Chapter Four : Circumcision

Chapter Seven: Circumcision.

* Happy new month, readers! I hope and pray that this new month brings you lots of joy and happiness! , Happy new month my Dearests! *

Days went by and now it was the day for my circumcision.

I was very nervous and sad.

I don't want to be circumcised, I don't want to be violated.

I don't want to alter God's creation.

He created me perfectly so why should people go to lengths just to alter his creation?

Why?

He created the Clitoris in women because he knew that it was needed and necessary so why should I be removed?

It wasn't stated in the Holy Bible that women should be circumcised so why?

Why should we have to go through pain and torture just because of some useless culture and tradition?

Why?

Women are humans too? , We don't have to be treated as things.

Don't they care about our feelings at all?

Thinking of all this early in the morning on the 25th of March, which happens to be my birthday, I suddenly felt suffocated.

I found it difficult to breathe, warm tears Streamed down my face uncontrollably, I suddenly started feeling a dull pain in my chest.

I was tired.

Tired of all of this!

This is my life and body we are talking about but not only do I not have a right to chose  I also have to do what others think is best for me.

Can't I be happy for once even it's just for a day?

Why can't things go my way for once?

Is this fated?

Is this how my life is meant to be?

Is this my destiny?

Today is my birthday, I turned Eighteen today, I am no more a teenager but now a young woman.

I am supposed to be happy but how can I be when my life is getting ruined?

How can I smile when I am drowning in the ocean of life.

  I wish I had a choice.

I wish I could do something.

I wish there was a way out of all of this but is there a way out?

I heard about a girl who committed suicide on the day of her circumcision, She didn't want to get circumcised so she chose to kill herself instead of being violated.

As Committing Suicide was a great crime in my village, the girl's entire family was arrested and locked up in the dungeon while the girl's corpse was thrown into the forbidden Forest.

The girl made a choice.

She chose death instead of being violated.

Is this bravery or stupidity?

I don't know.

Taking one's life should be an option.

Suicide shouldn't be an option, it's only a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I once heard a saying that, People who know who they are and what their purpose for being in existence is won't attempt suicide.

I couldn't help but agree more as it's true.

I'll never attempt suicide.

I love myself too much to do that.

Hurting myself will be the last thing I'll do.

I am ready to face this head-on.

Princess Gabriella was told to me.

<< There's nothing impossible, Malisa because even the word impossible when broken down becomes,  I'm Possible, so don't ever let anyone deceive you, because as long as you can think it then you can do it, You shouldn't let fear rule you because the Full meaning of Fear is, F = False, E = Evidence, A = Appearing, R = Real.

  You have to remember dearie that fear is only in the mind, if you are scared of climbing a tree because you believe that you will fall then you won't be able to climb it no matter how much people try to encourage or motivate you to do so because the fear of Falling from the tree will overcome your thinking ability so Malisa never let fear dictate your life and decisions. >>

She's completely right, I shouldn't let fear overcome my reasoning but what to do in this type of situation?

I can't just go ahead and confront my parents and start telling them this or that.

So what am I going to do then?

Am I going to stay here and just let nature take its course or what?

The answer is pretty obvious, right? But I won't give in, I must keep fighting.

Today is my Eighteenth year birthday, even though I am not going to be having a party, don't I deserve a birthday gift?

I do but who's going to give me that?

I could vividly remember how Princess Gabriella's eighteenth birthday was Celebrated.

It was so lavishly and grandly celebrated that it remained the talk of the Town for more than two months after the celebration.

I was opportune to attend the celebration though I didn't show my face to the guests as it's not allowed.

I was only allowed to attend because, Princess Gabriella insisted on it and as the doting father the king was, he accepted to let me in.

He never said ' No ' to his dearest daughter so why would he now say it on her birthday.

  The birthday party was well attended by  Rich Men and women from different parts of the Globe.

   I couldn't help but Envy Princess Gabriella, her life was so perfect.

I could still remember the image of her in her birthday gown.

It was a baby pink off-shouldered ball gown that was embedded with fine crystals and diamonds.

She looked like a Disney Princess in it.

Wait, are Disney Princesses a match for her in her gown?

Of course not as she looked like the Goddess of beauty and Elegance in her dress.

   She looked so breathtaking that even I got fascinated by her not to talk of those Rich heirs that attended the party.

I noticed that their eyes were glued to her throughout the party but Princess Gabriella didn't mind their burning gazes at all, it was like she was already used to it.

Of course, she is as that wasn't the first time she was attending a party like that.

I guess it's high time I quit thinking about the past, I have to live in the present and not dwell on the past, I shouldn't compare my life to Princess Gabriella's.

She once told me.

<< Don't ever compare your life to anyone's as you'll only get hurt, You are different from others, you are unique, God created us all differently for a reason so you should never compare yourself to others. >>

I know this but I can't help it.

I keep thinking of How Princess Gabriella's birthday party was Celebrated.

