Chapter 6

Elise sat quietly while she politely listened to Joseph and the two stagecoach drivers discuss the Jefferson gang. From the description of the gang’s style of thievery, she guessed they were the ones who relieved her of her belongings while en route to meet her new husband.  She learned that the Pinkertons guarded the train for the last few months in hopes of catching the Jefferson gang in the act of robbery.  They recently discovered the location of the gang’s main hideout and planned on flushing them out before they could pull another big job; especially since the next major run scheduled was the railway worker’s pay.  She wondered if it was wise for Joseph to share this information with people he just met, but decided to keep her opinion to herself.   

Elise knew very well the views people had of women traveling alone, which was one of the reasons she said little and stayed as far out of the limelight as possible. Even if she was not fully aware of the safety factors for women traveling alone, the fact that she was caught by these handsome men dressed like the poverty-stricken farm girl she lived like over the last few months shattered her confidence.  She wanted nothing more than to shrink away into invisibility until she was safely back in Boston, soaking in a hot tub, and crawling into her soft, comfy bed before replenishing her wardrobe with beautiful fabrics and having her hair done by her lady’s maid.

She looked at the chipped nails on her work-reddened hands and curled them into the folds of her skirt as best she could.  No one would believe her true identity to look at her. The less attention she drew to herself, the better.

“So, Mrs. Meacham, what brings you to Lawton?” Oliver asked as he pulled a chair closer to Elise than would be considered respectable and sat down.

“I’m traveling east,” Elise replied in a soft tone that bordered on meek.

“You speak like an easterner,” Oliver observed.  “How long have you been out here?”

Elise hesitated.  She was unaccustomed to being interrogated by strangers.  After a moment of deciding what to do, she replied with, “Eight months.”

“That’s not long,” Oliver said as he flashed one of his winning grins.

“It was long enough,” Elise said as she resolved not to fall for what she was certain all other women fell for.

“Where abouts are you from back east?” Oliver continued.

“My family is from Boston,” Elise said while wishing he would cease paying attention to her. 

She was becoming more and more uncomfortable.  Not only had this gorgeous man placed his chair shockingly close to her, but he was leaning in toward her as he pummeled her with questions.  He spoke like he was accustomed to polite society, yet his behavior and the close proximity he chose to keep were far from the manners of a socialite.

 “If you don’t mind, sir, I would appreciate it if you would not sit so close to me,” she said in a breathy voice that was just above a whisper.

She thought she heard a faint snicker come from Nate, but she could not be certain since she was so flustered that her heart was pounding in her ears. Was there no one in the room schooled in proper etiquette to set this handsome man aright?

“Hey, hey, there Sullivan,” Joseph said with a reddened face, “I believe you’re making Mrs. Meacham uncomfortable. Back up a bit, will ya?”

“I meant no harm, Mrs. Meacham,” Oliver said apologetically. “Forgive me, ma’am.”

The room suddenly felt stifling as all eyes fell on Elise.  She stood on shaky legs and begged to be excused to get some fresh air. To her surprise, the very tall, very handsome Nate Kimble offered to escort her onto the porch.  She accepted his arm gratefully as she looked back at Oliver and wondered why he was snickering in such a manner. 

She would never understand men.

***

The full moon illuminated the night enough to allow Elise to revel in the beauty of the man whose arm she walked on.  For the briefest moment, she closed her eyes and allowed her imagination to take her back to Boston where she and her handsome man were strolling for all the world to see.  When they passed by Judd Turnham and she thumbed her nose at him and giggled.

“Is something funny?” Nate asked as he led her off the porch and onto the ground that was compacted from years of travelers.

“I’m sorry,” she said with embarrassment when she realized she giggled aloud, “I was thinking of back home and got excited.”

“You travel alone,” Nate said with concern as he continued to lead her further from the station building.

