was offering me a ride, or I was getting into his heavenly car.
Pressing a button so the door to the passenger seat unlocked—oddly enough, he preferred me sitting in the passenger seat—he gestured for me to climb in. That I did, without further hesitation, opening the door wider and slipping in. After I shut the door, my body already enveloped by the chilly atmosphere of the interior of his car, senses satiated with his familiar lavender scent, Adrian resumed driving.
He was a somewhat okay driver, that much I could say. He wasn't exactly bad, but neither was he great, in the sense that he could literally be texting with one hand and steering with the other, which I considered very unsafe. Asides from that, on occasions, he'd let go of the wheel to crack all ten knuckles, a habit of his I'd noticed on the third day he offered me a ride. But, although he was faulty in the concentration aspect, he never really went above the speed limit. Not the way I'd seen Jason do most times.
As usual, we sat in silence, him focused on his driving—sometimes, he did pay attention throughout the drive—me thinking up things to say to him but never really saying it. I guess just because someone was nice didn't necessarily mean you guys became a dynamic duo all of a sudden.
We were approaching downtown, a ten minute distance from my street, B-street, when, all of a sudden, he spoke to me.
"I saw you in the field today, during practice," he said, his eyes not leaving the road ahead. "I mean, I see you everytime, but today seemed kinda different. Like you were, um, not feeling too good or something."
All the while he spoke, I did nothing but watch him, drowning in the sweetness of his voice when low. I'd never heard him speak, at least to me directly. I mean, of course, I'd heard his voice before, just not towards me, and even that was not very often as he wasn't much of a talker. But now, now he was speaking to me, I couldn't help but admire how soothing his voice was, not too deep, but not squeaky or high pitched because of puberty either. It was just the right blend.
"So?" He glanced at me.
I blinked. Had he asked a question?
"I . . . sorry I didn't really get you," I said, feeling highly embarrassed.
"I was asking if you're alright, because back in the field you looked kinda sick." He told me.
He'd been watching me?
"Oh. Yeah, I'm good," I said.
"You sure?"
I nodded.
"Why do you even come to the bleachers so often?" He asked. "Like every single practice day I see you there. You like football that much?"
So, he didn't know? About every order Jason gave me? Apparently, he wasn't aware.
"Yeah," I lied. "I'm a fan of football. My dad initiated me . . . kinda."
"Oh?" He looked at me with a smile. "That's really dope. So, what's your favorite club?"
Oh, crap. Crap, I'd put myself in a tight situation.
"Um, Barca?" I raised my eyebrows.
"You're saying it like you aren't so sure," he chuckled. "Well, that's understandable. There are more than one amazing clubs. My favorite is Manchester United."
"That's so cool," I said with faux enthusiasm.
"Yeah," he nodded and seconds later, we fell into silence once more.
From the corner of my eye, I observed him drive. Watched his body language. Liked how easygoing and laid back he was. I admired every little detail about him, from his looks to his personality to his aura, he was just perfect, nondiscriminatory and cordial.
Eventually, he pulled into my street, went past the first few houses before finally stopping at the driveway of grandma's.
"Thank you," I said, looking at him as he turned off the car, a hand on the door lock. "For driving me. And for your jacket."
"My pleasure," he smiled.
"I'll return the jacket tomorrow unfailingly."
"Yeah, sure."
"Bye." I unlocked the door and stepped out, shutting it behind me.
I waved briefly before turning away from him and heading up the front porch. When I stopped to look back, his car was gone.
I turned back toward the house and began my ascent up the stairs. Getting to the door, my feet standing on the old mat that said 'Welcome!' in bold letters, I took out my key from my backpack and unlocked the door. I and my Nana had separate keys for the house. Whenever I was in and she wasn't, I was supposed to lock the door from inside. The same went for her whenever I wasn't in.
I closed the door behind me and locked it, leaving the key in its hole.
During my first months of living with Nana, whenever I came back from school, the first thing I'd yell was, "Nana, I'm home!", always forgetting that she was deaf and couldn't hear me. I began to adjust to her being deaf though, and now, I couldn't make that mistake again.
She wasn't in the living room when I walked in, so I headed on into the kitchen, where she was most likely to be. On getting there, I saw her sitting at the edge of the kitchen table, kneading a dress, her favorite pastime.
She looked up from the cloth in her hands as soon as I walked into the kitchen.
