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Fear of being a mother
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Perfect Lie Returning to my reality.
+ More than three weeks have passed, almost reaching a month, and I still haven't given myself the chance to be honest with Adal. I haven't told him that he will be a father, which I found out a month ago through calls and video. I admit that I am a damn coward, and I dragged Lucero into all of this by making her promise not to tell him or Alfonso. I am the only person who has the right to tell him, and it's not that I want to be a heartless bitch. On the contrary, I don't want her to get upset because things don't turn out the way she expects. Adal and Alfonso will be back in a couple of days, and that's not all. They're coming with their parents because they plan to extend their vacation. The situation has worsened, which means I will have to tell them the truth in front of their parents. Although it hurts to admit that I will feel their rejection, I have no choice but to confess. My symptoms say a lot, as does the size of my belly. Can I be a strong and brave woman? Yes, it's ju
Perfect Lie Surprise trip
+ADAL+ It's time to go back, Gisela has been acting strange, something I can explain; she doesn't have time for anything, always has an excuse, and I, like a fool, believe them I didn't bring her with me because I didn't want her to continue feeling lonely and trapped, but apparently, I did wrong because she must be imagining that I have abandoned her, that I am here doing my own thing, even planning how to end our marriage. I will give her a surprise; she has to know once and for all that my feelings are true, that there is nothing shady. My mother is in good health and emotionally stable now; she wants to accompany me, she wants to get out of her house because she can't stand being cooped up. I have no choice but to take her; I don't want her to die trying, or blame me for not taking her out, even if it's for a few days. Alfonso and I have taken care of the pending work because we need to spend more time in Prague. However, now with my desperation, I will hurry my trip, and in
Perfect Lie The idea of being a mother is beautiful
+GISELA+ Today, I woke up with the desire to go out, I put on my nicest clothes and ran to the car, heading towards an entirely unknown direction. She is the one in the driver's seat, while I am sitting next to her, watching as we pass by buildings and how we get farther away from home. I couldn't resist for long when I brought my hand to my belly, remembering that we are not alone, that a little ball inside of me may be listening to us. "Do you think we'll stay here?" My question made her start coughing. "It's not to make you nervous, I just want to know if you think Adal thinks it's good for us to stay here or if we should go back." Suddenly, many questions came to my mind. I like this city, but Berlin as well. Oh, it's possible that we may return because Lucero's life and work are there, and here is like my friend and at the same time because Adal has asked us to. Suddenly she answers that she would love to stay, but also to leave, as she is aware that vacations are not eternal
Perfect Lie It's not April Fool's Day
No, this must be a damn dream, a nightmare that is tormenting me to wake up. I wonder a thousand times what he's doing here, why didn't he give notice? But if it's all a dream, he can appear whenever he damn well pleases. I look down, and my eyes widen as I see the baby's things scattered on the floor. Leaving behind the question of whether it's real or a dream, I quickly crouch down to pick them up while thinking and thinking about what I'm going to say. No, you're a complete lunatic, it's obvious that it's not a dream, the real flesh-and-blood Adal is waiting for you to answer, to stop being for the first time the woman who evades him, who doesn't tell him the truth. "Um... It's just that we went for a walk and I think we forgot to bring our phones," and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is lie after lie. I stand up at the same time that I cross my fingers, hoping that Adal's presence is a mirage. "It's not a mirage," I whisper, answering myself. "Of course, I'm not a m
Perfect Lie Goodbye to pain
+ "I'm leaving, leaving Italy, Berlin, and Prague behind to live in Madrid, Spain. Lucero is giving me a hand, one that I don't want to disregard because I have a lot ahead of me. I've put aside those hours of crying and mourning. I am a woman who wants to work hard for the child I carry inside. Right now, I'm staying in a hotel while Lucero is in New York for a family reunion. She's left me here with the condition that I stay calm and not try to hide from her. She's promised me, even swearing on her life, that she'll always be with me. I don't want her to focus on me; she has a life to take care of. I don't want her to go out of her way for me; it wouldn't be fair. That's why I haven't stayed locked up inside today. No, I've gone out to look for work, no matter if it's as a domestic worker or even just making copies. Work is work. Even though I don't have my resume with me, I'll enter anywhere with a sign that says 'worker wanted.' I have the drive; the symptoms of pregnancy won't
Perfect Lie Sorrows
+ After waiting for half an hour, I waited for the girl Dolores to finish work and while I waited, I began to think how lucky I was to have someone with a good and kind heart help me find a job. I waited and waited almost two meters away from the store where she worked, not wanting to be a bother or stalker, so I waited until she finished her shift and called me. I gave her my number, and it was wonderful, yes, it filled me with joy because she was in front of me with that infectious smile. I went up to her and thanked her again. I didn't mind boring her, no, my intentions were to show gratitude. She told me not to thank her and that we should hurry since her friend was waiting for us. No small talk, just action. I followed her lead and as we arrived at the hotel, "Rui Plaza España", no, this wasn't what I was expecting, this wasn't just any hotel. It was a five-star hotel! My feet started to tremble, I thought the job was too much for me, I didn't think I could handle it. I swall