“I do,” Elise replied.  She as aware that they were walking too far out into the night, but the scent and sight of him made her heady.  She never reacted to a man in such a way.  She liked the feeling and she did not want the moment to end.

“Is that wise?” he asked. “You can’t be more than twenty.”

“I’m a widow,” she said defensively. She was suddenly unsure where he was leading both her and their conversation. “I think I’ve had enough air.  I’d like to go back in now, please.”

“Shouldn’t you be wearing black?” Nate asked without thinking.

Elise was aghast with humiliation.  The proper dress for a widow was indeed black, but she was lucky to get the dress she had on from Nellie when she arrived.  When she was able to purchase clothes with the funds her father sent, it never occurred to her to get something black.  She may have been a widow on paper, but she never even met her husband.   Unless she was placed in a situation of having to tell someone, she forgot she was even a widow.  There was also that matter of her family insisting she keep her little antics secret.  They used the excuse that she was traveling abroad with a distant relative, so only they were aware of her paper wedding and widowhood. Even close members of the family were ignorant of the truth. How could she possibly explain this to Nate?

Seeing her reaction, Nate cursed himself for his own stupidity.  Clearly, the woman was too poor to afford a proper dress for a widow.  He couldn’t believe he said such a thing. 

“I meant no disrespect, ma’am,” Nate said in a low sultry tone that made Elise curl her toes.  “If you’d like to stay outside for a bit longer, I promise to be a gentleman.  I was just concerned for your safety… as a gentleman should be.  Please forgive me.”

Elise listened to the natural hum of his rich voice and watched his Adam’s apple move as he spoke with the intensity of a school girl.  She knew she should not be alone with a stranger -no matter how handsome and charismatic he was- since unspeakable things could happen. The truth of the matter was that she was not actually clear on what those unspeakable things were.  Although she was technically a widow, she was never decently kissed; let alone anything else.  Other than that bile producing wet smack on the lips she suffered from Judd, she never had a man’s lips near hers.  Holding his arm while strolling or being led to dinner was as far as her interaction with a man went. She did plenty of flirting at parties and such, but her father made sure she was always properly chaperoned.  It was a fluke that Judd managed that fiasco kiss and he was a regular guest. Maybe she shouldn’t have been such a prude when Nellie tried to talk to her about what really happened between a man and his wife.

“The moon is bright tonight,” she said uncomfortably.

“I’ve always liked a full moon,” Nate mused in a relaxed, casual manner. “It makes it easy to maneuver when I’m required to work at night.”

“Is that often?” she asked.

“My schedule is an odd one,” he replied. He looked at her in the moonlight.  It was as if seeing her for the first time. Her long, wavy auburn hair was pulled back with a simple ribbon. It reflected the moonlight in a way that was mesmerizing.    Her large, round, brown eyes held an innocence in them that made him wonder how much of the world she actually experienced.  Her perfectly shaped nose was positioned above lips that could only be described as kissable, while her porcelain skin looked unmarred by the intense rays of the sun.  He had not seen such beauty since he arrived in the west.  His body responded with a desire so strong it shocked him. He could not stop himself from softly saying, “My god, you’re lovely.”

Chills of delight consumed every inch of her slender five-foot-three-inch form when he unexpectedly took her in his arms and kissed her with gentle slowness.  Her lips surprised her by responding on their own.  She may have been inexperienced overall, but her lips knew what to do just fine.  He tasted of mutton stew, beer, and cigarettes, but she did not mind.  His arms held her in a gentle embrace that spoke of the power they possessed, should the need arise. 

The threadbare gown she wore provided minimal protection from the happenings of his body as he held her close and continued to kiss her.  She was barely aware of his growing need as she clung to him as if he might disappear at any moment.

With his lips still consuming hers with a passion unknown to her, he swept her into his arms and moved with smooth, steady strides into the nearby barn.  Fireworks exploded within her while he gently set her down on a pile of hay and his lips moved from her mouth to her neck.  His kisses were fiery hot on her flesh. His strong hands lightly explored her breasts through the thin fabric.  She was oblivious to the world around her as she reveled in the unfamiliar sensations he created as he suckled her breast through the fabric of her gown.  A woman’s moan echoed in her head.  She thought it came from her, but she could not be certain.  Everything was so surreal.

