If only Saxon could see me now. I give a wry laugh. I know he’d be amused, but pleased. He likes Alice, and he’s frustrated that I’m taking my time with her. It’s difficult to explain how I feel I need to move slowly.“Now that’s what I like to see.” Alice comes up behind me and slides her arms around my waist. “A man being all domestic. What a beautiful scene.”I grin, put the dish on the draining board, then turn and cup her face with my wet hands.“Argh,” she complains, but she stops when I kiss her, and lifts her arms around my neck. Tilting my head a little, changing the angle, I turn her so her butt is resting against the sink and delve my tongue into her mouth.She sighs, and we kiss for a long while, taking our time, just enjoying being together, being close.“Is your mum okay?” I ask when I eventually lift my head.“Tired, but fine. She thinks you’re wonderful.”“She doesn’t think I’m leading her daughter astray?”“She knows you are—that’s why she likes you.”Laughing, I take
AliceThe next day passes in a kind of dream. It feels surreal having Kip here in Gisborne, in my house. Whenever he walks into the room, my eye is drawn to him, as if he’s too big for the room, like he’s taken a bite from the ‘Eat Me’ cake and grown to twice his normal size.At first I was anxious about what he was going to think of the house in particular, and my life in general. I was nervous he was going to be bored and restless. Although we spent three days together at his place, when we weren’t in bed, we were busy. Here, of course, much of my day is devoted to looking after Mum. On the first morning, we all have breakfast together out on the deck, but then it’s time to help Mum get washed and dressed, and I come back into the living room expecting to find him on his phone or laptop. Instead, I discover him lying on the sofa, listening to one of our Pink Floyd albums on the record player, reading.“Having a nice rest?” I ask, dropping to my knees by his side.“Mm. This is good.”
He kisses my bottom lip and nibbles it. “And did you touch yourself while you were in here? Make yourself come?”“Might have.”He finds the bottom of my tee and slides his hands up it onto my back. “My sexy Alice,” he whispers, “there’s no stopping you now we’ve set you free, is there?”“Not while you’re around.”I meant that I feel sexy whenever I think about him, but he says, “I’m not going anywhere,” and I realize that he thought I was saying our time together is finite. “I’m not letting you go now I’ve found you,” he tells me fiercely, and then he pulls my head down to his, turning the dial up to eleven for a searing kiss.He kisses me until I’m breathless with longing, and strokes me until my body’s throbbing with need. And then I remove my jeans, climb back astride him, and make love with him, our bodies moving together in perfect unison. I know we could come together, but I also know that he enjoys watching me as much as I enjoy watching him, and so I let him take me all the wa
Charlie wanted to come up for the wedding, and Kip kindly offered to fly her up on his plane, so we all go and pick her up mid-morning. She’s super excited to be here, and she loved the plane flight, and took full advantage of Immi’s offer of a glass of champagne and chocolate cake on the way. She’s thrilled to see Kip, and when I show her my bracelet, she gives me a big hug and whispers, “I love it. You’re so lucky.”The weather does indeed clear up by midday, and we all arrive for the wedding just before one-thirty. Gina has chosen to get married at a church in the small village where her Maori fiancé is from, about ten minutes north of Gisborne. Kip parks the car and retrieves the wheelchair, and I help Mum into it. He locks the car, and I push Mum up the slope toward the church.She was too excited to nap at lunchtime, and as a result I can see she’s a little tired, but she pins a bright smile on her face that lasts until we get to the church entrance. My uncle, Don, is there to g
AliceI drive Kip to the airport the next morning while Charlie stays with Mum. While we wait for the plane, he pulls me into his arms, and we stand like that for a long time, enjoying the warmth of each other, and just being close.“You take care of yourself,” he says, his voice husky. “I should be able to come back up in a couple of weeks.”I nod, trying not to look disappointed. I know he’s flat out at work with MOTHER right now. I just have to be grateful that he has his own plane and can fly so frequently.He gives me a last kiss and walks away, and I watch him until he disappears around the corner, feeling tears prick my eyes. It’s not forever, but it feels like it. It was lovely having him here, waking up next to him, being with him all day, every day. But nothing like that lasts forever.Charlie stays another couple of nights, and then she packs up her bags ready for university. June is working so I can’t drive her down. Kip offers to send the plane for her, but she announces
“Oh my God,” she whispers. “Seriously?”I feel such a surge of love for him that it makes my throat tighten. “Are you going to try it?”She takes one look at my face and bursts into tears.After we’ve both wiped our faces, I help her up and into it, and we spend the next hour going around the house and garden, reorganizing the furniture so she has space to reverse and turn. Eventually she returns to her armchair, worn out from the excitement, and settles down for a doze, and I go out into the garden and message Kip, asking him to call me when he’s free. He comes back within five minutes.“Hey you,” I say, still feeling emotional. “Mum’s spent the previous hour zooming about the house in her chair.”He chuckles. “Oh, it came? Is it okay? It’s not too big? I went for one of the slimmer ones.”“It’s amazing, Kip. I don’t know what to say.”“Next time I’m up, we’ll take a look at your car,” he says. “Luckily you’ve got an SUV. They told me you can get a bumper-mounted rack on the back and
