VOLUME SEVEN: LIFETIME RISKThe oversized black beast roars, charging directly at my body. I stumble and waste a precious second staring at the small butterfly caught between its teeth as the beast runs into my side headfirst, knocking me to the ground. The pavement eats away at my skin and I slide a short distance, but I don't notice the pain in my leg until one of the other forest animals yells."Oh my God, look at her leg!"More words are volleyed in the area surrounding where my body lays on the ground, but it's difficult making out what they say. A persistent wail fills the area, but not one like I expect. This isn't the ambulance coming to my rescue. No. It's worse. My head shakes back and forth, and with an unsteady hand, I reach out to silence the alarm on my phone. The ever present 7 a.m. warning it's time to start the day's madness.Madness is the only way to describe a morning when you're the mother to a two-year-old.The sound does more than wake me. It also wakes
He said not to worry, but I can't help my growing concern. The ends of my crutches catch on the carpet when I don't lift them up high enough, but I manage to make it to the kitchen without falling on my face.My eyes water with the haze billowing out of the small area. I twist the knob, turning the stove off, but a steady stream of smoke continues to rise from a blackened pan with what looks like burned and shriveled eggs. The smoke tenderloins reach up toward the ceiling as if calling for help from whatever torture he's put them through this morning. A stack of dishes rises over the edge of the sink and there're bits of scrambled egg squashed to the floor. I'm not sure who made breakfast—Nate or Emma.How did all this damage happen in the few minutes it took me to turtle walk from my bedroom to the living room? How long has he been here?The one lesson I learned since becoming a parent is that it's easier to stay in front of the mess than to come up behind it. If you're continuo
There's no blood, but Emma has finished her eggs. Most of them found their way to the surrounding areas. "What did you do to her hair?" A large chunk of her hair–by no means all of it–is wrapped around a ponytail on the top of her head. The strands fall limply to one side and pieces stick out in every direction."I tied it up," Nate answers, his face proud.That's going to be hell come bath time.I grab the sponge and with one crutch finagle my way to the dining room table."What are you doing?"The question catches me off guard. "Wiping down the table." Duh.Nate steals the sponge from me and waves it around the tabletop, spreading eggs over the surface. "You're supposed to be resting. I'll take care of this."Eggs fall to the floor and he steps in a clump, smooshing them into the carpet. Definitely not getting my security deposit back. After Barry cheated, I needed a fresh start away from everyone in my past life. I didn't just lose my husband to his affair. I also lost
I also don't like the fact that practically a stranger — the same one who hit me with a truck — is watching my child play with blocks on the floor. He was the one to chase after her the last time the toilet flushed when neither of us were using the room, and most recently he ran off to figure out why it was so quiet in the hallway before he could drop off the laptop. At least if I had my laptop I could work.I need the money, but I'm also concerned about my job. The Environmental Quality Office in Clearwater is understaffed at the moment, and the more work I get done from my couch the better. I don't have enough hours at my part-time job to qualify for FMLA, and my inability to make it to the office for the next two weeks — until I get better at getting myself around — means I'm back to living off my savings account.When I left Barry, I promised myself I'd never depend on someone else again, but that's what I am right now. At Barry's urging, I'd quit my job when I gave birth to Em
"The same way I have every day since she was born."Like having a sprained ankle makes me incapable of taking care of my child."It can't be easy and I'm sure the hospital gave you pain meds. I don't like you in this apartment alone with Emma while you're taking drugs." His words make me sound like I'm a drug addict getting hopped up in the bathroom.My skin heats as anger builds, and even though I shouldn't, I picture Nate's big black truck running him down as I watch from the sidelines. Oh no, Barry. Watch out....Not. I'd at least pretend to be upset.For Emma's sake."I'm fine, as you can see."Of course, just my luck, my balance takes a hit as I stand back up trying to let Barry see I'm fine taking care of myself. Thankfully I don't fall over on my ass and I'm able to regain my balance without my crutches. It requires me to take one small step back and I grimace through the pain."See?" Just from his smug face he thinks he's already won. "I'll take Emma off your hands
