Pathetic Cry Baby

Veronica

The waiting room was quiet now, but just hours earlier, it had been pure chaos. Veronica called Courtney to notify her of her sister's asthma attack. Courtney notified the rest of the family, and they were all there within minutes. They were already upset about Nellie's attack, but it was when Rick arrived that things got ugly.

Courtney had to be held back. She refused to let Rick in to see Nellie. She blamed him for Nellie's being in the hospital in the first place. Then Nellie's brother, Raymond, arrived, and when he realized why Courtney was so upset, he went on the attack himself. Eventually, Rick left and things began to calm. During the hours that passed, Courtney filled Veronica in on what Nellie had suspected for months. Months. And not once had she mentioned it to Veronica. She couldn't be sure why, but Veronica had a feeling.

Since her mother's death, Nellie had been doing everything she could to try to cheer Veronica up. Veronica was too caught up in her own depression to even notice Nellie might be having marital issues. Nellie had never even let on. The guilt was more than Veronica could bear.

Nellie's parents finally came out of her hospital room, allowing Veronica to enter. Nellie was doing better from what the doctors had told them, but she'd be in the hospital for at least a few days. They wanted to run a few more tests and have a specialist see her before she was released.

When Veronica walked in, Nellie smiled. The oxygen mask on her face and the tubes in her arm made her look so incredibly helpless. Veronica felt the lump begin to form in her throat again. She walked over to the side of the bed and took Nellie's hand in hers. "How are you feeling?" she whispered.

Nellie nodded and smiled. "I should know better than to let myself get so low on my Albuterol."

Veronica had to wonder if maybe Nellie had been using it more than usual lately because of Rick. She squeezed her hand. "Why didn't tell you tell me, Nel?"

Nellie squeezed back. "Oh, honey how could I? You were going through enough."

Veronica felt a tear slip down her cheek. "But I should've been there for you."

"I had Courtney. She was the only one that knew of my suspicions." Nellie attempted a weak smile. "And she's quite the sleuth, that girl." Then she chuckled. "I heard she almost kicked his ass in the waiting room."

Veronica laughed softly, wiping her tears away. "Yeah, she had to be held back."

One thing about Nellie and Courtney's relationship was that it had always been strained. Growing up, Courtney was Nellie's pretty, outgoing, popular, younger sister while Nellie had always been the bookish, less than exciting sister on the outside. Even though Nellie never admitted it because her heart was too big, being the popular pretty one wasn't enough for Courtney. She was still jealous of Nellie's close relationship with their father. Nellie was obviously the favorite.

Of course, their father never declared it, but Nellie never got into trouble. She had great grades all through grade school and high school and was never promiscuous. Courtney, on the other hand, was the opposite, but it was more than that. Just as Nellie fawned over Veronica—going out of her way for her and genuinely worrying about her—Nellie had always been the same for anyone she loved in her life. Her father saw this. Courtney was never like that, which is why it surprised Veronica that she'd reacted the way she had to Rick's betrayal of Nellie.

Still, Veronica knew she should've been there for Nellie. "Well, I know now." She squeezed Nellie's hand. "So I expect you to come to me no matter what happens. I owe you, Nel. It's not fair that I wasn't there for you."

Nellie nodded, agreeing and began telling her about Rick's affair. She suspected things had been changing between the two of them for over a year now. When she confided in Courtney, her sister had taken it upon herself to investigate. At first, there were nothing more than dead ends, but there were many things that didn't add up. She admitted to not telling Courtney every detail, because deep inside she was hoping she was wrong.

There were his late nights at work happening far more often. And she'd caught him in a few lies that eventually seemed to check out, but in hindsight, she knew now that Rick was just very good about covering up his tracks—that and the fact that she didn't want to see things for what they really were.

"Now that you know, what are you gonna do?"

The tears had come halfway through their conversation and Veronica wept with her friend, holding her hand the entire time. "I still love him."

Veronica nodded, fully understanding. She thought of the only serious relationship she'd ever had—with Derek. They had even begun to speak of her moving in with him. Then her mom got the news of her cancer. In the beginning, he'd been patient, but as her mom's illness got worse and she began to have less and less time or energy for him or their relationship, they began to drift apart. Unlike Rick, he at least had the decency to tell her he'd met someone else. He even suggested they take a break and maybe try again later when she had the time—in other words, when her mother died. She was so hurt and angry, and, at the time, told him she wanted nothing to do with him.

Even though she thought what Rick had done to Nellie was despicable, she understood completely what Nellie was feeling. There had been times since her mother had died that she'd been tempted to call Derek. And her relationship with him didn't even compare to Nellie's marriage. Nellie and Rick had been married for four years, and he'd been her first real love.

Although her feelings for Derek had died almost the moment he admitted to meeting someone else, she'd never loved him like Nellie loved Rick. In fact, she questioned now whether she'd ever loved Derek at all.

Nellie took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. "I can't stay married to him now. I don't even know that he'd want to. I know Rick. He would've never done something like this unless he was in love with her. I just wish I had confronted him the moment I noticed the change in him. Maybe he wasn't in love yet." She lifted a shoulder. "I'll live. You've been through worse and look at you."

"Please don't look at me as inspiration on how to handle depression. God, I've been a mess."

"But you're doing something about it now. Remember?"

Veronica stared at her, not sure if now was a good time to tell her she wasn't going back to the gym, but she didn't have to. Her friend knew her too well. Immediately she lifted an eyebrow. "You're going back tomorrow, Veronica."

"I can't," she whispered, knowing she sounded like such a wimp.

"You have to," Nellie said then dropped the guilt bomb. "It would be one less thing I'd have to worry about, honey. You have no idea how worried I've been about you. I promise you as soon as I can, I'll join you again."

Suddenly, Veronica felt like the most pathetic crybaby in the world. Nellie had to deal with her marriage falling apart, had been dealing with it all on her own, and all Veronica had to do and for her own good was workout. Nothing bad could come of it except maybe some achy muscles, but she'd get started on shedding those forty plus pounds she'd packed on and maybe start feeling like a human being again.

"You don't have to join me, Nellie. I know how much you hate working out, and we both know you do not need to lose weight." Veronica wouldn't say it because she didn't want to make her feel worse, but Nellie had always dropped weight when she was stressing. Nellie had already been surprised tonight to find out she'd lost weight. Veronica knew why now and something told her Nellie's weight would surely plummet further after this. "I'll go back, and I promise I'll try my hardest to lose weight as fast as I can. I need to snap out of this already, because now it's my turn to be there for you."

They talked some more before Veronica went home, took a much needed shower, and had a glass of wine that, despite her eventful evening, helped her sleep like a baby.