“ Ahhh, you've arrived!”
I stopped at the time of unlocking the door of my apartment and turned to the end of the corridor, where a slender and pink-haired figure in a Black Power style was standing, smiling at me. My head was so full of problems and worries, that for a moment I didn't recognize the person who called me, and this left her with a slightly annoyed expression on her delicate face and covered in shiny makeup."Good night, Pink," I told her, opening a tired smile while disassembling the bun in my hair. I kept the lace along with the hair clip inside the backpack, and fixed it again on my shoulders. Pink watched me in silence, with arched eyebrows. "Is it my impression or were you waiting for me to arrive for a long time?”" But of course I was waiting. Did you forget that we were going to have dinner together today?”Yes, I completely forgot. But I couldn't say. Of all the people in the world, Pink Summer "the stage name she used for her presentations" was the only one who could get the best out of me effortlessly. It was a friend, almost a sister, that life gave me when I moved to that apartment complex. A brilliant woman with a degree in journalism who worked as a Drag Queen in her spare time and who had already gone through many troubles in life. That night he had probably just come out of some artistic presentation, and kept balancing on a 15cm heel. With two jobs on my back and a continuous smile on her face, Pink was my inspiration, although I didn't know.Her real name was Beatrice Goulart, and she always assumed a completely different personality when she was in her workplace. As a journalist, Beatrice always showed a lot of knowledge in political areas, and easily judged a person by the last vote of the past elections. She went three months without talking to me when she found out that I had voted blank for the election of the president, and said that the fault of the country being decaying in a crisis, was for the vote I gave with a kissed hand to the candidate who was winning, and that now really managed the whole country.I didn't understand politics and I didn't want to understand, because when I entered any discussion about it, I had the impression that Beatrice materialized out of nowhere to be able to debate in a rhythmic way what the other said. Our common interests were just the love of literature and the dream I had of working at the same publisher as her, although I refused to intern on the spot, because my goal related to publishers was much greater than just a half-time internship."What did you do for dinner? "I asked, turning the backpack aside to relieve the weight, as I entered your apartment. "I hope it's not stroganoff, you know I hate that thing.”Laughing at my disgusting face when remembering all the terrible experiences I had when eating stroganoff "the reason why I hated the dish", Beatrice leaned against the door to let me pass, and I slipped against the wall, dragging the backpack lightly over the numerous paintings and portraits on the walls of the main corridor of her house.That apartment complex was basically designed in the same way. We would have been to the door, and then there was the corridor, whose first door was going to a room, and the next to a room, and in front of it was the bathroom. Finally, in the back, there was the kitchen and the laundry area. All the windows were directed to the sun, so that some always saw it rise, and they always saw its sunset. But Beatrice found a way to make her home more receptive and differentiated than all of them. I was almost sure that she was the only one in the whole building who lit incense behind the door, because I believe that the strong smell would be felt even from the sidewalk if everyone did the same."I made my famous cow jammed! "She said, gesturing with her hands. "Go, leave the backpack in any corner. You're already from home.”And I really was. He knew perfectly well that his apartment was full of plants and that the delicious and pungent smell of incense impregnated the walls of the familiar shade of ice. He also knew that every little table, every shelf, or any object that could serve as support, there were crystals and energy stones or colored candles in the names of orixás or saints. Beatrice had her religion, and I had mine, but we never let it shake us in any way.While I said I was putting her in my daily prayers, she said she was asking her exu to protect me, I considered this a fair exchange, so I just thanked her for the protection. Sometimes, when I surprised her with a visit, she was listening to songs linked to Umbanda, and I never bothered to notice the lyrics. There was a day when she was listening to a song about an entity called Maria Mulambo.Basically, the singer said about a woman who was condemned alive, and that a priest felt sorry for himself and wanted to help, but he was also a sinner and the two were burned together. To the sound of the drum, the singer recited: "He joined the ashes and laughed at the moonlight, the woman became mulambo and the priest his street lock". And I unconsciously swayed to the sound of the drums, feeling that the song somehow touched my most primitive knowledge about religion.I've always been attracted to Umbanda, but I didn't know how there could be an introduction to this religion, and I didn't used to do much research on the internet about it. I've always been the kind of person who was very easily caught up in things. And, always created by fervent Catholics who were even afraid to talk about death, I still had this limitation of not wanting to seek other ways to revere entities. Although Beatrice was always talking by the elbows about the new energy stone she had received.Our friendship started in the most unexpected and crazy way possible. I had just made my move. I didn't know much about the region, because I had come from a big city and was too suspicious to know how to deal with the kindness and lack of concern of the people in the countryside. Then