At the same time, he rests a hand on my knee and pulls it so my legs part, and then he moves his hand up to cup my mound. He slides his fingers down into my folds, and I sigh.He lifts his head and looks at me again while he teases my clit. “Ready for me, Alice?”I nod, suddenly breathless.He strokes me for a while though, kissing me at the same time, until my heart is hammering on my ribs, and it’s impossible to stop my hips moving to meet his fingers. Only then does he lean across, pick up his wallet, extract a foil packet, and toss the wallet back on the table.Looking back at me, he thinks for a moment, then he rolls over and gets to his feet. I watch him go through to the bathroom, and then he comes back out with a towel.“Lift up,” he says, and when I do, he tucks the towel beneath me. “Just in case,” he adds. “Saves you getting it on the sheets and being embarrassed to tell housekeeping.”Oh… he means if I bleed. Oh my. That was thoughtful. And now I’m nervous again.Lying back
KipMy heart’s thundering. I take several shaky breaths, then open my eyes and stare right into Alice’s dark-blue ones.She’s stunning, her hair mussed, her lips rosy, with the edges blurred from all the kissing, and a flush in her cheeks.“Do I look just-fucked?” she asks, and laughs. Sliding her hands up my chest and neck, she cups my face and brushes her thumbs across my cheeks. “You’re so gorgeous,” she murmurs. “I can’t believe I lost my virginity to the best-looking guy in Wellington.”There’s no end to the way this girl chooses to flatter me. I kiss her, sighing as she brushes her hands down my back. When she gets to my butt, she gives the bit she can reach a slap.Giving her a wry look, I carefully withdraw. She’s bled a little; it was a good job I put the towel there. I dispose of the condom, then reach over to her bedside table, take a tissue out of the box, and hand it to her.She touches it to herself and winces. “Ouch.”“I’m sorry.”“No, don’t be. I’m glad. At least it pr
I’m so selfish. She’s not cold, and it’s not that she doesn’t care. She doesn’t have a choice, for Christ’s sake. She loves her mother with all her heart, and how can I criticize her for that? She should be applauded, in this day and age where young people are often condemned for being selfish. She’s looked after her mum for eleven years, with barely a day off to do the things that young people do. She’s so touch-starved that she reached out to a man she hadn’t even met because she needed that human connection. I’ve made her feel loved and wanted. What we have here, tonight, is like a present under the Christmas tree. It’s beautiful and sparkling and, in itself, it’s a wonderful thing, no matter what’s inside it on Christmas Day. I have to appreciate it for what it is.Lifting up onto an elbow, I tip her onto her back and move up close. She sniffs and looks up at me with her huge blue eyes, and I’m not imagining it, they’re filled with admiration and something a little deeper, not lov
AliceKip gets me to turn away from him, then moves up close so his chest is to my back and wraps his arm around me. I sigh and close my eyes, assuming we’ll cuddle for a while and then he’ll announce he has to leave.“Is this spooning?” I mumble as he pulls the duvet up to my shoulders.“Sure is.”I pull his hand up to my mouth and kiss it. The light scent of his cologne rises from his skin, along with the essence of luscious, warm male. Having lost my father, I find the smell oddly comforting as well as attractive. “You smell terrific.”He kisses my hair. “So do you. Your hair smells of strawberries.”Smiling, I close my eyes.Two seconds later, I fall asleep.*I rouse in the middle of the night, and it takes a few seconds for me to remember where I am. The window is on the other side to where it is at home. And not only that, but there’s someone in bed with me.I turn over, pleasure filling me as I realize he’s still here, and that he didn’t disappear in the night. He’s lying on h
We don’t speak as the car sinks to the ground floor. There are several other people in with us, and anyway, I can’t think of anything to say. I want to blurt out my surname and where I live and tell him to call me, but what’s the point? I need to sever this neatly, because I’m sure it’ll make it easier than hanging onto hope that one day in a year or two’s time, we’ll somehow have a fairy tale ending.The doors open, and we walk into the lobby. Halfway across, we stop and turn to one another.“Thank you,” I tell him. “I’ve had a fantastic time, and you were amazing. I really appreciate you being so patient and kind.”He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you for letting me be your first.” He brushes his thumb across my lips. “Can I give you a last kiss?”I hesitate, because I know I should say no, but the word won’t form. Taking that as affirmation, he slips a hand to the nape of my neck. He’s wearing his glasses, but he lifts them onto his hair, then moves up close and l
I stare at her. “What?”“Holy shit, Alice, he’s a billionaire.”“What?”“That’s nine zeroes.”“What?”Her giggle holds a touch of hysteria. “Oh my God. What was he doing on Tinder?”My brain is refusing to compute. “I’m guessing he likes being anonymous. I would think billionaires have trouble with women being after their money, don’t you?”“Oh Alice. Did you have any idea?”I think about Saxon’s Aston Martin. The way Kip ordered the most expensive wine on the menu. His Apple watch and brand-new iPhone. His exquisite, tailored shirt. The inner confidence that radiated from him. “I guess there were signs he was wealthy. But that’s different from being…”“Fuck-off rich?”“Well, yeah.”She looks back at her phone. “‘When Kip was twelve years old, he witnessed the death of his cousin, Christian Chevalier, who drowned in a sea cave after a pile of rocks collapsed. Kip swam to get help while his brothers attempted to free his cousin, but Christian died before the paramedics arrived.’”“Oh,