Perfect Lie The job is mine
+ I'm about to scream to the sky, I have a job all by the grace of God who never abandons me, and I have the job that I was so afraid of losing. I have already signed a six-month contract, and I was welcomed as one of the members of the hotel. It was quite a journey. Yesterday, Dolores accompanied me to the hotel room and while I was inviting her to have a cup of coffee, she was looking for a way to help me with the documents, such as letters of recommendation, health certificate, study certificate, work experience, resume, and a list of where I have worked. Dolores told me that it was crazy to think that I could get all of those documents overnight. However, not everything was so bad, as the only document that I couldn't get was the health certificate because no one would hire a pregnant woman. After leaving her coffee cup on the table, I told her that everything they were asking for was on my phone and that I just needed to print it out, although there was one thing I couldn't g
Perfect Lie I don't want to be a dad
+ADAL+ "I have locked myself in the office of my house, with no intentions of leaving. What I did is unforgivable, and the worst part is that I don't want to take back my decisions. I let Gisela go because I didn't want to take responsibility for the baby she's carrying. Things got out of hand, and I ran away like a scared dog. I'm a coward, and I don't need anyone to remind me of that because it's crystal clear. Right now, I'm trying to make alcohol do its job. I want to forget her, but the love I feel is immense. "Adal, what made you lock yourself up? Your mother is worried sick and hasn't stopped crying because you ruined your marriage by not taking responsibility for her pregnancy." The office door opens, revealing Alfonso. "Gisela has left Prague, and I don't know where she is. It's best if you leave her alone, since she doesn't want anything to do with you. Oh, she asked me to dissolve the contract along with the marriage." I put the bottle down and think about what he's say
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Perfect Lie Epilogue
+ Five months later... "My love, we will soon reach our destination and I want you to do something for me. I want you to put on this blindfold and not ask why," the car comes to a stop, my eyes open wide, and a crazy smile appears on my face. I was expecting something like this, but not so soon. I had no choice but to agree, so I grabbed the cloth and obediently covered my eyes like a little girl. Ha ha ha, suddenly it made me laugh. Why is my beloved not so mysterious or someone who can pretend? I can detect his nervousness from here and his desire to surprise me. "Okay, but I warn you that sometimes things don't go as planned." Aaaah, inside, I want to scream with joy. I am a happy woman who just wants to enjoy all the wonderful things her husband is giving her. After I put on the blindfold, Adal keeps driving. I'm nervous, lots of things are going through my head, and I don't know which one of them will come true. After a few minutes, Adal tells me that we have arrived at ou
Perfect Lie Our child is the most precious thing we have
+ This must be a headache! For the first time, I saw my son cry in pain. As I was leaving work, I received a call informing me that my son had been admitted to the hospital and was being attended to by a pediatrician. I demanded to know what was going on and if Gisela was aware. My mother, crying, responded, "She's asleep. We didn't want to worry her, especially after seeing that he couldn't walk." I didn't say a word about the issue when I asked for the address; I just knew I had to be with my son. Within minutes, I arrived at the clinic, my breathing rapid and my heart racing. Seeing my little one only made me more desperate, as my mother's statement about his fever was still true. My child was suffering, and they weren't doing anything about it. All we could do was wait. Eventually, I picked up my baby and left the place. They weren't attending to him as they should have been. My mother screamed after me as I left, but I couldn't take it anymore. I told her that my son wouldn't
Perfect Lie Say you love me
+ADAL+ I am disappointed. Last night was an unforgettable moment. We even promised to try again, but when I woke up, she wasn't by my side. She had left. I panicked and tried to contact her, but I couldn't find my phone anywhere. I remember locking myself in the shower for half an hour, thinking about what to do, or what was going through Gisela's mind. She had given me the opportunity I had been waiting for, and now my fear is that she will regret it. I decided to get out of the shower, get ready, and leave my room. I had to get out of those four walls before I went crazy. Part of me knew I had to find her and seize the opportunity I had been given. Just as I was about to leave the house, I ran into my mother. She told me that my phone had been taken by the person I was desperately trying to reach, and if I intended to find her, I should call my number or look for Lucero, the person who had been helping me without any commitment. My mother said, "run," and I flew. It wasn't long b
Perfect Lie The alcoholic girl