“It was a-mazing,” she says. “I had a glass of champagne and a piece of a fantastic chocolate torte. So good.”I grin as we cross to the car. “There’s something to be said for having a rich boyfriend.” I open the car and start helping Mum into the passenger seat.“Absolutely.” Charlie concentrates on getting her suitcase into the boot, helps me attach the wheelchair to the rack at the back that Kip had fitted for me, then gets into the back seat.I glance at her in the rear-view mirror before starting the engine and pulling away. “Everything okay, sweetie? You’ve lost weight, and you’re very pale.”“Oh, just been working super-hard. I’ve got a dissertation this year, and the assessments are coming thick and fast, too.”“Are you eating well?” Mum asks. Charlie has a student allowance and a loan, and she works in a bar in the evenings and at the weekends, but Mum and I both know money is tight for her. We suspect that, like with a lot of students, her diet suffers occasionally so she ca
To my surprise, she shakes her head.“Come on,” I prod, “tell us what happened.”Still, she refuses to speak. Baffled, I continue to talk to her, trying to get her to tell us why she’s crying, but she refuses to tell me.Now I’m frustrated and getting upset too, and so’s Mum. I’ve been as gentle as I can up to this point, but that approach isn’t working, and eventually I sit back, my tone turning sharper. “This isn’t going to work,” I tell her firmly. “You can’t just sit there, bawling your eyes out. What are we supposed to think? I can’t leave you like this. I’m going to call Kip and tell him I’m not going tomorrow.”“No!” She drops her hands then, clearly distraught. “You can’t. Youhaveto go.”“Why?” Her insistence has sent fear fluttering in my stomach. “Charlie, what’s going on? Just tell me, and we’ll deal with it together.”“I can’t,” she whispers. “I don’t want to ruin everything.”“Jesus, Charlie! You’re upsetting Mum, and me. Please, just tell me. I know this about Jake. If h
June 21st (two months later)KipIt’s the winter solstice, exactly six months after I met Alice, and Mum and Dad’s house is full of people who’ve come to celebrate the renewal of Saxon and Catie’s vows and their baby-naming ceremony. Saxon sprung a wedding on her after Christmas while they were on holiday, because he wanted to marry her but knew she’d be overwhelmed by having to say her vows in front of lots of people. However, six months have gone by now, and she’s settled down a lot, to the extent that when he suggested they combine a naming ceremony with a vow renewal ceremony, she jumped at the idea.Dad’s twin brother, Brandon, and my aunt, Jenny, are chatting to Mum and Alice’s mum. Penny has been spending a lot of time with Mum, and I’m so pleased that they genuinely seem to get on well. Penny’s holding one of Catie’s twins and Mum’s holding the other, and the two of them are clearly enjoying themselves.Kennedy’s helping Catie get ready. Her husband, Jackson, with baby Eddie, i
He holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go outside.”Meekly, my head whirling, I let him pull me up and lead me out into the garden. It’s dark now, and a couple of moths are fluttering around the kitchen window, but there’s enough light for us to see each other clearly, and it’s not cold.Still standing, he turns me to face him. “What do you think?” he asks.“I don’t know what to say. I… I’m ashamed Mum feels that Charlie and I didn’t listen to her. She’s right of course. I was determined to make the sacrifice because I thought it was what I should do. But she is still my mother, and she deserves to have a say in it.”I look down at where he’s holding my hands. “But it’s not easy. It would be a huge change for her to move, and I know that change is one thing she really struggles with. When anything big happens, it always makes her unwell.”“That’s fair enough, but we’d make sure we did it in small steps so it didn’t become too overwhelming.” He lifts my hands and kisses my fingers. “Whateve
I glance at Charlie, a little ashamed. She looks back at me, her lips twisting.“I don’t think it occurred to either of you to ask me what I want,” Mum says. “And every time I tried to talk about it, you shut me down.”I stare at her, horrified. Is that true? I suppose it is. She did try to say she wanted to find a solution that would mean neither of us would have to give up the men in our lives, but we both steamrollered over her, insisting we weren’t going to cave.“When I talked to Kip, though,” Mum continues, “he said, ‘What do you want?’ I was so touched I nearly cried.”I glance at him, but he’s looking at her, his lips curving up behind his fingers.Mum looks at me. “As I said, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I’m not going to let either of you pass up on the chance of happiness with the man of your dreams for me. Alice!” She snaps as I open my mouth. “Please!”I close my mouth again, shocked at her sharp tone.“I know that over the years you’ve had to step up an
