Later that day“Bro,” I say. “For God’s sake, come on.”I’m at my parents’ house in Brooklyn. Saxon and Catie are here, and so are Damon, my cousin, Kennedy, her husband, Jackson, with their baby, Eddie, and Brandon and Jenny, Kennedy’s parents. Brandon is my father’s twin brother. Pongo the Dalmatian, currently stretched out in front of the fire, completes the picture.I’ve been waiting all evening for Saxon to pop the question. It’s now nearly ten o’clock, and Catie’s yawning. If he leaves it any longer, she’s going to say she’s off to bed, and then he’ll have missed his opportunity.Everyone looks at me, puzzled, then at him. He purses his lips, stretches out on the beanbag he’s currently sitting in, rubs his hands over his face, then sinks them into his hair.“I’m going to regret this,” he mumbles.I chuckle and settle back to watch the scene play out.Saxon gets to his feet and holds his hand out to Catie, and she lets him pull her to her feet. She told me earlier that she’s twen
“Hey. I’m not interrupting anything?”“No, no. We were watching that new sci-fi movie that just came out. I’ll do a review in a few days. They said they’d take a bathroom break, but I suspect it’ll involve pouring another glass of champagne, you naughty boy.”I smile. This morning, I organized a hamper to be delivered to the house in Gisborne. It included a variety of fancy chocolates and biscuits, and two bottles of champagne.“Oh, it turned up?” I say.“It did. Mum and Charlie were very impressed. It was a lovely gift, thank you. I feel bad because I didn’t get you anything.”“Ah, you can pay me back on your birthday.”She laughs. “So, Saxon finally asked Catie to marry him?”“He took his time. I thought he was going to chicken out, but he got there in the end.”“So, are you a little sad?”“I don’t know. I feel odd. As if we’ve finally grown up.” I give an embarrassed laugh.But she just says, “It makes sense. It’s been the two of you against the world for a long time, hasn’t it? An
AliceOn Christmas morning, we open our presents, and then we prepare dinner together, Mum sitting at the table peeling potatoes and carrots, while Charlie and I get the turkey with the trimmings ready. When it’s done, we eat outside on the deck, reminiscing about old times, and then afterward while Mum has a snooze, I finally call Kip. We talk for over an hour, and then later, while I’m watching a movie, we text each other almost continuously.The next few weeks pass in much the same way. I spend my days either working in the studio or spending time with Mum and Charlie, either just sitting chatting, watching TV, or occasionally going out for a drive. Mum doesn’t like to be away from home for too long, but she enjoys brief trips to the beach, and she loves going to the park, where she can see the children on the swings and watch the dogs running around.Kip messages and calls me every day. It’s a strange relationship; we’re not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend, because we’ve only sle
The plane lands with a gentle bump and taxies up to the terminal. I thank Immi and Sam, then head across the tarmac with my case, and exit the gate.I see him immediately, standing waiting, hands in the pockets of his trousers, and my heart leaps. He smiles, and I leave my case and run up to him, throwing my arms around his neck.“Whoa!” he says, stiffening. “Alice!”I step back, only then noticing his long brown coat, his white Converses, and the fact that he’s not wearing glasses.“Shit,” I say, stepping back, “Saxon?”He laughs. “Kip’s stuck in a meeting, so I said I’d come and pick you up. I’m so sorry. I should have messaged you.”“It’s okay. I suppose I should have made the connection. But Kip didn’t actually wear glasses for very long when we were together.” I realize what I’m implying, and my face heats.Saxon smirks, then pulls me toward him and gives me a hug. “It’s good to see you again. Happy birthday!”I hug him back, touched. “Thank you. I hear you’re a married man!”“Ye
Kip“I missed you,” I tell Alice as I lower her down.“I missed you, too.” She smiles, looking up at me with that expression on her face that makes my heart race, as if I’m a movie star, and she’s been waiting in line for my autograph for hours. She looks amazing, in a white dress that emphasizes her English-rose complexion, her wavy hair curling around her shoulders looking as soft as candy floss. Her makeup is subtle but sultry, her lips a dusky pink, and her blue eyes are sparkling. Jesus, I could eat her up in one bite.“You okay?” Damon asks.With some reluctance, I realize I should go over the details of the meeting. To my surprise, though, Helen says, “Don’t worry. I’ll fill them in if you want to head off.”I glance over and find Saxon smiling at me. “Go on,” he says. “You two get going.”“Thanks for picking her up,” I tell him, and he winks at me.I look at Marion, who says, “There’s nothing here that won’t wait.”“All right.” I collect my phone and briefcase from Helen, then
I look at her fine features, her bright-blue eyes, her wavy blonde hair, and her gorgeous figure, and feel a swell of smug pleasure that she doesn’t know how beautiful she is, because she’s not had any guy whispering sweet nothings to her in the darkness. I was the first man to taste her, to be inside her. I don’t know why, but I find that an incredible turn on.She blushes. “Don’t look at me like that.”“Like what?”“Like you want to eat me alive.”I let my lips curve up. “Now you’re talking. I don’t really need to see the menu.”She laughs and opens hers up.“You haven’t answered me,” I say, “champagne, a cocktail, or something else?”She nibbles her bottom lip. “I’ve never ordered champagne in a restaurant.”“Then champagne it is.” I smile up at the waiter as he appears—a good looking Maori guy in a white shirt and black waistcoat and trousers.“Kia ora,” he says, “can I get you a drink while you look at the menu?”“We’ll have a bottle of the 2009 Louis Roederer Cristal, please,” I
