We were a little quiet during dinner. Not that I don’t want to talk, but because I was enjoying the food. We talk sometimes. Zandrey would start the talk but it would immediately die down. Maybe we were both hungry because our attentions would be directed to the food right after. But I liked it better that way. We were not as awkward unlike before. I could really say I’m slowly getting comfortable again. When we finished eating, I felt like there’s something else I want to do more. It’s Friday and I’ve never been out for so long. I miss going out and drinking on Friday nights. Sadly, that rarely happens these days. First, because I don't have anyone to hangout with because Daisy's still recovering. Second, I’m swamped with work. Third, do I even have the energy left? I don’t think so. “Do you want to go home?” Zandrey asked after paying the bill. I asked myself, do I want to go home already? I looked outside. The street lights made outside looked magical. Maybe I was re
Silence enveloped us after he said those words. I don’t know how to react. He totally caught me off guard. He also didn't say anything after blurting out those words. Because of the silence, I felt the need to do something- anything that can distract me from the words he just said. So I took interest with the beer. I was supposed to stop drinking, but I took the glass to my mouth and drank the remaining beer in it. I could feel Zandrey gazing at me. “Don't you want to go home?” He broke the silence. I could feel the heat spreading on my face, which means I’m quite drunk now, but i could still think straight, just drunk enough to be shameless. “Do you wanna go home now?” I asked back. I tried to stare back at him. We were both staring at each other, like no one wants to lose the staring game. “Only if you want to,” he replied. “I can't leave you here because you're... quite drunk, so you can’t drive,” he added. I nodded. Something crazy’s running in my head. And I d
Warning: R18. Zandrey was my first and my last kiss and more and it has been years since it happened. But when our lips touched, it was like I still knew all along how it would feel. It was familiar and consuming. I was guessing he was surprised because of what I did as he was not able to react right away. I’m crazy, I know. Earlier, I don't even want to be with him, but a few glasses of beer later, I’m even initiating a kiss. When I realized what I had done, I quickly moved away. “I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t hear him reply. When I looked at Zandrey, he was just staring at me- the kind of stare that’s trying to pierce through my soul. “Why did you do that?” He asked. Why did I do that? Because he looks good and dashing and dreamy and I’m drunk and I haven’t kissed anyone for a very long time. But I didn’t say a word. “Aira…” “I’m drunk, I’m sorry,” I said. Now I’m starting to feel ashamed. “Please don’t say you’re sorry.” I didn’t move. I feel like
The moment I woke up, the memories of what happened last night all came to my mind. I couldn't even care about the throbbing pain in ny head because the memories of what happened last night invaded my entire system. Now I feel so frustrated not to Zandrey or anyone, but to myself. See? I knew I would regret it but I still let it happen last night. No, I made it happen last night. I suddenly remember how I initiated the kiss, how I told him to fuck me. I don't know if my mind was playing tricks on me, but I thought about me almost begging him for it to happen. And I even told myself I’ll deal with it today. Now that today finally came, I wanted to slap and punch myself. “Good morning, Mommy,” Andrei greeted. I was glad he didn't see me look crazy rolling above my bed earlier. When he went inside my room, I was just lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. What can I do now when everything's already happened? It can't be undone. And even if I try to not think about it t
The entire time I was with Zandrey was a torture for me. It should be a good time for us because we’re making Andrei happy. But everytime I see his face, the first thing that comes to my mind was what happened last night. I tried my best to dismiss it because it would only affect my day with our son. I’m not sure if I did succeed, I just know that I survived. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I can't avoid him forever. We have a kid together. At times like this when I don’t know what to do, I always go to Daisy. But with what she's going through, I don't want to burden her with my problems. She has a bigger problem she has to face. I feel bad that I don’t have any idea how she’s doing right now. I always send her a message, asking how she is or of there's anything she wants to do but she never replied to my texts. I thought maybe I should visit her. And that’s what I did. After weeks of thinking about it, I finally went to visit her. I'm already outside their house. I just
Everytime I ask myself, I also don't know the answer. I don’t know what I feel. I don't know if I still feel mad or I just don't want to feel anything at all. Feelings are too complicated to deal with. I don't want to add more things to the list of stuff I need to think about. I was staring at nowhere, diving deep into my thoughts, but I still ended up answering, “I don’t know.” “It's hard to assess feelings, right?” Daisy suddenly murmured. I looked at her and quickly wondered what’s going on with her and Dom. I was drowning with the things that are going on in my life lately that I forgot to ask her. “How's you and Dom?” I queried. One of the reason why they got married was because Daisy got pregnant and both of them realized they want to give the child a complete family. But I can see and feel it, that they feel something for each other. I saw them before everything got messy. And I saw how genuine Dominic is. It’s just sad that going through this rough patch led them t
