Chapter Five

Anna's POV

And just like Erica said, Danny came over with a box of pepperoni pizza and drinks.

Danny was Erica's boyfriend, they had been dating for eight months and I think they were a perfect match. With his sandy blond hair, tanned skin, dimpled cheeks, sea-green eyes that seemed to glow from afar, and his infectious smile but he was shy and reserved yet somewhat easygoing. 

There was a certain glow of affection in his eyes whenever he looked at Erica.

 It was as if she held the stars within her own eyes while also lighting up the entire galaxy that is Danny Phantom. 

It was strange to me at first, it made me question what their definition of love was and made me question what my definition of love was. 

Scar never looked at me like that, when he did, there was a certain glint of mischief in his eyes and a knowing smirk on his face and it took me years to figure out what he wanted even though I could see right through him sometimes. 

I was young, I had only finished high school. Scar made me believe he was doing me a favor, that no one would care for me as he did, he made me feel unworthy of love. 

But then again, maybe I had fallen for his charade too easily and I was suddenly stuck with a man who never saw past the surface of himself. 

He never saw me as a person, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was like a lab rat to him, a mere experiment, nothing more and nothing less than an experiment in some sick twisted game.

But then, then again, what else was I supposed to call our relationship? I loved him, I used to.

Now I questioned everything because it wasn't like that with Erica and Danny. I questioned what I thought was love, did I love him? Was it because I was vulnerable and he was the first and only one to look at me differently, no boy in high school did.

I was like a plaque, a plaque they all avoided.

He could put any number of words he liked on my plaque, I didn't need anything else, no name or title meant nothing. The only thing that mattered was that someone noticed me and that I wasn't invincible and useless and alone. 

Unfortunately, like his name, he was truly a scar, all he needed was a little blood on him to make a good piece of artwork, to create a piece of art. I felt like I'd given him more than enough blood already. 

I couldn't understand why he was coming back for more.

I couldn't give him that, I couldn’t give him myself, I wanted- no scratch that, I needed him far away from me.

I couldn't see how much he had manipulated me until I started therapy.

I was suddenly feeling suffocated. I tried to caution my brain. I tried to suppress the memories that were struggling onto the surface.

But they wouldn't listen and they refused to go away. 

They wouldn't leave me alone.

So instead of listening, I went ahead and ignored them, shoved them into the farthest corners of my mind where they could stay and where they disappeared altogether. But it was too late and now they were screaming.

Screaming louder than before. 

The noise reverberated throughout the space around me and my eyes widened and tears filled them and my heart raced. I tried to breathe in, but my lungs felt constricted and my chest ached and I couldn't breathe, couldn't move.

I couldn't do anything.

So I let them swallow me up, one after the other.

The first one was when we had gone to La Mére restaurant. He waited for me in the car. 

I was about to leave when I bumped into someone. He was a slender blond man with kind eyes. He asked if I was okay not letting go of my hands after he helped me up. I only nodded and he smiled at me before moving away.

“Have a great day kiddo” he muttered and I smiled back.

I shouldn't have if I knew Scar was watching from his car parked a few feet away from me. 

He watched with a blank expression when I returned to the car. His lips curved in a sneer but he said nothing. 

It was only when we got back to his apartment that he spoke and he was quiet for a long time, just staring at me with those piercing eyes as if he was expecting something.

Then he leaned forward in his seat, putting both hands together as if holding me captive in place, “So, what did you say?”His voice echoed against the walls and he spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him. And he was looking directly into my eyes so intently, I thought that I might have misheard him.

“Huh, sorry?”

He repeated his phrase louder this time “What did you tell him?” He growled impatiently.

“Nothing,” I told him truthfully.

He narrowed his eyes, suspicious, then sighed, “Nothing huh? So why did you stand there smiling at him?”

This time I was the one studying his eyes trying to gauge his motives and emotions. 

“Nothing,” I said. 

The next thing I remembered was his hands hitting each side of my face, hard, like he was trying to break my skull open. I flinched and tried to move backward but he kept pushing his weight into me so I couldn't get away.

“Don't lie to me,” he gritted out between clenched teeth.

“I'm not lying,” I managed to choke out despite his tight grip on me. “You're hurting me”

His breath smelled foul and I hated the way he smelled like cigarette smoke. But that day Scar didn't have any of it because he tied me up, burning the flesh of my back with a hot electric iron. It was so painful I nearly passed out.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what his intention was. I just knew he was torturing me. I cried so hard that day, I still perceive the smell of my flesh. I still hear my weak whimpers and sobs when he dressed the wound. I still see the remorse in his eyes when he apologized saying that he was only jealous and it was never going to happen again because it did happen again.

Countless times.

“Anna!” Erica screamed.

It brought me back to reality, the movie- flashbacks in my head stopped playing but I could still see the scenes, and still remember them vividly.

It was like being pulled out of a deep pool as if my head broke through the water with a loud pop. 

It was only when I saw the familiar curtains and paintings on the walls that I realized that I was back in our living room and two pairs of eyes bore into me.

Erica's face was filled with a mixture and confusion and Danny's face wasn't any different. 

I closed my eyes hoping I wouldn't cry but realized I already had tears streaming down my face. 

Erica left Danny's side to rush towards me and wrap her arms around me but I flinched so hard that she dropped my arm.

She stepped back surprised and frowned, “Hey, are you okay?”

I shook my head. I couldn't tell whether it was out of fear or out of relief, I don't know anymore.

Dropping the slice of pizza I was holding, I ran into my room while Erica chased after me.