Compelled to go out

Narrator.

Days passed by, and by the time Adira and Austin came back from their honeymoon, Clair had successfully taken care of all the awareness programs that they had planned while Lilli and Henry looked after the business and other matters of the empire. Adira and Austin went through the files and they were satisfied to see that everything was in place as they wanted them to be. It is not that Austin and Adira doubted their capabilities. They were certain that they would prove themselves to be the best people to be around. 

Henry, Clair and Lilli waited for their approval in the office as they flipped through the papers. 

“Great. You guys have done an excellent job.” Austin uttered, nodding with a satisfied smile on his lips. 

“Yes. This is commendable Clair. I didn’t expect you to do it so well on your own.” Adira praised as she closed the files. “You have finished all the programmes on your own. That is awesome!” She added.

Lilli glanced sideways at Clair and sighed. She believed that Clair needed to have some fun. During the past two weeks, she had spent all her time busy with some kind of work. If she was free, she would fill it in with something. According to Lilli, Clair was overworking herself.

“Actually, she has spent all her free time on volunteer work.” Lilli told them. “She didn’t take even a day off.” She added.

“Really?” Adira raised her eyebrows. “You guys didn’t even go for a night out?” she asked, partly shocked.

“We did. But Clair didn’t want to join us.” Henry told them. 

“But....why?” Austin furrowed his eyebrows at her, as he studied her with his deep green eyes. 

Clair let out a nervous chuckle. 

“I.....I don’t have time for that.....I mean with Nolan and all. Besides, if I get accepted into the university I would have loads of work....I...I don’t want to .....I don’t have time to waste....ummm you know. I want to be focused.” Clair stammered as she tried her best to avoid their eyes. Adira watched her shift on her feet as she looked here and there. It was obvious she was anxious. 

Adira frowned as her mouth opened a little. Something was definitely not right. Clair was clearly stressed and she needed to release it. She was certain being with Levi would be good for her, but for her to push Clair towards him, Adira first had to know her better. She just couldn’t start on that topic just like that.

“But Clair, maybe meeting new people will help.” Adira mentioned in a motherly voice. “Maybe it will help you relax. I mean, you are young. It is ok to have fun once in a while. And don’t worry about Nolan. We all are here to help.”  Adira continued to study the young brunette who kept on chewing on her lower lip as she fiddled with her ice cold fingers. Her eyes looked anywhere but at Adira, who was waiting for her to say something. Anything.

Everyone saw how she behaved on the outside. However, no one could comprehend how she was feeling on the inside. She was anxious. Her heart was thumping like crazy and her breathing was getting laboured. Her stomach was churning and she had started to sweat profusely, all due to the thought of having to go out and meet new people. 

She feared meeting new people. Ever since she was abducted by those unknown men years ago, she had developed a fear of meeting new people. In addition to that, being forced in to sex slavery for years, had made her stop trusting others. It was a good thing that at least she had found Lilli and the gang trustworthy. But she only trusted them because they saved her from that place Clair would describe as a dungeon which was disguised as a beautiful palace. And of course, it was great that Henry’s mother was so much like her own. If not, things would have gotten worse. She would have given in to her mental turmoil and wouldn’t have found the strength to fight for her little child. She would have lost her will to find a happy future for herself. And perhaps, she would have succumbed into depression.

But, with their help, she had found enough strength to face the world and be there for Nolan. She got up and faced everything with no complaints. She didn’t once mention how she felt. She never uttered a word about her nightmares and disturbing memories. Though she trusted them, she just couldn’t find the courage to put those thoughts and troubles into words. 

However, going to a club or a bar was something she desperately wanted to avoid. Those places would only bring back bad memories of her being forced to dance for Mr. Stone and his friends. She and a couple of girls would be forced to give them a show on such nights. She would force herself to smile in front of them in fear of being punished. Those were the kind of memories that she wanted to forget. Those were the flashbacks  that she dreaded. She didn’t want to be reminded of how Mr. Stone would touch her inappropriately and she would smile against her will. 

