Where the hell am I...

Left to my demise as I grow colder, my body remains limp while my heart continues to flood blood towards my wound, leaving me to become a mere watcher within my own being. Attempting to scream, my lips fall short and fail me, barely capable of conjuring that of an attempted tremble. Lying motionless in despair, I think back to all that I have done in life and of that which I never will. Transforming into nothing more than a shell of my former self, I gradually slip away despite begging myself not to—slowly coming to the terms of the reality that I face, that this may very well be it for me. Struggling to take in a breath as the warm liquid continues to gather, my body convulses without restraint; jittering unnaturally when all that I can do is wait, wondering when the lights will eventually go out while a steady stream of blood trickles down my chin. With my mind racing, I can’t help but pay homage to the irony of it all—acknowledging the ultimate kick to the teeth as I await death to arrive, led on the border of what was soon to be the place that I would call home. The place that we all would’ve.

Gurgling loudly, I pray to the Moon Goddess that Ash and the girls are somewhere safe—hoping the same fate that befell me did not find its way to them, wishing them all a safe escape wherever they may be. With each passing second, I become lighter while the growing sound of footfall continues to grow in haste to my displeasure; wondering what else there is for me to face when I notice an urgency held within their persevered pace, coming closer towards me with every step they take. As the creators of the noise eventually reach my side, I enter a state of unresponsiveness—struggling to muster that of a slither of energy to even open my eyes, leaving me far too weak to check who or what it is that is out there. Reluctantly drifting into the dragging darkness, I faintly hear a huff of muffled panting before I’m surrounded by a flurry of gasps and a medley of horrified winces, all crowding around me in observance. 

“Oh, no,” an unseen woman murmurs in what appears to be concerned distress; the voice unfamiliar as her words wobble unsteadily, “-this isn’t good. This really isn’t good. She’s hurt pretty bad, guys. Like, she needs to be seen to right now, type of bad. What the hell could’ve attacked the poor thing?”

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t a wolf. That’s for sure. Look at the tracks surrounding her. They’re huge,” someone points out, “-and I don’t even know what to say about the claw marks all over the girl. It looks like someone’s grappled her with hooks and ripped them straight back out,” the nearing voice remarks as a pained wince breaks into his tone; his presence growing closer with each word that he murmurs.

“So, you have no idea what it could’ve been?” an older male questions while trying to maintain his composure, slipping into a waver as his nerves get the better of him, “You haven’t studied nothing like this at all?

“I-“ the other pauses in response; dithering in thought, “-I haven’t got a clue. I’m stumped,” he clears his throat, “-whatever did this is new to me.”

“Oh, Moon Goddess, is that blood coming from her neck? This is worse than I thought,” the woman blurts out worriedly when a pair of chilly hands brush the hair away from my dampened throat before reaching out for my wrist, presumably checking whether or not there was any life still held inside of me—to which, at this point, I wasn’t even too sure myself.

“It’d be a miracle if she was,” the unrecognisable younger male comments bleakly, his voice filling with heavy remorse, “-we got here too late, didn’t we? Damn it. I told you that us shifting would’ve got us here faster than that stupid truck.”

“Oh, sure. And how would you explain a mob of wolves running through the City on the peak of a Friday night to the council, huh? Coincidence? Seriously, Mato. Shut up. You’re not helping.”

“Stop arguing for a second,” the woman’s tone heightens with a speck of hope while her touch lingers against my wrist, “-I can feel it. She’s got a pulse. It’s faint. But, she’s got one,” she exclaims nervously at the discovery, “-is this the girl we’re looking for? If it’s not, we should still take her back. We can’t leave her out here like this. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we did,” she asks when a tearing sound rips abruptly from above me, followed by a sudden pressure applied to my neck as my head is gently lifted away from the ground, almost like someone was wrapping something around my throat.

“It’s her. It has to be. She matches the description,” the older male confirms, his words well-spoken and clear as his tone resonates with authority, “-I think.”

