CHAPTER II

CHAPTER TWO

'The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you."

― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

It had been a long time since he last saw her, now that he finally glimpsed a sight of her after three years full of anguish and hatred, he couldn't seem to realize whether this feeling that was flooding against his spine and heart was in fact out of longing for her, or out of pure rage.

"Hello, Miss. Cuthbert, it is an honor to meet you, I am your new assistant, Dean Edgar." He spoke as if nothing had happened just a few seconds ago, or more clearly as if he didn't just ignore his duty towards the new boss on the first day of her arrival, and that he didn't even welcome her as he was supposed to.

She flashed a little smile at him, returning his fake smile, but without raising her hand towards him to shake hands as she has done with the rest of the staff. "It is all my honor, Mr. Edgar, I hope we will work in harmony together for the sake of this branch."

Her words descended on him like a thunderbolt, causing him to lose control of his fake smile and leak his real emotions all over his face.

She was acting as though she didn't know him before!

"You are a really good actress," he spat out his words in a tone the rest of the staff could not hear.

"Excuse me?"

He returned his fake smile in order not to lose his job, "I mean you have a strong presence and reassuring beauty like an actress."

Confused, she said, "Thank you for the compliment, I guess. Now, I think we must share our personal information in order to stay in touch with each other."

"Our personal information?"

She looked at him in bewilderment and said in a serious tone, "Yes, aren't you my assistant?"

"Of course! I apologize, I just feel I'm not feeling well, I think I cannot stay any longer at your welcome party."

She raised both eyebrows at that but decided to overlook and ignore his tone and choice of words, after all, it was only her first day here and she didn't expect any better treatment. "It's okay since it's my first day here at work, there is not much to do anyway. I hope you will get better. Take good care of yourself."

"Of course, I will."

He turned his back to her, but before taking any step further away, he whispered under his breath, "Just know that when I come back, I will make sure to welcome you on my way, crazed Valentina."

5 hours later

"By the way, why are you here, Dean, were you not so tired just a few hours ago that you had to take the whole day off today?" John asked in confusion, as Joe kept looking quite calmly at Dean.

The three of them always headed to the bar every Friday night after work to take a break from the tiresome work of the passing week as it was their last working day of each week.

"Because he was not tired," Joe's simple words caused Dean to swallow the remaining liquor in the glass that was in front of him in one gulp in order to reduce the nervousness and anxiety that was starting to shoot up to his brain.

"Why do you say that? Didn't you see, this morning at work, how his face turned pale as though he was drained out from all the blood in his system?" John blurted out.

At that, and thanks to the alcohol shot that gave him enough courage to speak up, Dean started defending himself.

"Yeah, I was really tired-- rather exhausted, as a matter of fact," Dean agreed with John as he snapped at Joe, " As for you, Joe, don't act as though you know everything, because sometimes you just don't!"

Dean was saying nothing but lies because who was in front of him was Joe, the company's salesperson aka the brain of the company, and everyone knew that Joe, simply, was never wrong. He was always right, he just was born with it!

Joe's character was like a strict mother, even with his friends, and he was the best at everything he did; he was even known for solving the problems of others; just like a mom, he cared for them without showing it, but in his strange way. Joe also had the ability to know what was going on in their minds without having them say a word. Just like your average mother!

Everyone feared yet respected him.

To Dean's lies, Joe, with his cold, emotionless face, replied, "Liar."

John nodded agreeably as he directed his words at Dean, "Let me tell you something, the Ice King might be one of the little words, but he only speaks the truth: and I agree with him, there is something that you don't want to reveal!"

Dean poured more drink back into his glass and swallowed the burning liquid all at once, ignoring his two friends.

John smiled cunningly, completing, "I think I know what is going on here ... Dean, you couldn't control yourself in front of Valentina, is that not it? I mean, I was really shocked. She got more beautiful than before if that was even possible, and her personality is still as good and pure as that girl from years back. She changed but somehow, she also didn't." John declared before continuing, " Honestly, even her speaking solemnly made her even more pleasant and cute! "

Dean almost spat out what he was drinking, but at the last moment he held himself back before soaking his two friends who were sitting across from him, and that caused him to enter a fit of coughing.

Joe handed him a bottle of water in silence, and Dean whispered, "Thank you," as he could barely speak, and then began to open the bottle by removing the plastic cap.

John laughed at his friend's reaction, "Now the truth is crystal clear, for me at least, didn't everyone, back then, think you had a big ass crush on her?!"

"No, I never liked her, she was never my type, we were just friends," staring blankly, he wiped over his mouth with a white napkin.

John rolled his eyes "Obviously, you forgot the first time you met her and how you reacted. However, I didn't forget, and I am here, so alive, to share my knowledge," He laughed at his own words before facing Joe and saying," Oh Joe, damn it, man, if only you were back then with us to witness him shit himself! Just remembering that day makes me shudder with laughter!" He took a deep pause then declared, "Thinking about it now, I find your reaction at that time was kind of close to your reaction today, did you fall in love with her all over again or something like that?"

"John, I think that's enough. I didn't come here to talk about work!"