"No, I hope I didn't interrupt your sleep," my words are sincere, but his reaction is nothing - no emotion on his face, he's furious. Years may have passed, but I remember perfectly when his serious face means he's ready to kill, not to think. "I'll just have this little coffee, and then I'll leave, I have a few things to do at home." "I think we should talk first before you go," he says after sitting next to me. "Since it seems you're having trouble remembering, I want to tell you that I didn't like that you drank and let yourself get careless. Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't arrived on time?" I gulp, panic takes over me, I don't know what to say, and I have no arguments to refuse. Where were the girls? I'm sure he's lying, he just wants to scare me into submission. No, he's wrong if he thinks I'll reward him. "To be honest, I don't remember anything, and if we're going to talk about what happened yesterday, it's better if Lucero and Dolores are present. They kno
Perfect Lie I don't remember anything
+ "Wait for me, don't go alone," I hear Dolores shout behind me. She wants to dance with me, and I hope the waiter doesn't bring the margaritas right now. God, I need those margaritas! "Baby, don't leave me alone," and boom, Lucero joins us. This is good because now we're really enjoying the night. We're the three friends, not rivals that everyone expects. Never ever forget this moment. Lucero and Dolores are two important pieces for my heart and mind. "Please wait for me here, I'll be quick in the restroom, you know, so the others can get in," I leave them there. I want to dance with them, but my bladder is the most important thing right now. I walked down a narrow hallway and reached the restroom, which was so bright that a pulse of pain shot from my eyes to the back of my head. When I arrived at the stall, I fixed my hair and shouted to the sky because it's empty and all the stalls are available for me. Ha, how funny, I just need one. After a couple of minutes of relieving my
Perfect Lie Girls' night out!
"Hey, you're not supposed to drink it like that," shouted Lucero, trying to snatch the margarita glass from me. As she made the attempt, I tilted the glass further, taking advantage of its chilliness. "You have no remedy, dude. Please bring three margaritas. She needs more than two. Oops, sorry. She's already on her second one, and it's all because she wants to act tough and drink vodka when she can't handle it." "Lucero!" I complained, finishing the last drop of margarita, and placing the glass aside to pick up the next one. "You're right. I'm not a drinker, and if you know me well, you know my throat is burning." And I went for the second margarita, I'm sorry for Dolores, but my throat is on fire. No! This can't be happening. My tongue is... "You're already lost, woman. Nobody understands what you were talking about." That's it. I'm already feeling dizzy, but it's all because I took the two margarita glasses from Lucero. I thought things would be different this time, that becaus
Perfect Lie extreme madness
+ The night bears witness to our madness, and it wasn't long before Lucero showed up. The three of us decided to leave the house together, of course, only if the babysitter stays with my baby. And since Lucero is one of those who swears that everything will be fine, Dolores and I came to accompany her to the first bar we found, not those shady ones as Lucero would say. She has that touch of superiority, which is normal, that's how she was raised. For me, it's the third time I've been to this kind of place, and I think it will be the first time I take any drink with alcohol. At this moment, each of us will share our story; what troubles and saddens us. We've come here to drown our sorrows. The music in the bar is completely soft, not the kind where you have to shout to be heard. The club has low lighting, deafening and full of contorted bodies: on the dance floor, in the hallways, against the bar. A DJ mixed music on a small stage, and posters plastered all over the front promised t
Perfect Lie I need an opportunity
+ In the end, Adal got his way. The spoiled son of his father took us home because he said I was nervous and not in condition to drive. At first, I objected, but Dolores jumped on board to become friends with Adal. After Adal realized there was nothing he could do, he blackmailed me with the words, "Our son is waiting for you at home." He was being sly, as he brought my baby into our fight. I don't want him involved in my life anymore. I don't need him. Now that I'm home, I bite my tongue with the intention of staying quiet. I watch as my son plays with that man, because Gerald ate all the dinner the nanny prepared. Dolores approaches me and tells me I need to change my attitude. Whatever that man did in the past, it's better to leave it behind because time keeps moving forward, it doesn't stop or go back. Now she's becoming Adal's savior and defender. No, that man doesn't need anyone to intervene, he can defend himself just fine. "Mrs. Gisela, the child needs to shower, but..."
Perfect Lie She was the only one who was with me
"No, I need them to leave," I replied angrily, "understand for once that I need to be alone." "Damn..." he muttered, and I felt like opening the door, "I don't know what happened to make you shut yourself in, but let me tell you one thing, woman, if you don't come out now, we're not leaving and neither are the employees because it's not fair for you to stay and for them to go to sleep." That man is insane, I had no choice but to open the door. I stumbled and half said that both of them were insane. "Hey, what happened to you?" Dolores comes to me with open arms, "why didn't you call me?" I stopped, a lump formed in my throat, and I burst into tears as I felt her arms around me. Between sobs, I told her that I was to blame for other people making bad decisions. "No, that's not true. We are all responsible for our actions, and you didn't put a knife to that person's throat to make them mess up, like we do with butter on bread." I didn't do it with a knife, but in a way, I pushed h
