First time

    Juss’s POV

    

    

           He mirrored my smile with the same intensity, almost as if he knew I was uncomfortable and was enjoying that. I pushed that thought to the furthest part of my head as I picked up my bag and began to walk away with him following directly behind.

    

    A memory of him doing this exact same thing when he was younger came to my head and my face burned in embarrassment. My God, I watched him grow. How could I have—?

    

    "You were gone for quite a while, Professor," He spoke quietly, his voice startling me from my thoughts. I had no idea when he had appeared beside me but some seconds later, I remembered it was how he'd always been. Quiet. Like a soft summer wind blowing past your skin and caressing you softly. "And you never replied to any of my letters."

    

    My body burned slightly as I remembered that. He had sent many letters on... On his undying love for me. Of course, I never replied to any of them. He was a child and he had no idea what love meant or how to comprehend the emotion but I couldn't just break his heart so I did what I thought was best. I never replied. "I was... Preoccupied with school. You know how it is when you're trying to make ends meet on your own in a foreign country without help whatsoever. It'll take a lot of your time."

    

    He stayed quiet for a while and I wondered briefly if I had hurt his feelings so badly he had never forgiven me for it. Was he still upset? Was that the reason why he approached me at the bar and had sex with me like some sort of payback?

    

    No, no. That was stupid. He couldn't have held a grudge that long, could he? And he wouldn't... Well, he wouldn't have done that just to make me feel the way I did currently, would he?

    

    A slight buzzing sound filled the air as we reached my office. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at who was calling before turning to me, saying with a small smile on his face. "Could you excuse me for a while? I'll join you soon enough."

    

    I found myself swallowing as my stomach began to turn. Was he talking to his mom? Telling her what had happened? Fuck, I should have told Marlani first, shouldn't I? What sort of friend was I to come to the same country she was in and shagging her son some hours into my arrival?

    

    "Sure," I said, trying to keep the smile on my face from falling apart as I walked into my office. There was nothing around it yet, nothing to show I'd moved in yet but that didn't matter as I set my bag on my working table and sat on the chair, willing myself to be calm.

    

    Marlani and I had been through everything together. She would forgive me, wouldn't she? No matter what happens? Fuck. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like this at all.

    

    "Professor?"

    

    My head flew up as I stared at Eggust. He was in my office now, his hands in his pant’s pockets as he asked in a voice that didn't seem like a question but more of a statement, "Could we go out for a drink to celebrate your coming back?"

    

    I should say no. I should call Marlani right now and beg for forgiveness. I should start thinking of a new country to move to where I can work without tarnishing my reputation. But my mouth... My mouth moved before my brain could send it a signal to stay shut and said, "Of course."

    

    

    •••••

    

    I didn’t feel like myself anymore. Like someone was driving me while I watched from the backseat because I was not the sort of person to willingly lose myself in alcohol when I knew I was not particularly good at handling it, but ever since I stepped into England, my entire body felt like I was being strung around like a puppet.

    

    And he was pulling me to do exactly what he wanted.

    

    He was so close that he was all I could see. I didn’t know how we were back in his house when I had been in such a hurry to leave earlier today and while we laughed, I could feel one of his hands on my thigh, the thickness almost wrapping itself around it. We were sitting at his bar with the lights so dimly low it was hard to make out anything else, but his eyes were bright enough to burn into me as he got even closer, whispering under his breath, "Seeing you in real life is so much better than everything else."

    

    I wanted to push him away. I couldn’t do this again. Not when the guilt was eating me up from inside but when my hand landed on his chest, feeling the rock hardness of them, it was as if they were magnetized to the spot. My mouth opened slightly as his hand rested on mine, small pants came out as he held mine out and placed two small kisses on it, trailing up my arm.

    

    I let out a breath when his lips found its way to my shoulder, while his hand on my thigh found its way underneath my skirt, going higher. I could feel him breathing on my neck and it felt like the entire world had paused and all I could focus on was every word that left his lips. His scent was making my brain fuzzier as he whispered into my ear, "Tell me to stop right now. You have... You have no idea how long I've wanted this. Please. If you would leave again like you did today, send me away."