Hi, Nana, I communicated through sign language, walking over to her to give her a kiss on her smooth, wrinkled forehead. Although Nana was already seventy, she was still very agile, which was pretty much the reason I was sent to live with her instead of being sent to some crappy foster home. Thankfully.
Hi, sweetie, she gestured when I pulled back. How was your day?
Stressful. I drew back the seat beside her and fell into it, holding my head in my hands. Jason was being an asshole again.
Yeah, she knew about Jason. It was hard for her not to find out, judging by the fact that most times, I came home from his bullying with a tear stained face.
What did he do this time? She wanted to know.
Leaning back, I unbuttoned Adrian's jacket and faced her so she could see the stain on my shirt.
He's basically the reason for this, I communicated.
I think I should come to your school one of these days. Give Jason a piece of my mind, she frowned.
No, I shook my head. It's fine.
So, whose jacket is that? She asked after a short while of silence. I don't think it's yours.
No, it's not. A friend of Jason gave it to me to cover up the stain, I answered.
A friend of Jason's, she raised her grey eyebrows.
You don't have to worry. He's really nice and very different from Jason. He offers me a ride home on many occasions.
Okay, Nana shrugged. If you say so.
Yeah, I nodded, pushing back my seat and standing up. I had Jason's homework to do and his previous history one to look through, like he'd told me to just before he went home, and certify why he'd gotten a B, saying, "I can't have my machine malfunctioning now, can I?" as he walked away from me.
I gave Nana one more kiss on her cheek, this time asking her what we were having for dinner—I was looking forward to one of her wholesome meals. Telling me we were having chicken casserole made my stomach rumble in anticipation.
Picking up my backpack, I headed upstairs to my room. I opened the door and stepped into the small space I owned to myself, with it's small bed, definitely not anything close to queen sized, small dresser and closet.
I plopped down on the bed and pulled my backpack onto my lap. Getting out Jason's current homework as well as his previous history paper, I stared at them. Many times, I'd wanted to rip his homework all up and toss it into the trash can. Many times, I'd wished so bad that I could, but, just like me wishing Jason would stop bullying me, it was a dumb wish.
Sighing, I got out my own history homework, in which I'd gotten an A, and began comparing his with mine, word for word, trying to figure out what went wrong.
I noticed some errors on his paper. For one, I'd written the wrong spelling of a word. Secondly, I saw a question where I'd written an entirely offkey answer. I slapped my forehead, just realizing why it was this way. I was literally asleep while I was doing Jason's history homework.
Shaking my head at the mistake for which I was both thumped and regarded as a machine, I set his history homework aside.
Let bygones be bygones, I said in my mind.
Kicking off my shoes and shrugging off Adrian's jacket, I changed out of my school wear into a large t-shirt—it used to be my dad's—and denim shorts. Then I gathered my stained clothing and Adrian's jacket and went down to the laundry room to wash them.
I put them inside the laundry machine, scented the water with some lavender oil I found in Nana's room and then set the timer.
All the while I waited for the clothes to be done, my mind worked on, much to my distaste, moving from one issue to another and finally settling on Jason. And Kimberly.
How was I to avoid them if they kept bumping into me at school, or finding a way to do that. And, once again, Kimberly had thrown a bowl at me, knowing it could injure me badly. Things were starting to get physical the more I looked at it. Even the way Jason spoke to me today seemed as if he was just about to beat me up.
I sighed. If things went on the way they did, I was most likely to end up in the clinic anytime soon.