"Daycare? How can I let my girlfriend's child go to daycare when I'm capable of taking care of both of them? Plus, with Josie unable to work she'll be missing a paycheck, something I'm sure you, as a concerned father, care about and want to open up the checkbook and help with the extra expenses." Nate ends his short speech with a knowing smile and my heart blossoms for the man who a few hours ago I worried had a criminal record.Barry and I both stand looking at him with our mouths open. Me because I can't believe he called me his girlfriend. He's doing it for shock value because that's something he should ask for approval on in advance."Well, um, things haven't been great at the firm, but I can slip you extra grocery money. I can keep a record and make the courts take it out of future child support checks once you're back on your feet," Barry stumbles over himself getting all the words out.This time it's my turn to roll my eyes. I may hate the trait, but I picked it up from hi
"You don't want me here?" he asks, as if the sheer idea I would want to spend time without him hovering over me is unimaginable.I shake my head so he can see. "I want to be alone and go to bed."His face hardens and his lips pinch together in agitation. I don't get what he's upset about. I'm the one with an ex-husband trying to steal her daughter and an overflowing toilet. He gets to leave here tonight acting like he did a good thing helping me out today and enjoy his nice normal life leaving me and this mess as a distant memory."Fine," he says the word breathily. "Be that way, Josie. I'm here trying to help, but I'm done. You've made it known you don't want me around, so fine. Stay here by yourself."He stands from the couch, the back of his polo shirt coming untucked from his jeans, and without a second glance back he storms out of my apartment and life as fast as he barreled into it.I don't watch him leave, preferring to be alone with my sadness, but the heavy sound of
Yesterday, I saw what he considered under control, but I haven't eaten breakfast, let alone breakfast alone, in months.I wash down my morning pain pill with the glass of orange juice and eat the eggs in under five bites before I remind myself to calm down and chew slower. There are no devious little giggles coming from the living room and besides a steady clatter of pots and pans, nothing sounds as if it's breaking.It's a pleasant morning.A different scene than the one I went to bed with last night. After I let out two years of tears and relayed my entire life history and the ugly divorce while Nate cradled me on the couch, he put me to bed. Tucked me in and everything. Before he left, he said he'd see me in the morning, but I thought I'd scared him away for good. I was only 25 percent certain it wasn't all a dream.Once the eggs are finished, he hasn't come back to collect the tray. There's no way I can carry it while using my crutches, so I abandon the dirty dishes to the
ElliotFive years later"No, sweetie, we only get one puppy today." I squat getting on the same level as my daughter, Brandise.The round ball of fluff she squeezes onto with all her might so he doesn't run away licks her across the face and she giggles. "Daddy, they're twins just me and Bray. They have to stay together."My eyes flick back and forth between each dog. One held in the tight grip of Brandise and the other being sized up by my son. Their mother, Harley, a woman who took too long for me to figure she meant everything stands between the two of them with her lips pinched together not helping me in this situation. She's left me out in the cold on my own.The two puppy siblings look alike, but in my eyes every Yorkie looks the same. How can you tell them apart? The puppies my babies held both had a lighter colored face than Rocky, but other than that they were big puffballs of fur."Sweetie, Rocky only needs one brother," I try again hoping to talk sense into her.
Elliot's steps are slow but sure as I hold open the bakery door to let him get through the space. Once he's cleared the way, I stand beside him in case he needs me for support as he makes his way to the first table in the busy sitting section. You wouldn't expect a shoulder injury to cause issues walking, but with each movement his body makes, his shoulder sways with the force and his face grimaces.It's too soon for him to be up and moving, but I couldn't make him listen to reason.He finds his seat and plops in it heavily, the chair legs scraping on the tile. The people around us stop what they're doing and turn before a small round of applause starts from behind the bakery counter and then picks up including people from every space in the bakery. Elliot turns to the noise, catching everyone in their adoration, and scowls until the clapping fades."Cupcakes for everyone," Anessa says smiling from her spot at the counter. "Especially for our new hero."Elliot's scowl deepens.