KipI go home, shower and change, pick up a breakfast wrap and a coffee on the way in to work, and arrive just before eight thirty, about an hour after I usually get there.As I walk past Marion’s desk, she says brightly, “Morning, Mr. Chevalier.”I give her a wry look. “Don’t start.”“I only said good morning.”“You said it with a glimmer in your eye.”She grins. “Have a nice evening, did we?”I pick up my post, then turn and rest my butt on the table. “I did, as it happens.”“The meal went well?” she asks. I told her yesterday that I was taking Alice to Red’s Rib Shack with Saxon and Catie.“Yeah. The ribs were amazing.”“Great, because I want to know all about the cuisine.”I sip my coffee. Then I smile. “She was lovely. Warm and funny. You’d have liked her.”“Will I get to meet her?”I sigh. “She lives in Gisborne.”“Oh, shit.”“Yeah.”We study each other for a moment.Then she says, “You’re not going to let a little thing like four hundred kilometers come between you, are you?”“
She told me that she cares for her mother twenty-four-seven, which must mean she’s been confined to her home since she was sixteen. Reading must have been a comfort to her, something she could fit around looking after her mum. Maybe she started by doing a blog reviewing books and movies, and the podcast grew out of that. She’s done extremely well for herself, though, to develop it as well as she has.How does she make a living out of it, though? She must monetize her podcasts. I remember something then and google Wonderland and Patreon. Yeah, I was right—you can support her on Patreon and get extra interviews, reviews, discussions, and even merchandise. She’s also running a Kickstarter campaign to fund a proper studio that’s already passed its target amount. Wow. She’s quite the entrepreneur. Now I’m really impressed.Why didn’t she tell me any of this? I’d have been fascinated and would have loved to chat to her about it. But even as I form the question, I know the answer. It’s the s
June 21st (two months later)KipIt’s the winter solstice, exactly six months after I met Alice, and Mum and Dad’s house is full of people who’ve come to celebrate the renewal of Saxon and Catie’s vows and their baby-naming ceremony. Saxon sprung a wedding on her after Christmas while they were on holiday, because he wanted to marry her but knew she’d be overwhelmed by having to say her vows in front of lots of people. However, six months have gone by now, and she’s settled down a lot, to the extent that when he suggested they combine a naming ceremony with a vow renewal ceremony, she jumped at the idea.Dad’s twin brother, Brandon, and my aunt, Jenny, are chatting to Mum and Alice’s mum. Penny has been spending a lot of time with Mum, and I’m so pleased that they genuinely seem to get on well. Penny’s holding one of Catie’s twins and Mum’s holding the other, and the two of them are clearly enjoying themselves.Kennedy’s helping Catie get ready. Her husband, Jackson, with baby Eddie, i
He holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go outside.”Meekly, my head whirling, I let him pull me up and lead me out into the garden. It’s dark now, and a couple of moths are fluttering around the kitchen window, but there’s enough light for us to see each other clearly, and it’s not cold.Still standing, he turns me to face him. “What do you think?” he asks.“I don’t know what to say. I… I’m ashamed Mum feels that Charlie and I didn’t listen to her. She’s right of course. I was determined to make the sacrifice because I thought it was what I should do. But she is still my mother, and she deserves to have a say in it.”I look down at where he’s holding my hands. “But it’s not easy. It would be a huge change for her to move, and I know that change is one thing she really struggles with. When anything big happens, it always makes her unwell.”“That’s fair enough, but we’d make sure we did it in small steps so it didn’t become too overwhelming.” He lifts my hands and kisses my fingers. “Whateve
I glance at Charlie, a little ashamed. She looks back at me, her lips twisting.“I don’t think it occurred to either of you to ask me what I want,” Mum says. “And every time I tried to talk about it, you shut me down.”I stare at her, horrified. Is that true? I suppose it is. She did try to say she wanted to find a solution that would mean neither of us would have to give up the men in our lives, but we both steamrollered over her, insisting we weren’t going to cave.“When I talked to Kip, though,” Mum continues, “he said, ‘What do you want?’ I was so touched I nearly cried.”I glance at him, but he’s looking at her, his lips curving up behind his fingers.Mum looks at me. “As I said, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I’m not going to let either of you pass up on the chance of happiness with the man of your dreams for me. Alice!” She snaps as I open my mouth. “Please!”I close my mouth again, shocked at her sharp tone.“I know that over the years you’ve had to step up an
