"Ei," Aurora called me softly.
I turned my body towards her. Nagagalaw ko na ng maayos ang katawan ko maliban sa mga kamay ko. They would hurt like hell everytime I try to move them.
"Kumain ka na muna. Hindi ka pa nagbre-breakfast."
"Where is Nanay Gracia?" Tanong ko, binalewala ang sinabi niya.
I would grow anxious whenever Nanay Gracia's out of my sight. She sighed and put the away the plate full of food. Nakaupo ako sa kama at tulalang pinagmasdan ang mga punong-kahoy sa labas sa pamamagitan ng maliit na bintana.
"She went out to get a wheelchair. Gusto ka niyang ipasyal sa labas," ngiti niya.
I resumed looking at the view outside. Maganda nga ang panahon sa labas at mukhang masarap mamasyal.
It's been a month since I got confined. Sa mga panahong iyon, hindi ko man lang magawang lumabas at hayaan ang sariling masinagan ng araw. I roamed my eyes around the dull and colorless room. I smiled bitterly.
My hands a
Everything that happened felt like a distant dream. As I look back at those I can't help but feel the pain again. Ang akala kong buhay na kinalimutan ko na, muling nagbalik sa ala-ala ko. How I endured the pain of the first heartbreak, how I got through and surpassed death, and how I gave up my dream. Out of all what happened, ang huli ang pinakamasakit.Muli kong sinubukang gumuhit ng sketches pagkatapos ng aksidente. Pero tuwing ginagawa ko iyon, naninigas ang kamay ko at wala akong maiguhit. At muling magbabalik sa ala-ala ko ang bangungot ng aksidente. Kaya naman hindi ko na ulit sinubukan, sa takot na sundan na naman ng bangungot at sakit.My first few months abroad were not easy. Unti-unti lang naging madali nang madalas kong makasama si Denver. At tuluyan lang akong nakabangon nang sumunod si Aurora para roon din mag-aral. Her decision was abrupt.Alam ko kung gaano kahalaga sa kanya ang Baler at ang makasama ang pamilya. Kaya naman nakapagt
I froze from where I was while staring directly at him. Hindi ko na nga halos marinig ang mararahang saway ni Aling Selya sa asawa tungkol sa kung ano. Parang nag slow motion ang lahat at ni isa sa aming dalawa ay hindi gumagalaw.His eyes went down to my body. Natigil iyon sa braso ko kung saan mayroon pang benda. Tumagilid ako, hindi komportable sa mga titig niya. Hindi pa tuluyang mag sink in sa akin kung paanong siya ang nandito imbes na ang maid na ipinadala ni Papa."Miss Eirene, siya ang ipinadala ng Senyor para maging personal body guard niyo," si Mang Tony habang nakangiti akong tiningnan. "Ano ngang pangalan mo uli, hijo?" Baling niya kay Rylle.Personal bodyguard? I thought Papa is sending one of the maids? Paanong siya ang narito? Alam ba ni Papa ito? Paano'ng..."Rylle."His baritone sends shivers to my insides. Hindi ako nakapagsalita bilang protesta. Marami akong gustong itanong sa kanya. But not here. Not when Ma
I felt nervous with what he said. His words were marked with finality. Na kailanman hindi ako makakatakas mula sa kanya. It seems like he's cursing me. That wherever I go to escape, my end destination will always be him."You don't understand," iling ko."Then make me understand. It's so hard to guess what you're thinking everytime, Ei. Tell me what you really feel, baby. I will try to understand... except us being apart."My eyes watered as I watch him in pain. Parang tinutusok ang puso ko sa nakikita sa mga mata niya."I don't want you involved in my problems anymore. Dahil hindi natin alam kung ano'ng pwedeng mangyari sa susunod. You could be their next target kasi palagi tayong magkasama. Paano kung gawin nila iyon, huh? I won't be able to take it if other people get hurt because of me. Naiintindihan mo ba?"I said as I stood up, trying to prove a point. He went near me at hinawakan ang braso ko."So you're worried about me