“How can it be her? If she has a wolf, shouldn’t she be healing a little at least? She’s clearly a human,” the younger stranger comments when I hear a closing in sniff at my side followed by a shocked gasp, “-nope. My bad. Her scent isn’t strong, but I can just about make out her wolf through the stench of iron.”

“Shut it, you idiot. Isaac, what do you mean you think it's her? Please tell me you listened to what he said,” the woman scorns the pair in annoyance as her attention seems to drift from one to the other, “What did he say to you exactly before we left? Did he mention any features that would’ve stood out?”

“Ugh, it was pretty loud in there when he came to me,” he pauses on the spot; humming under pressure, “-oh, he said something about her eyes. Check if they’re like, bright blue-“ he rushes the woman as the thought occurs to him, causing the relay of a small pressure touching my face—leaving me unsure of whether she did indeed check while my vision remains immobile.

“Holy crap,” she murmurs, “-yeah. It’s most definitely her. There’s no doubt about it. They’re blue all right. We better take her back. She’s lost a lot of blood. Bloody hell,” I feel a weighing press being held against my oozing wound, “-it’s not stopping. She won’t make it at this rate if she loses much more. We ought to get going.”

“How does he know what she looks like? I didn’t think the bond worked that way?” the younger male questions inquisitively despite the dire rush, “-and why isn’t she healing? This is weird.”

“Enough with the questions already, Mato. It’s not really the best time to discuss all of this right now, don’t you think? Come on, your sister's right. We better hurry. It doesn’t look like she’s got much fight left in her, let alone blood,” the older male commands firmly, his voice deep and demanding, “-and truthfully, I don’t fancy meeting whatever it was that did this to her either. I’ll signal the warriors to join the scouts out there to search for anymore survivor’s. Dakota, when we get back to the truck, call the Doc and tell him we’re on our way,” I hear a jangle of keys.

“Not to be disrespectful or nothing’,” the younger male known as Mato clears his throat, “-but it doesn’t sound like anyone’s out there anymore, man. Listen,” he comments dimly while bringing their attention to the apparent eery stillness engulfing the forestry, “-there were reports of multiple screams. I don’t hear any. Do you?”

Before I can question the horrifying acknowledgement that I had just heard, a high-pitched ringing drowns out their voices as if they didn’t exist to begin with, eventually fading into a persistent buzz that solely becomes the only sound that I can hear. With my last felt sensation that of being lifted away from what I was sure to be my grave, any knowledge of touch drifts into numbness. Dizzily feeling as if I’m floating in the air, my arms flop downwards in suspension. Wondering who these people are, my focus swiftly dithers as my mind attempts to slip into oblivion—left at the mercy of what I hope is rescuers and not capturers, unable to do anything either way. 

Trying to anchor myself to the present despite the powerful desire to drift into the exhaustion that weighs over me, I focus on embracing the flittering pain while begging my body not to cave in to its pull. With my body becoming a prison of darkness, I’m taken away by the strangers, gently carried when the persistent rocking of being held nudges me down the inevitable slippery slope that leads to the silent abyss of unconsciousness, transporting me to the unknown. Fleeting in and out of unconsciousness, my eyes flutter—unable to stay open for more than a second as a weighing force holds them down, only allowing brisk flashes of blinding light to momentarily seep in. My head fills with a harmonic silence; almost empty apart from the echoes of my heavy breaths—unsteady and brisk as they fill my ears.

With my surroundings changing each time I glimpse a peak, I manage to break back into consciousness for that of a few moments—bewildered; unsure of where I am. While the hazy sensation slips briefly away, the breaking sound of muffled conversation pierces through the silence that had held me tightly within its grasp—accompanied by that of a consistent beeping. The voices surrounding me are filled with worry and concern as their words become clearer the longer I lie here, frozen, as if stuck in time. Fighting hard, I try to force my eyes open, but it’s no use, no matter how hard I try. Feeling as if I am cocooned and unable to break free, I remain flooded with an unshakeable euphoria as my body remains powerless—unsure of what is going on or if I am safe. Giving in, I accept the daunting fact that my body is too tired to work. Navigating my depleting focus towards the voices speaking, I sense the drowsy sensation begin to creep back in like a high tide returning, intoxicating in its swarming clutches.