It took a few more minutes before Zandrey at Dominic completed the grilling. When they finished, they also prepared the rest of the food. They also got the utensils and other stuff we’ll be needing for the dinner. Daisy and I were just sitting pretty there. It kind of feels nice. The food was served, and there was even a bottle of wine. I don’t know who wants to drink the wine, but I’m sure as hell I won’t drink some. I'm scared to get drunk again and do something stupid. Alcohol really contributes a lot to my stupidity. Daisy and I were sitting side by side on one side of the table while the two guys are in front of us- Zandrey in front of me and Daisy in front of Dominic. We looked at each awkwardly. We didn't know who would move first to get food. We look like crazy fools just sitting straightly. Something’s going on between Daisy and Dominic, as well as Zandrey and me. This awkwardness is kind of expected. And I didn't really know why all of us pushed through wit
Zandrey looked so stunned when he saw me entering the backseat. When he got in front, he didn't start the car right away, and peeked from there to look at me. “Are you serious?” He queried, furrowing. I couldn't look at him straight in the eye so I just looked ahead. “Yes,” I said in a firm voice. I saw him shake his head through my peripheral vision. And then I heard him chuckling. “Okay, Ai,” he mumbled, amusement was laced in his voice. “Whatever makes you happy.” He then started the car and I heard him buckling the seatbelt and before even starting to drive, he turned his head to look at me. There was a grin fighting to show. “Where to, Ma'am?” He asked teasingly. I looked at him and threw him a glare. "Stop that." Zandrey started laughing heartily. He looks really entertained with what's going on. I have really become his source of entertainment. “Are you really sure you're sitting there?” He asked again. “I will sit here.” “Why?” He queried. There was a smile
I instantly felt how much I missed his lips the moment it touched mine. I knew I miss it. I just didn't know I miss it this much.His kisses were slow but I don't feel the need to take it fastly. It was like both of us were savoring the moment and just don't want it to end.I know he was thinking about me and my bikini. There was fire in the way he looks at me. I was expecting him to be ruthless at this moment, but it is not ruthless at all. In fact, he was careful yet passionate.I know I wanted something to happen between us, but suddenly, just kissing him like this was enough. It felt like nothing will surpass the feeling his kisses give me.When we parted, our noses remained touching each other. My eyes were closed, feeling his minty breath on my face. I don't know if he's closing his eyes as well. I don't want to open my eyes just yet, because the moment might end once I open my eyes to our reality.I felt the back of his hand touching my cheek. "You're cold," he mumbled.I slowl
After our "photoshoot", I went back to the villa. Daisy decided to stay there to play with Andrei. Dominic also followed so he's with Zandrey right now. They say they wanted to go to the deeper part of the beach.I don't really know how to swim so I couldn't care less right now.While they're enjoying the blue water, I spent my time sleeping. That's why when I woke up, I was in a very good and light mood. A good sleep can really contribute a lot to my mood.It was already dark when I woke up. They're already preparing to go to the resto to have dinner. Thaniel also followed us because he wanted to relax, as he said. But he just got teased by Daisy, saying she knows he's not here to "relax", but to observe the place. Him and his businessman self."Hey, quit observing the place," Daisy muttered when she saw Thaniel looking around. We're already in the resto, waiting for our food.Thaniel quickly looked at Daisy and knitted his brows. "I'm just admiring the place."Daisy raised a brow, w
I really wanted to tell them that Andrei's going to have a sibling soon. But I still wanted to be firm with my decision in keeping it first until everything's okay. I know they'll be happy about it. Daisy seems okay about it. But I'm still not confident in telling them. I still need more time.When Zandrey looked my way again, I saw how he's suppressing his smile. I wanted to widen my eyes at him, or pinch him because he's being too obvious. But I tried my best to control my reactions and actions as well. That would make everything more obvious then."Daddy, I wanna swim," Andrei said."Did you finish your food already?" I asked."I'm full, Mommy," he said. He then pouted, trying to look cute. He doesn't have to try so much though. Andrei really got his charm from his father. And he knows how to use it so well.He really got so much traits from his Dad. I can't help but also think, who will the upcoming baby take after? Will he or she still looks like Zandrey? Or will he or she look l
