UNSPOKEN DESIRES

DAWSON'S POV

Every step I take is a decision I make and every choice I make is based on my inner resolve. But with Olivia, my inner resolve does not rule me anymore; they are emotions fueled by a different force. Upon stepping inside her apartment, there was one thing I could not ignore, the look of uncertainty on her face. Something had changed when I was away, but I could never tell what place the change occupied.

The perspective that I carried in my mind while buying gifts for Olivia and Lily was that the barrier that appears to have been created since my departure would be less so after their use. Truth be told, I never considered such material acts as practical, rather, it was the only way I felt would assist in explaining to her that I was thinking about them both.

The moment I presented the stuffed lion to Lily, I was filled with glee and an unmistakable smile washed over my face. There was something so naive and innocent about it. She had no grasp of the complicated world occupied by adults. To her there was only toys and laughter and love. I wished I could go back to that time and enjoy the simplicity of life.

But Olivia….she was another story. I watched as she slowly unwrapped the scarf I'd bought her. The way her finger tailed over the silk made something stir in my heart. I knew she loved nice things but she couldn't afford them, and I was willing to get her everything she wanted. I wanted to let her know how much  she meant to me, something outside the contract we had made. But as I saw the  hesitation in her eyes, I couldn't help but wonder if it was already too late.

“It's beautiful,” she murmured shyly, looking up at me with those wide, cautious eyes. I knew that look. It was that look of someone who was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I took a step closer to Olivia, my heart thudding in my chest. “I couldn't stop thinking about you, Olivia.”

There. I said it. No turning back now. I'd told myself that I couldn't keep this simple. Business. But it was a lie. It had been a lie for a long time, even if I hadn't wanted to admit it.

Her lips slightly parted as if to respond, but she hesitated. I could see the conflict in her eyes. She was scared to let me in, but she couldn't deny what was happening between us. It was there,like a current pulling us both closer, no matter how much we tried to resist it.

“Dawson…” she began, her voice soft, unsure.

I stepped closer, not willing to let her pull away. “I know what you're going to say. But this isn't just an arrangement anymore. At least, not for me.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor, and my stomach twisted.she was scared. I understood that. Hell, I was scared too. I wasn't used to feeling this out of control, to wanting something so badly it consumed every thought, every decision.

Before I could say anything more,her phone rang, the sharp sound cutting through the moment. She grabbed it quickly, glancing at the screen. Her face paled as she answered.

“Hey Em what's up,” she said to the person on the other side of the phone.

I watched as her expression go from confusion to disbelief, and finally to anger. My chest tightened. Something was wrong.

“What?” She exclaimed,her eys6wude, “that's impossible.”

.I took a step back,dread pooling in my stomach. When she hung up, she turned to me, her eyes blazing with a mix of hurt and frustration.

“Are you back with Vanessa,” she asked, her arms crossing defensively. “The tabloids captured you two together in New York and are saying you two are back together.”

I clenched my jaw. “That's ridiculous. I had one lunch with her. Strictly business.”

Olivia shook her head, her frustration clear. “It doesn't matter. I don't want to be dragged into the media saga, I don't want Lily's life to be in the media and Vanessa will use this to her advantage. She always will.”

I felt my blood pressure rise, but not because of Vanessa. It was the way Olivia was looking at me. Like she didn't believe me. Like she thought I would somehow betray her trust. I hated that.

I stepped forward trying to keep my voice calm. “I don't care what people will say, I care about what's real, and Vanessa means nothing to me.”

Her gaze weavered, and I could see the doubt lingering there. I hated that this situation was making her question me, question what I felt for her. Vanessa was a part of my past, a mistake I've long since corrected. But Olivia… She was different. She made me want something real, something lasting.

“You're the one I care about. You and Lily, and I will try my best to keep you both out of the Media, just give me  a chance to show you that.”I said, my voice softening as I reached out to touch her hand.

For a moment she didn't pull away. I could sense the tension between us, the push and pull of everything we hadn't said yet. But I knew that wouldn't be enough. She needed more than words. She needed proof.

“I’m not asking you for an answer right now,” I added, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just want you to know how I feel.”

His breathing hitched, and for a brief second I thought he was going to say something, something that would let me know I wasn’t alone in this. But instead he remained silent, his hand leaving mine as he took a step back.

I was losing like a punch. Not now. He needed time to process this, to process everything that had happened between us. And if I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that sometimes the hardest part of getting what you wanted was waiting for the other person to catch up.

XXXX

I spent the rest of the evening trying to shake the depression that was ravaging me. Written by Vanessa. The damn tabloids. I should have expected this, I should have known that my past would find a way to wrap itself into my life as soon as things felt….right.

I stood by my penthouse window, watched the fading sunset, and tried to concentrate on the steadiness of my breathing. But all I could think about was Olivia. And how I was slowly losing control over this situation.

When had this happened? When had I let myself care this much? She wasn't just another woman, another conquest. She was Olivia, and she had somehow found a way past every walk I had built around my heart.

I knew I had to make her believe me, to make her see that this wasn't just some fleeting thing  but the shadow of the past looked large, and I wasn't sure how to convince her that she was different.

I turned away from the window,my mind make up. I couldn't let this go on any longer. If there was one thing I'd learned in business, it was that you had to seize the moment when it presented itself.

And I intended to seize mine with Olivia.