    

    Once again, I knew the right things to do. The fact that he was even able to show more restraint than I made me feel stupid but my brain wasn’t working properly anymore. Not when the alcohol was making me feel warm and the way he was so close to me had me boiling. I wanted him to touch me, and cool down whatever it was inside me before I erupted.

    

    Reason poked itself through my thoughts, telling me I should use this opportunity to leave but another voice told me that I deserved this. After everything I had been through, I needed to relax. To stop trying to control every bit of my life and for the first time, enjoy myself.

    

    "No," My mouth was moving before my brain again. I wanted this. I needed this. I knew I'd regret this the moment the alcohol was out of my system but I couldn’t now. "D-Don't stop."

    

    In one second, I was sitting on the bar top, my skirt now riding so high up my thigh that my panties peeked out, though I didn't get to look at them as Eggust stayed in between my legs, his hand holding up to my face so I could look at him. My sight was hazy but it was hard to miss the way he was staring at me like I was the only thing that existed. The desire in his eyes was doing something to my body, and I swallowed because I was not even undressed and he was looking at me like I was a goddess.

    

    "Say it again," His words were breathy, and shivers ran up my spine. I tried to look away but he was holding my face even tighter, making sure I could not look away as he demanded, "Say it, Professor. Tell me you want me to fuck you right now."

    

    I didn’t know what emotion it was that was burning through my veins but it made me want to beg, to let him see that I needed this. That I needed him. In all my years of living, I'd never wanted anything as I wanted this and I told myself it was the alcohol. Of course, it had to be.

    

     I began to plead, "Please. Fuck me."

    

    He kissed me as soon as those words left my lips and too many things began in my body. Fireworks exploded in my head as he ate my mouth like he'd been starved of it for too long, his hands moved all over my body as he took off my shirt and pulled my panties down. It happened too fast for me to tell him to stop because I was conscious of my body at my age. his lips moved to my neck, my body bristling with electricity as he bit into it. Hard.

    

    "Fuck." My hand wrapped around his body as I pulled him closer, my legs instinctively doing the same with his waist as he bit everywhere else, my toes curling with how he does so in a hurry, like he couldn’t wait anymore and I was drowning in a pool of pleasure, my head even turning more blank as he went further, kissing the space in between my breast.

    

    Like he was trying to mark every part of my body.

    

    When he came back to my lips, he was softer while his hands pulled me closer. My nipples pressed on his chest and my core burned even more from how strong it felt, a shudder escaping my lips as he bit into my lips hard enough that I could taste my blood from it but before I could reprimand him, his tongue was licking it away.

    

    This should be disgusting. I should be the reasonable one but I was frozen as he did so, before kissing me softly on my lips and saying, "Even your blood tastes like heaven. What are you doing to me, Juss?"

    

    He said my name like a prayer and I felt the need to grant whatever he needed. my head was static again when I felt him push himself inside me. It was sudden and my body tensed. I wondered how I hadn't been ripped apart before as my walls tried to push him out, but before I passed out from how much he was filling me up, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, softly saying, "You can take it, Professor. It is yours to begin with anyway. Just be a good girl and stop fighting it.”

    

    He came out and pushed himself back in, my soul almost floating out of my body. The second time, I was easing myself and he went even deeper than anyone ever had been, hitting a spot that I didn't know existed. His hands reach out to mine and held me before I toppled over while his lips went to my neck as he growled, "Fuck. This feels better than anything I could have hoped for," He was kissing me all over my neck again, licking me like he was trying his hardest not to dig himself into me as he said, "I knew our first time would be perfect. I'm glad I held back until now."

    

    And those words... Those words almost snapped me out of the trance he'd put me in but before I could think too much on it, he was fastening his pace and my head went blank again. My body didn’t know what to do with all the sensations of pleasure hitting it all at once and for the first time, I was exploding in an orgasm so bright that I saw white for a few seconds and the second it all cleared, fear and revulsion filled into every pore in my body.

    

    What have I done?