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My head is utterly fucked. Howen is practically mute. I murdered Ronan and froze when Lyra poured her heart out. I pound the bags in the gym like a madman. I knew she was hiding in Corina’s room. Reu told me, perhaps hoping I might try to talk to her. I cannot lie, almost every night when the nightmares got the better of me, I rest my head against the cool metal door and tried to catch any hint of soothing vanilla. Was there anything she or I could say that would erase the fact she had lied for so long? I had told her I wanted to love all of her, not just the segments she dared to offer. She had gone and shown me everything only for me to turn away. After leaving Viktor to perform his tricks I had spoken to Mara at length. She said the same as Viktor, their stories tied up. She was completely swept up in the blonde-haired hero. Every time Viktor wandered nonchalantly into the gym space, strippng down to show off his blemish-free back and chest I tore into the boxing bag with venom.
Whilst Corina slept, I was called to check Viktor. I heard about Howen losing it and how Arlen, Sol, and the others had to spend half an hour picking up the huge vat of cutlery that scattered across the concrete floor. I walked quickly, businesslike. As if it was any other person. When I unlocked his dorm, the sign for lockdown hanging over the handle with Fabian posted at the door on guard. I stood tall. He sat waiting on a grey-stained bunk, his perfectly chiselled face swollen and puffy. There was no blood, his golden eyes glittering with interest as I walked in.. “Hey there, Chick.” I turned back around and shut the door. “He’ll be fine. If he really bitches about the pain he could have a towel soaked in cold water to help the swelling.” Then I returned back to the sleeping Corina. We are running out of painkillers fast. I am having to lessen the dose to try and make them stretch which means we are entering a horrible phase of crying and whimpering. She pleads to die, regretti
In the dark, touching her face it almost seemed like we could make it. My wolf pushed a million different begging, adoring, forgiving things I should tell her. All the stresses that had been building up on me since she confessed. Knowing about Howen and Viktor’s twisted connection, worrying about Reu being so odd lately. The fact that in a few weeks I’d be facing my rigid superiors. Justifying the chaos that took place, plus the treasure safe still not being open. However, the swirling carnage of my mind started to simmer down. The longer I inhaled that vanilla and held her gentle little face in my hand, it all seemed mangeable. Then my pulse quickened as I felt her cheek leaning into my palm, then her own slender fingers wrapped around mine, keeping me planted to her. I close my eyes. There is a strange thudding sound, and then I feel her hand on my chest. Whatever food she had picked up scattered to the ground. It felt like a dream, the kind where you’re almost certain you’re awa
I’d been under the hot water for an hour already, the showerhead working me to a state of near-fulfilment so many times. Except it never satisfied me. It was only through imagining Declan doing those things to me that I ascended but it was a pale imitation of feeling his hands on my body. Without warning my wolf grew tense. I panicked Ronan was loose for a second until I remembered the tattooed monster was dead. So what was my wolf afraid of? Turning off the shower I quickly dried, wrapping an emerald green silk nightgown around my body. I had to investigate. I wandered to the Black Hall first, but it felt off. Normally my wolf is pulling me there with all the force in the world but not tonight. Instead I walked down Corridor Six. Usually the warmest part of the bunker, tonight it was cold. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. A series of clattering and banging stopped me in my tracks. Then a cry of pain. I hid behind a concrete beam. After some more noise, from around the corn
My hands raked across his solid chest, up over his shoulders, my fingers in his hair. I knew his body so well his scars and ridges of pain were all part of what I wanted. It was a dream. This couldn't be real. He pulled away and kissed the top of my head, inhaling my scent. “You don’t have to apologise anymore. I don’t want that. I only ever wanted you. I was just so fucking bitter I didn’t have all of you.” I couldn’t fight the word my wolf was begging me to whisper. “Mine,” crept out, as I placed a kiss on the site of his speeding pulse and felt a warm, rumbling growl in return. He nuzzled his strong face against my neck and rasped “I understand what you were trying to do when you looked after Viktor. You’re so kind-hearted you’ve even cared for Corina.” Clutching him to me, I refused to lie any more. I had to be honest. “I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be selfish and not keep giving pieces of my soul away. I just want to love you. Only you.” Like unlocking a riddle m
She has no idea how stunning she is. Even before Howen left my mind was in pieces over seeing her running in that green silk robe. Her emerald eyes wide and shining, a flurry of black hair flying behind her. I forgot every reason not to grab her right there and then, before she saved my life.It just didn’t matter. Her mistake was to have kept an outsider alive in this shithole. A place where people turn against each other for no reason. People I thought I could trust with my life were shattering under the pressure of life underground whilst she continued to care and heal. Lyra is the exception to every rule I held about our kind. The instant I finally understood that fact, I would have grovelled on my knees to make her mine, Alpha or not.. Perched on the ladder I had gazed in wonder at her, bathed in moonlight. Her skin was immaculate under the cold moonlit glow I briefly wondered if Howen had managed to murder me after all. This vision was some kind of heavenly, vanilla-scented pa