“You could smell her from a mile off, Chief. Dakota was the first to pick up on her scent. She sensed her as soon as we entered the City’s clearing-“ Mato faintly explains somewhere around me; my focus slipping while the darkness tries to grip me once more, “-she barely had a pulse when she checked,“ he continues as his words fade in and out, battling alongside the returning silence, trying to mask him over.

Sensing myself become agitated, I grow uncomfortable to where I rest. Frustrated by the limitations of what I can do, I feel my body grow warmer beneath the blanket resting upon me. Struggling to stay awake, I wiggle my fingers and toes, desperate to hear more of what is being said around me, battling against the resisting pull, begging me to return to my unconscious. In reward of my perseverance, I feel my small finger twitch—a pang of surprise barely breaking through the numbness flooding within, wondering if I can do it again. Raising myself back into the present, the voices return mid-flow in discussion.

 “I don’t know if the others ran off or if whatever was out there had gotten to all of them before we arrived, but there was no one around her. We didn’t see what attacked her either,” Isaac seems to be the one speaking now while the regular rhythmic beeping lingering in the background becomes a tiny pace quicker, unnoticeable to the strangers surrounding me as they continue on, “-whatever it was long gone. There’s no telling what it was that done it, brother.”

“That’s not good enough,” an infuriated voice roars; his tone filled with anger, slightly broken as if he had been crying recently before, “-I want whatever it was found. You bring that thing to me, do you understand?” his raw-edged voice fills with an untamed rage while he deems the order—hypnotic and guiding despite his brutal tone.

“We’ll get it, don’t worry,” Isaac firmly assures him, his manner polite yet strong with compassion embedded in his tone, “-so, what’s the news?” he calls out after a flutter of flittering footsteps approaches from the distance.

“Well, her vitals are good and the blood that the pack has been donating at the recent drives have come in handy. The Doc mentioned that she’s lucky the cut on her neck wasn’t any higher than it is though, otherwise, she likely wouldn’t be here right now,” a familiar, gentle voice pipes in—her tone softening with empathy as she continues, “-I should probably tell you that the scans are a bit of shock, however. She’s got a fair amount of broken bones,” she trails off, “-and not all of them are from tonight. Most have healed. Badly, I should add, which has puzzled the Doc seeing as she’s a wolf. But, it’s gonna be a long time until she’s up and about. Even awake for that matter.”

Suddenly panicking at the imposed news, everything about what’s going on alarms me. Unable to recognise any of the people that these voices belong to, let alone why they are talking about me, I begin to question who it is that has found me exactly and what their intentions are. Growing faster beyond my thoughts, the rhythmic beeping in the background quickens its pace. Its once steady beat now rapidly increasing, enough for the others to notice while it echoes around the unseen room, causing the conversation to abruptly stop. A rush of footsteps surrounds me when a large, soft hand reaches out and holds my own. Gently picking it up and stroking my palm, the caring touch sends an electric surge to run through across it, spreading an explosion of engrossing sparks to rally throughout my veins—travelling throughout my body as it transforms into a pleasant tingle that somehow breaks through the numbness succumbing me. What is this?

“What’s happening?” the once fierce voice dims with worry, “Go and get the Doc right away,” he calls out commandingly when a set of footsteps hastily rush off without question, “-I don’t care if he’s in the middle of an operation. You drag him here if you need to,” he bellows after them.

As the flooding sensation takes over my lifeless body, I hear my barely vocal wolf pine uncontrollably. Paying attention to her cries as I question what this means, the unexplainable warm sensation grows intensely—spreading powerfully within me when the draining feeling quickly subsides to the returning wave of exhaustion crawling inside, making me slip unwillingly back into unconsciousness despite my piqued curiosity to what had just happened. Left wanting to find out more.

