37

By question eight we’ve covered season one, season two, and the Christmas special. Melissa and Matt are ten points behind, and Melissa’s looking more and more tetchy.

“This can’t be true,” she says, as Ben finishes describing our “most memorable day together,” which involved an armed siege, a police chase through the Central Park Zoo, and blowing out the candles on his birthday cake in a jail cell (long story). “I dispute these answers.” She raps on the microphone as though it’s a gavel and she’s a judge. “Nobody has a life like this!”

“Dirk and Sally do!” I say, trying not to giggle as I meet Ben’s eye.

“Who’re Dirk and Sally?” she demands at once, looking from face to face as though we’re tricking her in some new way.

“Our pet names for each other,” says Ben blandly. “And may I ask what exactly you’re suggesting? That we learned an entire set of fake answers especially for this competition? Do we look like tragic losers?”

“Come on!” Her eyes spark indignantly. “Are you telling me yo