"Do you want to just go home?" Zandrey asked while rubbing my back. I was still puking and it doesn't feel good at all. It's probably because of what I ate- from salty and sour to sweet."No, Andrei will definitely look for us," I quickly said."Okay. But are you sure you'll be fine?"I just nodded as response. I don't think I want to say more words after I vomitted like a mad man.Zandrey handed me the water bottle he took when he got out of the car earlier. I quickly took it to rinse my mouth with it. God, I can still taste that nasty taste..After I felt like the puking is really over, I stood up and headed to the car slowly. Zandrey was tailing me, with his hand guiding my back, like he's afraid I'll fall."Does anything hurt?" He asked while putting on the seatbelt. I buckled mine as well and fully leaned my back on the backrest after reclining it. I need to steady my head or else, the possibility of vomitting again will rise."Nothing hurts. It's just probably because of everyth
Zandrey should know because he's a doctor. I wanted to ask him, but I suddenly felt conscious. Even if we've done it many times, I still have an ounce of shyness in me.I saw him walk towards me. He's carrying our son in his arms. I saw how the kid ran to him earlier and how excitement filled his face when he saw his father. And now, the kid was talking non-stop while they were on the way towards me, yet Zandrey's gaze remains on me.He has that usual smile on his face. He looks so carefree and problem-free. He's always glowing. I feel like the world is really unfair because those who has stressful jobs are the ones more glowing. Zandrey is a walking example. He's busy with his job and does not have much time for himself, but he still manages to smile like that.He radiates so much positivity, and I just realized how much I needed someone like him in my life. I feel like we compliment well. Even when we just knew each other, we already clicked. I know he's a good person and has a good
"Are you joining in the van with us?" Daisy asked. They're currently loading all the stuff we need to the van. Dominic will be driving. All their stuff are already inside. They just dropped by here to get the stuff we will bring. After that, they'll go to Mommy Emily to get her. As for Zandrey, I'm not sure. He's not here yet. "I'm not sure," I answered. They did almost everything, while I just sat there watching them. I wanna help but I know lifting heavy stuff isn't for me, especially right now. I get clumsy sometimes so I should move as less as possible. "Where's Zandrey?" She added. He has work last night. I just don't know if his shift is over. His schedule often changes and he wasn't able to inform me. "I also don't know," I replied. I kind of feel sad that he's not here yet, but I cannot do anything about it. "Can you give me some of that?" I added. She was eating some chips and she was eating it with gusto that I felt the need to eat some as well. She handed me the pack. I
We weren't able to push through our plan of going to the beach after my birthday. When I knew I was pregnant, I told everyone we can't go because I was not feeling well. Maybe I lied well in that part because they never doubted me.However, maybe we were bound to go one way or another, because Daisy decided to set another date. And this time, I was not able to invent a lie, unfortunately. "This will look good on you!" Daisy mumbled. She handed me the hanger with a pair of swim suit. I frowned at her. I shouldn't wear something like that. I'm not sure how visible my bump is. We're currently at the mall, buying stuff for our beach getaway which wil happen this weekend. She wanted to buy some new stuff for herself so I just tagged along. She ended up choosing things for the both of us. "I don't like that," I said. "This really suits you," she insisted. I shook my head and tried to look for something else. I don't want something so revealing. "What do you want?" She asked as she put
Since we haven’t told anyone yet about the pregnancy, we were very careful when it comes to doing things. He wants me to stay at home for now, and maybe work from home too. But I don't want to. People will definitely wonder why I’m not doing my normal routine. So here I am, in the office and doing all the things I’m supposed to do. I even drove myself coming here while Zandrey drove Andrei to school. “Good morning, Ma’am Aira,” Jelyn greeted when she saw me coming. I smiled at her and gestured to her to follow me to my office. This time, I was not wearing heels and was walking as carefully as possible. I'm still afraid I'll trip and fall. Of course, I don’t want that to happen so I’m being extra careful. Jelyn then proceeded to tell me all the things that I need to do today. That includes some meetings and site visits. But I declined the site visits. It's too risky for now. “Can you ask my Dad if he can do the site visit instead?” I asked. “Yes, Ma'am. I'll inform him
I’d like to think that this is my pregnancy hormones craving for Zandrey, craving for his presence and all of him. I’m definitely not the clingy type but I have this feeling that I just want to see him all the time. I want to feel his presence all the time. I want to hear his voice all the time. I’m getting used to this feeling of wanting him to be just around all the time. It has been two weeks since we knew about my pregnancy. I haven't said anything to anyone just yet. Even Zandrey hasn't said anything too. It’s just the two of us who know I’m carrying his child. We have already been to the OB-Gyne. I was so nervous. I was reminded of the time I also went to the OB-Gyne when I was pregnant with Andrei and Andres. I was also very nervous that time. But unlike now, I have someone I can hold when I’m trembling in fear. Before, I used to go to my appointments with Dad or Mommy Miranda. But being accompanied by Zandrey hits different. The entire time I was being checked by the d