Tahimik kaming dalawa nang nag-agahan. I could feel his glances at me habang ako naman ay hindi maiangat ang tingin sa kanya.I suddenly feel awkward after our conversation. And I am also bothered as to how I soften when it comes to him.For the past years I vowed to myself that I won't let him fool me again. Na kahit pa magkita kami ulit, hindi ko na hahayaan ang sarili kong mapalapit sa kanya.For me he's the biggest trap, the most dangerous cliff I have to avoid, and the lovely flame that would burn me intensely.I presented to wash the dishes after we ate. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nagpunta pagkatapos. Ngunit narinig ko ang pagbukas at pagsarado ng main door kaya baka lumabas at nagpahangin.His stay here still bothers me. Paano ang kompanyang pinatatakbo niya gayong nandito siya?I planned on strolling on the shore later. Kapag hindi na masyadong mainit ang sikat ng araw. Wala rin naman akong ibang pwedeng gawin dito sa
Warning: SPG"How did you get in here?" I fired angrily.By instinct, I held the lace of my robe. Sinundan niya ng tingin ang mga kamay kong nakahawak roon. I gulped when his stare darkened."I was calling you for dinner. And you did not lock your door so..." Aniya na agad ibinalik ang tingin sa mukha ko."Kahit na. You could've just wait outside. Or better yet, nauna ka nalang sanang kumain. I'm not hungry," I said as I walk towards the walk-in closet."Why are you acting like this?"I was about to open my closet when he asked. Natigil ako sa akmang pagbukas niyon.I don't know how to answer that. Bakit nga ba ako nagkakanganito? It all just started when I saw how the ladies in that market went crazy over him. As if I could stop them from admiring a handsome man like him.At ano'ng karapatan ko? Wala.Wala ako ni katiting na karapatan para magdemand ng buong atensyon niya. Kasi hindi naman kami.
The moment I gave myself to him, kasama ko na ring ibinibigay ang pagmamahal ko. Though I didn't really stopped loving him, I decided to love him freely. Iyong wala nang galit at hinanakit.I didn't know it would be this freeing. To let myself go and forgive the people who hurt me the most.I woke up that morning because of his little kisses on my face. I was still half asleep when I saw his face first thing in the morning."Good morning, baby."He whispered and claimed my lips for a passionate kiss. He held my stomach as his mouth graze it's way inside mine, sucking my tongue lightly. I moaned when his hand went up to my underboob."Rylle..."I moaned painfully as pleasure consumed me with the way he kissed my lips to my neck."I know you're still sore," he breathe against my ear and bit it lightly.I felt the undeniable pain down there when I tried to move. Marahan ko siyang itinulak at tinampal sa braso. He chu
My days went painfully slow. Mula nang malaman ko ang balita tungkol sa sindikatong sinasabi ni Papa ay hindi na ako matahimik. If a syndicate is indeed involved, then this is something really serious.Kung anuman ang dahilan ng mga taong nasa likod nito, hindi iyon simple lang. For them to get the syndicate involved in hurting me, this is something beyond simple and petty.I grew anxious as the days passed. I'm torn between wanting to go home to personally receive updates of the investigation o manatili nalang dito para sa sariling kaligtasan."I hate seeing you like this," marahang bulong ni Rylle habang nakayakap sa akin mula sa likuran.We had been sleeping in the same room mula nang magkaayos kami. Aniya'y nag-aalala rin siya sa akin kaya niya ako sinasamahan.I would constantly stare at the nothingness and get lost with my thoughts. Since my father broke that news to me, I have been restless and so out of it. His hug tightened.