Amelia Forbes The next day, I arrived at school a lot earlier than I normally did, my new tactic at avoiding Jason, who was a chronic late comer. As soon as I got to school, I geared right into the homeroom, making sure to keep my head down, so Kimberly didn't spot me, signed my name and took my seat at the far end beside the window. I was the only one present in the room-pretty much everyone had lives more exciting than I did-giving me the comfort to do whatever I wanted. Like eating the sandwich Nana had made me this morning just before I left for school. Leaning back into my seat, I took a bite of the sandwich, my attention on the content of the phone in my hand. A text message from Benson popped up at the top as I scrolled through it. At once, I tapped the message.I'm on my way to school, and I'm not picking Katie up today, for once, phew. Want me to pick you up? It read.Tapping the keys on my keyboard, I replied, I'm already at school :).What
Jason DavenportPractice time. The only period I ever looked forward to at school, other than picking on Amelia, that is.Classes were over now and the team was in the field doing basic warm ups before the main practice began. Amelia, as I'd told her to, was seated on the bleachers, watching blankly, my stuff beside her. Just to make sure she was actually watching and not doing something else, like pressing her darned phone, I kept one eye on the field and the other on her. It wasn't as hard as it sounded. Shortly after the warm up, the main practice kicked off at the sound of Coach Hens's whistle. Okay, yes, I looked forward to practice, pretty much everyday at school, but on some days, some occasions, like today, when it was devilishly hot, I might as well pass it up.We played for over thirty minutes before Coach Hens decided to give us a break, which I was very much thankful for. At the sound of the whistle, I doubled over, hands on my knees, pan
Amelia ForbesEvery day that I had to see Jason got me more and more upset than I could take. Pushed me further toward the wall. I didn't know if I could wait for the remainder of the hundred and ninety days before I saw him no more. I wasn't sure if I could contain myself any longer. Eventually, sooner or later, I was going to snap and probably do something, most likely, not beneficial to me. But after the incident in his car last week, I think I wouldn't mind.Yes, I feared Jason, but there was a limit to everything. Even to my fear. After what he'd done on Thursday last week, after he'd spoken and acted with so much hate and scorn, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to his bullying. If maybe, all along, it wasn't really bullying out of boredom or habit, but bullying borne out of pure hatred. And I couldn't help but fear for my life. My safety. So, I decided to steer clear of him, by all means. And even if I had to interact with him, it'd be one
Amelia Forbes I was soon to attend my first ever high school party, only for the sole reason of Jason inviting me himself. Handing me a flyer yesterday. And for him apologizing too, I guess. It was Friday night, the time set for the party, and I was starting to regret taking Jason's flyer. Agreeing to attend his party. I was getting cold feet, and I had my reasons. For one, although I'd accepted Jason's apology and had forgiven him, even when I didn't want to, even when I knew an apology couldn't just erase everything he'd done to me, I still had this gut feeling that it wasn't genuine, his repentance. For some reason, I still felt it was all an act. Now, I wasn't one to act on my gut feelings, trust them, because, sometimes, they'd let me down, so, as much as I didn't want to, I ignored them.Secondly, I was getting cold feet because I wasn't used to parties, and I had absolutely no idea what to wear. I had a lot of dresses. So many. Short, long, extra short,
Amelia Forbes It was official. Parties just weren't my thing. Jason's party was fun, actually, for people who liked parties, that is, but personally, I couldn't see the fun in loud noises, people screaming on top of their voices in the name of talking, dirty dancing, drinking too much alcohol and puking thereafter. It just wasn't my idea of fun.So, I was already preparing to leave without telling Jason. All I had as my biggest hurdle was sneaking out, which wasn't so much of a hurdle-seeing the huge crowd present at his party, it was easy to blend in or get lost. Finding my way home wasn't going to be much of a problem either-I was good with directions, sorta, and when I was in Jason's car, I'd done well to note the way around. I was currently engaged in an uninteresting conversation with a flame haired guy whom I wasn't sure of his name but was certain he was a senior too. He was hitting on me, and failing miserably at it, judging by his poor choice of
Amelia Forbes I woke up, with a start, to the light filtering into my room through the half open curtain, a throbbing head and a parched throat. Squinting against the mild glare of the sun, I propped myself up on the bed and pushed my hair out of my face, my sore eyes taking in the contents of the room."What happened?" I murmured to myself, little bits of the party from last night coming back to me. "How did I get back?"I tried to recall how I returned home but nothing came to mind. The last I remembered was drinking to the dare they'd given me, which I declined doing.Figuring I must've gotten really drunk and Jason brought me back to my house, I sighed and swung my legs down from the bed. I needed an aspirin. Two aspirin. Fast. But first, some water, and then checking in on grandma. Knowing her, she would be up by now.Speaking of the time, what was the time actually? I twisted my body to look at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand at the other side
Amelia Forbes It started during the first period after lunch, in math class. The weird looks and knowing stares. At first, I shrugged it off, ignoring them and taking my regular seat, just beside the window that overlooked the football field. But as the classes rolled by, the stares kept getting worse and worse and I even heard someone make an odd remark, one I couldn't quite grasp. The blonde had said from behind me, just before our Physics teacher came in, "And here I was thinking she was different."I didn't understand. Was she talking about me? Figuring it was probably just a conversation between her and her friend, I shrugged and focused on the lesson at hand, the only thought on my mind being how to face Jason. And beg him, if I had to, not to tell anyone about what had happened with us. He hadn't been at the cafeteria today-pretty much the only period I had with him today being Monday-which I found odd and weird. And upsetting too. Jason had never misse
Jason Davenport I was upset. Scratch that. I was beyond upset. I was furious. Murderous. If I got my hands on Amelia, only two things could happen: I beat the shit out of her, or I punish her so bad she wished I beat her up instead. She thought she'd won this one, didn't she? In her mind, we were even, right?I scoffed. Till tomorrow. The bitch better not show up at school tomorrow, because by the time I'm done with her, she'll be begging to write my apology letter herself. Which she will, by the way. I wasn't going to pick any goddamn pen and say I was writing an apology letter for her. That apology letter was going to be written by she herself. Who did she think was, punching me that way? Humiliating me in front of Coach Hens. And to think Coach took her side. And Adrian actually shoved me, for her. "By the time I'm done with you, Amelia," I said through clenched teeth, my hand gripping the elastic ball in it harder. So hard the veins in my arm bulged.