Beatrice appeared at my door, overnight, completely characterized by Drag and holding a huge platter of Dutch pie. She did not wait for an invitation to enter, and began to give me a lot of information about the building and its inhabitants. Beatrice didn't notice that I was not initially so excited to know about the neighbor of the fifteen cats or the liquidator with a curved back, so she kept gossiping until she finally caught my attention, and so we embarked on a conversation.Every day in the late hours of the night, Beatrice appeared at my door with a bowl or plate in hand, and brought me food while gossiping about her day. Little by little, I started to open up. She asked for information about my family, and I counted as much as I could say without feeling my voice embargo and tears begin to rise. "It's a too complicated subject, maybe I'll talk another time." But I never talked about it, and she never asked. She thought my parents and siblings were alive, she just didn't understand very well how I could leave the house and cut ties in the best possible way.However, the lack of blood family members never shook me. I quickly became part of Beatrice's life and family. So she was the only family I cared about to spend Christmas together, or to send happy birthday messages. Because my real family, which consisted only of a sister who lived in the neighboring city of the countryside, only remembered my existence to ask for money. By the way, that day, I was blocked on my sister's WhatsApp, and I hadn't received any news from my two nephews since my birthday last year, when she sent me a message saying that she wouldn't want me to visit her, because she wouldn't make any cake for me.Of course, I didn't miss the lack of my sister's cake at all, even though she worked as a confectioner and her cakes were wonderful. However, I resent not having a friendly relationship with my family. Because many people beat their feet in saying that the problem was that I wasn't interested enough to call and ask for their day-to-day trivialities, and that that
I laughed softly. One of the reasons for me to be very upset and want as far away from my family as possible was that fact. I had spent the New Year's Eve alone, crying. All because I didn't have many expectations of going out with friends, because I liked to drink, but not like them. I couldn't drink for a whole night and still wake up early to work. Even if the supermarket and office didn't work the day after the turn, I still worked on small secret projects at home. And I always preferred quiet and silence to having to find a crowd of people.However, before my relationship got even stranger with my sister, she asked me to spend the new year at her house, and I organized myself for that. I even had the trouble to buy a white dress just for the occasion. But, as on my birthday " which was a month before the new year" we had a fight, I didn't know I was automatically uninvited to celebrate the new year.I only realized that I would not pass with anyone when I sent a message to my sis
"Assign your saints for me, but I really need a vacation or a discharge session," I spoke with a way of mouth, although my lips have bowed.Beatrice let go of my fingers and sat up in the chair, assuming an excited and enlightened expression, that type that she only displayed when she found a worthy opponent to speak ill of the president she supported."Maybe my mother can make an appointment for you. I ask her to do it for free.”I waved my hand and shook my head in denial."No, Beatrice. It's a joke. You know I'm kind of crazy. I'll be bothered by the things she says, or I'll keep looking for more and more honest answers and I'll end up converting to her religion. You know that I'm a natural stalker and I can't stop spinning my world around something until this something leaves me satisfied. It's better not.”Beatrice crossed her arms, shrugging."I'm not kidding, Tas. Your life will be totally different when you have your first reading of letters. You will change this negativity wi
I said goodbye and managed to escape to my apartment before hearing the affective exaggeration that those two were. Saying that, I mean the popped kisses and the exchange of caresses without the slightest worry that they were not alone. It was a very beautiful love, and I admired them with all my heart. But at the same time, it worried me. He was the typical straight couple who knew each other since childhood and were together since adolescence, and society was never ready for any kind of genuine love. So I worried that something might happen to them. That someone could try to shake the strong relationship that the two had.Bia and Gildeon were my inspiration. The only friends who knew about my strong tendency to the literary world and who supported me tooth and nail. Gildeon even gave me legal advice when I mentioned that I was thinking of writing about a criminal without limits, in which I did my best to put all the details he gave me, even if the story was not read by more than a d
It was the second time I burned myself with my cup of tea.I had recently bought it when I discovered an internet store about literary articles, and I instantly fell in love with the Harry Potter-themed cup that only required the coat of arms belonging to the book when it was filled to the top by a smoking liquid. Most of the time, I just filled it with water just to have the pleasure of seeing the dark color giving way to the brightness that contained the drawing of the most famous magnificent witchcraft school in the literary world.As I sadly looked at the bubbles that formed on the side of my hand, the hot liquid smoked the refreshing aroma of lemon balm tea. I loved having tea. And I hated having coffee. I always had to listen to people questioning what I would take when I became old and tired, and my answer was always tea, or a lot of Coca-Cola. But never coffee.Coffee made me electric at times when I didn't need to, and sleepy when I couldn't rest. Then tea invigorated my ener