I was in all confusion when I heard what my father said. Para akong nabingi at tila ba ibang lenggwahe ang kanyang sinabi na hindi ko iyon naintindihan. Rylle's hold tightened and I felt his anger and protective stance with the way he held me tighter. He cursed matapos sabihin ni Papa iyon."Is Rylle there, honey? Can I talk to him?"Walang lakas kong ibinigay ang cellphone kay Rylle. Pilit pa ring iniisip ang kanyang sinabi. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Hindi ako naniniwala.I've known Simon for being a notorious playboy but never this. At ano naman ang maaaring dahilan niya para gawin ang lahat ng iyon?I never knew him personally, at least back when I was still in the US. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan lang kami nagkita at nagkakilala. Bilang pa sa daliri ang mga pagkikitang iyon.As far as my memory can recall, I've never done anything bad to him. Was it because I rejected him? I don't think so. At ramdam ko rin naman na hindi
Rylle I always think everything in life is pre-destined. May magbago man dahil sa mga desisyong ginagawa natin, those would always lead to the things meant for us. In a twisted way. That's what I believe growing up. I learned to live with the expectations or people from me. My parents expected us to follow their steps and I've got no problem with that. Maybe because I like what they want us to do too o hindi ko lang talaga alam kung ano ang gusto kong gawin. But when I met Eirene, that belief changed gradually. She is so sure of herself, her decisions and her passion. I have never met anyone before as passionate as she is. I remember the first time I saw her, she was crying while hugging her sketchpad. It was around six in the evening and a friend invited me at his house to play videogames. Nasa dulo ng subdivision ang bahay nila at may madadaanan pang maliit na parke. I stopped when I heard soft sobs from the children's park. S
I didn't think he would actually stay with me even in New York. Alam ko naman na abala rin siya sa negosyong pinamamahalaan niya kaya maiintindihan ko kung hindi niya talaga ako masasamahan. "No I'm not. I'm coming with you no matter what." He would always say that everytime I tell him to just go home for work. Wala nalang din akong magawa dahil hindi siya matinag sa desisyon niya. Isa pa, gusto ko rin naman talaga siyang makasama. "You have no plans in working for LHR again?" He caressed my fingers as he pulled me to his chest. Bukas na ang launch ng aking brand at kahit nasasanay na, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang kabahan. It was a long day of preparing for it and my eyes are a bit heavy. Maaga pa naman pero inaantok na ako sa sobrang pagod. "No, not yet. Hindi ko rin alam. Isa pa, si Santi na ang namamahala noon ngayon. Speaking of, I think he's more capable of handling LHR than me. And I see no reason why my parents won't e
"Akala ko uuwi ka rin?"He lifted his gaze on me. Mula sa laptop ay lumipat ang nanunuri niyang tingin sa akin.I continued checking the designs for the upcoming launch next week. Ang aking mga staff naman ay namamasyal sa iba't ibang tourist spots. Sinusulit ang natitirang mga araw ng pananatili namin dito bago tumulak pa-New York.Ayoko naman ipagkait sa kanila iyon. They worked hard for this fashion week. Alam ko rin ang stress at pressure na pinagdaanan nila, maging successful lang ang event. They should relax atleast bago naman sumabak sa trabaho."Hindi ba kayo sasama, miss? Plano sana naming kumain sa labas kasama kayo," si Len.I can also hear the other staffs' voices in her background, hinihikayat din akong sumama.I would love to come. Kaya lang nangako ako kay Denver na dadalo sa exhibit niya. I still have to prepare for that.Isa pa nandito rin si Rylle na akala ko'y uuwi rin ng Pilipinas pero nagkamali ako.
Warning: SPGI moaned against his lips as I try to cope up with his pace. He pushed me against the wall as his body brushed mine."Rylle... I thought we're going to talk?"Napasinghap ako nang bumaba ang mga halik niya sa leeg ko. He sucked on my skin roughly. I swear it's going to leave a mark there. Ang mga kamay niya'y marahang naglakbay sa katawan ko.He stopped. I almost groaned in protest. Hindi ko na mapirmi ang tingin. Lalo lang akong nalasing sa ginagawa niya.He stared at me intently. Passion and desire reflected his eyes sa kabila ng galit.Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa nakita. I pushed him away. Bakit ko nga ba nakalimutan? We were supposed to talk of why he's angry.Kaunting hawak at halik niya lang nawawala na ako sa katinuan. But not right now. I fought the urge of desire and anticipation of his touch. Kailangan naming mag-usap. Iyon ang nasa isip ko."Yes we will," he went near