AliceI’m absolutely shattered.Charlie’s revelation yesterday threw all three of us into a whirlwind of heightened emotions, and it’s been very difficult to stop them spinning us around.Mum went to bed early last night, exhausted from the whole thing, and the two of us stayed up until very late, checking on her from time to time, both frightened of leaving her alone.“We have to sort this,” Charlie told me at one point, long after the sun had set. “We can’t keep doing this to her.”“I know that,” I snapped. But I couldn’t see a way clear through the thick forest of our problems.In the end, both of us were so tired and irritable and upset that we decided to sleep on it and talk again the next day.I lay awake for about an hour, thinking about Kip, missing him, and feeling miserable, and fighting with myself because he’s my best friend, and I wanted to call him and talk it over with him, and I couldn’t. Eventually I crashed out, slept too long, and I’ve woken with a headache, grouchy
I sigh. “Shit.”“Yeah. She was so happy, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I kept thinking about the baby, and I knew I had to try and make a go of my marriage for the baby’s sake. So I stayed. I told Renée I couldn’t see her again. She texted me occasionally, but we didn’t meet up. I tried, I really did. But Chloe had morning sickness for the first few months, and after that she just didn’t want sex—she said it felt weird while she was pregnant. And then the baby was born, and even a few months after, she still wasn’t interested. I tried to be understanding, and accept she was tired and probably sore, but… I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just kept thinking about how Renée wanted me, and how good she made me feel… And then one day she contacted me again and asked to see me. And I’m only human, Kip. I was lonely, and I know it sounds pathetic and childish and makes me an arsehole, but I was angry with Chloe for not wanting me, and for not taking my needs into acco
KipAfter my long phone call with Penny, I send a text to Sam, the pilot of the Knight Sky, then take my laptop out onto the deck and spend half an hour browsing and jotting down some notes until the doorbell goes. I answer it to find Craig standing there. To my relief, there’s no sign of Renée. I’m tempted to say, ‘So she let you out on your own, then?’ but I manage to restrain myself.“Jesus,” he says, staring at my eye, “what happened to you?”“Don’t ask,” I reply wryly. “Come in.” I stand back and let him pass, close the door, and follow him down the steps. “You want a coffee?”He shrugs. “Okay.”I take it as a sign that he’s planning to stay at least long enough to have a drink, and turn on the machine. “Thanks for coming,” I say as I start the espresso pouring. “I wasn’t sure you’d agree to it.” I glance at him. “Was Renée okay with you coming?” I’m genuinely curious, as I was convinced she’d arrive with him.He sits on one of the barstools and scratches at a mark on the counter.
He puts his arm around her. “It’s amazing,” he says softly. “Thank you.” The last ounce of resentment has vanished from his eyes.“They’re lovely gifts,” Mum tells me. “Well done.”One of the babies—Liam, I think, because he’s wearing red—stirs in the cot, waving his tiny fists in the air.“Can I pick him up?” I ask, and Catie wipes her eyes and nods..“Of course.”I lift the baby out and walk beneath the umbrella so he doesn’t have the sun in his eyes.“Hey, little fella,” I murmur, and he looks up at me with his big blue eyes. He smells sweet, of milk and talcum powder, and when I stroke his cheek with a finger, he grabs it and tries to suck it. I chuckle and look at Saxon, who’s watching me with a smile.I feel a huge swell of relief. It’s the first step to putting things right with the people I love, and it feels damn good.I just hope I can do something similar with Craig and Alice.*I stay for another hour, drinking my coffee and chatting to my family. Then, just before midday,
KipI read it several times, then send it.It’s time to head over to my parents’ house. Dad bought each of us a breathalyzer when we were younger so we could make sure we weren’t over the limit after a few drinks. I haven’t used it for a while as I don’t tend to drink at all when I’m driving, but I take it out of the cupboard and blow into it, relieved to find I’m well under.Taking the presents with me, I get into the Merc and head out into the sunny morning.When I pull up at the house, Saxon’s Aston is already there, gleaming in the sunshine. I pick up the parcels and make my way inside, my stomach fluttering. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the need to apologize for bad behavior.As I pass the kitchen I see Mum there, talking to Pamela as they load a tray with cups of coffee. They both look over as I stop and walk in. Pamela gives a wry smile, and Mum gives me a look that says, ‘What am I going to do with you?’“Morning,” I say, going up to Mum, leaving the parcels on the cou
KipI vomit twice more in the night, but luckily Damon’s there to help me stumble to the bathroom, and to encourage me to drink more water. So when I eventually wake up for real, I feel a tad fragile, but not half as bad as I might have done if he hadn’t been there.I check the time—07:14. The sun is up, flooding the room with pale yellow light. The sky is such a light blue that it’s almost white.The bed next to me is empty, and I can’t hear Damon upstairs.Still no message or calls from Alice, but there are a few others waiting for me. The first is from Damon.Hey bro, I left around two a.m. once you stopped throwing up. Take the Panadol and drink the orange juice, then go apologize to Saxon and Catie and I’m sure you’ll feel better. DThe second is from my father.I’d like to see you here at eleven a.m., kiddo. Make sure you’re not over the limit. Dad xHe hasn’t called me kiddo for years. It’s obviously a reflection of my behavior last night.The third and fourth are from Saxon. The