She was barely aware of the night air caressing her thighs as his kisses continued to explore her body.  Was this what Nellie tried to tell her?  Was this what she was missing out on all this time?  When his soft lips played with her most private area in a manner that threatened to drive her wild she knew she should stop him, but she could not bring herself to do it. It felt so marvelous and he was so handsome.  She reasoned that, once morning came, she and this unbelievably handsome man would be going their separate ways and she would never see him again. Why not revel just a little longer in the delights he showered upon her.  In her eyes, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be naughty and not get caught by her overbearing parents or one of her snooty peers.  It was felt exciting as well as marvelous.

She exploded from the inside out more times than she could count before he moved his body atop her and settled in between her legs.  He felt solid and secure as he kissed her once again while holding her shoulders in place and driving his powerful manhood deep within her. It was then, and only then, that the reality of what was occurring struck her; as did the pain.  Even with his mouth over hers, her screams echoed through the barn. She twisted and writhed beneath him while he pumped hard and fast.  He was driven by an uncontrollable need to have her completely.  It seemed the harder she struggled to be free of him, the more determined he was to drive as much of himself as he could inside.  When he finally reached his peak, and relaxed atop of her, she could do nothing but whimper her remorse.

“That was spectacular,” he said in a breathy and husky tone as he buried his face in her neck.  “You are spectacular,” he continued as he placed his mouth over the wet spot on her dress with the intention of suckling her once more.  “I could do this all night.”

“Get off me,” she whimpered.

Still inside her, he raised his body so that he could look her in the face and scowled.

“You’re crying?” he said with confusion.

“Get off me,” she said with a little more authority.

“I don’t understand,” he stammered. “You were so responsive.”

“I was a virgin,” she spat.

“No way,” he argued.  “No way.”

“It’s true,” she said as she put her palms against his chest and pushed him off her.

Mortification for her actions set in as she realized that, not only had she allowed this man to take her virginity, but she would have to remain outside with him until her dress dried out where he suckled her breasts.  Something needed to be done about the mess between her legs as well. Although, other than washing it clean, she had no idea.

Nate was of little help and even less consoling.  His primary concern was over the fact that she was not an experienced widow with the wisdom married women had about avoiding pregnancy.  Elise was so preoccupied with the pain, mess, and mortification of the probability of the people in the way station figuring out what they were up to that a pregnancy had not even entered her mind.  Until then.

“The least you could do would be to help me clean up,” she spat as she struggled to stand without getting anything on her dress.

“My god, that’s a lot of blood,” Nate gasped.  “I thought you were wet because….”

“I need help,” she said as she struggled to keep her skirts away from the blood on her legs.

“Stay here,” he barked. “I’ll fetch some water.”

“What have I done?” she whimpered as she waited for him to return with a bucket of cool water and a rag.

She stood like a child with her skirts held high while he wiped the blood and semen from her inner thighs until she was clean enough to drop them.  He had no idea how to clean the semen from inside of her and was disheartened to discover that she had no clue either.  He voiced his dismay over the fact that she had not at least conversed with other women on the topic of preventing pregnancy before tossing water over the front of her dress.

When she squealed with shock and dismay, he explained that he did it so that he could tell the people inside that she fell in a manure ditch and it was necessary to wash down the front of her dress.  Although disgusted with his plan, it at least made it so that she did not have to spend more time with him while she waited for the fabric on her breasts to dry off.

She looked at him long and hard while they walked back to the station house and wondered what she ever saw in him in the first place and then chastised herself.  She knew fully that he was the most handsome man she ever set eyes on.  She placated her actions by telling herself that she could not imagine any girl being able to resist him.