When I’m sucked back into my forced slumber, I find myself stuck in the centre of a mass void. With only a singular unseen spotlight casting down upon me, illuminating just myself amidst the darkness, I sit with my arms wrapped around my knees. Growing anxious at the new setting my dreamworld has fathomed, I glance around the pitch black surroundings—unable to see where the space ends or begins, appearing to go on for as far as my eyes can see. Picking myself up from the ground, I swallow down my rising nerves while taking a hesitant step forward­—uncertain to what will happen if I do. To my relief, the abyss appearing floor holds me; granting me permission to walk forward despite appearing as if nothing were there.

“Hello?” I call out shakily; my timid voice carrying throughout the darkness, resonating harrowingly within the deserted space, “Is anyone here?”

“Who are you?” a barely audible voice calls out as the once masked space before me lightens to my surprise; provoked by the unexpected response, giving me some guidance of where this dream intends me to head.

With a slow pour of thick fog suddenly streaming before me, I look down and notice a cobbled pathway appear directly ahead of where I stand when a distant image builds in the near distance. Building up a grand unveiling of some kind, the unknown landscape builds beyond the blocking mist. As the lingering plumes of congested fog drifts away, a small ivy-covered cottage stands in its place, filling my view. Beckoning me to approach, a set of lights beam from the inside of the cosy home while soft glow’s escape from its panelled windows, drawing me in with its welcoming appearance. Walking down the uneven path, a brush of familiarity troubles me as the blooming garden swells with all shades of colour. Before I reach the door, a menacing raven swoops overhead, giving me a fright before landing on top of the roof just above the entrance, squawking wildly while staring at me with its beady eyes. Quickening my steps, I rush to reach the wooden door and escape the sight of the unsettling bird, gripping the sturdy handle and pushing it open with no care for what awaits me inside.

As a plain room manifests before me, I stumble inside when the creaky door swings closed behind me with a heavy slam. Looking around, I draw my attention towards the glass pane, replacing what should be the back wall. Knowing not to question what my dreams conjure up, I place my hand against the misted barricade, running it against the frosted surface while I pace back and forth—wondering why I’m here, seeing as I’m all alone. Taking a step back, I suck in my breath when a large shadowed figure walks towards me on the other side to where I stand as if attempting to disprove my assumptions. Unable to make out its features, the silhouette takes shape when I watch the head of what appears to be a wolf lift to look up at me. Wondering if they can see me just as I see them, I tap the glass to which they react by nudging the pane with their paw in the same spot, causing me to take a rushed step away.

“What the hell-“ I blurt out, watching the figure jump back in a mimicking motion; noticing the shadow copy my movements.

Taking a moment to gather my jolted composure, I decide to take a slight shuffle forwards, and as expected, the disclosed wolf does the same. Bewildered by what’s going on, I glare in wonder at what’s presented before me—trying to decipher what it is this dream is telling me. Nudging forwards again, I tilt my head in unison with the wolf—watching as our actions replicate that of one another, not knowing what point this dream is attempting to make. Continuing to test the theory, I side step back from left to right, observing as the animal follows the same lead as I. Letting out a confused sigh, I allow my mind to wander while standing still, staring at the wolf without moving myself when it sits down out of its own will.

Stunned at the unprompted movement, I stagger backwards, to which the wolf reacts in surprise—like they had just awoken from some form of trance. Standing back up, it rushes towards the pane and places its face against the barrier—appearing to try to peer through the blockage that separates us, looking for what it had just seen, and that being me. Moving erratically, the wolf refuses to relent in its search while whining softly, trying to coax me back to where I had stood—unbudged as I remain present on the other side of the glass wall. Glancing behind me towards the heavily bolted door, I see no way out of this dream other than interacting with the unknown animal pining direly for my attention. Deciding to get this over with sooner rather than later, I step towards it—causing it to jump back in acknowledgement, confirming that it sees me.

Bouncing around excitedly, the wolf yips and whines with what sounds to be excitement. Jumping around ecstatically from what I can just about make out, the animal's ears prick upwards while it turns back to face me—granting me its full attention. Continuing its inaudible blabber, the wolf pauses in between each flurry as if it were waiting for my reaction, expecting me to understand what it’s trying to say. Staring back, I shake my head while raising my arms. A sudden urge within me tells me to focus when the wolf yips once again. Closing my eyes, I press my hand against the glass and divert all of my attention into the wolf’s attempted communication—hoping that this is what I need to do.