The noisy celebration died down, everyone in the room seemed to be smiling at me. Elvie had tears flowing down her face, Arlen and Sol beamed at me. Even the blonde Fabian and Dill, the Rogues who had once tried to kill me were beaming.It slowly dawns on me. I’m an idiot. If they know about Howen, they probably know about Lyra.“Well, yes, I guess there is more news,” and I rub the back of my head, fighting a blush. This is not the kind of public speaking you get trained for as a Rogue. Death threats and interrogations, my scarred, grizzled demeanour is made for. This, not so much. “See, I know the ice above is thin because I found the hole Howen escaped through last night. I could see the moon. So could…Lyra,” and the room burst out into cheers.“Mates! You’ve found your mate!” “Congratulations!”“LYRA!” screamed at least half a dozen women.My rogues came and offered me handshakes and gruff shoulder slaps. Lyra found herself surrounded by a crowd of people. I wondered how many of
A reluctant procession of miserable slaves raised me to adulthood. To feel not only the power of Declan’s love, but the affection of so many people, it is a wonder I haven't shot out of this bunker like a rocket.He looked so handsome. Wearing a dark top and pants, running his hands through his shaggy brown hair like he does when he’s nervous. He never flinched when he took over this place all those months ago. Allowing people to see he was happy was a tougher task, and I loved him all the more for it.I had feared the mate bond for a long time. Until I turned eighteen, I held a phobia that it could be Ronan. I remember as part of the horror of the night he attacked me, a strange, fleeting little drop of relief amidst the trauma that he was not my mate.Elvie clutched my hands and cried, tears streaming down her face, “I knew you had got back together, but mates?”“I know, I never got a chance to tell you this morning,” as she wrapped me in a hug.“I am so happy for you! He is a good
### FIVE YEARS LATER ### The truck has seen better days. More grey than black it trundles us wherever we need. Declan has become the expert at fixing it, fully aware that I absolutely love it when he gets oil on his hands or face. Rolling up his sleeves, showing his huge forearms that are solid from hard work, I offer up a daily prayer of thanks to the Goddess. “You are sure this is the place?” “I heard about it from the others back home.” Home was our small fishing village named Filney. Today was an unusual adventure for us, having barely left our little world for so long. Leaving the fortress all those years ago we had just headed south. With no more diversions or magnetic tourist attractions to show me, Declan took me to the very furthest tip of our nation. It still took a couple of months to get so far south. Just as he had dreamed, I fell asleep in the truck, waking up to him gently nudging me. However back then there had been no bump, just the first twinges of nausea and
The rumours were true. Only a minute or two after we got Howen and Pearl onto the ground did a silent shaft of light blaze down. Watching from outside the fortress it appeared painful, the way everyone dropped to the floor covering their eyes. Even I had to shield my eyes with my hands.From what I could see amidst the whiteness Elvie appeared to have lost her mind, stood tall, flailing her arms and shouting upwards. Declan held me close, wrapping his leather jacket back around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.“Thank you,” leaning into him, loving the warmth of his huge body against mine.“What for?”“For not wanting to change us.”Declan shifted, leaning against the black truck door. “Can I say I am happy with myself without sounding like a dick? I’m covered in damage but I don’t care anymore.”“Well you are perfect, to me at least.” I smiled, watching him roll his eyes even though he squeezed me a little tighter. As quickly as it descended the beam vanished. From a dista
The past few months have been a blur. When the Goddess light first appeared I didn't have a clue what to do. Instinct took over as I shredded into Reu's jacket with my claws, my wolf somehow emerging for the first time since I accidentally shifted at fourteen. I was whipped so severely for just my claws emerging in front of a Beta that I never tried it again. But when the light subsided, returning us to cold darkness I was sprawled underneath Reu in my wolf form. "What the fuck just happened?" Dill shouted, as everyone rubbed their eyes and huddled. Nearly everyone had dropped to the floor, unable to find their way indoors in the searing brightness. "Is everyone okay!" Reu shouted, clambering to his feet, his white hair a ragged mess. "Does anyone need help!" Everyone gasped as he stood up, revealing my shifted form. All the originals knew what a big deal it was. "Elvie is that you!" Arlen cried out, pointing in surprise. Then Sol gasped. "Arlen your…your hands!" "Dill your fac