Amelia ForbesThe day had gone by so fast and it was already about time for our dinner date. Dani came over to help me get dressed. She and Adrian were open about their relationship status now and they looked so good together I thought I would cry.She did my makeup too. I didn't look perfect because I still had a little bit of my tummy showing after the delivery, but Jason didn't care. Dani enveloped me in a tight hug as she saw me off to the limo."You look amazing, Ammie," She whispered. "Off you go. Be a good girl now."I whipped around, eyes widening in embarrassment. But she only winked at me and stalked off.God, I loved to hate her.I didn't know where we were going, and no matter how many times I'd asked, Jason wouldn't tell.Finally we arrived. He had set something up at one of the spots on the hill. There were lights and food, and even someone to play the violin.Again, how would he know I loved the violin?Benson.After about an hour of
Amelia ForbesIt had been a while since I'd had the baby now. Two months precisely.I had so many dreams I had wanted to realize after high school, so much I wanted to do. But all that was gone now. At least for a while. In the beginning it had saddened me deeply. But now, all I wanted was to make sure my baby got everything she deserved, and then some more.Being a mother changes a lot. Everything, in fact. And I really love my baby, but in she's always crying, and it's even worse at night now. We finally went to the doctor a week ago and realized it was colic. Thank God.I said a silent prayer. If I'm being honest, I don't think I could've handled it alone. Especially with Nana gone. The thought of her brought tears to my eyes. She had passed away peacefully at the elderly home. And I missed her a lot. Every day I would imagine all the beautiful words she would've used if she could talk.I thought of those times when she really was the only thing that kept me go
Amelia Forbes I deliberately sipped my hot cocoa slowly, as I watched Dani say hi to Adrian briefly and walk into the kitchen toward me. She pulled up a chair and lowered herself onto it, watching me with hawk eyes."What's going on?" Her tone was crisp."What do you mean?" I cocked an eyebrow.She rolled her eyes. "So pretty boy gets into an accident and all of a sudden you move in with him?"The anger that flashed within me knew no bounds as I raised her eyes to meet hers. "It was an attempted suicide," I said quietly.Her hand froze halfway to her lips. "What?" She managed to croak. "I...I had no idea that-""No you didn't," I snapped. She hung her head but didn't say anything more."And if Nana was still home, I probably wouldn't be living here now. So please don't play that card.""I'm sorry," She managed.I shrugged, eyeing her curiously. "And what about you?" I asked innocently. "Is there anything you wanna tell me?"She threw
Jason DavenportIt'd been five days since I was discharged from the hospital. My head still hurt, but I'd never felt better. Dad had convinced me to come back home and I'd agreed, on the condition that I'd keep working until I could afford to pay for college. And it'd been going great. My friendship with Adrian was still a bit shaky but we were working things out. We'd resumed our weekly hangout at my house to play either basketball or video games and it felt nice. Sometimes Amelia popped in to check on me but she never stayed for too long."Hey?" I shook Adrian as we both sat on my bed. He quickly tried to put his phone away and I eyed him suspiciously. "Who are you texting?" I asked. He blushed. "Um, no one?"I patted his back. "Tell me everything, my friend."An hour later, Adrian had narrated the love story that had sprung between himself and Dani Daniels and I stared at him in shock."Dani?!" I stage whispered, putting a hand to my mouth. "Holy sh