She thought she didn’t care as long as she wasn’t sold into a brothel where she would be forced to sleep with numerous men. However, each time, she would break down as soon as she found herself alone. She thought that it was her fate. That she would have to live like that until she dies. It was only when she met Lilli and Henry that she realised that she too could try to save herself from that hellhole. If not for them, she wouldn’t have been saved from that place ever again.

“Clair. You will go with us tonight. All of us will go. Right Adi? Austin?” Lilli’s voice made Clair snap out of her thoughts. 

“Sure. We would love to.” Adira agreed at once.

“I am sure mom would be too happy to watch little Nolan.” Henry also chimed in while Austin smirked and nodded. 

“Yeah. She would totally spoil your kid. If she loves Nolan so much, then imagine how much she would spoil you kid!” He muttered. Lilli bit her lips and looked at Henry and then at Clair, but quickly averted her gaze.

“Yeah. Let’s have a blast tonight.” Lilli was good at masking her emotions. Clair shook her head and opened her mouth to say something but Lilli gestured her to say nothing. 

“You know what Clair. I don’t like clubs. But I’ll do it for you.” Adira stated as she walked towards her. 

“You need to release some of that stress you keep bottled inside.” She asserted as she poked her forefinger on Clair’s shoulder. 

“She is right Clair. You need to relax. I mean, you are younger than me but I swear you worry more than I do.” Lilli huffed.

“At this rate, you will grow old while I remain young.” Lilli batted her eyelashes at Clair dramatically. Adira rolled her eyes but then giggled with her.

“So tonight. Be ready.” Adira winked at Clair, who stood frozen on her spot, speechless.

Clair watched dumbfounded as the four of them decided to have a night out, just for Clair’s sake. 

“But.....” Clair couldn’t say a word more. There was an invisible force, holding her words back. Her eyes travelled desperately from Lilli to Adira and then between the two men who she saw as elder brothers. 

“Come on Clair. It’s not that we are going to get you in someone's bed. We just want to enjoy it with you.” Lilli murmured. 

“Yeah. Besides, I wouldn’t want to let any boy near you.” Adira added. 

“Oh really? Why?” Lilli smirked, giving Adira a knowing look.

“Let’s just say that Clair is special to me. She is like my own sister, just like Levi is my twin.” Adira winked at Lilli, who giggled in response. 

Clair gulped down a chunk of saliva as she studied their demeanour. Did they know what had happened between her and Levi? If so it would be so embarrassing.  

 Suddenly her heart beat increased, but in a pleasant way. Flashbacks of the little moments she spent with him at the balcony came flooding back to her. The way he held her. The way he spoke with her and the way his lips felt against hers. An involuntary smile curved her thin lips and her heart fluttered at those memories.

Levi. Even his thoughts made her smile. Levi’s memories were so pleasant. 

Meanwhile, the four leaders exchanged glances. There must be something special that made Clair smile, which was something she hardly did. But her smile quickly faded away and a frown replaced it. Shaking her head Adira sighed. She was almost certain that Clair was still trying to avoid her brother. What she couldn’t understand was, why wouldn’t she want to find happiness? If she also felt the same way, why would she push him away? 

Clair had no idea that she had found out about them. So she had to pretend that she knew nothing until she opens up. She hoped that Clair would finally start to share her feelings with them soon. Perhaps having some fun together would help her loosen up.

“Clair?” Adira called her, snapping her out of her daze.

“Hmm?” she managed to squeak. 

“So... tonight? Be ready. Ok?” she said. Clair forced a smile and nodded slightly. She didn’t have much of a choice anyway.

Maybe being with them will help her avoid those memories. Sighing to herself she walked out of the office. She wanted to be normal. But her life was far from it. No matter how much she wanted to have fun and live like a normal person, her experiences and responsibilities made it impossible.