Chapter Five

Giavanna leaned back, sinking her hands into the warm sand lining the edges of the lake that lay before her. She had made the short hike through the woods that butted against her family's backyard and was happy to find the beach deserted. With the cool breeze whipping across the water and flurry of mateship move preparations throughout the pack, she shouldn't have been surprised. She needed this time to herself to untangle all the thoughts and worries that were rattling around her brain. It had been five days since the evening of the ball; five days since she had stayed up all night with Sebastian, flirting and laughing over donuts and coffee at a 24-hour diner. Five days since she met the love of her life. Supposedly.

Her mind was in a constant battle with itself, swinging from lust, guilt, contentment, and anger in an endless loop. Giavanna thought she knew what to expect with the soulmate bond. A longing to be near your partner, feeling as if a part of yourself was missing whenever you were apart, no matter the reason or length of time. Fiery passion that only grew more profound and more fevered with each kiss or caress. An undeniable sense of completeness and happiness. That's what she'd been taught by pack elders and witnessed with her own parents. Not to be experiencing those feelings with the intensity and heat that she anticipated was almost devastating.

Besides that first evening, Sebastian had been largely absent that week. He had explained that his position as the Blood Lake Alpha's personal assistant left him with little free time, but Giavanna thought he'd at least get some time to bond with his soulmate for more than an hour a day. His brief visit every morning after breakfast was the highlight of her day. They'd hole up in the sunroom of her house, chatting excitedly until his workday began. Then he'd leave, with not even a hug, tiny fissures of pain growing in her heart. Besides holding her hands a few times the evening of the ball, Sebastian had not touched Giavanna again, and any time she'd made an advance, he'd tactfully put more distance between them. Compared with Elsbeth and Dwayne, who had marked one another and moved in together within two days of meeting, Giavanna felt like a complete failure.

Grant had become a close friend in the short time he and Giavanna knew one another, and Jared was even a welcome visitor in the Sperino home, after several sincere apologies for his abhorrent behavior the evening of the ball. Marco and Anita were fond of the brothers and took turns grilling them about the Blood Lake pack way of life. Neither of them was happy that their baby would be potentially moving so far away. However, they felt more comfortable knowing she'd have at least a few friendships already established, which led to another problem in her relationship. Why was Sebastian so accepting of her being friends with two unmated males? He exhibited no signs of possessive, territorial behavior like newly mated males typically did. Not even a grunt when Grant would pat her shoulder or if Jared attempted to give her a noogie.

She was still wrestling with her feelings when she noticed evening colors had begun to paint the sky, swirling around as the sun began its descent. The wind shifted, and she caught a whiff of what was fast becoming her new favorite scent. Giavanna turned to see Sebastian walking quickly towards her, his grin widening at the surprised happiness on her face.

Giavanna patted the space next to her, turning back to the sunset, the colors in the sky beginning their evening dance. Sebastian sat quickly, removing his sneakers and socks to bury his feet in the cooling sand.

"It's been such a long time since I've gotten to enjoy a sunset that I almost forgot how beautiful they are," Sebastian confessed quietly. He scooted closer to Giavanna until she could feel the heat radiating off his body, making her stomach clench with giddiness.

"Really? Does your Alpha always keep you so busy?" Giavanna asked softly, her eyes never straying from the fading light. She knew if she looked at him just then, she'd try to lean on him or kiss him, and her heart couldn't keep taking the rejection.

Sebastian sighed heavily before replying. "That's actually one of the reasons I came to see you tonight. I know this week hasn't been what you were expecting, not even close. And a large part of that is my fault for not preparing well enough before I took leave from the pack."

"I had a long talk with my Alpha this afternoon," he continued, "and told him things needed to change. Giving so much of my time and energy to pack business isn't leaving much for me and pretty much nothing for you." Sebastian leaned over and gently touched her chin, directing her head towards him so she could look into his eyes. "I told him that if things continued the same between us that I knew you'd reject our bond, and I can't have that, Giavanna."

She sucked in a quick breath, her chin tingling where Sebastian's fingers still lay. His eyes, those beautiful cornflower blue eyes, were filled with sincerity and an emotion Giavanna couldn't quite place, causing her heart to thump rapidly. Much to her dislike, Sebastian lowered his hand to his lap and resumed his explanation.

"I can't expect you to travel halfway across the country, uprooting your entire life, to suddenly live with what amounts to a stranger. I'm returning home with Jared tomorrow. There are some things I need to finish up in person for our pack," Sebastian paused, the look of despair that washed over Giavanna's face caused him to elaborate hurriedly. "Give me two days. Then I would love for you to visit the Blood Lake territory. Grant has agreed to stay behind, so you have a travel companion, and I can prepare for your arrival."

Giavanna sat silently, stunned at Sebastian's plan. She blinked her eyes rapidly to prevent the angry and elated tears from falling down her cheeks, returning her gaze to the sky. He wanted her to visit, which was wonderful and considerate, but he was leaving her voluntarily for two days. Weren't they supposed to be absolutely enraptured by one another's company, that parting for so long when they just found each other would be agonizing? How could her soulmate bond be this wretchedly defective that it would allow him to happily leave her alone with Grant? She knew her friend wouldn't try anything with her; it hurt knowing she was so undesirable that her mate could just walk away so easily. The ache in her chest swelled even further, the frustration and burning pressure causing her to shudder and begin speaking.

"I, Giavanna Rosalie Sperino of the..."

"No, no, no, please no!" Sebastian roared, pouncing on Giavanna. He wrapped his arms tightly around her trembling frame and cradled the back of her head with one palm, easing her face into the crook of his neck. "Please don't, not yet."

Giavanna inhaled deeply, Sebastian's comforting scent and warm embrace putting her mind at ease, at least momentarily. His thumb rubbed the side of her head, just above her ear, in soothing circles and his grip around her waist tightened. "Giavanna, please visit me first. Please. Give us a chance before you reject the bond. Give me one chance. Please?" She could hear the desperation in his voice as he whispered the words into her hair.

"Ok," she murmured into his neck, cautiously returning his hug. He stiffened briefly in her embrace before melting into her arms, burrowing his face into her shoulder. Both of his arms now encircled her waist, and she was amazed at how tightly he could hold her.

"Thank the Moon Goddess," Sebastian breathed out. "Things will be different when you visit." A hand drifted up Giavanna's back, tangling into her hair. She raised her head from his neck as he lifted his from her shoulder, the tears she had kept at bay finally falling. Sebastian gave her a searching, piercing look before he suddenly leaned forward and kissed Giavanna.

His lips had barely touched hers when he leaped backward, holding a hand over his lower face, eyes wildly scanning the area around them. "What's wrong?" Giavanna cried, her hand tracing her bottom lip. "Am I that disgusting?"

Grabbing his shoes and socks, Sebastian hurried a few feet away before turning around and calling, "Don't ever think that. It's me. It's all me. Just give me two days. Two days."

Giavanna remained on the beach, staring at Sebastian's back as he sprinted away as fast as he could.