With a loud popping erupting in my ears as the pressure within the room drops, I stagger backwards when a jolting shock trickles across my palm from the barricade. Like a pulse striking the room, I shake my head to free myself from the swamping sensation of being in a bubble—feeling pleased when it thankfully appears to erupt allowing my head to clear. Unthinking of the wolf watching me in this moment, I rub my head while glancing down, given a shock when an unexpected voice catches me off guard.

          “Who’s out there?” the intrigued voice sounding similar to my own questions, causing me to spin my head around to look for the creator within the empty room, “Excuse me,” they chime in humour, “-over here.”

“Huh?” I turn back towards the wolf in confusion, certain it can't be them that’s speaking, “Was that,” my eyebrows knit together, “-you?”

          “Who else would it be?” the wolf chuckles lightly, “We’re the only two here. Now, can you answer my question? Who are you? I’ve been here for years and no one’s ever come to visit me before. So, tell me who you are?”

“I’m Willow,” I mumble nervously, taken aback by her outright forwardness.

          “You’ll need to speak up, I can’t hear you,” she calls out, “-I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s an enormous sheet of glass standing between us,” she mockingly points out, “-whispering is no good in here.”

“My name's Willow,” I repeat much louder, hoping my voice reaches the animal on the other side.

          “You’re Willow? As in, the Willow? That’s impossible. You can’t be here,” she scoffs in disbelief, “-I’m supposed to break out, not the other way around.”

“Well, I’m here,” I huff, placing my hands on my hips stroppily from her reaction.

          “Wait,” she steps closer, “-you’re her? You’re really Willow? How is this happening?”

“You’re Willow?” I question; feeling my eyes widen at the possessiveness the wolf uses when addressing me, “What do you mean by that?”

          “I’m your wolf,” she exclaims proudly, “-didn’t you guess that?”

“Oh, boy,” I chuckle out loud while keeling over, “-my dreams are really messing with me this time,” I point out a figure towards the sky.

          “What dream? I’m really here, this isn’t a dream,” my supposed wolf remarks at me as if I were in disillusion, “-you’ve lost me a little here. What’s going on? I know we haven’t connected properly yet, but I haven’t sensed you out there for a while. Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know,” I shake my head, still wrapped up in the concept that I’m apparently talking with my usually silent wolf, despite how muffled her voice may be given the circumstances.

          “I bet this is really confusing for you, huh? But, I promise, I’m telling you the truth, you’re really speaking to me, however, that is. I’m glad you’re here anyway. I need you to know that I’m trying to push past this veil, I really am,” she taps the glass, “-it’s got weaker recently. I’m not sure why it's only now started, but it has.”

“That’s a veil?” I question, still not sure whether to acknowledge whether this holds any truth or whether it's nothing more than a figment of my imagination.

          “Uh-huh,” she confirms matter-of-factly, “-I’ve noticed there’s a trigger that seems to damage the barrier nowadays. Each time you do it, the pane thins.”

“It does? What’s the trigger?” I bite, suddenly excited at the possibility of my dream holding some truth—leaving me wondering if I can gain any prompted advice from the figurative wolf to coax the real one into reality, not baring much hope in the attempt, truth be told.

Before she can answer, everything around me falls into darkness and her voice disappears out of reach. Leaving before I can find out any more, I’m left with hundreds of unanswered questions—enthralled by what had happened, uncertain as to what it is that I should believe. Sitting down in defeat, the returning spotlight bears down above me. Drawing up my knees, I rest my weary chin upon them while wrapping my arms tightly around my legs—burying my head into them. Slowly starting to wish this would just hurry up and come to an end. As if my body was listening, the spotlight amplifies overhead—glowing far too bright to watch, causing me to shield my eyes, leading me into the rapidly approaching unknown.