AliceI’m absolutely shattered.Charlie’s revelation yesterday threw all three of us into a whirlwind of heightened emotions, and it’s been very difficult to stop them spinning us around.Mum went to bed early last night, exhausted from the whole thing, and the two of us stayed up until very late, checking on her from time to time, both frightened of leaving her alone.“We have to sort this,” Charlie told me at one point, long after the sun had set. “We can’t keep doing this to her.”“I know that,” I snapped. But I couldn’t see a way clear through the thick forest of our problems.In the end, both of us were so tired and irritable and upset that we decided to sleep on it and talk again the next day.I lay awake for about an hour, thinking about Kip, missing him, and feeling miserable, and fighting with myself because he’s my best friend, and I wanted to call him and talk it over with him, and I couldn’t. Eventually I crashed out, slept too long, and I’ve woken with a headache, grouchy
I sigh. “Shit.”“Yeah. She was so happy, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I kept thinking about the baby, and I knew I had to try and make a go of my marriage for the baby’s sake. So I stayed. I told Renée I couldn’t see her again. She texted me occasionally, but we didn’t meet up. I tried, I really did. But Chloe had morning sickness for the first few months, and after that she just didn’t want sex—she said it felt weird while she was pregnant. And then the baby was born, and even a few months after, she still wasn’t interested. I tried to be understanding, and accept she was tired and probably sore, but… I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just kept thinking about how Renée wanted me, and how good she made me feel… And then one day she contacted me again and asked to see me. And I’m only human, Kip. I was lonely, and I know it sounds pathetic and childish and makes me an arsehole, but I was angry with Chloe for not wanting me, and for not taking my needs into acco
KipAfter my long phone call with Penny, I send a text to Sam, the pilot of the Knight Sky, then take my laptop out onto the deck and spend half an hour browsing and jotting down some notes until the doorbell goes. I answer it to find Craig standing there. To my relief, there’s no sign of Renée. I’m tempted to say, ‘So she let you out on your own, then?’ but I manage to restrain myself.“Jesus,” he says, staring at my eye, “what happened to you?”“Don’t ask,” I reply wryly. “Come in.” I stand back and let him pass, close the door, and follow him down the steps. “You want a coffee?”He shrugs. “Okay.”I take it as a sign that he’s planning to stay at least long enough to have a drink, and turn on the machine. “Thanks for coming,” I say as I start the espresso pouring. “I wasn’t sure you’d agree to it.” I glance at him. “Was Renée okay with you coming?” I’m genuinely curious, as I was convinced she’d arrive with him.He sits on one of the barstools and scratches at a mark on the counter.
He puts his arm around her. “It’s amazing,” he says softly. “Thank you.” The last ounce of resentment has vanished from his eyes.“They’re lovely gifts,” Mum tells me. “Well done.”One of the babies—Liam, I think, because he’s wearing red—stirs in the cot, waving his tiny fists in the air.“Can I pick him up?” I ask, and Catie wipes her eyes and nods..“Of course.”I lift the baby out and walk beneath the umbrella so he doesn’t have the sun in his eyes.“Hey, little fella,” I murmur, and he looks up at me with his big blue eyes. He smells sweet, of milk and talcum powder, and when I stroke his cheek with a finger, he grabs it and tries to suck it. I chuckle and look at Saxon, who’s watching me with a smile.I feel a huge swell of relief. It’s the first step to putting things right with the people I love, and it feels damn good.I just hope I can do something similar with Craig and Alice.*I stay for another hour, drinking my coffee and chatting to my family. Then, just before midday,
KipI read it several times, then send it.It’s time to head over to my parents’ house. Dad bought each of us a breathalyzer when we were younger so we could make sure we weren’t over the limit after a few drinks. I haven’t used it for a while as I don’t tend to drink at all when I’m driving, but I take it out of the cupboard and blow into it, relieved to find I’m well under.Taking the presents with me, I get into the Merc and head out into the sunny morning.When I pull up at the house, Saxon’s Aston is already there, gleaming in the sunshine. I pick up the parcels and make my way inside, my stomach fluttering. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the need to apologize for bad behavior.As I pass the kitchen I see Mum there, talking to Pamela as they load a tray with cups of coffee. They both look over as I stop and walk in. Pamela gives a wry smile, and Mum gives me a look that says, ‘What am I going to do with you?’“Morning,” I say, going up to Mum, leaving the parcels on the cou
KipI vomit twice more in the night, but luckily Damon’s there to help me stumble to the bathroom, and to encourage me to drink more water. So when I eventually wake up for real, I feel a tad fragile, but not half as bad as I might have done if he hadn’t been there.I check the time—07:14. The sun is up, flooding the room with pale yellow light. The sky is such a light blue that it’s almost white.The bed next to me is empty, and I can’t hear Damon upstairs.Still no message or calls from Alice, but there are a few others waiting for me. The first is from Damon.Hey bro, I left around two a.m. once you stopped throwing up. Take the Panadol and drink the orange juice, then go apologize to Saxon and Catie and I’m sure you’ll feel better. DThe second is from my father.I’d like to see you here at eleven a.m., kiddo. Make sure you’re not over the limit. Dad xHe hasn’t called me kiddo for years. It’s obviously a reflection of my behavior last night.The third and fourth are from Saxon. The