"She is not' "work"! Why don't you talk to her like a man, instead of shivering like a wee baby who has lost his mother," John tried to advise him with a laugh.

"If you have forgotten, I would like to remind you that I already have a girlfriend!"

"Is she another whore of attention or a gold digger like every time?" John countered.

"Both," said Joe, who had been silent the whole time.

Dean's eyes widened at that, but he decided to ignore both of his friends again.

"Even Joe, who, mind you, does not agree with me on anything, does agree with me on that you always and only date cheap girls, your taste is the worst, mate! So much so that it made me start to think that you are dating the worst and most malicious girls on purpose! is that so?" John blurted out.

Dean acted as though he didn't hear anything as he continued sipping from his glass.

Suddenly, Joe said out of nowhere, as though he was speaking to himself, "It hurts to see the new boss, it brings back painful memories."

Confused at Joe's weird tone and words, Dean looked up, staring at him with a poker face as he asked his friend. "What do you mean by that?"

" All I am saying is that behind the mask of confidence, of beauty and the luxury that she wears." Looking around the table, Joe took a pause, then continued, " If you look closely into her eyes, you will notice that they are empty. It seems that she is a woman who has completely lost her hopes in life." Joe explained.

Ironically, John snorted out loud as he looked at Joe, unbelieving at the words that his friend just uttered out of nowhere. Because Joe mostly kept his analyses of other people's personalities to himself, John couldn't believe that their friend was sharing a piece of his thoughts with them.

"Don't tell me she is your favorite type, can you even feel, mate? I sometimes forget that you are a human like us and not a walking robot."

"She indeed is my favorite type."

John felt as though he had just received the shock of his life: John could sense human emotions!

It was the first time that he had expressed an interest in a girl since John had met him at the company a few years back. "What the hell did you just say?" John almost shouted out of the thrill.

Dean's features have changed completely, and he felt as though he needed to reveal everything to his friend as soon as possible before he too would fall into the freak's net. She belonged in a mental hospital, and everyone needed to know this. However, when Joe continued his speech, Dean closed his mouth.

"This does not mean that I want to date her or anything. She just reminds me of my old girlfriend." Joe explained.

The deception could not continue after this; and an explanation immediately took place, by which Joe gained considerable amusement for the moment, without any material loss of confusion from John and Dean, and still without forfeiting their reaction of the first.

"Your ex sweetheart?"

"I was working in another company before I moved to TO International. There, I met an employee with the same eyes as Valentina's, and I dated her for a while and tried to help her, but it did not work out as I wanted to, so she broke up with me."

"But why didn't she fight for you? Doesn't that mean that she didn't love you from the start?" Dean asked, bluntly.

"No mistake there: it was not her fault, I did not give her enough hope to save her, the guilt of losing her is my own only and I will live with this guilt forever." He ran his hand through his hair and the signs of pain were clear on his face.

"I don't understand what you guys are talking about," John declared confusedly.

Joe ignored John as he stared at Dean with sharp eyes, "Even though, I only know Valentina since today, as you know, however, I do think that there is still hope for her state. At least her parents died in the earliest stage of her life, unlike my old girlfriend whose parents were the main reason for her falling into darkness before I came along in her life to completely destroy any living part of hers, don't you think so, Dean?

At that confession, Joe's words caused Dean's heart to return to memories that he had tried to kill, and bury in the deepest place in the corridors of his memory, but, alas, they seemed to still be there, alive and vibrant.

"I beg you, I will give you anything you want. Just give me one chance. Please, I never felt what it means to have parents at all. Even all those who trusted me took advantage of me and then abandoned me, but you are the only one who ..."

She tried to send him letters, but he never answered; so she stopped.

He spent a while after the accident hating thoughts of her. After a time, however, there came a change, and thoughts of Valentina ceased to disturb him as they once had done because his plan for revenge had completely blinded him. No one ever mentioned her to him, and since the receipt of her last letter, he had heard no tidings of her until six months after his departure, when there came to him the thousand of dollars, with all the interest which had accrued since the settlement first was made. There was no word from Valentina herself, but a letter from a lawyer in Paris, who said all there was to say about the business but did not tell where Miss Cuthbert was located.

Her smell, the feel of her soft hands, her smile.

Her warm tears, her pain, her hope and body as it rocked back and forth, begging for him to stay-- to try to understand.

Her obsession, her madness, her anger and her sweet mouth on his...Her sweet, sweet mouth where foul words, she used against him, took place of abode.

Many images of her from that night kept coming back at him, taunting him. Finally, it all stopped at the image and smell of the dark color of her blood that drowned the earth like a flood that day, all came through his memory, followed by the image which had kept haunting him in his worst nightmares for years now, but despite all that he still despised her and hated her to the core. He wished her death.

But why did he still remember everything as if it happened only yesterday and not more than three years ago? Why is his heart burning with shame?

She was the one who did him wrong, after all, and not the other way around. So, Why was he feeling ashamed of himself?

Why didn't he-- couldn't he forget her, despite it all-- despite all her twisted filth and dark mind?