Jason DavenportI still wasn't sure what miracle had occured while I was unconscious.At first when I woke up, my first feeling was that of disappointment. I was disappointed that I had survived. Once again I'd proved that I'd always be a failure.But when Amelia had barged into my ward, a crying mess, and enveloped me in a hug, I thought I was dreaming. I still couldn't wrap it around my head but I was glad for it. Whatever had happened, I prayed that it would stay that way. As I relaxed my pounding head onto the pillow, my door swung open and I swallowed as I saw Adrian walk in.He stumbled awkwardly and took a seat beside me on the bed. "Hey.""Hey."For a while we sat there, not uttering a word to each other. "Why'd you do it?" Adrian finally whispered.I didn't need to ask to know what he was talking about. I took my time to gather myself. "I guess... I guess I was just tired of being such a failure..." I trailed off.Saying it brough
Amelia ForbesI sat fidgeting in the waiting room. It'd been three hours since we arrived at the hospital and everyone was seated, quietly. The truck driver had given a clear description of what had transpired. No one said a word.Tears flowed down my cheeks. He has attempted suicide.The thought broke me down more than I thought it could. I felt sad, guilty. I blamed myself for pushing him out in the rain and saying such hard words to him.I guessed those few weeks had put him into some deep state of depression. He was in such a state that he had seen suicide as the only option. It was then that I realized that he'd been honest the whole time.He'd been sincere. All the effort he'd been putting. I stifled a sob.What if something happened to him?My heart pounded in my chest. What would I do? I couldn't take care of a child alone. I couldn't...And he was so good with her. He'd be such a good dad. I couldn't... I couldn't lose him.I burie
Jason DavenportAs Amelia pushed me out into the blasting rain, I realized something. I was exhausted.I was tired.I was tired of the crying, tired of the begging. I knew I deserved everything that was happening right now and then some more, but I was tired. This was what I'd also be. The rapist. The criminal. No matter how hard I tried. No one would ever see the good in me.And it was all my fault. I showed the good in me too late. Way too late. So late that everyone would stand waiting for me to draw the curtains and prove to them that it was all an act. I'd always be the asshole. The monster. The beast.I looked up at the sky and sobbed. "Are you disappointed in me too, mom? This is what your boy turned out to be. A useless piece of shit."I slumped to the floor, my chest feeling like it was about to explode. "I'm a criminal, mom. I lost every-every thing. My friends, my family, my dignity. This is what I've become.""Nobody wants me m-mo
Amelia Forbes"I got in."Dani walked into my room beaming, a white envelope in hand.And although I knew what she held-a college acceptance letter, I asked, "Into what?"She rolled her eyes at me and laughed. "Bloustone College?" "Oh," I finally managed to mutter after a while. Dani stared at me in disbelief. "Really? That's all you're gonna say? I've been working my ass off for this and that's all you're gonna say?" She was right. I did sound kind of selfish."I'm sorry, Dani. I didn't mean it like that," I pleaded. "Of course I'm happy for you. It just.. it took me by surprise, that's all. You know how hard I've been rooting for you."She gave me a small smile and wrapped her arms on my shoulder. "It's okay, Ammie. I'll miss you too."My throat tightened. I was going to miss her. Even more than she thought. She was one of my best friends. She'd been there for me when no one else had. She'd practically forced her way into my life.I giggled
Amelia ForbesI woke up to the soft cry of my baby girl. We'd moved her from Nana's room to the room that used to belong to my parents.Careful not to wake anyone up, I tiptoed to the room and received a startle when I saw Jason cradling her in his arms.My first thought was to go in and snatch her away from him. If he hurt her, I swear. But I waited. And I watched.I watched her stop crying as soon as he picked her up. I watched him coo her, kiss her cheek and began to hum a tune. Was he singing? I wondered, my mouth agape.What had happened to the Jason Davenport from high school? And who was this softie? Was this all an act? To gain my forgiveness?But he knew everyone was asleep. So why would he act when there wasn't an audience. I don't know how long I stood there for. But i watched them, a wide smile permanently plastered on my face. He knew just how to hold her. How to rock her back and forth so she would fall asleep.How?What changed?