I squealed as Declan roughly shoved me into Pearl, scattering us to the ground.Then I saw why. Holding a long-barrelled shotgun, eyes blazing a furious gold stood Viktor. He was red-faced, sweating with exertion. Blonde hair now hung down to his shoulders, dirty and tangled. “What the fuck are you doing here,” Viktor said with a sneer, keeping the barrel pointed directly at Declan’s face. Manoeuvring so he could see all three of us togethe, his once handsome face twisted in smug victory.Gesturing the gun quickly towards me I gasped in fear as he mocked us. “You’re looking good Lyra, and a pretty friend too. My Declan, aren't you getting adventurous. Or did you fancy a less damaged slut for a while?”“Fuck off,” Pearl growled but this was no time for trading insults. Not when my mate had a gun waved in his face.“You’ve hidden the golden wolf here then?” Declan said flatly, flexing his huge chest, parting his legs to try and cover Pearl and I. From my crouched position I could feel
Lyra, forever formed of kindness and light raced to her side, Skidding into the blood and straw, not caring about her light cotton dress as she cradled Mara’s long blonde hair in her hands. “Mara what happened to you! Shit! Pearl, get some help, quick!” As the guard swore and cursed his bad luck, Pearl ran off. I heard her rummaging around in the guard room at the top of the corridor. Mara spluttered, her teeth stained with blood. Lyra carefully stroked her blonde hair away from the blood on her face, as gently as a mother would a newborn. “Lyra he…I did everything he asked.” “But you hurt people for him? The guards at the fortress, the men in this gold sale?” “I had to! I didn’t want to but he told me it was the only way. The only way we could be together. We put the golden wolf safe then came here to sell the little trinkets,” as she got upset her words became more ragged, her breathing starting to rattle. “We had such a good time…it was, he was perfect.” Pearl came scampering b
I have failed. Six months ensuring nothing harmed her happiness and I’ve gone and trashed it anyway. Those green eyes are filled with confusion and it’s all because of me. Because of something as simple as a dream. Albert having finally waddled downstairs, I slowly walk towards her. For the first time she steps backwards. Fuck. “You want to find Viktor? Howen? Both of them?” “I have to,” I confessed sadly, slumping down to sit on the soft bed. I rubbed at my eyes, running my hands through my short brown curls in frustration. “Lyra, these nightmares…these dreams are telling me I’ve got to do something.” “What dreams?” her voice softening, even though her arms are still folded. I keep my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly as I force the words out. “Last night, I saw Howen as he was, as a young man being led away from me by Viktor, into a crowded road. I run, I search. I kill strangers in the streets to try to get to him. It drives me feral to the point where my dream ends wi
Of course leaving the Fortress wouldn’t be complete without some final bloodshed. Seeing how Declan’s brotherhood had torn themselves to pieces the instant Beldon died was sobering. When I asked if we needed to tell the rest of the Rogues waiting back at the base, Declan shook his head. “The ones that made it out would have high-tailed it straight back there anyway."“What made Beldon and Morrell so…angry?” “I think they let their Bond fail. I don’t think you can live a life that violent, however well intentioned and not let it taint something pure,” Declan replied flatly. “Once that starts to rot, it all falls apart. Like how you described Corina.”So with Beldon’s body gingerly dragged from the flatbed of the dented black truck, we left. We were silent for the first few hours. Mainly because I was staring out of the window like an idiot at everything new. Declan was content to just drive, and watch me from the corner of his eye. Seeing the cragged black mountains up close, actual
Declan and Lyra left a few days ago. Elvie and I insisted on being the ones to take them back to what was left of the Rogue camp. On the snowmobiles, carrying machine guns and blades, we found a site of devastation. Blood had been spilled. A huge amount of it judging by the snowy corpse-clumps in the ground. Only one truck remained, Beldon’s frosted corpse. Tent sheeting flapped with claw marks, chunks of leather clothing shredded. Elvie and Lyra had shuddered to discover Amelie under one of the collapsed tents. “So this is Rogue law?” Elvie had muttered with a bitter tone. “You never know with Amelie, she may have struck the first blow or tried to lead a group attack,” I said after a minute's consideration. She always wanted to play big.She wouldn’t have even been up here had she not begged to come. Sitting quietly around every campfire for years, I have learned to watch people when they think they aren’t being studied. Amelie wanted more than her usual piece of Dec the instant
Seeing Declan standing above my bed, blanket in hand, face flushed with desire I had for a second assumed it was just another fantasy. Too much hugging of the sandalwood-scented pillow, tricking myself again.Then he kissed me. He was so real. With a desire that bordered on frenzy, he seized and fucked me so exquisitely I felt I was coming apart at the seams. Only his gruff, heavy hold over my body kept me together. There was no feeling like it in the world when he sunk that deep inside. Laid next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, my toes curled at the memory of how he grabbed my ass, admiring me even though I knew my back was littered with scars.I love how even in his sleep, if I try to move away he instinctively pulls me closer. So excited to have him home I study him, unable to rest myself. His brown hair is shaggy and unkempt. That brown beard I love is even more ragged and needs trimming after so many days away.Despite the fighting and lack of food, Declan’s bod