I turned Eighteen today and no one even cared, no one wished me a happy birthday or anything as all my family cares about is the fortune I'll bring to them after been married off.

' This very Cruel. ' I thought sadly.

Vigorous knocks from my Room door Interrupted my thoughts which were followed by my Mom's voice.

  " What is taking you so long, Malisa? " Her words came out rather harshly.

I immediately went towards the door and opened it.

I was already dressed in a  simple free white gown that passed my knees.

My mom came into the room and after looking me up and down.

She smiled Smugly as she said.

" Not bad, no wonder you succeeded in capturing the attention of Mr. Ronaldo. "

I simply ignored her words, I was well aware that she was mocking me, her eyes were saying something like.

<< Tsk, despite all your beauty and elegance you are going to get married to an old man like the rest, too bad you have no choice. >>

' is this woman my mother? ' I asked myself for the umpteenth time.

" Hey, Malisa are you ready? , You are going to be late. " Ria's voice came ringing in my ears interrupting me from my thoughts.

Soon, she made her appearance at the entrance of my room, she was dressed in a simple blue knee-length gown.

Though she was a little younger than me, she was more mature and sensible, I guess.

" I am ready, "  I replied her.

" Okay...., Hm, Mrs. Bree I need to take Malisa now or she'll be late. " Ria told my mom.

" Alright, Please take care of her. " My mom replied with fake concern.

Anyone who heard her now would think she cared a lot About me but I know that she doesn't.

Her eyes were saying a different thing.