AliceI can see how much the altercation with Craig has upset Kip, but he obviously wants to move on, so I start telling him about tomorrow’s podcast which is already set up for release, and which looks at a TV series that’s just come out based on a well-known fantasy novel.He spreads some butter on a piece of sourdough, then holds it out to me. Smiling, I take it from him and nibble it while he butters himself another.He talks about some of the other podcasts I’ve done, and it’s obvious from what he says that he’s really listened to them. I’m incredibly touched. It’s one thing to be aware of Wonderland; it’s another to have listened from beginning to end to more than one episode.“Oh shit,” he says suddenly. “I forgot! I got you a birthday present.” He lifts his briefcase onto his lap, opens it, takes out a gift bag, and hands it to me, replacing his briefcase on the floor.“Hmm,” I say, shaking it and recognizing the shape of a book, “I wonder what this is? A watch?” I place it on
He studies his plate, then eats a piece of venison. “Sometimes I miss sharing things with someone.”“And sex, obviously.”His eyes meet mine. “Obviously.”“So… me on top?”“That’s the plan.”“You’ve been giving this some serious thought.”“You have no idea.”I giggle. The champagne is starting to have an effect. “How have you coped without sex this year? I’m guessing you have a close relationship with your right hand.”“I’m left-handed, but yeah.”“I didn’t think about that. So which hand you use for… you know… depends on which hand you write with?”“On your dominant hand, I guess, yeah.”“Ooh, dominant. I like that word.”He stops eating for a moment, studies his plate, and blows out a long breath before taking another mouthful.“Sorry,” I say. “Am I putting you off your food?”“Nothing puts me off my food. You’re just sending my thermostat shooting up, that’s all.”I eat another forkful of risotto while I watch him. “Do you mind me talking about sex?”“Not at all. In fact I encourag
June 21st (two months later)KipIt’s the winter solstice, exactly six months after I met Alice, and Mum and Dad’s house is full of people who’ve come to celebrate the renewal of Saxon and Catie’s vows and their baby-naming ceremony. Saxon sprung a wedding on her after Christmas while they were on holiday, because he wanted to marry her but knew she’d be overwhelmed by having to say her vows in front of lots of people. However, six months have gone by now, and she’s settled down a lot, to the extent that when he suggested they combine a naming ceremony with a vow renewal ceremony, she jumped at the idea.Dad’s twin brother, Brandon, and my aunt, Jenny, are chatting to Mum and Alice’s mum. Penny has been spending a lot of time with Mum, and I’m so pleased that they genuinely seem to get on well. Penny’s holding one of Catie’s twins and Mum’s holding the other, and the two of them are clearly enjoying themselves.Kennedy’s helping Catie get ready. Her husband, Jackson, with baby Eddie, i
He holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go outside.”Meekly, my head whirling, I let him pull me up and lead me out into the garden. It’s dark now, and a couple of moths are fluttering around the kitchen window, but there’s enough light for us to see each other clearly, and it’s not cold.Still standing, he turns me to face him. “What do you think?” he asks.“I don’t know what to say. I… I’m ashamed Mum feels that Charlie and I didn’t listen to her. She’s right of course. I was determined to make the sacrifice because I thought it was what I should do. But she is still my mother, and she deserves to have a say in it.”I look down at where he’s holding my hands. “But it’s not easy. It would be a huge change for her to move, and I know that change is one thing she really struggles with. When anything big happens, it always makes her unwell.”“That’s fair enough, but we’d make sure we did it in small steps so it didn’t become too overwhelming.” He lifts my hands and kisses my fingers. “Whateve
I glance at Charlie, a little ashamed. She looks back at me, her lips twisting.“I don’t think it occurred to either of you to ask me what I want,” Mum says. “And every time I tried to talk about it, you shut me down.”I stare at her, horrified. Is that true? I suppose it is. She did try to say she wanted to find a solution that would mean neither of us would have to give up the men in our lives, but we both steamrollered over her, insisting we weren’t going to cave.“When I talked to Kip, though,” Mum continues, “he said, ‘What do you want?’ I was so touched I nearly cried.”I glance at him, but he’s looking at her, his lips curving up behind his fingers.Mum looks at me. “As I said, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I’m not going to let either of you pass up on the chance of happiness with the man of your dreams for me. Alice!” She snaps as I open my mouth. “Please!”I close my mouth again, shocked at her sharp tone.“I know that over the years you’ve had to step up an