Natatawa niyang sinalubong ang yakap ko. I was too shocked and overwhelmed to see him here. I never expected him to be here. Huli naming pagkikita ay noong bago ako umuwi ng Pilipinas para magtrabaho sa LHR. Though we communicate sometimes.Nakangiti kong pinagmasdan ang kabuuan niya. Malaki ang ipinagbago ng katawan niya. He became more bulky and of course masculine. Ang mestiso niyang balat ay mamula-mula. His facial features still the same but they became more define as he aged.My memories with him came in like a whirlwind. Kung paano niyang nakuha ang loob ko sa ilang beses na pag-aaya sa akin na kumain sa labas at magliwaliw.I would always reject him at first. I would always isolate myself from everyone. I was too afraid of getting attached to people again. I was so afraid of being betrayed again.Pero kahit ganoon ay hindi siya sumuko. Parati, pagkatapos ng eskwela, inaaya niya akong mamasyal. Nakukulitan na nga ako sa kanya noon. At
"Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome! The brilliant mind behind EL's Clothing Line, Miss Eirene Lopez!"That moment felt like a dream to me. Seeing my designs being worn and recognized by a lot of people, felt like a miracle. Ang akala ko noon habambuhay na magiging malayong panaginip ang tagpong ito. I can't believe here I am, actually living that dream.After I had closure with everything, I decided to chase my first love. I was hesitant in telling Rylle and my parents about it. Kay Rylle dahil alam kong magkakalayo kami pansamantala. At kina Mama at Papa dahil ang alam ko ay tutol sila noong una sa gusto ko."I won't stop you, Ei. Alam kong iyan ang magpapasaya at kukumpleto sa iyo. You have my support," Rylle whispered when I told him about my plan.Napangiti ako sa sayang naramdaman. I don't know if I would be able to endure being far from him. Pero ang nasa isip ko ay madali lang na lilipas ang apat na taon.Hindi na na
I can already feel the tension between my parents. Tila ba alam na nilang dalawa kung ano ang tinutukoy ko. I came here to talk about it with them.More than my eagerness to know the whole truth, I want to give my father the benefit of the doubt. Ayokong magpadalos-dalos at magalit agad without hearing his side of the story.Kung totoo man ang sinasabi ni Simon, na si Papa nga ang dahilan kung bakit na-depress at namatay ang mga magulang niya, I want my father to atleast explain his side."With your reactions, batid ko pong alam na ninyong dalawa ang tinutukoy ko..."I swallowed the lump on my throat. Pilit kong tinatagan ang sarili when I'm about to tell them what really happened in that place. At kung ano'ng mga nalaman ko habang hawak ako ni Simon."Simon told me what you did, Pa. Totoo bang niloko mo po ang tatay niya kaya ito na-depress at namatay?"I didn't even blink as I watched how his expression changed. Nagliko
Hindi ko man tuluyang maintindihan kung paano'ng si Rylle ang nandito ngayon at hindi si Simon, naging panatag ang loob ko. Knowing that everything ended, really, is a great relief.Inalalayan ako ni Rylle pabalik ng kubo. I have yet to ask the details. Hindi ko na yata magagawang maghintay kahit nanghihina pa ang katawan ko mula sa pagtakbo at pagtangkang lumangoy sa dagat."Did he hurt you?" His voice hostile, pigil na pigil ang galit.Sumagi sa isip ko ang ginawang pagpisil ni Simon sa kamay ko. Bukod doon ay wala naman na siyang ginawang pananakit physically sa akin."N-No," I lied.Alam kong hindi niya palalampasin pag sinabi ko ang ginawa ni Simon sa kamay ko. Tama na iyong nahuli na siya."How did you find me?"Marahan akong nakayakap sa kanya. Nakaupo kaming dalawa sa katre'ng hinigaan ko kani-kanina lang. He was caressing my back and my fingers. Kahit papaano ay nawala ang sakit sa mga kamay ko.I s
He continued pacing back and forth in front of me, laughing like a madman. He's more than crazy.I bowed my head as I try to sink in everything he just said. I can choose to not believe him pero ano pang magagawa niyon? I'm about to face my end. There's no point in trying to think wether to believe him or not.Whatever happens, I can't change it anymore. I was trying to console myself through saying that.Hindi ba ganoon naman talaga? Kahit gaano ko ipilit ang gusto kong mangyari, kung iyon ang itinadhana, wala na akong magagawa pa. I don't have the capacity to change anything just because it's not favorable to me.I lifted my gaze to look at him. Mariin siyang nakatitig sa akin habang nakapamaywang sa harap ko. His anger seething like nothing could ever tame it."Is that why you're doing this to me? For revenge dahil sa ginawa ng magulang ko sa iyo? Sapat na dahilan ba iyon para idamay mo ang mga inosenteng tao para lang sa pag