<< Make sure to keep a close watch on her, Don't let her escape. >>

' As if I'll even dare to. ' I thought self mockingly.

~~~~

After going through several interrogative and warning sessions, Ria and I were finally allowed to leave the house and that's when I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Since my other  ' Friends ' weren't permitted to leave the house as they were already engaged, Ria was the only one who was available to accompany me to my circumcision.

" Are you nervous, Lisa? " She asked me.

" I am not. " I replied, I didn't know if I told the truth or not because even I didn't understand what I am feeling.

But one thing I can say is that I am far from being fine.

" Okay, that's good. " She beamed, I wonder what was making her feel excited, at this moment we were both on the road trekking to the House where the circumcision was to take place.

   As we walked, I could feel the stares people were giving me.

Since I was wearing white cloth, it was very obvious that I was going to be circumcised today as that's part of our tradition.

" Why are you happy all of a sudden? " I asked Ria minutes later, though I didn't want to speak I knew I had to if I wanted to distract myself from the gazes I am getting from the villagers at this moment.

" Isn't it obvious why I am? " Instead of replying to me with a straight answer, she asked me a question instead.

' How am I supposed to know, I am not a witch alright to know what's going on in your head. ' Though I wanted to say this to her I couldn't, now is not the time to joke.

" It isn't. " I replied her.

" Anyways, I am happy because you are going to be a full woman soon. " She said Clapping her two hands together as she grinned.

' What's up with her, it's not like I am getting married to a president or something so why is she so happy? '  i thought.

" Really?, Am I not a woman already? "

" I know that you are but it is believed that you only become a full Woman after you have been circumcised. " She replied.

" Is the process Painful? " Instead of responding to her, I asked another question instead, this question has been bugging me for a while now.

" I am not sure as I haven't gone through it but I guess it is though, Don't forget that it involves cutting off a part of your body so of course, it'll be Painful, If you by mistake cut your fingers while chopping onions, a little bit of blood will come out and you'll feel the pain talkless of when a part of your body is being cut away. "

" Oh... " I was suddenly frightened by her answer, though I was a little aware of this I never thought of it.

" And yes I heard that you'll lose a lot of blood during the process. " She said.

" Like Menstrual blood? " I asked.

" What Menstrual Blood? , Isn't that just about four teaspoons of blood for the whole 3-5days? , I am talking about several Punches of blood here, you might end up losing up to one liter of blood, or More so you have to be prepared. "

" Oh, but why do they need to do this? , Why do they need to cut off a part of our body just because of some tradition? " I inquired anxiously.

" Well, from what I heard, it is believed that the Clitoris is a part of the male organ, The penis so it shouldn't be present in females as it is not right for a female to have two organs, and also it is believed that the Clitoris stimulates Sexual appetite in women so it has to be removed. "

" Okay. "

" Right, right, we are almost there so you shouldn't ask any more questions, try to relax and prepare for what's coming. "

" Alright. " I replied simply.

I was having a hard time digesting what I just heard from her, though I was already aware of most of the things she told me I didn't consider it to be true but Hearing it from her made me realize that it's indeed true.

Minutes later, we arrived at the place.

It was a large compound with A mini hut house in the middle, the hut has a small door in front of it.

The small hut was where the circumcision was to take place.

When we entered inside the compound, I was Suprised to Realize that there were about Nineteen young girls of my age present there too.

" Oh, Wow! I didn't know that there are lots of celebrants today. " Ria announced.

" Hm,  I thought that I'll be the only one. " I replied.

" Of course not, why would you be the only one? , You can't possibly expect to be the only girl in our village that's turning Eighteen today. "

" I know. "

" Let's go and take a seat over there. " She said pointing to the Large mat which was spread on the Sandy soil, there the girls waiting to be circumcised were seated quietly.

" Okay. " I replied as we walked towards them.

" Hey, Hello girls. " Ria who was always cheerful greeted the other girls.

" Hi. " The girls replied simply, from their tone, it appears like they were nervous.

Who wouldn't be?

Especially after knowing that circumcision isn't safe, Some girls bleed to death from it while some suffer severe complications.

Therefore I could very well understand the fear of those girls.

Am I nervous too?

Yes I am

Why because I am aware that if I should get circumcised today, I would completely lose all hope though I'll try not to it will be hard after this.

Not only will I get Circumcised today but I'll also have to get married in a few days.

' Why is life always so cruel to me? ' I thought sadly.

I started reflecting on my life and then I realized that I had it hard throughout, the only good thing that ever happened to me Is meeting Princess Gabriella and that's all.

Though my fellow mates might claim that I am very lucky to be engaged to a Rich man.

But am I that lucky?

Not only am I getting married to an old geezer but I'll also be entering into a life and death situation after marriage.

" What are thinking so deeply about, Malisa. " Ria's concerned voice reached my ears thereby interrupting me from my thoughts.

" Nothing much. " I replied.

" Are you sure? " She inquired raising an eyebrow at me.

" I am. " Though Ria seems nice I can't dare share my thoughts with her, I am very well aware that she's only with me because she's bored and needs company and not because she cared or anything but maybe she cares, whatever it is I don't have the luxury to think of that right now.

" Okay... " She was about to continue her words but got Interrupted when a middle-aged woman in a white gown approached us.

She smiled at us before she started talking, She started by welcoming us and congratulating us on taking the first step to be a full woman as they call it, she then proceeded to tell us about the benefits of the circumcision, and so on, she completely excluded the Effects of the act on women.

She claimed that circumcision will enable us to be able to satisfy our Husband's sexual desire and won't let him think of anything else and so on.

Listening to her words, I scoffed inwardly, Benefits my foot?

  Soon, The circumcision session began, since we girls present were just Twenty we were given numbers according to the way we came since I was the last to arrive, I was given the number 20 which happened to be the last number.

Each girl came with her own New Razor blade which would be used for the circumcision, this is done to prevent infection and contamination.

As if the Circumcision itself doesn't have more effects than Infection.

I'll rather get infected with a disease than getting circumcised at least that way I wouldn't be losing any part of my body.

Soon, the girls began to enter one by one.

The circumcision was done with Thirty minutes or so.

As the girls kept going in and coming out, I felt my heart beating rapidly.

From fear, Pain, and Nervousness.

My fists were clenched very tightly, my eyes were red with unshed tears but I didn't want to get Emotional in front of the other girls.

I can't show my weakness now, I can't.

I tried my best to calm my heart but I couldn't, I suddenly felt like suffocating, it felt like the oxygen supply around me, Ceased.

Luckily Ria wasn't beside me or I don't know how I was going to answer her questions.

She escorted one of the already circumcised girls home as the latter found it difficult to walk.

    " Number 19, get ready. " They announced and I immediately felt my heart sink.

One more and I'll be called.

At that moment I almost lost all hope but then I recalled a verse from the Holy Bible which says.

<< And I'll call upon him in the day of trouble and he'll answer me. >>

' Lord, I have no one but you at this moment, please don't let me be put to shame, please fight for me, please don't let me be violated. ' I said inwardly closing my eyes as I felt a tear dropped from my eyes.

Soon, I felt a presence in front of me and my tears were wiped away by warm hands.

I looked up and was Suprised to find a beautiful young girl Smiling at me, I recognized her immediately, it was Mary the girl I met at the stream last Time.

" Don't cry, Sis. " She consoled.

" But... I can't help it. " I whispered.

" Oh, but you don't need to cry anymore as your case is settled. "

" Oh? , What do you mean? " I asked confusedly.

" Well, it's simple, you are not going to be circumcised. " She said softly.

" Why?" I was shocked by her answer.

" That's because someone else took your place. " She replied.

" What? Why would anyone take my place? " I asked.

" Why ask so many questions. " She replied pouting.

" But I need to know, alright? "

" You will but not now, you'll find out later. " Mary replied mysteriously.

" Let's take you home now. " Mary said as she Held out her hands towards me and I immediately took it and was able to stand up with her help.

I went home and as instructed by Little Mary, I pretended to be in pain to avoid being suspected by my parents.

As expected, my parents fell for my pretense, I didn't need to be a good Actress to be able to deceive them, or perhaps it's because they were very well aware that there was no way I could escape Being circumcised, my mother even gave m  tablet to Numb the pain.

After going into my room, I   lied on  my bed

I was still very confused about everything that happened.

' What Happened? ' I  thought confusedly.