Words can deceive the listeners
But not the readers.You heard it 'I want to live my life'But I read it as 'I want to leave my life'.Words can deceive those who can hearBut not those who can feel.You've heard 'I loved you'But I felt 'I lied to you'.Looks can deceive those who took a look partiallyBut not those who can see wholeheartedlyYou looked like an angel descend from the sea of cloudsBut I saw you as a demon hiding your face at the crowd.Stories can deceive those who just read itBut not those who appreciate it.You easily read the passageBut I got the message.A smile can deceive those who are happyBut not those who are waryYou put it to your face easilyWhile I had to wear it having difficulty.Tears can deceive those who see itBut not those who feel it.You saw it as tears because of happinessBut I felt it as tears because of weakness.My faithful readers, this recently week my mom died after her operation. This is the reason why i paused for a while in writing. Hope you understand. See yah on next month. Are you an introvert?Well I am.I have been suffering and experiencing isolation since I was young, it is not because I'm pretty shy or whatever. But because I just can't afford words to present in front of human beings. I can stood up, talk, and socialize with others , but I always feel like I belong to a world where all I can spot is myself, I hated people for making me feel that I deserve nothing just because I am different. You never knew what an introvert is going through, a lot of thoughts inside their minds but they chose to say no to sharing it because they are being judged, and never felt acceptance from the world. They may seemed to be weird and anti social but believe me, they need to be heard, they needed you to come in and save them from the silence that became the only sound for t
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much. Out of the ringing roar of the train; out of the sound of a hundred hopping passengers; and out of the loud beats of my heart — swinging in my ears all at once, I will always remember how you came into my life unexpectedly — like a lost gentle wind in the wintered wilderness.I will always remember every inch of your angelic face, from your lucid and mysterious brown eyes; the perfect traces of your nose; and your intoxicating sweet paragon lips, whether or not it is crystal clear to you, no doubt the heaven is unveiling as it should. I will always remember how you speak your truth and share your worst faults; and listen to my side, even the dull and nefarious; they too matter to you. Therefore, I say, "I am the luckiest person to have someone l
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much.I remember when you made a mistake — you were afraid to face, stand up, and fight, thinking that you might not be able to cope. A few nights and days have passed before you learned to lift yourself to the surface. So many opportunities were wasted, afraid that you might not be enough. Those days that you're hated are the days you become a hatred yourself.Through it all, I still admire you. Your bravery in fighting your flaws and sins are unimaginable. But most of all, your eagerness in trying things that you are afraid to deal with, is beyond applauded. Everything that happened was just a phase, no matter how your personality is portrayed like garbage — everyone doesn't have the right to bring you down.We have our issues and
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much. As the years went by, the memories of what I was, what I dreamed of, and the people I once cherished slowly faded away to blurriness through the mist of time. Mornings, I see the sunrise only to find my desolated soul walking in broad daylight. Hopelessly wandering around looking for a spark, hope, a cure for the lost cause I have become.I started pushing people away, started killing the aspirations the young me once created. I started to believe in what they said, that I will never reach anything in life. The cracks itself showed in my arms and the unfixable damage that I have endured through the time I have spent trying to survive.I can feel how the warm breeze slowly shifts to cold, rainy weather. I loved seeing the blue sky, but n
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much. I've always admired arts for their mesmerizing beauty that brightens up this world, they taught me that a simple art can make you feel something even just by looking at them. That's when I knew I wasn't wrong when I considered him as an art. By staring at his glimmering eyes, that's when I found the most aesthetic art. Thru his eyes, he lightens up the dimmed and doomed place I was once in. He was the colorful painting and I was the lifeless and monochromatic one in a museum. With his contagious smiles and laughters, I've been released from that dark and gloomy room. With his kisses and affections, the facade I was once behind has now vanish. With him, I never wanted to look at other pieces anymore. Thru his eyes, he made me realize that the greatest kin
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much. Someday we will meet again,in the place where it all started,in the time we didn’t know each other,and maybe that day I won’t recognize you,and I won’t able to remember who you are.Maybe at that day you have found him,the one who gave you smile and happiness.Maybe at that day I won’t remember the pain,perhaps I can live my life again,maybe I could start another chapter of my story.I hope if that day comes,I won’t remember how much I love you,or how much I want you to be with me.I hope if that day comes I won’t pretend to be that someone who I am not.I hope if that day comes we were just like strangers.
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for a meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much. It's been months since we drifted apart, yet your voice is still vivid and clear in my mind, like a theme song of my go-to series, which is stuck in my head replaying over and over again. I missed you very much. I even realized I missed you more than ever as I found myself occupied just by thinking about you. And then you texted me at random yesterday; I had no idea it was you because I had deleted your number a few months ago, along with the things that reminded me of you, which I regretted a few minutes later. You wanted to see me all of a sudden, that made me feel a mix of emotions and a plethora of feelings (just to make things flowery) I had never felt before. It's a mix of excitement and sadness, like a long awaited field trip that you really looke
To My Lovely Readers,This previous week I lost my dearest Mom and niece, for now, help me to keep reading and remain for the meantime, and can't wait to write again for an update. Hope you understand. Thank you so much.This Tuesday,it will be twelve days since you left us. I try not to dwell on how much you are missing here on Earth, but that can be easier said than done. I am often told how you are happier in Heaven but honestly that never makes me feel better. Actually, if I am completely honest, that thought makes me a bit angry. I don’t want you to be happier in Heaven, I want you to be here with us. I want to talk to you, I want to see you, and I want you to be there for all the events and life milestones, no matter if they are big or small.I hate that you left us so soon, and even more so when I know that I never got the chance to say goodbye. Maybe I am being selfish, but I don’t care, I think in this situation I am allowed