AliceI’m absolutely shattered.Charlie’s revelation yesterday threw all three of us into a whirlwind of heightened emotions, and it’s been very difficult to stop them spinning us around.Mum went to bed early last night, exhausted from the whole thing, and the two of us stayed up until very late, checking on her from time to time, both frightened of leaving her alone.“We have to sort this,” Charlie told me at one point, long after the sun had set. “We can’t keep doing this to her.”“I know that,” I snapped. But I couldn’t see a way clear through the thick forest of our problems.In the end, both of us were so tired and irritable and upset that we decided to sleep on it and talk again the next day.I lay awake for about an hour, thinking about Kip, missing him, and feeling miserable, and fighting with myself because he’s my best friend, and I wanted to call him and talk it over with him, and I couldn’t. Eventually I crashed out, slept too long, and I’ve woken with a headache, grouchy
I sigh. “Shit.”“Yeah. She was so happy, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I kept thinking about the baby, and I knew I had to try and make a go of my marriage for the baby’s sake. So I stayed. I told Renée I couldn’t see her again. She texted me occasionally, but we didn’t meet up. I tried, I really did. But Chloe had morning sickness for the first few months, and after that she just didn’t want sex—she said it felt weird while she was pregnant. And then the baby was born, and even a few months after, she still wasn’t interested. I tried to be understanding, and accept she was tired and probably sore, but… I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just kept thinking about how Renée wanted me, and how good she made me feel… And then one day she contacted me again and asked to see me. And I’m only human, Kip. I was lonely, and I know it sounds pathetic and childish and makes me an arsehole, but I was angry with Chloe for not wanting me, and for not taking my needs into acco
KipAfter my long phone call with Penny, I send a text to Sam, the pilot of the Knight Sky, then take my laptop out onto the deck and spend half an hour browsing and jotting down some notes until the doorbell goes. I answer it to find Craig standing there. To my relief, there’s no sign of Renée. I’m tempted to say, ‘So she let you out on your own, then?’ but I manage to restrain myself.“Jesus,” he says, staring at my eye, “what happened to you?”“Don’t ask,” I reply wryly. “Come in.” I stand back and let him pass, close the door, and follow him down the steps. “You want a coffee?”He shrugs. “Okay.”I take it as a sign that he’s planning to stay at least long enough to have a drink, and turn on the machine. “Thanks for coming,” I say as I start the espresso pouring. “I wasn’t sure you’d agree to it.” I glance at him. “Was Renée okay with you coming?” I’m genuinely curious, as I was convinced she’d arrive with him.He sits on one of the barstools and scratches at a mark on the counter.
He puts his arm around her. “It’s amazing,” he says softly. “Thank you.” The last ounce of resentment has vanished from his eyes.“They’re lovely gifts,” Mum tells me. “Well done.”One of the babies—Liam, I think, because he’s wearing red—stirs in the cot, waving his tiny fists in the air.“Can I pick him up?” I ask, and Catie wipes her eyes and nods..“Of course.”I lift the baby out and walk beneath the umbrella so he doesn’t have the sun in his eyes.“Hey, little fella,” I murmur, and he looks up at me with his big blue eyes. He smells sweet, of milk and talcum powder, and when I stroke his cheek with a finger, he grabs it and tries to suck it. I chuckle and look at Saxon, who’s watching me with a smile.I feel a huge swell of relief. It’s the first step to putting things right with the people I love, and it feels damn good.I just hope I can do something similar with Craig and Alice.*I stay for another hour, drinking my coffee and chatting to my family. Then, just before midday,
KipI read it several times, then send it.It’s time to head over to my parents’ house. Dad bought each of us a breathalyzer when we were younger so we could make sure we weren’t over the limit after a few drinks. I haven’t used it for a while as I don’t tend to drink at all when I’m driving, but I take it out of the cupboard and blow into it, relieved to find I’m well under.Taking the presents with me, I get into the Merc and head out into the sunny morning.When I pull up at the house, Saxon’s Aston is already there, gleaming in the sunshine. I pick up the parcels and make my way inside, my stomach fluttering. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the need to apologize for bad behavior.As I pass the kitchen I see Mum there, talking to Pamela as they load a tray with cups of coffee. They both look over as I stop and walk in. Pamela gives a wry smile, and Mum gives me a look that says, ‘What am I going to do with you?’“Morning,” I say, going up to Mum, leaving the parcels on the cou
KipI vomit twice more in the night, but luckily Damon’s there to help me stumble to the bathroom, and to encourage me to drink more water. So when I eventually wake up for real, I feel a tad fragile, but not half as bad as I might have done if he hadn’t been there.I check the time—07:14. The sun is up, flooding the room with pale yellow light. The sky is such a light blue that it’s almost white.The bed next to me is empty, and I can’t hear Damon upstairs.Still no message or calls from Alice, but there are a few others waiting for me. The first is from Damon.Hey bro, I left around two a.m. once you stopped throwing up. Take the Panadol and drink the orange juice, then go apologize to Saxon and Catie and I’m sure you’ll feel better. DThe second is from my father.I’d like to see you here at eleven a.m., kiddo. Make sure you’re not over the limit. Dad xHe hasn’t called me kiddo for years. It’s obviously a reflection of my behavior last night.The third and fourth are from Saxon. The