It was one o'clock on a Wednesday morning, and I was locked in my room, terrified that it would invoke anything I shouldn't. Again I say, that was not my religion, but it was part of some belief that my mother could have made me aware when I was little "she was afraid of any spiritual connection through magic, and the Tarot was one of those connections.However, I was feeling very peaceful and comfortable. Izabel had a rhythmic and soft voice, which brought comfort as she spoke. I didn't know what your face was like, despite seeing your photo on WhatsApp. We were on a video call, but I could only see your hands, the letters, some crystals resting under a small water fountain and the table itself that supported them.I didn't even know how his preparation for that reading had been, although I knew there was something to be done before. I didn't even dare to ask. My appointment was being made just out of mere curiosity. And also why I didn't want Pink to keep grumbling in all my visits
I should have questioned which deities we would be contacting so that the best time would be at dawn. However, I couldn't even formulate a sentence anymore without having to think deeply about it. I was tired, but curious, and I was nervous to know that I woke up in less than four hours and that I would work all day tired and in a bad mood.If someone asked me the reason for the even more marked dark circles, or for the constant yawns during the day, I would have to think of a good excuse. Because society was not very prepared to deal with harmless Tarot consultations. I didn't know how I should deal with that and how I could tell someone. Then I would keep it a secret."On the other hand," Izabel continued, touching a finger on the letter of a dog and a man. "There is someone who has a deep affection for you, and for what seems to be a man from your past. It's not someone new. And this same man appears again on his way to make things better. But it's not in the loving sense. The last
"And then we have your question about whether one day you will find someone better than your ex... "Izabel shuffled another deck and faster than before, removed five cards and formed the star, sliding her fingers over the drawings. "First I want you to know that this is the Roma granny's deck... It brings the truths that our loved ones know... It's a little deeper reading, but I'll take a card from the witches' deck when I finish this one.”"It's okay," I replied, truly afraid."The first letter we have is a dog, it can also represent a loyal friend or that someone will need your reciprocity to remain... Next to him we have a man on a black horse, who unlike the dog is disloyal, false and only approaches others in search of some personal advantage. Below the two cards, in the center, there is a hand with a ring pointing upwards. It could represent a marriage, but between these two conflicting letters it means that the false, disloyal and cruel man will have what he is looking for. Tas
I almost no longer needed to use the tracker I had installed on Flynn's cell phone at the beginning of everything. I only used it because I still couldn't stop that mistrust when I noticed that he spent too much time working. But the conversations were always the same with the customers. And I didn't suspect that he was going out with other people, because there was no time when we weren't together. Still, I couldn't totally trust him. There were days when I didn't sleep. Not until I was really alone at home.My sleep problems remained the same. Always caused by that fear of being vulnerable next to someone else, and also by the constant nightmares about the murders I've been orchestrating with the help of someone else. I never told my therapist the truth. I never let him reach more than the edge of my feelings. At the same time I was policing myself to act and speak the way everyone expected Tasha Santos to do, although deep down there was that rabid animal that was always ready to a
"Can you behave like educated children? "He scolded my sister, pulling one of my nephews by the ear. "That's why I never go out with you!”" Jenyfer, it doesn't have to be so hard," countered my brother-in-law, reaching the smaller child who wouldn't stop climbing on the couch and throwing the cushions up. "They are too small to understand. And I'm sure your sister doesn't mind them playing, does Tasha?”"They will understand very well when their aunt put them on platters and bake for our lunch," shouted Jenyfer, looking with her eyes for any confirmation that I would be really furious.I left the platter with pasta in white sauce on the table and stretched my neck to see through the open door of the kitchen, finding my brother-in-law with my three-year-old nephew on his lap who kicked and shook his golden curl hair, in a desperate attempt to get back to mess up everything he found on his way. While my sister held her eldest son, ten years old, by the tip of her ear. It should be hurt
I still hid many secrets from Flynn. The biggest of them was also a surprise that left me in shock for at least three days, until I remembered that I needed to act normally so that he had no idea what was happening to my body, until I found the perfect opportunity to use this against him. At the moment, we were fine. We had sex every day. We ate in fancy places. We slept in the moonlight. And sometimes we resumed the sexual provocations and attacks within the company.Everything seemed very good in my life. So good that sometimes I even wondered where the hidden cameras of the prank were. Because trying to compare the woman of months ago who barely had time to eat and sleep because of the two jobs that they couldn't even pay the bills, and trying to find similarities with the woman who was having the life of dreams, was impossible. I still worked during the day and dedicated myself to writing in my free moments, wanting to reach higher and higher levels in that achievement, and willin