Dominick releases a breath and sucks in another one as if preparing himself for this new life. "Are you positive? Because there are very eligible bachelors in my club. A brother could keep you safe."I don't argue with him that Elliot kept me safe. Well at least until he got shot, and no one can blame a man for that. He literally stuck his body in between me and a loaded weapon. How much more could he have done?Plus I could never live life in the club again. Now after experiencing life on my own. "Yeah, and then they'd cheat on me or go to prison."Dominick shakes his head. "My men aren't that way. They love hard and deep. I changed the club here, Harley. It's different from how we grew up in Colorado."There's honesty in his words, but it will never be enough to bring me back. "Elliot is mine."Dom shakes his head once, admitting defeat. "Fine. Onto topic two. I met your father," he says father accusatorily like I've been keeping something from him.Which, in a way, I hav
Without warning there's another harsh pop in the air like someone shooting off a firecracker, and then red blossoms in the middle of Pete's forehead. His body falls back hitting the ground once again. The thud is too far away to hear, but I swear my body feels the vibration.Holy fuck.My ears ring from the gunfire as men pool around us each of them yelling things back and forth. It's coordinated chaos. An ambulance with its lights flashing speeds over the highway."That man took three bullets to the chest," Huxley mutters to himself shaking his head. "I haven't seen anything that crazy since Thailand."... The steady beat of Elliot's hospital machines lulls me into a restless sleep as my head rests on Elliot's hand."Harley," a deep voice whispers in my ear, shaking my shoulder. "Har."In a start my head pops up and my eyes search Elliot's face, but his hand still rests underneath my head, a pool of my drool sticking between his fingers."Still drool, huh? I wouldn't
"Dominick won't pay anything for me," I lie.Pete laughs. "Don't want money. I'm looking to trade you for a free get-out-of-town card. If he won't offer me his protection, you'll be a going away gift to my men. They're upset with having to leave. I'm sure you understand.""What?" Fear causes me to choke out the word as a hundred images flash through my brain of what he could mean, but only one is sick and depraved enough for this man.He smirks. "They'll love you if the Impaler doesn't."I fall to my knees against the back of his seat. "No, please don't." I'd rather he shoot me now than do what his smile promises. He means I'm to be a sexual gift given to his men and passed between them. I'd never survive. Sure, Dom trained me in basic self-defense skills, but my mother sheltered me from club life so I only heard the evils of the world through others. Until now, I never once felt concern for my safety. Not the way I do now.The cargo van travels on the highway, passing a bill
"Stand up, Fucker."Elliot scoots away from me as I claw deftly on his leg trying to hold on and keep him close. He turns, not making any sudden movements and puts his body in front of mine to shield me once again from the nasties of life."Let's not do anything drastic, Pete." Elliot takes a step forward with his hand held out defensively.I twist seeing the old man wearing a pair of board shorts, a blue Hawaiian shirt with palm trees, and flip-flops on his feet standing in the middle of the beach. He resembles a tourist who belongs in Florida not a man running a drug ring in Pelican Bay. He sneers at me taking the tension from Elliot for just a moment and waving the gun in his direction as if either of us could forget it's there."She's the only one who can name me. Without her I can pick up shop and start somewhere fresh and there's nothing you can do about it. You guys don't have shit on me.""You're standing in the middle of a public beach during the day, Pete," Elliot t
He flinches as of my question has hurt him, but I'm the child who didn't have a father. "I got out early for good behavior and I looked up your mother. I learned what happened. Sorry about your loss," he says. The words are stagnant as if he knows what he's supposed to say but struggles with the meaning. Yet, something in the inflection makes me believe he means each one. His eyes turn soft, possibly remembering his time with my mother.My life has never been cupcakes and cookies, but the last month has been indescribable except for the word surreal. First, I had no father, then I picked up a club president for a stepdad, lost him, and now gained back the original. What is happening to my life?"What will happen now?"My father shakes his head and stares at me with a touch of a smile tweaking his lips. "I'm out of the club life. Plan to take the straight and narrow from here on out."I hold back the cringe at his promise. It's one I've heard from club brothers my entire life. E
Elliot shakes his head, his fingers curving around the handle of his gun. His face pinches together as if he has so much to say, but is staying silent for me.Until he doesn't anymore."Would someone mind telling me what the fuck is going on?"He's not the only one looking for answers. "Me too. Mom said you died in a motorcycle crash. Drove your bike over a mountain ledge one night." She hadn't said he'd been drinking, but I've filled in the blanks for myself as I aged.My father's teeth come together hard making a gnashing sound I hear even from my position. "Yeah well. She thought it would be better than the true story. Easier for both of you to move on rather than wait around on me living only a half-life.""Then what is the true story?" After my mom left Dominick's dad, it was the three of us together. I always believed we never hid any secrets from one another.My father shakes his head and stares at me but looks past me as if he's reliving the memories himself. "She s
My gaze and thoughts flip to the back door, but I'm too far away to reach it before he could shoot me.The man is younger than Pete and not the person I saw put a bullet in someone earlier this month, but he's old enough to be my father. His skin is leathered and wrinkled as if he's spent a lifetime in the sun. His jeans are loose and a leather jacket lacking any MC cut is wrapped around his body. Not a Bloodhound.I stand next to the kitchen island breathing heavily while trying to come up with an escape plan as the two of us stare at one another unmoving.He speaks first. "Now, Harley, is this any way to greet the old man who named you?"His words scatter in my brain, startling me into paying attention, all my plans of escape lost. "Excuse me? My father named me."It was one of the few stories I had of the man who shared such a brief relationship with my mother. "He wanted to pay homage to the best...""Damn motorcycle company the US has ever seen," he finishes my sentenc