I knelt before the well-kept and immaculate tomb of one of the farthest cemeteries in the city, depositing my set of small yellow flowers below the concrete tombstone, which read "Diana Garcia. 08/23/1991. 12/24/2020."Despite bringing a handkerchief in my hands and touching it from time to time in the waterline of my eyes, I wasn't crying. In fact, the only emotion I felt was the pure satisfaction of having accomplished all my goals without anyone realizing where I was wanting to go. Diana Garcia had been the woman who gave the bad luck to cross her path to mine, when she decided to mistreat me and demoralize in front of her ex-husband, and my current fiancé, Flynn Ashton. I persuaded an unstable and deeply shaken man to take his life. I manipulated and orchestrated every step taken, and I still became some kind of national victim who was too traumatized to give clear statements to the police. Diana Garcia was my perfect victim, and Landon the criminal who freed me from paying for an
"What's going to happen now? "I asked against your chest. "What do we do with life? With the police? The investigator was here earlier. He asked me about my relationship with Leo, the man who held me hostage at the end of the robbery. In the researcher's opinion, I seemed to be too friendly with someone who always presented unstable behaviors.”"I knew," he said, leaning his chin on my head. "They want to discredit us in every way, Tas. But you don't have to worry. I have a real team of lawyers. No one will get enough arguments to cause fear. They have nothing to suspect, at the end of the day. The point is that it is much more interesting to focus on the relationships we had with the people involved in the crime, than to actually solve it. That's the problem with the police in this place.”"I'm still afraid, Flynn. "I commented in a trembling voice. "I'm still afraid that they might catch me off guard and make me confess something I didn't even do. I've never been in front of police
"I don't feel vulnerable," I said, already feeling in which direction that conversation would take. I had to show that I was very stubborn and the owner of my own will. "And I think this whole situation may have made you a little paranoid, Flynn. I'm not criticizing. I think anyone in their normal state would become a little suspicious. But if you're suggesting that I need security guards, I refuse. I can’t work every day knowing that when I leave the supermarket I will get into a car with two armed men and that they will leave me at home, or that they will take me to your house, because you no longer trust the people who live in my building, and that’s why you prefer to avoid it. I don't want bodyguards, just like you don't want to either. And I don't think that being with you will make me a target. I think this can even increase my security, since no one will want to mess with someone so powerful.”"I know the question is strange to you," he said, still without looking me in the eye
Flynn totally entered the room, and seeing him was like opening the curtains in a dark room. He was my sun on that rainy night outside, and I was really happy to see him. The hair was loose on his shoulders, and the smooth and silky strands slipped smoothly to make the face even more beautiful and shiny. He took off his mask and kept it in his pocket, while still watching me, looking as happy and radiant as I should be."The nurse told us that the number of visits was limited," Cristiano said somewhere far from my attention. "I don't think she'll be happy to see so many people in here. Tasha just went through a traumatic situation. She needs rest. You can't keep getting so many people in the room like that.”"You're right," said Flynn, looking away for a quick moment to observe Cristiano. "You can leave now. I've arrived.”"I'm not going out," Cristiano said with a dull giggle. "I arrived first.”"Oh, for God's sake! "Beatrice grunted, rising from a jump. She pulled Cristiano violentl
"Look, Cris... I really like you. I really loved you more than anything in this life. But you're not the guy I can call when the situation gets tight, you know? "I said, performing a mouth-in-mouth. "You're the guy who amuses me, makes me laugh, but that's all. All you do besides that is hurt me. And I know you may be being sincere in saying that you really realized that we were born for each other and that we should continue together, but now, after all, you no longer fit into my life, Cris.”"No, Tas. You don't have to say anything. "He interrupted, pretending that I hadn't really said anything. "I understand that you are already with someone else. And I don't want this guy to suffer, thinking that you'll be able to love him as you love me. I know you can't love anyone the same way you loved me, and I think he'll need some time to understand that. But I don't want to force anything. I don't want you to tell him out of nowhere that you don't want to see him anymore. We can make it wo
Beatrice snorted, but went to sit in one of the chairs, watching Cristiano like an eagle watching the chicks in her nest."What do you need to know? "He asked."How did the police arrive so fast? "I asked Beatrice, disappointing Cristiano's expectations. "How did they know what was happening in the supermarket, if the employees were surrendered before they had time to call them?”"The police had been following Flynn since the first crime," she replied, undoing the angry expression. "They considered him a suspect, yes, but the point was that they believed that the bandits would not leave Flynn alive to tell the story of what had happened. And, being a billionaire man in the middle of Brazil, they took on the role of following his every step to know if they would not meet the bandits at some point. And the moment came when Flynn came to pick you up that night. They were waiting across the street, in plainclothes, when they noticed that masked men entered the establishment. All we really